Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Hey there...is that Miss Mazza sneaking in over here in this classy joint? What happened, they locked you out of the sandwich spot? Lol...
Hey, you know you're always welcome...heck, they let me and Scooter in...I guess anyone's welcome...
Brandy and hot milk, eh? Hmmm...never tried that one...what happen, you lose a bet or something?
Makes that kosher wine sound appetizing...well, almost...
What we got to drink here Reverend? Any good specials tonight? Let me get another shot of Walgreens tequila while I'm thinking about what to drink...and pour one for Miss Mazza...
Just stick it on Scooter's tab...he's too drunk to notice...
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Let me start by saying that I did not write this, and I don't normally post other people's work...in fact, I think this may be a first...but, I have to make exception here...after all, this is "The Greatest Poem Ever Written"...
Lee Goldberg, the rather witty poet responsible for this opus had sent me a note thanking me for my comment I had left over on Poetry Craze and we've been communicating since...I've been trying to con him into coming over to Stories Space, where I think he'd fit in like the last piece of a jig saw puzzle...and if you've read any of Maggie Rascal's work over there recently, you'd know exactly what I mean...
In fact, I have this sneaking suspicion that Lee and Miss Rascal may have been separated at birth...but, it's just a theory...
I just found this too entertaining to not share...
And so I present to you...
The Greatest Poem Ever Written...
Lee Goldberg
This is the verse to end all verse.
This is the mother of all great rhyme.
It is complex, inclusive, and therefore not terse.
It demands effort, concentration, analysis and time.
This opus touches every aspect of life.
It finds absolute truths we all desperately seek.
It pierces through nonsense like a red-hot steel knife.
It makes one tremble, and leaves the knees weak.
This work will surprise and astound and amaze.
It will thrill and inspire and give everyone hope.
The astute careful reader will be left in a daze
from its brilliance, truth, and limitless scope.
What soon follows in my humble voice
shall one day be holy to both wise and devout.
Critics will just laugh and deride poor James Joyce.
They'll wonder what all the big fuss was about.
The astounding words that I now pen
shall change the way all earthly beings exist.
A masterpiece like this shall never come again.
No longer will doubt, fear, or hatred persist.
The phrases forthcoming will be cherished like gold.
The message will summon as the coming of a savior.
The insights unearthed will be told and retold.
The power will forever change human behavior.
Prepare to be transformed, awakened, reborn.
Prepare for your new life about to begin.
The fabric of space-time is about to be torn,
but then re-stitched in harmony with yang and with yin.
Prepare to feel ecstasy and reverence and fear,
to sing and to cry and to dance like a child.
Prepare for the start of a transforming year.
Prepare for a walk that’s serene and yet wild.
Sit down, sit back, and taste every word.
Reflect upon all that will change world views.
Meditate deeply upon what’s about to be heard.
Then embrace the new time-line you’re empowered to choose.
And now at long last let the journey begin.
Let the ascendence to a new conscious level unfold.
Now let us shed our mundane earthly sin,
and put mortal faults and shortcomings on hold.
Let the great trip to inner peace start.
Let us rejoice in this transforming day.
Except that I just had a gargantuan mind fart,
and have completely forgotten what I was going to say!
It happens to us seniors. Please pay it no mind.
When my deep thoughts return then we’ll all be reborn.
Until then please try to stay patient and kind.
Or like me just relax and go watch some more porn.
Sorry.
Poet: Lee Goldberg
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Let me tell you something Felix...text speak is very alive and well, and rather unfortunately it is finding its way into "poems" at an alarming rate...
It seems to be extremely popular among younger "poets" and I use that term loosely, from India...for some reason or another...
They seem to find it quite acceptable...much to the chagrin to the rest of us I might add...
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Hey Y'all...I was just passing by and I heard something about free drinks...
Pass me one of them there Mint Tulips...long as Y'all buying, I be drinking all night...I knew there was something about this place I liked, and it sure as Hell ain't the tasteful decor...
Y'all come back now, ya' here...
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
It took me a while to figure out what to do at first, but then looking down at the right...
Like...Smashing Pumpkins, Matchbox 20...
This is too much thinking, too early in the morning here...but, that's a start...
It's these damend glass's.
