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PhilU
6 hours ago
Straight Male
0 miles · Sydney
Forum
Forum Kan-Guru
Quote by browncoffee
thank you very much! your avatar makes my day, every day, by the way.
okay, that sounded somewhat poetic which reminds me...
WHO'S ENTERING THE POETRY COMPETITION?
I so far have the following:
Already entered: Milik_the_Red
Hell yes I'm entering: BC (me), Lilly, Emerson501, sprite
Maybe: Gillianleeeza, Lauradj, TonyaL, oceanrunner, seeker4
No thank you: Verbal, PhilU (I'm hoping you two will at least reconsider)
Let's not forget, all entrants get one free Hannah. The drink, I mean! Jeez!
If your name isn't given above, kindly clarify your intentions. (Ashlea, Jen, Margot, Buz, Bill, Lulu - I'm really on tenterhooks here!)
I really think we should all enter. (I'm mortified by my current attempts and keep googling 'how to write a good poem'. Please be embarrassed with me. Please.)
Um, found anything helpful? It's just that, well, a friend wanted to know...
On an unrelated matter, I might try a Hannah, just to see how good they are. And to see if anyone ever tries to make me pay my tab, or if all drinks are effectively free...
Forum Kan-Guru
Quote by oceanrunner
Bill is back!
In his honor I will pay (a portion of) my bar tab.
Actually, I think the beaver's breath costs negative money so at this point he owes me quite a bit.
Brain teaser. A Canadian town and an American one, right across the border from each other. They're rivals, so they've each devalued the other's currency. The Canadians say that an American dollar is worth only $.95 Canadian. And vice versa. A guy goes to a Canadian bar, orders a drink, which is 5cents (let's pretend this was a long time ago). He gets his drink and an American dollar in change (=$.95 Canadian). With an American dollar in his pocket he crosses the border and repeats the process at an American bar. Gets a Canadian dollar as change. Repeats all night until he's plastered. And he ends the night with the same Canadian dollar he started with.
Where does the "money" all come from?
That's some mighty impressive foreign exchange arbitrage going there. The bars are both losing money...or at least will realize their losses about the time they send someone across the border to restock their supply of foreign banknotes. The Americans will find that the Canadians want ~US$1.05 for a Canadian dollar...they'll either meet somewhere in the middle, or possibly have a full scale war, and the Canadians will march into Washington and burn the White House down again (well, a guy can dream
).Anyway, I think I need a beer now...I've got 5c somewhere!
Welcome back Bill. Congrats on the EP Hannah. And congrats to everyone else for managing to not burn the bar down, or even have a decent brawl, while the owner was out of town!
Forum Kan-Guru
Quote by kiera
Courtship behaviour between the male and the female platypus includes an increase in body contact, nuzzling of their bills, circling each other, and the male holding on to the female’s tail with his mouth.
Female antechinuses (mouse-like marsupials) come into oestrus at the same time, leading to all the males stopping eating and shutting down their immune system. They then engage in successive 5-14 hour sex marathons with as many females as they can find, until the males all die from exhaustion or infection (leaving more food for the babies of those with the best sperm). I think the female's tricks to attract male consist of smelling good, and sticking their tail up in the air. Seems to be enough...
And somehow, that's not our national symbol
Forum Kan-Guru
Thanks to Gillianleeeza for reminding me. I grew up with a bit of a crush on Winnie Cooper (the actress is just over a year younger than me, so it's not totally weird...), and Danica McKellar has coauthored a paper titled "Percolation and Gibbs states multiplicity for ferromagnetic Ashkin–Teller models on $\mathbb{Z}^2$". What could be hotter than that? 
EDIT: I had said "2 years younger", but thought maybe I should get the maths right.
EDIT: I had said "2 years younger", but thought maybe I should get the maths right.
Forum Kan-Guru
Aw, what a cute spider. But what happened to its poor disabled friend?
*Sees sprite and kiera wielding bats*
Rightio, as you were...
And just to be clear to Hannah - I'm an occasional visitor to this fine establishment, not a "patron", so no promises of poetry from me! The competition sounds like a fine way to show respect to a great guy (who, unfortunately, I never knew), but I think I'll show respect to the entire lush community by not subjecting them to my poetry...
Hmm, is it too early for a beer? No, of course not - especially if Emerson's paying...
*Sees sprite and kiera wielding bats*
Rightio, as you were...
And just to be clear to Hannah - I'm an occasional visitor to this fine establishment, not a "patron", so no promises of poetry from me! The competition sounds like a fine way to show respect to a great guy (who, unfortunately, I never knew), but I think I'll show respect to the entire lush community by not subjecting them to my poetry...
Hmm, is it too early for a beer? No, of course not - especially if Emerson's paying...
Forum Kan-Guru
Quote by browncoffee
Dude, you were in my top ten!
Aw, thanks. I should add that my ambitions when entering the competition were: to have some fun, see if I could improve a bit as a writer, and see if I could get some feedback from some of the awesome writers around here. Mission accomplished!
And thanks to nicola, and the judges, and everyone else who made the competition happen!
Forum Kan-Guru
Many congratulations to all who made the top ten, and especially to puddleduck, WannabeWordsmith and littleduchess.
And congrats too to all my fellow "equal 11th placers". It was fun to read what everyone did with the girl in the photo (I mean "did" in a literary sense...honest!)
And congrats too to all my fellow "equal 11th placers". It was fun to read what everyone did with the girl in the photo (I mean "did" in a literary sense...honest!)
Forum Kan-Guru
Quote by sweetsinner
Hey Phil, nice to see another fellow Aussie around the traps, I swear my mind doesn't live as much in the gutter as I implied when I pulled you up on riding kangaroos.
Oh, so your mind's not always in the gutter? Must just be mine then
I'll give the "Beaver's Breath" a go, if there's anyone to serve one up who's not busy being cleaned up, doing inventory or <insert any other euphemism here>...
Forum Kan-Guru
Quote by PunkyCalam
I'm a bit slow, but I was doing some important research. According to http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-09-09/beer-swilling-swine/4946072, " they saw him running around their vehicle being chased by a cow." So, maybe the pig has been falsely accused and the cow started it. Or maybe pigs, when they have beer goggles on, find cows pretty hot...
Forum Kan-Guru
I think I'll risk trying the beer again - who knows, the taste may grow on me.
So, when is the band performing? I was never that much of a fan of Star Trek (I'll hand in my geek card now), but I am a big fan of interpretative dance. I hope this is one of those venues where the artists take it all off...because I think that would be a really artistic way to represent the vulnerability of people exploring the far reaches of space...
So, when is the band performing? I was never that much of a fan of Star Trek (I'll hand in my geek card now), but I am a big fan of interpretative dance. I hope this is one of those venues where the artists take it all off...because I think that would be a really artistic way to represent the vulnerability of people exploring the far reaches of space...
Forum Kan-Guru
I think you should practice doing this really amazing thing with your tongue that (sometimes) works for me - talking to women!
Perhaps you could even try talking about common interests and getting to know each other. That might be more successful than just asking, "Could I perform cunnilingus on you?"
Perhaps you could even try talking about common interests and getting to know each other. That might be more successful than just asking, "Could I perform cunnilingus on you?"
Forum Kan-Guru
Evening/morning/whatever everyone.
I must say I wonder about any bar where suggesting someone get on the "stripper pole" is the classy suggestion...but hey, there's an empty seat by the pole, so I might just sit myself down there...
Anyway, the beer was...ummm...interesting. But could I try some of the Big Beaver Lick Bourbon this evening? Not that I'm a big fan of bourbon, but I've been fascinated by beavers ever since the first time I caught a glimpse of a photo (in some magazine or other, I guess) of one of those amazing dams that they make.
I must say I wonder about any bar where suggesting someone get on the "stripper pole" is the classy suggestion...but hey, there's an empty seat by the pole, so I might just sit myself down there...
Anyway, the beer was...ummm...interesting. But could I try some of the Big Beaver Lick Bourbon this evening? Not that I'm a big fan of bourbon, but I've been fascinated by beavers ever since the first time I caught a glimpse of a photo (in some magazine or other, I guess) of one of those amazing dams that they make.
Forum Kan-Guru
Coming from the "arse" end of the world, I'm not sure how much I can say about what I get up to with my ass without breaking the site rules.*
But I'm sure that my forthcoming true story "My First Time With a Cactus Up My Arse" will set the site on fire. So far, I've only really written a laundry list description of the cactus but it's really good...
* Just kidding - I don't really have an ass. We all just ride kangaroos everywhere...
But I'm sure that my forthcoming true story "My First Time With a Cactus Up My Arse" will set the site on fire. So far, I've only really written a laundry list description of the cactus but it's really good...
* Just kidding - I don't really have an ass. We all just ride kangaroos everywhere...
Forum Kan-Guru
I figure I'll weigh in here, not because I'm an expert on sex scenes, but because I'm still new around here and I've been thinking a bit about this recently. It might help me as well if I put my thoughts into words...
I guess my first thought is that how the scene plays out should depend on the characters. What sort of sex would they have? What might the two (or more) of them each like to do?
And two of the main advantages of writing over movies are that you can say something about all the senses, and that you can describe what at least one of the characters is thinking and/or feeling. So let us inside their head a bit. This is true in general, but also applies for sex scenes.
Then the next question is what is the narrator going to focus on? As Just_A_Guy says, a bit of "less is more" can work well. Don't try to describe every second of the act, just some broad brushstrokes of what appealed most to the narrator e.g. (assuming it's a male narrator) would this particular guy focus more on the feelings of love for his partner, or more on the way her boobs bounce while she's riding him? But balance it out a bit - not too many sentences on bouncing boobs!
Then my last thought is to read some of the great authors on Lush, and figure out how they do it (check out the "favourite author" or "favourite story" threads, and go from there). If the story does it well, then you may need to read it again to try to figure out why it works (since you may be distracted a little the first time through...) Then try not to get disheartened if your story doesn't seem as good as theirs...just try to get a bit better each time.
And hopefully some of those great authors might add their thoughts here too...
I guess my first thought is that how the scene plays out should depend on the characters. What sort of sex would they have? What might the two (or more) of them each like to do?
And two of the main advantages of writing over movies are that you can say something about all the senses, and that you can describe what at least one of the characters is thinking and/or feeling. So let us inside their head a bit. This is true in general, but also applies for sex scenes.
Then the next question is what is the narrator going to focus on? As Just_A_Guy says, a bit of "less is more" can work well. Don't try to describe every second of the act, just some broad brushstrokes of what appealed most to the narrator e.g. (assuming it's a male narrator) would this particular guy focus more on the feelings of love for his partner, or more on the way her boobs bounce while she's riding him? But balance it out a bit - not too many sentences on bouncing boobs!
Then my last thought is to read some of the great authors on Lush, and figure out how they do it (check out the "favourite author" or "favourite story" threads, and go from there). If the story does it well, then you may need to read it again to try to figure out why it works (since you may be distracted a little the first time through...) Then try not to get disheartened if your story doesn't seem as good as theirs...just try to get a bit better each time.
And hopefully some of those great authors might add their thoughts here too...
Forum Kan-Guru
Hi everyone,
I've lurked around here a bit, but then read the trusty barkeep's comments in another thread saying that there were "no standards", so I figured I might even fit in.
Nice place you've got here Mr Foreskin, and it sounds like you've got a well-stocked bar. Just recently, I was lurking by the storeroom while some of your trusty helpers were doing a stock inventory (I think). At least, someone was saying, "Yes. Yes. Yes. YES!!" So it sounds like they found everything they were looking for.
Anyway, it's too early here to drink, so I'll just have a beer
PS: Have you heard that there are 10 types of people in the world - those that understand binary, and those that don't.
It's an oldie but...actually, mostly just an oldie...
I've lurked around here a bit, but then read the trusty barkeep's comments in another thread saying that there were "no standards", so I figured I might even fit in.
Nice place you've got here Mr Foreskin, and it sounds like you've got a well-stocked bar. Just recently, I was lurking by the storeroom while some of your trusty helpers were doing a stock inventory (I think). At least, someone was saying, "Yes. Yes. Yes. YES!!" So it sounds like they found everything they were looking for.
Anyway, it's too early here to drink, so I'll just have a beer
PS: Have you heard that there are 10 types of people in the world - those that understand binary, and those that don't.
It's an oldie but...actually, mostly just an oldie...
Forum Kan-Guru
Quote by sprite
i am still working out the kinks...
A kinky time machine could be just what we need around here. But I think Liz's point was that, once you've got everything working perfectly, an older-looking sprite* could swing by five minutes from now and pick us all up...you are building one of those models that's bigger on the inside than on the outside, aren't you?
*Assuming that sprites actually age - either way, I'm sure we will all be too polite and/or too scared to comment...
Forum Kan-Guru
Quote by browncoffee
now i feel selfish for forcing you to stay in the bedroom.
Hey, I like the bedroom. Any time you want me there...oh, and I wouldn't even mind you calling me "awesome" there
I'm torn as to whether to point people towards the thread announcing the current competition, or just allow them to get entirely the wrong idea...