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MonsoonMicky

Over 90 days ago

Straight Male, 50

United Kingdom

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11 Dec 2015

Quote by Verbal
This is a really interesting thread, and I have used several methods to indicate internal monologue, usually italics, very occasionally quotations. But, particularly in a first person piece, I've used dashes, parentheses, bold to set apart a clump of internal dialogue. Test the limits. Whatever works, works. If you go too far, the mods will reel you back in (and they have me, more than once).

Here's one I used here, in Endless Playground. Not exactly internal monologue, but his emotions bubbling up in the third person: "As he closed his eyes and buried his hands in her hair to pull her breathless kisses closer the whole wearied world was left momentarily disappeared behind him--the sympathy cards, the funeral directors, the endless to-do lists, the sterile hospital room, the casseroles lying in his freezer like sides of beef, the soul-dead preacher at the funeral, the countless minutes wasted in waiting rooms of countless doctors, his daughter’s tears, his own tears, the blood tests, the EKG's, the brain scans--all the tears and all the blood and all the loss and all the pain left effortlessly in ashes, leaving only the white hot points of connection where their bodies touched, pussy to cock, hand to breast, teeth to lip."

It's probably too long a sentence too. But fuck it. Test the limits.

That is a bumper-long sentence, that 's for sure. I spend hours sometimes, studying my own sentences, wondering whether or not they're too long. You're certainly testing the waters with that one. You're braver than I am.

It's narrative, though, not direct thought.

I'm 99% sure that quotation marks, whether they be doubles or singles, should NOT be used to indicate direct thought. Punctuation is there to help the reader understand what the writer intended, and to eliminate any ambiguity. Surely using quotation marks would only give rise to ambiguity rather than eliminate it. That's what I reckon anyway, and loads of websites I've checked out say that as well.

11 Dec 2015

Quote by stephanie

I do LOADS of things YOU SHOULD NOT DO!!!

(I OFTEN start sentences with 'And'!!!!!)

Don't get me started on THIS SHIT. (Caps are a BIG NO-NO!) I do THAT all the time!!!

xx SF

Everyone: "And you overuse Exclamation Marks..."

Me: "I DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!"

Yeah, but you only do that in the forum. Surely you don't do that when writing a story; you'd get told off.

11 Dec 2015

Quote by stephanie

Do come back with the results of your research.

xx SF

I've looked at about 10 different websites and every one says that using quotation marks to indicate thought is a big no-no. And the first thing that comes up at the top of Google when I googled the question was this:

"Quotation marks are used only to show something that is spoken aloud. Do not put quotation marks around thoughts. You can use italics for this, although it's not necessary and can be distracting."

I knew I was right; I'm always right.

And yes, I believe everything I read online.

11 Dec 2015

I would like to hear some other opinions on the matter of using single quote marks to indicate thought.

I've always used the single marks when adding a quote within a quote. I show you:

Sitting in the pub, I announced to my friends, "My missus gave me a treat last night. She pounced on me, straddled my waist and screamed 'I'm gonna ride you like a bucking bronco'!"

11 Dec 2015

Well I suppose you could use single quotation marks to indicate thought, but I wouldn't recommend it. It would confuse most readers as to whether it's a thought or spoken dialogue.

And if you're going to indicate it's an internal thought by adding "he thought" then the quotation marks would serve no purpose other than to add ambiguity.

I'm going to have to do some research on this. I might be wrong, but I don't think I've ever read an author that uses quotes to indicate thought.

11 Dec 2015

Never use quotation marks. Use italics if anything.

Always remember that you have to write thoughts in the present tense. I'll show you an example.

I stood frozen to the spot, stupefied, eyes bulging with wonder as she unclasped her bra and let it drop to the floor, revealing a cracking pair of jubblies. Fucking hell. They are the biggest pair of fun bags I've ever seen in my life.

Or you can do it without italics. But I usually indicate it's a thought by adding, "I thought" somewhere in the sentence:

Fucking hell, I thought. They are the biggest pair of fun bags I've ever seen in my life.

10 Dec 2015

Quote by deviantsusie
However, is this site suffering because we are not allowed to read or write stories? No, i don't think so.

In short, not having a non-consent/ section on lush is not health and safety gone mad but a mature decision by the owners about what sort of community they want. I believe Literotica has a large section if that is what floats your boat.

No, that's my point -- we ARE allowed to write stories or any stories we like, for that matter. This is what I'm getting at. Just because Lush doesn't accept certain story content, doesn't mean we can't write about it. It just means we can't upload it to this site, and I fully respect that. People are putting words into my mouth, claiming I've said things that I haven't.

And nobody claimed that this site is suffering because it doesn't accept stories. Show me where it says that on this thread.

And no, stories do not float my boat. If you look at the story I uploaded you'll see that I prefer the tootsies.

10 Dec 2015

Quote by sprite
legality has nothing to do with it - it's fiction. the decision for not allowing non-consent stories was too insure that Lush is a comfortable place for everyone to visit and read. A large number of readers do have issues with consent based stories, and rather than make them feel uncomfortable, we decided to simply not allow them - also, since lush is also a social mecca of a sorts, it's not the kind of atmosphere we wish to inspire.

Sprite, I understand that and you don't have to jump to the defence of Lush Stories. Nothing I have said on this thread is directed at Lush's rules or Lush's members in any way, shape or form. It's a great community, full of friendly people. I remember when I first joined and you helped me out immensely. You were more than hospitable and made me feel right at home. I would never knock this site, its rules or its members -- that's not what I'm about.

I'm just trying make people understand that writing stories about illegal acts is not illegal in itself. And I don't buy into the general consensus that extreme sex stories and violence on the TV and in books encourages people to go out and commit those acts in real life. There're lots of shitty people in the world, and those people will commit heinous acts of crime regardless as to whether they read about them or see them on TV.

Every site has rules and I respect those rules. I wouldn't want Lush to change for the world. I hope I've made myself clear on that.

10 Dec 2015

My point is, people should just read and write about whatever they want to read and write about and forget the "risks" involved.

It irks me when people say you can't write about sex crimes because it inspires perverts to act out their fantasies, or you can't depict violence in films and computer games because it may inspire lunatics to go out and start shooting people. These people are going to commit crimes regardless as to whether they have seen it on TV or read it in a story.

The world is now full of people trying to eliminate every element of risk from everything we do. It's health and safety gone mad.

I read in the newspaper the other week that a principal of a school had banned a partially-sighted, 10-year-old girl from bringing her white stick to school because it poses a tripping hazard to the other pupils. Now this isn't just an isolated incident -- there are cases like this occurring on a daily basis. Honestly, the world has gone bloody daft!!!

I don't know what it's like in other countries, but here in the UK you can't do anything these days without first accessing the risks, writing them all down, then taking precaution against them. It'll soon get to the point where you can't even scratch your own arse without filling in a risk assessment sheet.

"Oh, you can't scratch your arse with that ring on your finger -- it might snag on your anus and tear you a new arsehole." tard

tard

8 Dec 2015

I'd like to just clarify a few things because I get the impression that some people have misinterpreted my intentions on this thread.

First, I'm not questioning Lush's rules regarding story content. The people who own this site make the rules -- their house, their rules -- and I respect those decisions and will always adhere to the rules they have laid down. As I said before, those who prefer their stories a little more risqué, should frequent other sites that cater for that sort of thing.

Second, a member raised a point in a previous post claiming that writing non-consent stories is an arrestable offense. I simply pointed out that this is most certainly not the case. There is no subject matter that can be broached with the written word that would leave you liable to criminal prosecution. There is a big difference between a fictitious story and a real-life event. Adults can differentiate between real-life and fiction, hence the 18+ certificate awarded to certain films.

Last but not least, a member claimed that uploading non-consent stories could have an adverse affect on potential sex offenders and act as a catalyst by feeding potential rapists imaginations and strengthening their warped fantasies. I thought this was a good point and one worth debating, so I followed up on it in an attempt to get a meaningful and insightful conversation going. I do apologise if my expectations were far too high and unrealistic.

8 Dec 2015

Quote by Dani

Wouldn't wanna disappoint those potential sex offenders.

You've missed the point. We're not talking about disappointing people here -- we're talking about extreme sex acts in films and books fueling people's imaginations and acting as potential catalysts for people's actions. I'm not saying whether it does or not, but it seems silly when people use that as excuse to not write about acts of crime or depict such acts in films.

On the same token, let's eradicate scenes of gunfire from films and books as they may inspire some lunatic out there with a penchant for that sort of thing to go out and commit atrocities against the human race. Let's eradicate scenes of explosions from books and films as it may inspire a maniac with an affinity for homemade explosives to go out and let one off in a public place.

Once we start going down that road, the next step is wrapping ourselves in cotton wool and never leaving our homes in case we get hit by a car or a stray bullet.

There's an element of risk in everything we do.

7 Dec 2015

Quote by Jasmine_x
This thread has me paranoid about my own work lol. (I know I'm not a great author but I'm trying to improve.)

Anyway, I hate it when stories start with "It was..." I know I've done it before and I regret it but some authors use it in every single story they publish.

I know what you mean. It sounds much better if you use t'was instead. As in, "t'was the night before Christmas". laughing6

laughing6

7 Dec 2015

First, I've only uploaded one story to the site. But before doing so, I read the site rules regarding acceptable story content and adhered to those rules. As a matter of respect to those who work hard to keep this site running, we should all make ourselves aware of and adhere to the rules before we upload a story. I'm sure there're other sites that cater for the more extreme sexual content, so post those stories elsewhere.

Next point, just because a sexual act is illegal in real life or against Lush's rules doesn't make it illegal to write about. In fact, unless you're defaming someone, damaging a person's reputation with the written word -- know as libel -- there is nothing you can write that will leave you outside the bounds of the law. And even libel's a civil offence, not criminal.

Quote by overmykneenow

Instead of making some kind of social commentary you've just fed a potential 's imagination and strengthened his warped fantasy. Well done.

Okay, scenes of and other extreme sex acts may potentially act as a trigger for potential sex offenders, but if you're looking at it from that perspective, then you have to point a finger at mainstream movie producers too. I've seen films that depict heinous sex acts, including . And these are not literary pieces lurking in the dark depths of the internet -- these are films shown to public audiences in cinemas, stocked on shelves of reputable shops and bought and watched by millions of people all over the world.

Don't worry about amateur writers fuelling the imagination of potential sex offenders, because mainstream movie producers, directors and actors are doing a much better job of it than any online amateur writer.

6 Nov 2015

No, never. Not on Lush or any other website for that matter. Nobody should have to endure the sight of my naked body. That would be quite a traumatic experience.

I don't even make friends online any more. Too many bad experiences, you see. The same old shit happens to me every time: I meet a lady online, fall in love, do everything she says. Then it all goes wrong; I get my heart broken and make a fool of myself.

In fact, the last two "women" I met online turned out to be a guy from Nigeria to trying swindle me out of money.

Let's all stay vigilante and not be too naive when it comes to online friends. Believe me, I've learned the hard way.

The thing is, Mark Zuckerberg then says this: "The biggest risk is not taking any risk... In a world that is changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks."

He hasn't learned the hard way yet. Give him time.

4 Nov 2015

Quote by BiMale73

Weird indeed. You have 10 forum posts now, but the counter on your profile says 3 (like you mentioned), and here under your avatar it says 5. Looks like a bug to me.

EDIT: before this post, both my post counters (here and on my profile) said 1415. Now my profile still says 1415, but here it says 1416. This may be a caching issue though. Perhaps the one on the profile is updated with bigger intervals.

It's a conundrum if ever there was one. In fact, I've got the Twilight Zone music playing here at my end.

I'm sure it's just a technical issue. I don't wonna go to bed thinking it's something that's catching or do to with the supernatural; that's the sort of thing keeps me up at night.

4 Nov 2015

Quote by sprite
either that or something's gone terribly wrong with the math-space continuum.

laughing3

No, that's a good one, that is. It's the "math-space continuum" instead of the "time-space continuum", because it's regarding numbers, not time.

I bet you're a sci-fi fan. hello1

hello1

4 Nov 2015

Quote by sprite

going mad.

That's what I thought. thumbright

thumbright

4 Nov 2015

I joined Lush four days ago, so do forgive me if I'm talking rubbish.

Since joining, I've posted eight messages in the forum, yet according to the info on my profile page, I've only posted three.

Am I doing something wrong, going mad, or just being pedantic?

Answers on a postcard, please. blah5

blah5

4 Nov 2015

Quote by Verbal

I think the length is fine, but I tend be infatuated with long sentences too. Be careful, that Ravenstar will grab a semi-colon and gut you like a carp.

How about:

I stood leering, munching on the kabob, captivated by that bare foot, oblivious to the drop of chili sauce that trickled down my chin and onto my shirt.

The chili sauce drop is a great detail.

I'll tell you what: all this talk of semi colons taking out eyes and ripping guts out has had a profound affect on me. I feel a shiver of trepidation run through me every time I press the semi colon key on my keyboard, thinking it's going to jump out at me and do me a mischief. I never knew that punctuation marks could be so dangerous. laughing6

laughing6

Thank you for replying to my post. I suppose the ideal sentence length is a matter of opinion.

I'm also rather partial to the longer sentence.

Someone once said to me, "If you run out of breath before you reach the end of a sentence, you know it's too long." I'm not sure about that, because this would differ from one person to next; everybody has different lung capacities. For example, a non-smoker would be able to read a much longer sentence than a smoker of twenty cigs a day, due to their superior lung capacity.

I like the way you restructured my sentence, by the way. I would have added that to my story, but I'd already uploaded it.

3 Nov 2015

Quote by sprite

btw, some of us really do get the foot fetish thing. not saying who, though. quite seriously, as long as a story doesn't break guidelines, write it and don't worry about being judged. we try to keep an openness here for everyone's kinks and fetishes. as i am fond of telling people who think that they are into strange "perversions" and shy about admitting to them, i like being peed on.

Oh, yeah, the golden shower. I've tried it myself a couple of times, but I much prefer the tootsies. Your openness is heartwarming and comforting.

There are people out there who will make mock of those with "unorthodox" sexual preferences. The thing is -- and not many people know this -- those who make fun of others actually have kinks and fetishes of their own. The difference is, they're too shy to admit it, and hide behind a facade of being someone they are not and denying who they really are.

You and I are the better people; we know who we are, what we like. We accept it, and we're not afraid to admit it. That is the key to living a blissfully free life. A life of joy, peace and purpose.

Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

3 Nov 2015

On a more important note, aside from the willy-nillys and the semi colons, I've just uploaded my first story to the site.

I've been working ever so hard on sentence structure recently, and , regardless as to whether my story is accepted or not, I'd be grateful if someone would give me an honest opinion on my writing.

One thing I'm most guilty of is running sentences too long, making them long-winded. Problem is, I'm having difficulty determining what is the maximum length of a sentence before the sentence starts venturing into the realms of long-windeness.

I'll post an example of a sentence I wrote the other day, which, ultimately, I decided was too long and split into two. I'll post it and I be grateful if someone could give me an honest opinion.

I stood stock still, leering, munching on my donor kebab, drinking in that awe-inspiring sight, and felt a drop of chili sauce trickle down my chin and onto my shirt as that barefoot held me captivated.

3 Nov 2015

Quote by Verbal

I like throwing around semi colons willy-nilly. That curvy bit at the very bottom is sharp; I like to use them like ninja stars.

You're right: those semi colons are pretty sharp. You wonna be careful throwing those bastards about; you'll have someone's eye out. laughing6

laughing6

2 Nov 2015

Quote by RavenStar

I've just taken a look at your story. There are actually quite a few things I'd send it back for, beyond what was actually mentioned in the return note.

Your paragraphs are indeed a bit too long. We ask that our authors keep them between 4 and 6 sentences long, primarily because it makes them easier for our mobile phone crowd to read. I'm almost always on my phone, so I get the request.

Your sentences, while mostly correct, tend to ramble a bit, making it difficult and uncomfortable to follow the action. Introducing commas and semicolons, as well as breaking some of them up into two or three sentences, would greatly improve the readability.

Your dialogue formatting is incorrect, per our site standard. We use the most widely accepted form of dialogue formatting:

"It should look like this," replied the moderator.

Note the closing comma inside the closing quotation mark. If it ended in a period, it would be inside as well.

Please also make sure every speaker has their own paragraph.

We do prefer that ALL CAPS not be used much at all for emphasis. Instead, we encourage the use of italics sparingly. No bold at all, please, unless you are denoting scene changes with a short title.

Why do we go to the trouble of returning stories for these seemingly inconsequential changes, when as some put it, this is just smut? Because we have site quality standards. We insist that the stories published here meet our quality standards, mostly when it comes to grammar and punctuation. This is one of the things that sets Lush apart from everyone else. We care about the quality, the construction and the reader's enjoyment when picking out a story.

We very eagerly encourage you to make the changes to your story to make it a better version of itself. If you're unwilling to make the requested changes, then unfortunately we will not post it.

This is very informative. It's also pretty standard stuff; you're not asking for anything out of the ordinary. I don't see why people are finding it hard to adhere to these standards.

And I agree: correct grammar and punctuation is vital in our writing.

The other day, some bloke at work said to me, "Why is grammar and punctuation so important? English is a progressive and spoken language. As long as we understand each other, who gives a fuck".

To which I replied, "If we all make up our own rules regarding grammar and punctuation, start throwing in commas and semi colons will-nilly as and we feel like it, then the written word would become meaningless, fall into total disarray, because we'd all be working by different interpretations of the rules. As a result, those rules would mean something to one person, yet absolutely nothing the next. Ultimately, grammar and punctuation would lose all meaning, become worthless."

He mulled it over for a moment and then said, "Yeah, I see what you mean. You're right - again - as usual."

kekekegay

kekekegay

2 Nov 2015

Quote by Milik_the_Red

Our minimum age for any character to be sexually aware, active or desirable is 16. She must have submitted erotic content including children under that age. That will be reason for instant rejection.

We also require paragraphs to be limited to about 5 lines. This rule is somewhat flexible, but it is there because long paragraphs don't display well on some electronic devices.

Edit: She said in her post the character was claimed to be older than our requirement. I didn't moderate her story, but the only times I've seen that happen was when the characters language or description was in conflict with the stated age. If a character is portrayed or described as being very young, that will trump attempts to claim being of legal age.

I see what you mean. For example, if the author was claiming a character to be of legal age, but describing them as a minor and using dialogue such as "May I go play in the park, Mummy" then this would infer that the character is indeed underage.

And I totally agree with the paragraph spacing requirement. A continuous chunk of text without any paragraph spacing puts me off as soon as look at it. I assume this is also the case for most other people. It's just unreadable. Authors should take note and realise that their stories will get more reads if they break up the text.

2 Nov 2015

Quote by NOLAHotGal
Their complaint was my young age which was older than the min legal age and older than they required.

Could you elaborate further on that point. I don't get what you're saying.

After reading through site rules regarding acceptable story content, I believe the minimum age for characters partaking in sexual activity is 16. How old were they in your story?

1 Nov 2015

Thanks for this one; I found it really helpful.

I'm considering uploading a story of my own at some point. Not just yet, mind you. Still quite new, so just chilling out, checking out the vibes and familiarising myself with the rules.