"Hello, thank you for coming," I said, stepping up on my soapbox.

I've lived a long enough time to see pot be legal and porn to be free!

Almost 70 and my dick still works; I have almost all my teeth, lots of free time, a big imagination and a long fascination with erotica.

I'm in a fulfilled, but sexless marriage, due to illness, and I don't want to cheat. You get three guesses as to why I am here. I live in the least populated area of Florida by choice.

A.I. pics and porn shown here are a great example of, " If it looks too good to be true, it probably isn't." I hope the fad dies out soon, it's crushing self-esteem and promotes dishonesty, in my opinion. Homemade erotica is the best erotica. I thank all you contributors for that.

I don't have a TV; I threw it away 20 years ago and can't stand to be in the same room as one. Hollywood has turned into a freak show; nothing about it interests me. Keep it all away from me, please, and I'll keep my banjo away from you.

I'm into acoustic music and play several instruments. I have written over 40 songs, and you can find a few of them on soundclick dot com /oryconner.

Most days are spent gardening, smoking pot, telling dad jokes, and taking care of my 2 BBC's (Big Black Canines). If ya gotta know more, just ask. I'll try to answer all, except the stupid and the rude.

I'm going to park this here for a bit until someone explains why the paragraph spacing here gets it fucked up every time I edit it.

Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, she said to the thin air. The air answered back: Never, with that green hair.

"Eat me, eat me, eat me. "She said to the rose. The rose answered back: Never, with that ring in your nose."

"Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me," She said to Mr. Magoo. His daughter (see her nude pic showed up on my wall) answered back: Never, with that swastika tattoo.

Buy me a ring, buy me a ring, buy me a ring. She said to the book.
The book answered back:
Never, go steal one, you rotten crook.

Marry me, marry me, marry me,
She said to the sky.
The sky answered:
Never, you're way too high.

Oh, when will I be loved? She asked the old whore. The wrong guy answered: When you can fit through a door.