Never have I ever looked at at a vacuum cleaner and thought 'What if I...'

What is the most unusual item you find erotic.

Best in terms of random/unexpected...Went to meet on old fashioned 'pen pal' type friend in person for her birthday. Just about got the 'birthday' out and was grabbed by a woman who said her friend wanted to dance, Sixteen hours later, her friend was running me back into town in her car from her (flat, I think!), I was rather ashamed of my behaviour and phoned my pen pal to apologise, She couldn't stop laughing, teased me mercilessly and she reckoned seeing me get pounced on made it her best birthday for years, I didn't think I was the 'type' to be selected for such debauchery....and still don't!

That's a lovely comment and summarises what I try to do perfectly, Thank you,

My goals? Not intentionally different just to stand out, but I suspect they may not be the same as those of many others here!

1. To keep the parts of my brain that still function after the latest surgery on it active.

2. To work hard to achieve something and do so reaching the required standard.

3, To demonstrate and celebrate that my imagination is unaffected by events in the way other skills have been.

4. To improve and to feel happy when help, encouragement and positive comment is offered.

5. To enjoy what I do and do it to the best of my ability.

6. To bring a smile to the face of someone reading my stories.

....Well, you DID ask!

How dull would life be if we all liked the same thing? My experience in the real world limits what I feel I can include in my writing, It does so according to my 'rules' for me and is no criticism of anyone who does differently. Killing the beast of a bad experience was a part of my latest, beginner-level effort, which I have never experienced, but the act involved and the consequences of betrayal are, just not at the same time. I love to see the opinion and variety that is out there, but I'm comfortable with what I write and not looking to expand my horizons, I might seem boring, conventional and timid to some, which is fine, as I'm also happy!

Today, I managed to get something to the level required to be accepted, To many, that's run of the mill, but with a brain injury, even the ordinary can be a challenge, The site's reviewers are fair, reasonable and helpful and I would never want to be judged differently to anyone else, Some, quite reasonably, will look for plaudits, awards, likes, reads etc, to determine their success, They are right to do what counts for them. If they're as happy as I am to have reached my goal when they reach theirs, they'll have as big a smile as I have right now,

Time may be a great healer, but so is penicillin,

Roses are red,

But I holler "They ain't,"

Whilst turning them blue

With a lick of fresh paint.

Tots of rum are not as good as a long squeeze together, if caught under-dressed outside in the Winter,

Quote by Just_A_Guy_You_Know

In my opinion, the thing that draws me through a story isn't so much figuring out how it will end (it's erotic fiction - it's going to end in sex 99 times out of 100), but how the characters get there. In other words, I tend to focus more on establishing the circumstances and relationship between characters, building the tension to a point where the conclusion is inevitable. The sex at the end of the story is the payoff, but the payoff doesn't mean too much unless the characters have to work for it, to overcome some challenge or resistance that's keeping them apart. When the work has been done and the characters receive their reward, the story ends. I don't do sequels usually - they're too predictable and have too little tension left in them to be interesting. A story that spends too much time in 'happily ever after' gets tiresome and quickly overstays its welcome.

I'm a near novice and not ashamed to say that. With that caveat established, I would dare to suggest that some of the accepted norms of writing a story may not be as set in stone in this environment as elsewhere. ( The 99/100 statistic above being a big clue.)

Yes, you can have an unexpected twist in a story, but even that would need people reading it investing in the characters enough to care.

People can, of course, treat putting a story together like those here in exactly the same way as they would any other, but holding certain conventions dear when they're, at best, over the top, might do more harm than good.

Else was a fictional surname used when playing in professional sport as an amateur to avoid being banned. Someone Else and AN Other were both names I played under. A true story, folks.

Passages is almost as useless as the word 'orange' is for rhyming purposes.

If those who think the size of things is important stick together with those who think the same and those who don't believe it matters do similarly, we'll all get along fine, I'm sure. 😊

Even where you were born can make a difference to how you view and use a word. 100 % true, by the way,

I don't use the word and wouldn't when writing, This is, however, my choice and reflects my views, If someone was using it in dialogue in a story, I can see situations where it might convey a sense of urgency, frustration or desperation and be appropriate. As is the case with many things, if it's not my thing, that doesn't make it wrong, it's just not right for me.

Living in staff accommodation, whilst working in health care, the sight of my fellow trainees and friends naked stopped being a novelty very quickly. We gents were still outnumbered 20: 1 in the late 1980's, although knocking on the door of a sleeping gent's flashing at us when returning home from an occasional 'girly' night out was a kind of routine homecoming part of it.

Roses are red,

If read, they'd be news,

Homophone heaven,

Like crews on the cruise.

I suppose it depends on what you're looking to achieve and how important it is to you. A badge, writing outside your comfort zone, a sense of pride in an ability to rise to a challenge, Some, all, or none of these might apply to you, but any reason would be your reason, which makes it right, I could only write in a small number of categories, but I'm as happy with doing that as those who want to cover a broad spectrum, whatever the driving force is behind the choices made. Good luck in getting where you'd like to be.

Rating experiences here should be scored using the measuring unit called 'mmm'.

Since becoming an 'adult' at the beginning of the 80's , I've shared beds with both female and male friends and with a female stranger in the rip off that was Venice who I'd met on the train and who thought the prices for a single were a joke. The only connection I make with any of this and sex is that a bed was involved, I'm sure others might think similarly.

Awesome AND awkward, as I recall!

All sorted and up on the site. Now I can focus on getting a longer piece I have put together finalised. Magnifying those punctuation marks to make sure a comma that was meant to be a full stop hasn't slipped through, or I haven't left a space where I shouldn't have done. It's a challenge, but I'll give it a go.

Please ignore the above query, as now resolved !😊

DISCLAIMER!

This query does not belong here, but I can't find the right place anywhere, I apologise, but I'm stuck,

Because I've never done it before, I wrote a 100 word or less piece, simply to give it a go. It had feedback stating a couple of things had been 'fixed', but still appears to be ' pending '

New to this, the last thing I want to do is bother admins who go to great pains to help you, or appear ungrateful / pushy, but i appear to be 'stuck' and cannot put anything else out there, whilst this is outstanding.

It's not a big issue, I do this to help my brain after surgery, but if someone stumbles across this and can assist in any way, I'd be grateful.

Repeated apologies for not knowing where this belongs, forum-wise, but as this topic relates to authors, I thought someone might have some advice.

Thank you.

Lapdoodle provided the missing rhyming piece and with it, his limerick about Chinese food play was finished quickly.

Quote by Georgia_27_8

I just want to be able to stand up to pee. Just once.

As fantasy and justification goes, that's spectacular and puts mine of discovering I can trigger a breathtaking climax to anyone who wants it just by saying the words ' breathtaking climax' firmly in the shade!

Getting to the end of a day calamity free.

Would you believe someone who said they're happy and just here for escapism and bringing a smile, or would you be cynical and wonder how long it would take for them to show their 'real' aim of being here?

A lady I know in New Delhi

Likes putting all sorts on her belly,

From toys that are faulty

and sticky and salty

To worn underwear that is smelly.

I notice things, it's when I try to work out what they are that the trouble starts,,,