I think if I wrote about things I didn't know about, I would know, which would matter to me far more than being 'caught out' by someone who sensed that was the case. If it's something written intending to make fun of my lack of knowledge about something, I'll do that through humour and let my bungling character make it obvious he/I haven't got a clue. Using your opening quote, I'd then be not taking myself too seriously...and I do know a fair bit about that!

Quote by UnchainedLioness

One of the first things you're told as a writer is "write what you know".

Obviously that doesn't mean you can only write what you've personally done, but broad sexual experiences help to bring in the details that most people don't think about.

And well... I'm a bisexual woman what had a real slutty phase and is now in a strong, but very open, relationship. So... very broad experiences.

Oh, BOOTS...I think I'd better make that appointment with the optician.🙄

Quote by RowanThorn

Congrats all! It was fun to see all the variations on the theme!

Not to mention the variations that didn't make the cut...😇

Well done to all. If those who entered had as much fun as I did writing, you'd have won your prize already.

Quote by deviantsusie

I don't mean the category was created to cater for the Omniums, I meant that the only people who seem to write in that category are those going for Omnium because you have to write in them all. Sometimes if I'm feeling bored, I will change the category of a story as lots of stories can fit into different categories. A nurse has a lesbian affair - oooh.. does that go in lesbian, or medical, or cheating, or occupations or uniforms.. is it a sub/Domme affair so could it go in yada yada yada.. you get the picture, so pick a category and don't worry any more about it.

I knew you didn't mean that. It's just me expressing myself poorly! What I probably meant is if the category disappeared, people would still find stories of interest to them through tags, one-liners, etc. Writers can also still retain the satisfaction of having written in every available category, be that 5, 10, or 20. I'm sure the numbers hoping to find what they're looking for exceeds that of those wanting to write a bit of everything.

Quote by deviantsusie

Face sitting was introduced a few years back to almost universal indifference. No one knows why it was singled out. I think its mainly omniums in there... same as to why a strapon isnt a toy, uniforms are separate from occupations, while a nurse can be medical, uniform and occupation... why is wife lover different from cheating or cuckold and why isnt monster sex part of fantasy or supernatural

I understand categories help people to find stories they are interested in more easily. I'm not sure keeping some just for a small number of people who want to have written a story about 'everything' is justified. (They won't have in reality, of course, but that's no bad thing in my book.) Even what something is 'about' is subjective to a degree, and not always because 60% of it is about 'x', and 40% about 'y'.

Quote by sprite

i have the same issue with our cat.

Me too with the dog and she's ten, so should know better!

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/flash-erotica/alternative-route

Me and my wonky brain made it to 100! 😀

Quote by JamesLlewellyn

And…

I've posted a congratulatory message for Kat.

Let me invite all Rumpies (and lesser mortals) to say something witty and nice to honour her!

Congratulations Kat!

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

We were doing that before it became fashionable.❤️

Quote by fuzzy1954

Maybe my music shut down our site

😃😃😃😃😃😃

Probably the hamster falling off his wheel again. Hammy managed to shut almost all of London's underground for a while already this week. so he's been busy

At least I can READ some; now my modest effort is done!😊

I can't think of anything I give less thought to. Apologies to anyone affected, but if your name ends in 's', you probably get less of a look-in, as I find possessives for you in English so clumsy. ( My hang up, not yours, so sorry to any 'end in 's' people out there.),

Quote by sprite

guess he wasn't interested in sticking around and and having a debate.

Having stumbled across what I assume is being referred to while mid-creativity, I'm delighted it has disappeared. Attention-seeking for the sake of it isn't something I can resist calling out for long, and it would probably have been me who would have ended up getting my wrist slapped for perhaps calling it something else.

>>>opens 70's joke vault.

What do you get if you pour steaming coffee down a rabbit hole?

A hot. cross, bunny.

Quote by KimmiBeGood

It was a dark and stormy night…

…and my umbrella was shit.

"and if that wasn't bad enough, I had to use my other hand to wring out my nightie, Definition of a wash-out!"

Rain "At least I know stripey knickers are part of the challenge," Geoff said, rising in more ways than one to Bella's hands-free challenge whilst looking through her drenched dress.

"Slippery zebra time!" Bella replied.

As Geoff's head slipped beneath Bella's hem, the rain matched the wetness inside her body.

Geoff's teeth pulled Bella's briefs down, and he sucked her wildly to climax.

Trafalgar Square never felt the same again.

Quote by techgoddess

Thanks! Yes, we did. And if Kevin hadn't done all that he did this week, we'd have been delayed another week or two. We couldn't let that happen. There was so much joy today. It felt good to see my backyard alive again!

Fans of the good old-fashioned double entendre are thrilled to know your backyard is alive and never expected anything less.😇

Quote by techgoddess

We must speak of this sounding tech in your head sometime.

Thanks. Will keep my Rumpie friends posted. 🥰

No, seriously...! (I know what they look like out of context...AND skulls!) 🙄

Quote by techgoddess

Stopping in for one of those Coke Zeros - thanks Bear!

As much as I dislike having to be on MethylPrednisolone again, today is the first day in 10 days that I didn’t wake up with a headache that felt like an ice pick being jammed above my right eye. I’m hopeful!

Fingers crossed, today that all the last odds and ends get completed so we can officially open the pool tomorrow. It’s been closed since the storm surge from Hurricane Helene last September 26th (23 weeks and 3 days ago). What a journey it has been. There is still so much to do, but it’s been a constant stream of contractors these past 2 weeks which has been wonderful to see. The concrete work is finished, the new lawn irrigation system is about half installed, the new pool furniture is here (I’m overseeing the placement of the 30 loungers and 24 chairs I ordered before Christmas that finally arrived last week), and the temporary fence with a gate is in place thanks to my wonderful hubby who stepped up when no contractor was available to build it. Praying for good weather tomorrow. I’d love to be able to take my brother for a swim without having to traipse over to the condo two places to the south of us. He’s been watching the progress every day and saying, “Pretty soon.”

Well that is all I have to babble about. But if any guy is feeling baffled about how to add a little spice to the sex life or how to get the Mrs. in the mood, check out my latest story, Dear Mistress Kat (link in my signature bar below). Thanks! 💋

TGIF all y’all!

Ice-pick in the eye? Yes, I know that one! ( although the sci-fi sounding tech in my head keeps me ice-pick free whilst it continues to do its mad miracles.) Fingers xd

I do understand that some things appeal to others that will never appeal to me. It would be a dull world otherwise...HOWEVER, I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone believes anyone gains anything from the numbers game.

"They took 1.4 seconds to climb the 3 feet into the six foot six bed, He caressed her with his 5 inch fingers, his 4 inch thumb poised..." How statistical! ( and decimal-pointless)

Quote by techgoddess

I prefer to weave descriptors into the story.

He cupped her voluptuous breasts.

rather than

She had 40 DD cup breasts that he liked to squeeze.

Quote by KimmiBeGood

Yup, unless you’ve verified by real-time video or phone, or know someone you trust who can vouch for the person, you never REALLY know who you are talking to on here.

You don't; you're right. This said, if someone's a time-water, wasting time confirming it seems a waste of time! If you stick to your principles of what you do and don't divulge, few with sinister motives would invest the time and effort needed to allow you to reveal more of yourself than you might.

I'm perfectly happy with who knows me better than others hereabouts and have never had a reason to suggest I've made an error of judgement on that. If I ever did, it would be my own fault, but you can be cautious without overdoing the cautious bit. I'm far more reserved than some on here, but that's my choice and one I can be flexible about, depending on how someone comes across. If I get it wrong, so be it, but I've not done anything that puts anyone, including me, at risk. It's about managing what you share sensibly; at least it is for me.

Some stories simply don't seem right if they are worked to satisfy what we think people here expect and want. If sex only makes sense with what goes with it, then it appears when the story demands it. This is one of the pitfalls of publishing a chapter at a time, too, as some might have nothing people define as erotic in an entire one. Just a thought, but perhaps it's actually a short story you have in your head and the need to 'explain' why there's no sex actually makes it far longer than it actually needs to be/ should be? Posing the question as a thought-provoker, not a criticism, or as an expert.

Fruity tart? You never normally get those here,

Quote by techgoddess

Wonders if you need anyone to lap up the chocolate… 😉👅

I'm always worried when I see a phrase like that and wonder if it's 'in crowd' code, and I'm just naive and missing out on the truth behind the offer!😊

Counted to 10--- failed.

Counted to 100- still not enough... but gave up trying to bite my tongue.

Questions for the impatiently deluded:

Are you familiar with the concept of workloads?

Are you aware that people give up time to do what you want quickly?

Are you aware that for every outspoken and impatient person, there might be ten with better manners?

I'm aware the world doesn't revolve around me. I feel blessed.

You're welcome.

Quote by Seeker4

There's a difference? I just thought an author was someone who writes stuff. Putting on airs and pretending you're a "great artiste who needs no help or feedback" isn't being an author. It's being another word that starts with "a" (7 letters if you need more of a hint).

It has eight where I come from, but that's the Atlantic ocean for you!😇

Quote by techgoddess

Last month was awful weather-wise here. Florida is not supposed to have multiple days of 40-degree F weather. 😳😕

It should be a lovely visit for Bear and Lady Jay!

Sadly, now that our weather is nice again, the pool opening keeps getting delayed. I'm looking at March 3 now. 😢 I see people getting in the Gulf, but it's a bit chilly for me quite yet. I may put my feet in this afternoon—might even go in up to my knees—but that's about it for me this time of year.

Modding is thirsty work...especially when authors don't like my feedback on how to fix things. I'll have a Coke Zero please, and thanks!

You lost me at 'Authors don't like my feedback on how to fix things,' but then I remembered I'm not an author; I just write stuff, which must explain why I'm so grateful for it all.

Quote by KimmiBeGood

Seven days left!

Flex that big poetry muscle! 😎

Immortalize a loved one with a poem! ❤️

I actually have no clue as to the rules of poetry or its fucking punctuation, but maybe there are no rules. I just know I’ve read some entries that affected me in a very nice way!

Best wishes to all who entered! 😘

I wish someone had told me fucking has its own grammar rules. Never too late to learn though and I'll do some research. (on the punctuation, not the fucking, sadly.) 🤣

Quote by KimmiBeGood

Morning, Rumpies!

Just dropping off some chocolate buns on my way to work. Enjoy!

Another delivery messed up by autocorrect; I was looking forward to my Coq au vin too!

Glad to have been able to put my modest effort out there, Sometimes it isn't the expertise with which you do something that matters, it is the feeling you did it for the right reasons that counts.