I wonder why this question is only in the "Ask the Gals". Studies have shown that attractive men (and especially tall men) are more likely to get offered jobs and likely to get paid more than their less attractive counterparts. Although usually they...err...I mean we (since online I'm stunningly handsome) just assume that we're worth every cent...
I'm mostly putting in my two cents here because I like the idea of pushing for more constructive criticism on this site. My profile page has been asking for that since about the time I published my first attempt at a story, with no takers so far. Meaning that everyone's too nice, people have been too busy or that my stories are perfect. I doubt that it's the last of these...
Being still a bit of a newbie, I've not offered anyone else constructive criticism either. And this story is, imho, one of the best I've read here, better than many other stories that I've given 5s (ah, grade inflation...) and better than my own stories.
*Spoiler alert* (Seriously, people, read his story, before my ramblings...or just instead of my ramblings...)
But, for mine, the weakest link was probably the ending. I can accept that a sad ending fits (even though I'm a bit of a sucker for happy endings), but it seemed quite abrupt to me at the end of a fairly slow paced story. Okay, so real life doesn't always have happy endings and people with commitments stay stuck in different cities. But what about when his kids are grown, or her parents pass away? Couldn't we have them battling arthritis to dance the tango again? Couldn't you make it fit a 'Senior Sex' category (no, I'm not suggesting we need one on Lush...)?
I don't really know how to end it better - that was just the weakest link amongst some seriously strong links for this reader...
My first response to this was - why would I ever want to do that?
But, maybe, years ago, I would have gone with black. You see, I was lusting after a young woman who was getting seriously into the goth scene. I quite liked Joy Division and owned a fair bit of black clothing, but make-up, nail polish and wearing black through an Australian summer seemed a bit much to me.
But if I could have said, "My semen is black," then maybe she would have replied, "Wow! You are so much more of a goth man than these silly boys I hang out with. I want your black cum all over my ludicrously pale skin."
Or, perhaps more likely, she might have said, "Why are you telling me this? Go and see a doctor, now!"
Well, I don't know Layla at all, or Verbal all that much beyond seeing him around this place...but - huge congratulations to you both!
I'll definitely join you for a puff, and then some popcorn and some of Hannah's bikkies (ie biscuits ie things Americans would probably call small cookies). I can't translate many of the cooking terms though (I'm better at eating than baking).
And I'm sure the bikkies would go well with a beer, but then, what doesn't? So another beer, thanks barkeep.
Evening all. Been a busy long, long weekend here - even if I did have to use annual leave today, thanks to a boss who is (rightfully) suspicious about sick days before a Tuesday public holiday. But it's hard to complain when that busyness includes a beach visit in late April.
And, hope you have a...hmm...pleasant Anzac Day, Laura ("happy Anzac Day" sounds a bit wrong somehow).
Apologies to Tonya - I don't remember exactly which indecent propositions I was making last time I was here (well, here and conscious). But I'm sure that they were witty and entirely respectful...otherwise, it must have been that damn popcorn.
And on a totally unrelated subject - Bill, I've sketched some plans on a beer coaster for a multi-level storage facility for out the back. Store rooms as far as the eye can see - I'm sure the patrons would appreciate having extra space for...umm, storing all the stuff you need to store. And I'm sure you can get some cheap labour if you allow people to work off their tabs...
In the meantime, a beer would hit the spot right now!
Joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand?
Anyway, I'll join the long queue of people wanting to buy you a drink.
), ready to defend you from threats. Well, until the Skittles run out anyway.
