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Irish4567
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Irish4567
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More Spreadsheets alert

Following on from the discussion around category versus views etc, I looked at the eight stories I published while the comp was running.
I figured these all all had the same chance of being ignored during the comp rush and were sliding off the front page at the same rate.

I published in eight different categories and you can see that category and title seems to make a difference.

Fucking the Poolboy, the April Fool story from the Fuck Coven attracted massive views.. maybe esoteric titles are not the way to attract views. A title that says exactly what the reader is going to get is more clickable than something arty or pretentious.

Bisexual and Swingers attract a lot lot more eyeballs than Flash, Uniform or Mind Control.

Totally unscientific but there you go.




After all that, can I have a beer please.. pretty please... and falling penises?.. what did I miss?
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Irish4567
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I think it depends on whose story it is. Are we watching it from A's perspective. Do we see A look at B and grin as she sees the jealousy or discomfort in their eyes? If it is an omnipotent global view of everyone, you could jump from person to person, focussing on A's thoughts, then C's, then B's then A's again etc... personally, I think if B gets plonked in the chair to watch and we get a whole sex scene just focussing on A and C, then we don't feel anything for B.

I don't know if that helps. I like writing stories from multiple perspectives so that would be the route I go but yours might be completely different. smile
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Irish4567
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Quote by JamesLlewellyn


Actually, NB, I think it has more to do what category you put your story in. As I was compiling the list, I noticed a huge disparity in views compared to number of comments, and decided that things like "Cheating" and "MILF" automatically get more views than "Humor" or "Horror".

That's not to say that DallasWonderland doesn't have a lot of friends, but if so, they don't write many comments, so I wonder how many of them are real friends.

As for your 2 score – I wouldn't worry overly about that. The judges do look for signs of downscoring, and throw out the East German judges in their assessments.


I didn't realise you were the official mouthpiece of the lush judges.

Rumps, I'll have my beer to go. The sound of pomposity is just a tad grating.
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Irish4567
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Quote by RumpleForeskin
Greetings on this the first day of the Waiting Impatiently for the Winners to be Announced' interim.

Many thanks to James, cleverly disguised as a pocket protector wearing nerd, for the spreadsheet. And please heed his warning in the last paragraph.

IMO, the bottom line is none of those stats will play any decisive role in the selection of winners and the top ten. Nic has always pushed for quality over quantity. Along with the poor souls she's roped into being judges, they might use some of those stats to help make a call along the selection process, but the final decision will be subjective.



I quite agree, Rumps. It is one thing I really like about the Comp process here is that it isn't a popularity contest based on how many friends voted for a particular story.

Views will always be affected by the category the story is in as well. Some categories just naturally attract more readers than others.

Regarding the votes, I've seen some bizarre scores with some 2's on a couple of excellent stories.

So, all in all. I think I'll wait til next Sunday when the results are announced, hopefully without the whinging and moaning that has accompanied some recent comp results. I believe the judges decision is final and we suck it up or enter your stories somewhere else.

Now I'll climb down from this rather precarious soapbox and have a beer.. Cos it's Saturday
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Irish4567
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Quote by Twisted_Skald


A MUNSTER woman!!
Well now Verity that changes everything.
Have your limited edition Munster Rugby jersey.
I boiled it for days to make the colours fade so you'd look proper devoted like.

If ya sit on me lap I'd even shift ya.

Ahem.

Probably meaningless word salad for the non Irish out there, but I'm pretty sure the ones that get the meaning are rolling their eyes as we speak.

Yes..I am a Munster woman. For a while I almost created a cult in honour of the divine trinity.
Paul O'Connell, Ronan O'Gara, and Donnecha O'Callaghan.

We'd walk through fire, concrete walls or the opposing front row for a wink and smile from that lot.
I'd fist fight ya for Ronan's sweaty rugby socks.

Now if you'll excuse me my Barry's tea is getting cold.


I've a feeling there'll be a right load of melarkay going on with a couple of Munster women in the bar. It is nice to hear the local dialect in here. I used the word gulpin the other day and they had to Google it.

Anyway, I've leave you to your Barry's tea. I'd ask Rumps if he stocked Tayto cheese and onion but it could cause another rift over nordie vs free state taytos ?
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Irish4567
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Wanders into the bar.. any chance of a beer.. or several?

Apologies if I haven't read your comp story yet. I'm hoping to get through a fair chunk of them over the next couple of days...

Grabs my beer and heads over to a corner by the fire.
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Irish4567
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Quote by curvygalore
Evening, everyone!

Rumps, I think a beer is in order and one for Susie, please, too!


Cheers, Curvy

Next round is on me

Hope you are enjoying the Bank Holiday weekend.
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Irish4567
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Quote by Green_Man


Hello, lovely ladies. Great job, Cynthia. The coffee smells wonderful. I'll have a cuppa java if I may.

It appears that there are presently 43 entries in the competition. This one was supposed to bring out our "Foolish" writing ideas and it seems everyone tried to do so. However, in doing so I think the viewers did not care for the foolishness we have presented. There are only three authors who have not been downvoted. That would be Violetvixen, Jaymal, and WannabeaWordsmith. Every other author has been scored down, quite far down in some cases. It is an interesting phenomenon. Some stories one would assume could easily sit in the winner's circle have been slammed.

The only reason I mention it is because some writers might think it is a reflection of their talents. Think again. There are simply some trolls ruining your day. Remember that dear writers.

Now to get to reading the rest of the entries.



How can you tell who has been receiving down votes? I thought votes were hidden until the comp closes on the 7th?

Or am I missing something, which wouldn't be the first time
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Irish4567
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Quote by JamesLlewellyn


Next, DeviantSusie has a great new story, which will hopefully become a full-blown (pun intended) series, in which an au pair finds herself caught between the mistress and master of the house – with stiffening effect!
Émily's New Job


Thank you for the shot out James. I can't believe it took me until now to write a bisexual story Have a beer on me

Anyway.. it's almost the weekend... yeah? I'll have a beer anyway or maybe two since one looks lonely on it's own...

And line one up for her Curviness

Me.. I'm gonna try and do some writing.. apparently there is a comp on.

S'later everyone
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Irish4567
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Quote by RumpleForeskin
Greetings on this glorious Hump Day. While I'm sure every true-blue Rumplator has been worrying about my missing-inaction,I'm now back so feel free to shift into serious worrying gear.

And why, you ask, has this calamity befalling we, the poor, the impoverished, the broke writers of the porn? Well, let me tell ya, it's like this.

A few minutes ago, I submitted a 3K story to the 'Foolish' contest. Granted that was a horrible thing to do to some unsuspecting, overworked, frazzled moderator. But I'm told they are a brave, hardy group so maybe verifying my poor pitiful prose won't cause permanent mental damage.

Now to business. Whadda y'all wanna drink? James is picking up the tab for this round on account as how he's the foul fiend who crammed all the trash under the corner table.



Welcome back, Rumps.

I'm in awe of you. I still haven't managed to write anything for the competition.. still there's plenty of time left.. right.. right??

In the meantime I'll have a beer, since it is Wednesday

and you might as well line one up for Curvy too, in case she pops in

Looking forward to reading your story and the other entries as soon as I get my own one in
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Irish4567
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I'll have a strong black coffee if BB is up for it.. Its cold out there.. Been snowing on and off today.. Bloody climate change ?

I've started 3 different stories for the competition, but not feeling the love with any of them. Maybe inspiration will strike as I watch the ape and the polar bear discuss Latin.. My only memories of Latin come from the life of Brian, as starbellirdboy portrayed in his cracker story recently.. Some might say I'm more of a veni, veni, veni girl myself ?
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Irish4567
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Quote by Caramel_Infidel
Well, it looks like I’m first on the board.

I hope this competition doesn’t dissuade too many people. Last time, we had a lot more entries five days in {25 → February 3-7, 2021}.

Maybe people are confused by the word count. Just know that 5,000 is the maximum. My entry came in at 2,048 words, nearly 3,000 less than I could have used (but didn't need).

I want to see many more writers’ takes on this topic.


There's a bit of a difference between writing a 100 to 200 word poem and a 5000 word story with plot, character development, narrative arc etc. I think you'll find the stories will roll in. It's a long way to the 7th May deadline.
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Irish4567
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Morning everyone.. I've been missing the banter in here lately.. Real life getting in the way. Those posts on word counting and reading the story back are really useful, thanks Rumps, Curvy and Carlton.

It's trying to snow here today. Funnily enough I read that you are more likely to get snow at Easter in Ireland than at Christmas. So with that thought I'm going to take my coffee over to a seat by the fire and try and write something. ☕
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Irish4567
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Quote by techgoddess


Thanks so much! But I do all my own typing, James. I've just been working madly at finishing stories in all 57 categories for my Omnium Badge. Redheads Have More Fun has been verified and will make the front page in a couple of hours. Now I just need to wait for the badge to appear on my profile.



Congratulations Kat.. that's fantastic. well done. Let me buy you a drink..

Hope everyone is well... I've been a bit absent lately.. real life and all that.
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Irish4567
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Quote by curvygalore
Happy Saint Patrick's Day, all! Although it will be quieter than usual.

I'll have a coffee please, with a splash of Carl's Jameson's stash!

James and Rumps, Verbal is taking an extended break from Lush. Hope we hear from Kimmi soon!


That sounds just the coffee I need on a crisp cold St Patrick's Day..

Cheers Curvy .. The pubs are shut here so very quiet and with the 5km limit, not even a beach walk..

Hope everyone has a fun day, whatever or whoever you get up to... Sláinte
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Irish4567
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Quote by sprite

hope everyone enjoys their weekend. we're working our way through all the big movies that will probably be nommed for Oscars. Last night was Trial of the Chicago 7. SO good and it makes a great back to back with Judas and the Black Messiah which occurred during the same period of time and is the story of the execution (i use that word purposefully) of Fred Hampton.


We watched Trial of the Chicago 7 last night too.. amazing film if not quite depressing but funny too.. going for a light-hearted Scottish film tonight called Only You about two people who hook up after fighting over a taxi.. takes all sorts I guess lol
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Irish4567
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Quote by curvygalore


I'm *not* laughing! Hope you get a good night's sleep tonight. Let you buy me you a pint to celebrate your Prolific Author Badge. Congratulations, Susie! Pints, please, Rumps!



Cheers I did get a great nights uninterrupted sleep.. survived a very wet windy cold Saturday too so i think it's beer time now..

Quote by techgoddess


That is hilarious! You should write a story about that!!

Congrats on your PW badge! Welcome to the club! Put your beer on my tab when you come back!

I'm currently four categories shy of the Omnium badge. I have all four stories started, just need to finish them.


That's so good.. I'm struggling with a few of the remaining categories but it's a real challenge, writing in so many different genres. Good luck with the final push.. cheers for the drink ?
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Irish4567
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Morning all.. I need a coffee.. ☕
Woke up in the middle of the night with a dreadful humming coming from somewhere.. After half an hour searching, checking attic for pipes, electrics, couldn't find where it was coming from.. Until discovered my vibrator had decided to turn itself on and was merrily humming away in the drawer under the bed
So I now have a possessed vibe.. ?
Thank god its almost the weekend.
I'll be back later for a beer to celebrate getting the Prolific Author badge
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Irish4567
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Hi Kimmi, that's a really interesting question.
I hadn't really thought about it until I published my cuckold story and some of the responses really made me think.
I'd created a scheming manipulative wife who cheated on a loving husband and father and rubbed his nose in her affair.
I had an element of domestic violence which some people felt condoned her action but it really threw me how it affected people.

So I think we do bear some responsibility..not that we should sanitise our stories or that we should change them.. My story is written and published and shall remain there. I'm not one for sanitising the past. However, I think we have to accept that some people can't tell fact from fiction.
I had several long conversations about that story with a close friend, whose reaction I really hadn't expected. So I think we should be open to dialogue over our stories, above and beyond just responses to comments.
I wouldn't go so far as to say we bear some responsibility if our story incited someone to do something. That way, censorship lies.

I don't know if I answered your question, sorry ?
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Irish4567
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Quote by curvygalore


That really made me laugh, Susie! I loved Violet's story too.

And you have been turning out fabulous stories like clockwork in the past couple of months. I think you need a beer!

Line up the pints, please, Rumps!


Cheers, Curvy

next round's on me.


Quote by RumpleForeskin
LUSH has a new member: The Winged Insect. She has posted a story which should be on the main page.

Thought most Rumplationists, especially, Emma, might find that info interesting. ;)

It's 79f out here in the desert. Think I'll grab some sweet iced tea, toss in a shot or two of our own, Verisimilitude Vodka: the despair of Valdosta, grab whatever goodies are still around and go sit out on the back porch/beer garden and wallow in the warmth.

Anybody want a drink or two? If so, ya want a double or triple?



Definitely a good shout, Bill.

Here's the link to The Winged Insect's story

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/first-time/-moving-into-my-own-place-.aspx
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Irish4567
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Lonely Werewolf Girl is the first of a trilogy by Scottish author Martin Miller about Kalix MacRinnalch, a laudanum-addicted, socially-anxious, anorexic, bipolar werewolf
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Irish4567
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Quote by Twisted_Skald
Violet has produced her newest work, I'm listing it here.

Violets new story


It has earned an RR and it's well worth a read.
I don't know where she gets her inspirations from, it certainly scared the heck out of my pencil that quite deliberately rolled under the table to hide.
It certainly made me rethink a whole lot of what I was working on.
Be brave, bring a blanket and read it if you dare.

Now if anyone wants me I'm trying to get my pencil to come back so I can attempt to write.


Violet's story rocks.. it brings a new definition to the term Period Drama ?

Me, I'm struggling to get my latest story finished but as was pointed out to me earlier, I've published almost a story a week since Christmas so maybe I'm due a break and a lie down.. or maybe I just take a coffee and one of those doughnuts and chill out by the fire.... you do still have the fire lit.. It's cold here today, spring may be about to spring but it ain't sprung yet.

Wednesday, so if you close your eyes, you might just sniff the first hint of the weekend... ☕️
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Irish4567
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Quote by JamesLlewellyn


Hi Susie! Great to see you here. And I gave up working as an employee quite some time ago, and that's one of the reasons why. It's especially irritating when your boss dumps multiple jobs on you, and says they are ALL priority. I decided that anything that reached me that way automatically went to the bottom of the pile! I've worked for myself for years now, and while there's much less security, there is much more satisfaction.

A tea, please, hot; Earl Grey, in my to-go mug, Michelle. Gotta get some work done sometime…


Hi James. Yes I was keeping a low profile for a few weeks there, but hopefully now we are in March and Spring appears to be on its way, I'm intending frequenting this place a lot more again.

It's probably bad to drink while still at work but you know what, it is Monday after all.. I'll have a beer
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Irish4567
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Walks into the bar.. Hey Michelle.. what's new, pussycat?

Me, I'd like a strong cup of coffee... two sugars please while I moan about my boss and her propensity to dump work on me at the last minute. Fuck it, I'll just relax here a little and enjoy the tunes
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Irish4567
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Quote by IMPÜRETHOUGHTS


THE CRAMPS, THE DAMNED, KILLING JOKE, MINISTRY and many more.



You had such cool parents
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Irish4567
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We had Beatles and Everly Brothers albums on the record player a lot. Cassette tapes in the car for long journeys had a lot of 1960s mix tapes..
"Keep your eyes on the road and your hands on the wheel" was a lyric I still remember from those times
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Irish4567
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Quote by PJH


Maybe I need to hear the long answer too because what I tried did not seem to work although I am probably not doing it correctly.

The story I tried it on was one entitled 'His Sister's School Uniform' and I went to edit it, I typed 'Christopher' in as the series title and then clicked on (I believe) update published story but nothing seems to have happened. What am I doing wrong please?


Did you click the box 'Group the linked stories as chapters of this story' and then give the story the title, then continue, then click update?
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