Kornpopper's Forum Posts

9 Sep 2011

Quote by Dancing_Doll
Quote by Kornpopper

Finding your partner is like searching for a needle in a haystack. That needle can not be found if your using a pitch fork to look through the pile. You have to look at each strand of straw before you find the needle, otherwise you risk throwing away that one person who may be the perfect match. This is why I said in my previous post to honor all potential partners with a conversation. That shy guy may be the perfect guy even though he doesn't know what to say when he approaches you.

I agree with your entire post, except for this line (in the general sense). A lot of men on the singles scene judge women as snobby/bitchy or too 'high on herself' because she is dismissive or selective with who she talks to when approached. I totally appreciate that fear of rejection is very much a part of a guy's psyche when he makes the first approach. But... Guys don't know what it's like to be a woman in a bar or club where you get hit on every 5 minutes and have strange men trying to stop you or grab your arm as you move through a packed dancefloor trying to get to the bathroom. If a woman stopped to acknowledge/talk to every guy that hit on her, her entire night would be blitzed by trying to be polite and give every "potential partner" a chance. That's why a lot of girls end up going to gay clubs when they just want to dance and not be bothered by guys. I'm going to stick up for the girls at the bar who are getting judged as vain, egotistical bitches because they are ignoring 90% of the guys that hit on them. That's not to say that being rude is justified either, but in general women tend to have their guard up in social situations. There might be a 'perfect' shy/introverted guy in the crowd but there is a very tiny window of opportunity to make an impression on that scene.

Having said that, the introvert/anti-social type guys are probably going to do better outside the typical meet market places. And they are probably going to be better suited to a girl that matches their social style to some general degree.

I should clarify that. I don't mean to come off as condescending, so what I meant to say is a potential partner is someone who is kind, respectful, open, and honest(at least in my eyes). I agree with you as it would be hard for a woman in a club who gets hit on every minute to give everyone a chance. If some guy grabs her arm or stops her to get her attention then he needs a knee to the groin! Guys like that give the good ones a bad rap. That is no way respectful or the polite way to approach a woman. If she knows in the first few seconds that he is a good person then by all means have the conversation, even if it is just a short one lasting only a minute or two.

In my eyes those snobby/bitchy women are the ones just looking to get a free drink from the guy who wants to buy her one and then chase them off.

And yes I agree with you that it would be better to meet those women with the same social style as you. It is also so much harder for the introverted people to meet others if they do not like to go out for the night.