Quote by Magical_felix
It's getting really close to becoming a site.
In my defence, I was epic stoned when I let Alfie post that poem using my Lush account.
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Liz
Over 90 days ago
Moderator
Lesbian Female, 32
0 miles · England
Forum
Scarlet Seductress
Bone No More
I would hump your leg at breakfast
When you'd eat your piece of toast
The table would be shaking
As if haunted by a ghost
I'd hump the postman next
Although he always tried to run
He never made it to the gate
Before I bit his bum
I humped the local vicar once
When he came round for tea
"Good Lord!" he shrieked in horror
As I made it with his knee
I've humped a British Gas man
And got fruity with a nun
I even humped a circus clown
But that was just for fun
I've humped the sofa ragged
And the coat stand in the hall
But I don't hump things anymore
'cause now I've got no balls.
- Alfie
(My mum's Labrador)
I would hump your leg at breakfast
When you'd eat your piece of toast
The table would be shaking
As if haunted by a ghost
I'd hump the postman next
Although he always tried to run
He never made it to the gate
Before I bit his bum
I humped the local vicar once
When he came round for tea
"Good Lord!" he shrieked in horror
As I made it with his knee
I've humped a British Gas man
And got fruity with a nun
I even humped a circus clown
But that was just for fun
I've humped the sofa ragged
And the coat stand in the hall
But I don't hump things anymore
'cause now I've got no balls.
- Alfie
(My mum's Labrador)
Scarlet Seductress
Please use this thread, otherwise we'll have loads of them popping for Nicola's birthday. 
https://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst44645_IT39S-THE-BOSS39S-BIRTHDAY-HAPPY-BIRTHDAY-MOM-NICOLA-IS-39.aspx
Thanks!
L x
https://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst44645_IT39S-THE-BOSS39S-BIRTHDAY-HAPPY-BIRTHDAY-MOM-NICOLA-IS-39.aspx
Thanks!
L x
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by Magical_felix
I said my bad, what the fuck bruh? I am starting to think weavindreams isn't kidding in his posts.
Quote by Weavindreams
More needless bull shit as I AM SURE that whatever else you are, even you are not THAT stupid. You KNOW damned good and well that I haven't been kidding about any of what I've said from the instant you first saw fit to start this nonsense.
Enough, please.
Don't make me get Sprite in here - her method of conflict resolution involves a baseball bat.
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by chicamala
Thank you so much... I should of just stood quiet... and let the Marines do their Job... lol but all the clicks from this site helped push me over ...
Marines?
Congratulations on your win! And well done to Mysteria and Annie - you all put a stellar effort in with your whoring, lol.
Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by Magical_felix
You really exceeded any expectations that I had when you first mentioned you were making a promotional video. That was really well done dude. The music was perfect, what porn music should sound like. I also watched it several times and slowed it down to make sure I caught all the references to members and stories. The only one I didn't recognize was the quote "You're gonna take like a champ now, he muttered."
You tube will probably take it down because of the nipples and the fucking... You should cut a clean version with everything intact except the nips and fucking for posting on social media.
Awesome job SP.
I did this, too. Your 'big butts' post made me laugh.
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by TMolotov
My question, when choosing a category, do you choose based on where it should go, natural to story, or where it will get more views?
The category you choose to submit your story into should be the one most relevant to your storyline. It's just a case of using a bit of common sense really.
People who submit stories into unrelated/irrelevant categories will usually find that the moderator will change this prior to approving it.
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by lafayettemister
Bring back the page selector on the home page. Having to scroll one by one through pages 1, 2, 3, 4, .... 8 to get to page 10 (or whatever) is tedious.
Quote by VanGogh
I agree and said so when Gav told us he was going to disable those page numbers. There's not many of us who use the page thingy, apparently.
(dare I say we are old-school, LFM?)
Van
Surely it is just as easy to type the page number you want into the browser address bar?
Once you click onto the second page, the url looks like this:
[code]https://www.lushstories.com/?page=2[/code]
Just change the number to whatever page you want to go to, e.g.
[code]https://www.lushstories.com/?page=37[/code]
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by EricRhodes
Definitely burnt! Plus it has pepperoni on it, yuk! My favorite is Pizza Margherita...thin crust topped with Roma tomatoes, fresh mozzarella, fresh basil leaves, olive oil and freshly cracked black pepper. If it is baked in a wood fired oven, even better. Yum!
.
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by LarsKaiden
I've been trying to post my ebook (on Amazon) here on Lush, but I keep getting an error message "Unable to parse image from url". Can someone please help?
Thanks,
Lars.
*thread moved to help desk*
Sorry to hear you're having some trouble posting your story.
Are you copying and pasting the plain text into our story submit screen?
Could you give us an exact step by step of what you are doing when the error appears? Can't say it is one I have come across before.
Thanks.
