I'm slippery as fuck
when I give you a suck
Down on my knees
eager to please
But use some lube
all over your tube
and slide it between my boobs.
Challenge - senior sex
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Liz
Over 90 days ago
Moderator
Lesbian Female, 32
0 miles · England
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Scarlet Seductress
The FIRST idea I had when I started reading this was to electrify the tiles! 
Beat me to it, damn!
The next that came to mind would be putting a little poster in the window - a couple of women laughing with a caption like:
"That is the smallest one I have ever seen!"
Might put them off
Beat me to it, damn!
The next that came to mind would be putting a little poster in the window - a couple of women laughing with a caption like:
"That is the smallest one I have ever seen!"
Might put them off
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by sprite
I asked Gav about that a while back. he said it's got something to do with the trained miniature elephants inside my computer. at the time, i didn't question it, but now, well... i've been stuffing peanuts into my hard drive for a few months now and, of course, keeping a thumble of water in there for them and... either he's been feeding me a story, or they died...
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by clum
I'm curious about the notification you get when you've been quoted.
Is it triggered by someone clicking the "Quote" button of your reply or is it triggered by the stringQuote by username
Quoted text.[/ quote]?
I would assume that the 'Quote' button just runs the script to post a reply, then dumps the other users text into the window, inside those pre-defined tags.
I might be wrong, but it's probably the string that triggers the notification.
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by Necho
...my mission is to see the world!
Hi Necho, Ditto!
I've been a travel bug for the past couple of years, mainly around Europe but I went to Borneo last year.
That was an amazing experience!
A culture shock to be sure but highly recommended for something a little different.
http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst28995_MY-GUIDE-TO-AMSTERDAM--You-won39t-find-this-in-the-travel-books.aspx
I wrote a funny travel musing on Amsterdam about a month ago which you might like, apologies for the shameless plug
I also visited several sites associated with the second world war last year including the Somme battlefields, Berlin Wall and Auschwitz concentration camp in Poland. Having an interest in human history, these were all powerful experiences and something a little 'out of the ordinary' tourism-wise.
Your 'Sunset in Phuket' photo on your profile is fantastic btw!
The Far East is next on my travel bucket list.
I am a photographer myself, anyone on my friends list can see my travel shots portfolio, mainly from France, Spain, Germany and Greece.
More to be added soon...
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by clum
I MEANT... that would be a high-quality story line for Eastenders, not that Eastenders is a high-quality show.
Jeez. And do you call me Rain Man because I do maths or because you think I'm autistic?
Just imagine you shuffling about in a beige jacket
Purely as a sign of affection Mr. C
I could change it if you want?
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, its Algebra Man!
Scarlet Seductress
I'm actually going to give this a go tonight 
Shopping for the ingredients later.
Jamie Oliver's Mustard Chicken and Black Forest Affogato
INGREDIENTS
For the dauphinoise
1 red onion
1kg Maris Piper potatoes
1 nutmeg
2 cloves of garlic
1 x 300ml tub of single cream
4 anchovies in oil
Parmesan cheese
2 bay leaves
Very small bunch of fresh thyme
For the seasonings
Olive oil
Extra virgin olive oil
Sea salt and black pepper
For the chicken
Few sprigs of fresh rosemary
4 x 180g chicken breasts, skin on
4 tsp Colman’s mustard powder
3 baby leeks or 1 large leek
4 cloves of garlic
White wine
75ml single cream (taken from cream for dauphinoise)
1 heaped tsp wholegrain mustard
For the greens
200g Swiss chard or other greens
1 x 200g bag of prewashed baby spinach
1 lemon
For the affogato
1 tbsp instant coffee (or you could use 4–6 shots of espresso)
3 tsp golden caster sugar
4–6 round shortbread biscuits
1 x 425g tin of pitted black cherries in juice
1 x 100g bar of good-quality dark chocolate (70% cocoa solids)
1 x 500g tub of good-quality vanilla
Ice cream
METHOD
To start: Get all your ingredients and equipment ready. Put a medium saucepan and a large ovenproof frying pan on a low heat. Fit the thick slicer disc attachment into the food processor and turn the oven on to 220°C/425°F/gas 7. Fill and boil the kettle.
Dauphinoise: Peel and halve the red onion. Wash the potatoes, leave their skins on and slice in the food processor with the onion. Tip into a large sturdy roasting tray (approx. 35 x 25cm) and season. Grate over ¼ of the nutmeg, crush in 2 unpeeled cloves of garlic and pour in 225ml of single cream.
Tear in the anchovies and finely grate over a large handful of Parmesan. Add the bay leaves, pick the leaves from a few thyme sprigs and add a good drizzle of olive oil. Use your clean hands to quickly mix and toss everything together, then put the tray over a medium heat. Pour in 200ml of boiled water, cover tightly with tin foil and leave on the heat.
Chicken: Turn the heat under the frying pan up to medium. Pick and finely chop the leaves from the rosemary sprigs and sprinkle them into the pack of chicken. Sprinkle 1 teaspoon of mustard powder over each breast, then season and drizzle some olive oil over the chicken and into the frying pan. Massage and rub these flavours all over the meat. Put the chicken breasts in the pan, skin side down. Wash your hands well. Use a fish slice to press down on the chicken to help it cook. It should take around 18 minutes in total.
Dauphinoise: Give the tray a shake so nothing catches.
Greens: Finely slice the stalks so they cook quickly. Wash the leaves. Put the stalks into the saucepan, cover with boiling water, add a good pinch of salt and put the lid on.
Dauphinoise: Remove the tin foil. Finely grate over a layer of Parmesan. Drizzle the remaining thyme sprigs with oil, scatter on top and put into the oven on the top shelf to cook for 15 minutes, or until golden brown and bubbling.
Chicken: Quickly trim the leeks and halve lengthways. Wash them under the cold tap, then finely slice them and add to one side of the chicken pan.
Greens: Add the chard leaves to the saucepan. Add another splash of boiled water if needed.
Chicken: Crush 4 unpeeled cloves of garlic into the pan of chicken. Flip the chicken breasts skin side up, then press down on them again. Stir the leeks and add a good swig of white wine.
Greens: Empty the bag of spinach into a colander and pour the greens and the boiling water over the spinach. Add a lug of olive oil to the empty saucepan, squeeze in the juice of 1 lemon, then return all the drained greens to the pan and use tongs to toss and dress in the flavours. Season to taste, then take straight to the table.
Chicken: Check the chicken is cooked through, then pour 75ml of cream into the frying pan. Cover the pan with tin foil. Quickly check on the dauphinoise.
Affogato: Put 1 tablespoon of instant coffee into a small jug with 3 teaspoons of sugar. Half-fill the kettle and boil. Crumble the shortbread biscuits into the bottom of 4 espresso cups. Drain the cherries and divide them between the cups. Bash the bar of chocolate up and add a few chunks
to each cup.Take the cups to the table.
Chicken: Turn the heat off. Transfer the chicken breasts to a board and slice into uneven pieces. Stir 1 heaped teaspoon of whole grain mustard into the sauce, then taste and adjust the seasoning if necessary. Spoon the sauce on to a platter and put the sliced chicken on top. Drizzle over some extra virgin olive oil and take straight to the table.
Dauphinoise: Take to the table. Get your ice cream out of the freezer to soften for later.
To serve: After dinner, stir some boiling water into the jug of coffee and sugar. Take to the table with the ice cream and spoon a scoop into each espresso cup. Grate over some chocolate, then pour over just enough hot coffee (or espresso) to start melting the chocolate. So delicious!
Shopping for the ingredients later.
Jamie Oliver's Mustard Chicken and Black Forest Affogato
INGREDIENTS
For the dauphinoise
1 red onion
1kg Maris Piper potatoes
1 nutmeg
2 cloves of garlic
1 x 300ml tub of single cream
4 anchovies in oil
Parmesan cheese
2 bay leaves
Very small bunch of fresh thyme
For the seasonings
Olive oil
Extra virgin olive oil
Sea salt and black pepper
For the chicken
Few sprigs of fresh rosemary
4 x 180g chicken breasts, skin on
4 tsp Colman’s mustard powder
3 baby leeks or 1 large leek
4 cloves of garlic
White wine
75ml single cream (taken from cream for dauphinoise)
1 heaped tsp wholegrain mustard
For the greens
200g Swiss chard or other greens
1 x 200g bag of prewashed baby spinach
1 lemon
For the affogato
1 tbsp instant coffee (or you could use 4–6 shots of espresso)
3 tsp golden caster sugar
4–6 round shortbread biscuits
1 x 425g tin of pitted black cherries in juice
1 x 100g bar of good-quality dark chocolate (70% cocoa solids)
1 x 500g tub of good-quality vanilla
Ice cream
METHOD
To start: Get all your ingredients and equipment ready. Put a medium saucepan and a large ovenproof frying pan on a low heat. Fit the thick slicer disc attachment into the food processor and turn the oven on to 220°C/425°F/gas 7. Fill and boil the kettle.
Dauphinoise: Peel and halve the red onion. Wash the potatoes, leave their skins on and slice in the food processor with the onion. Tip into a large sturdy roasting tray (approx. 35 x 25cm) and season. Grate over ¼ of the nutmeg, crush in 2 unpeeled cloves of garlic and pour in 225ml of single cream.
Tear in the anchovies and finely grate over a large handful of Parmesan. Add the bay leaves, pick the leaves from a few thyme sprigs and add a good drizzle of olive oil. Use your clean hands to quickly mix and toss everything together, then put the tray over a medium heat. Pour in 200ml of boiled water, cover tightly with tin foil and leave on the heat.
Chicken: Turn the heat under the frying pan up to medium. Pick and finely chop the leaves from the rosemary sprigs and sprinkle them into the pack of chicken. Sprinkle 1 teaspoon of mustard powder over each breast, then season and drizzle some olive oil over the chicken and into the frying pan. Massage and rub these flavours all over the meat. Put the chicken breasts in the pan, skin side down. Wash your hands well. Use a fish slice to press down on the chicken to help it cook. It should take around 18 minutes in total.
Dauphinoise: Give the tray a shake so nothing catches.
Greens: Finely slice the stalks so they cook quickly. Wash the leaves. Put the stalks into the saucepan, cover with boiling water, add a good pinch of salt and put the lid on.
Dauphinoise: Remove the tin foil. Finely grate over a layer of Parmesan. Drizzle the remaining thyme sprigs with oil, scatter on top and put into the oven on the top shelf to cook for 15 minutes, or until golden brown and bubbling.
Chicken: Quickly trim the leeks and halve lengthways. Wash them under the cold tap, then finely slice them and add to one side of the chicken pan.
Greens: Add the chard leaves to the saucepan. Add another splash of boiled water if needed.
Chicken: Crush 4 unpeeled cloves of garlic into the pan of chicken. Flip the chicken breasts skin side up, then press down on them again. Stir the leeks and add a good swig of white wine.
Greens: Empty the bag of spinach into a colander and pour the greens and the boiling water over the spinach. Add a lug of olive oil to the empty saucepan, squeeze in the juice of 1 lemon, then return all the drained greens to the pan and use tongs to toss and dress in the flavours. Season to taste, then take straight to the table.
Chicken: Check the chicken is cooked through, then pour 75ml of cream into the frying pan. Cover the pan with tin foil. Quickly check on the dauphinoise.
Affogato: Put 1 tablespoon of instant coffee into a small jug with 3 teaspoons of sugar. Half-fill the kettle and boil. Crumble the shortbread biscuits into the bottom of 4 espresso cups. Drain the cherries and divide them between the cups. Bash the bar of chocolate up and add a few chunks
to each cup.Take the cups to the table.
Chicken: Turn the heat off. Transfer the chicken breasts to a board and slice into uneven pieces. Stir 1 heaped teaspoon of whole grain mustard into the sauce, then taste and adjust the seasoning if necessary. Spoon the sauce on to a platter and put the sliced chicken on top. Drizzle over some extra virgin olive oil and take straight to the table.
Dauphinoise: Take to the table. Get your ice cream out of the freezer to soften for later.
To serve: After dinner, stir some boiling water into the jug of coffee and sugar. Take to the table with the ice cream and spoon a scoop into each espresso cup. Grate over some chocolate, then pour over just enough hot coffee (or espresso) to start melting the chocolate. So delicious!
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by Dancing_Doll
http://www.lushstories.com/lisa
I recommend Lisa's profile. She keeps a low profile on Lush, but don't let that dissuade you from checking out her incredible collection of erotica. She is easily one of THE BEST writers on the site. Her characters are sexy, sensual and believable, and she is a master of natural dialogue and real intimacy.
Aside from her stories, she has an album of some of the hottest drool-worthy collection of men on her profile and plenty of other delicious pics.
Check her out!
Totally agree with this! Lisa is an exceptional writer.
Really steamy stuff and written in a way that makes it so easy to immerse yourself in the moment.
http://www.lushstories.com/lisa
Also, this blonde bombshell above me!
Prepare yourself before reading any of Ashleigh's work. Phew!
http://www.lushstories.com/Dancing_Doll
Finally, if you really fancy a giggle, Abigail Thornton is one of my favourite writers because of the comic element that she is capable of weaving into her stories.
Exceptionally funny and sexy!
http://www.lushstories.com/abigailthornton
Sprite and Shylass have already had a shout-out from me in a previous post
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by Buz
I had that happen once about a year ago. The friends noticed and I knew nothing about until they contacted me. I had actually been out of town and had not logged in a a few days when it happened. We of course re-friended. I reported it to Gav. I think when Gav removes his Storm Trooper helmet he must look like Scotty from Star Trek. He's always in the Lush engine room fixing problems.
James Doohan or Simon Pegg?
Scarlet Seductress
Gives the word 'cocktail' a whole new meaning right? 
How long have semen cocktails been a thing now?
If any of you cum guzzling enthusiasts out there in 'Lush Land' would like to get your hands on a copy of his new book, you can find it here:
Amazon link: CLICK HERE
Source: Jezebel Article
How long have semen cocktails been a thing now?
Quote by Jezebel.com
If you thought egg whites were a funky addition to cocktail menus around the country, you ain't seen nothing yet.
While you might not get salmonella from consuming sperm — actually, can you? — libations made with the male seed (I'M SORRY) are here to stay. Well, at least according to one dude, Paul "Fotie" Photenhauer, the prophet of man juice mixology.
His second book on the matter of baby batter, Semenology: The Semen Bartender's Handbook, teaches people how to create beverages for their lover using ingredients like fresh mint leaf, lemon zest, and jizz.
"If you want your partner to swallow, you should be willing to eat your own semen — I mean, it's your semen," he told SF Weekly. "Then I started thinking about it. People eat all kinds of weird shit. Eggs are the menstruation of chickens. Milk is the mammary excretion from cows. Semen is... at least it's fresh and you know who the producer is."
Annnd that is (now) one of the main reasons I'm vegan.
Anna Roth at SF Weekly reached out to an infectious disease specialist to inquire about the health hazards of too much man ranch:
Quote by Anna Roth (SF Weekly)
Of course, there's gross and then there's unsafe. To find out about the potential health risks or benefits, I talked to an infectious disease specialist and professor at the Berkeley School of Public Health who asked not to be named. "I really thought I'd heard it all," he says in response to my query (when an infectious disease specialist says that, you know it's out of the norm). He thinks about the risks for a moment. "If the food is thoroughly cooked, well-cooked, to destroy any life forms in the semen, like any viruses... that would be my first concern," he says, citing HIV, CMV (a herpes virus), and other STDs that could be transmitted through raw semen.
Makes sense — if you're willing to swallow your partner's semen, you shouldn't worry about the health hazards of mixing it into a mojito.
However, if you're thinking about replacing your pre-workout protein shake with a hearty glass of splooge sangria, not too fast — the infectious disease specialist says the amount of protein in one... er, serving?... of sperm is "negligible".
For now, Photenhauer recommends only crafting cocktails with trusted sperm, but who knows what the future could bring? Maybe this will be a thing like eating Komodo dragons in The Freshman? Rich people are nuts when it comes to paying the big bucks to do weird shit. Hell, it might already be on the menu in some speakeasy somewhere.
If any of you cum guzzling enthusiasts out there in 'Lush Land' would like to get your hands on a copy of his new book, you can find it here:
Amazon link: CLICK HERE
Source: Jezebel Article