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RumpleForeskin
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 79
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to we, the Rumplators Pingless barflies. Me, I'm hoping he drops back in soon but most of all I hope whatever hitch has gotten into his get-along will be resolved or at least eased a bit.

The tea kettle and Big Bertha have been cleaned and primed and are now doing their thing. Since we made it through Tuesday, there's a batch of left over salted peanuts available at a most reasonable cost. Those wishing something a bit stronger than coffee or tea might want to consider our lineup of beaucoup beers, winning wines and our ever popular, fine lickers.

So while we wait for Tonya, Curvy, and or Carl to show up, whadda y'all wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings on this somewhat less than auspicious Tuesday. Daddy-D, Carl has become the doughnut man around here and hasn't dropped by today. Makes me a bit worried. However, feel free to run out and requisition a couple dozens for the rest of us.

Any word on the next writing contest? Me, I'd still like to have one that encourages newbies to enter. Maybe all can enter but only those who have never been crowned with success can finish in the top three -- or something like that.

Now with Big Bertha's blessed brew in my mug and some of Curvy's brownies in the other, I'll join Coma and Tose to reflect on the good ol' days, for instance way back in 2019.

So who needs a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
James, low-balling trolls are beneath contempt. LUSH has an option to request comments on any five vote. Personally, I'd love it if there could be one that required a comment on votes of one or two.

I noticed that low-score earlier but haven't yet voted etc. I'm sure it'll rate a five when I do, of course. But even knowing some single-digit IQ troll done did the deed, a troll low-ball is still aggravating, kinda like persistent jock itch.

Ya want a drink? It's on the house, unless I remember to slip it onto Carls tab.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Over in Stories Space, (aka: Sacre Bleu) I've posted some themed calls for submissions with February deadlines. Subjects include, but are not limited to: Queer Gothic, and Good Southern Witches. Here's the link...

https://forum.storiesspace.com/

Truth be told, while I may have dated one or two of the latter back in my sportin' days, Queer Gothic is new to me and either appealing or appalling, maybe both. Anyway, check 'em out if so inclined.

Anybody need a drink?

.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Master Jonathan has just posted 'My Girl Gina the first of a three part series which has earned a coveted, RRR. But here's the thing, Kimmi has given it a thoughtful, 'Three Squealer" rating in her comments.

Being a clueless old country boy, I'm wondering what the scale is for 'Squealer' ratings. I Mean, is the scale, 1-3 as I suspect or is it a five-point deal. Any sage wisdom, counsel and advice would be appreciated and, considering the possible responders, dang surprising. ;)

Many thanks to Curvy for the brownies and to Carl for the doughnuts. Anybody need a drink or maybe a refill?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and welcome to the first day in February and a Moanday mourning to boot. The US northeast is either buried in snow or dealing with foul weather. Out here in the desert, today's high will be in the mid-70's but it will be cloudy. Just telling it like it is, Rumplators. Wait until this summer and you'll get your revenge. ;)

Big Bertha has been de-slugged (saved for Carl), rinsed out and filled with dark roast coffee and water that came from somewhere. The tea kettle water is from the same source.

Not much in the way of snacks since the inventory was hit hard by the weekend crowd. However, there are some cheese crackers with an indefinite sell-by date for the adventurous and/or starving among us.

Don't forget the bar's memorable drinks menu that includes a variety of off brand beers, woeful whines and our always popular fine lickers.

Me I'm gonna fill my mug,, pass on the crackers, and go join Coma and Tose to discuss the Super Bowl, the fast approaching apocalypse and which will get here first. Anybody want a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
One large glass of ice water magically appears in front of the even hotter than usual, Kimmi.

Sound advice you gave Kimmi, Daddy-D. Since you are not her husband, who knows, she might actually listen to your words of wisdom. ;)

And BTW, James is on the lookout for you. But don't worry. Word has it he's been wormed, had all his shots and is housebroken -- most of the time. ;)

Anybody in need of liquid refreshment?

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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all who enter, especially those who realize this is not as bad as they were warned, but stay anyway.

Thanks to the indispensible Ms Curvy,Big Bertha has been prep in due and ancient form, no doubt with dark roast coffee from New Orleans and water from the Bayou Teche. And tea sippers will rejoice to learn that the mighty kettle is filled and ready to supply all the hot water needed to achieve their satisfaction. And she left an ample supply of her brownies beyond compare. A blessing upon her head -- and the rest of her as well, of course.

Me, I'm gonna fill my 'Deep Hole Fluid Injectors' mug with coffee, grab a brownie or two and go read some filthy Lush fiction to get things stirred up a bit. Anybody need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and all that jazz. It's Saturday (or possibly Sunday way down south),. Do y'all know where your week went? If so keep that info to yourself. The rest of us got troubles of our own. ;)

KC, mega-congrats on your hitting the big C, that is to say, one hundred!.

Which reminds me that KC tacked a signup sheet to the door. That's all well and good but, imo, a bit redundant since Bonnie had already nailed her panties up there. Just saying.

It is a goodness to have the Gracie and Daddy show make an appearance.

Carl, with all these hot babes hanging around, this joint don't need no fireplace. However, best I recall there's a cranky old electric space heater, nicknamed 'The Terminator' back in the stock room. It ain't big but it is most unreliable. Feel free to give it a try.

With KC paying for all the drinks (KC, you are paying, right?) it's time to break out the Safeway brand scotch and party hard. So whadda ya deadbeats, free-loaders and literary lowlifes wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Kimmi, congrats on making a new friend. For one of the few times in the history of drunken debauchery, dang near everyone here was telling you the truth aboutTerance being an old softie. And to reward you putting on some bloomers, here's your big hot chocolate without mini-marshmallows.

TG, glad to have you back in circulation. Care for a warming cup of tea?

Jeff, here's your coffee. Glad that long drive went well.

Anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and best wishes from the management and staff of Rumplations for all who enter to have a joyous TGIF-type day.

My thanks to the Jameson fan club, that would be Carl and James, for getting things squared away this morning.

Vanessa, get mo' better real quick like. You hear me young lady? And the same goes for puny Gill.

Martin, there is an opening for night porter.

Has anyone been in touch with Tonya, our A+ Ultra Jersey girl?

And in closing, just one question for the femme fatales sitting on top of the bar -- youse guys got drawers on?

Time for Big Bertha's blessed brew and a handfull of goodies. Anybody needing a drink should take it up with the three graces gracing our bar. ;)
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Kimmi, approximately a million or so apologies for my failing to give you a proper welcome and warning to Rumplations. Truth be told, there were so many newbies logging in I lost tract of who had gotten the orientation -- not to mention the one and only free, if very small -- beer bestowed on newbies.

While Sarah is right that Terance is harmless, some folks have been known to experience a fright when he comes out of the hot nut machine looking for whoever disturbed his power nap.

BTW, you want the introductory very small free beer?

eta: Many thanks to the Pingster-unit for his mis-informative assistance.

Anybody else need a slug or two of the good stuff?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
(slides big mug filled with hot chocolate over to Tricky) Swill it in good health. There's a stash of mini-marshmallows somewhere under the bar - the hiding place keeps shifting - if you're interested. Our mini-marshmallow fans won't mind my sharing some of it with you, probably.

Don't recall much these days, including whether we've met. If not, congrats to you and condolences to me. I'm Rumple, the balind barkeep and source of all profound wisdom and knowledge -- assuming we can ever locate any of those elusive (illusionary?) qualities.

* standard warning to all newbies * With the lid to the hot pistachio machine broken, it is tempting to sample some that way instead of investing actual money to receive a handful all lawful like. BUT, you are hereby warned that, Terance the Tarantula, our head of security has been known to burrow down among them for a power nap and he gets most agitato when poked by someone's felonious fingers disturbing his rest.

Tricky, you ready for a refill on that hot chocolate? Any of the rest of you low-brow literary types want something to drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all gropers and gropees. The tea kettle has been refilled and should be ready in time for any sudden wave of cries for hot chocolate refills.

With all the fuss about Emma's Mantis, no doubt the question will soon arise as to whether or not Rumplations would benefit from the introduction of a beaucoup bad-assed desert scorpion.

Now I'm gonna prepare a mug full of 'Rumplations Rejuvenator' (Big Bertha's coffee plus hot chocolate, enhanced with a stiff slug of, Beaver Breath Brandy), then grab a handful of goodies and go seek a bit of sage wisdom and advice from Coma and Tose on this and other subjects of dubious importance and even less interest. Anybody want a drink of something or maybe other?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
The Pingster, he said: Rump, did you ever finish construction of the Roman vomitorium out back? Or do we still use Verbs minivan?

* please say mini-van, he says with fingers crossed *

Me, 'Rumple the ever obliging, said: Glad to help, 'mini-van'.However, the mini-van is just about max'ed out after all the recent celebrations. That means your big-ass black Caddy Escalade, you know, the one you 'borrowed from those US guvmint folks last time you were south of the border,will soon need to be requisitioned for the duration.

Don't know if you can wrangle a tax break out of claiming this is a charitable donation, but since this is one helluva non-profit outfit, it might be worth a try.

Me, I'm gonna have a small nightcap, probably a quart sized Sazarack. Anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all who celebrate and sympathy to all who are celibate.

Big Bertha has been hosed down, filled with fine dark roast coffee and water from the garden hose and then put to work. Meanwhile, the tea kettle is filled with water from the same source and is cranking up its temp.

There is a generous supply of individual bags of salted peanuts for those on the lookout for approaching Vogons.

Had a hail storm out here in the so-called valley of the sun. It plus high wind and rain closed a bunch of highways but in comparison to what folks in northern Alabama are facing after last night's tornados, it's a snap. Y'all keep fingers, toes, eyes, etc. crossed for Sarah to have good luck as the storm is heading her way.

BTW, someone mentioned a beer garden. Rumplations does have one, sorta, only it's called the back porch and the plant life includes rag weeds, poison ivy and some suspicious looking plants.

I'll drink to all that. Anybody else ready for some of Big Bertha's blessed brew or maybe tea, hot chocolate and don't forget our bleers, whines and fine lickers.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
At the risk of annoying certain Rumplators currently wallowing in the ongoing,-depth discussion of 'A-Holes' -- I have a link for youse guys.

As has already been mentioned, today is the national holiday of both India and Australia. However, today is also the national day of -- SCOTLAND -- that is to say, as James mentioned some time ago, this is Robert Burns birthday! Anyway, came across a relatively long article about this day and Robert Burns Night celebrations (it involves haggis, other Scots edible delights and lots of Scotch whiskey. Check it out if you get a chance.

https://www.bing.com/search?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thedailybeast.com%2Fburns-night-the-scotch-holiday-we-all-could-use-right-now&cvid=250383cadf6847098c84cb3840176436&FORM=ANAB01&PC=HCTS

If the link doesn't work Google Robert Burns Night and scroll down until you come to the Daily Beast link that includes the honored day.

I'm thinking we may still have a bottle or two of Safeway Scotch Whiskey (honest) somewhere in the deepest recesses of the stockroom if anyone feels brave enough to search.

But I'll drink to that, even if it's with a single-malt version of the noble elixir. So who else needs a drink?

.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
It is now Australia Day in Sydney.

Today is also 'Republic Day' in India. It celebrates the day, back in 1950, when India became a republic.

Meanwhile, Estonia's next Prime Minister will be the countries first female PM, Raja Kallas.

And at some time today, send prayers, best wishes, etc. to Alexei Navalny, the Russian dissident leader who is currently under arrest in Putan'sversion of the gulag.

And that's today's world news headlines.

Time for a refill of the brew Big Bertha and Michelle have provided. Anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings, y'all. I'd acknowledge tthe folks who have checked in earlier but there's jus too dang many for my mind to grasp and keep hold of. There's a witchy brew gurgling in Big Bertha which seems to be making her most happy.

Mega-congrats to Carl for his KC Chiefs whipping up on the Bills from Buffalo. They'll now face the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in two weeks at the Super Bowl, which just happens to be in Tampa Bay this year. For the Bucs quarterback, Tom Brady, it'll be his tenth Super Bowl start.

The thought of a naked photo of me is beyond the known boundaries of good taste and several clauses of the Geneva Convention regarding crimes against humanity.

Happy Birthday, Australia!

Now let me fill my mug with that witchy brew. Brownies and doughnuts not having arrived, let me suggest a bag of fried pork skins to get you going in the right way. So who wants a drink and some pork skins?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Don't know if you 'light dependent lifeforms' are aware of this, but there now exists the computer-based capability to attempt a description of objects in photos. However, this technology has not yet achieved perfection. Case in point: Emma's new bug is being described as: 'appears to be: house fly' which, being blessed with the superior descriptions given by Rumplators, strikes me as being more about a consumable than the consumer, so to speak, honest. ;).

I'm about to be drinking to that. Anybody else need one?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Rumplators, especially 'Think Tank' addicts, searching for the perfect unique put down to that obnoxious flamer with constipation of the brain and diarrhea of the mouth might want to consider:

retromingent propagandist

The insult came up today in Charlie Sikes article in 'The Bulwark' a leading Never Trump site.

"Sean Hannity calls the new president "the weak, the frail, the cognitively struggling Biden" – which reminds us that Hannity remains a retromingent propagandist, and a silly, unserious man."

Since most Rumplators can 'grok' the meaning, I'll omit any definition and suggest you might consult 'The Urban Dictionary' or Verbal, the ever literate,if needed.

Hope this has been of some help, honest.

Past time for a refill of Big Bertha's ambrosia (thanks be to Tonya). Anybody else beside Jeff need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings on this the first full day with Joe Biden occupying the White House. smile

Vanessa has posted the third installment in the 'Wear the Ring' series. While the m/f sex is satisfyingly sordid, what makes it a standout is the self-analysis by the Fiona, the stories cheating wife. Anyway, all three are good and can stand alone. Check 'em out.

The responses to the video of the Australian pole dancer reminded me that the somewhat haphazard inventory here at Rumplations at one time included the pole from the old firehouse which had been adapted for the use of limber, athletically and rhythmically inclined folks. Y'all might wanna check with our dancer-in-chief, that would be, Curvy.

Lucky, hang in there. I've only been to Arlington once and that was just a brief visit to check it out and pay my respects. IMO, it is America's most hallowed ground. If I ever return, it'll be to stay with my ashes and my wife's mixed together. But that's a decision I've left to our three kids.

Anyway, who needs a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Rach, Larry is prone to ordering a Virgin Hannah. Wanna give it a try? If not, I can whip up a wicked 'Shirley Temple' and there's the always in style Perrier or as we call it out here in the boondocks, club soda.

Carl, we got a six pack of Royal Crown Cola. Is that the answer to your needs?

So what'll ya have?

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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Rach, that 22-year old poet damn near stole the show. Both she and her poem were stronger than lye soap. ;)

So, ya wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Evening from out here in the desert.

Xander, liquor is optional not a requirement. Some Rumplators don't drink due to medications or they're on the wagon or just don't like the stuff. So sweat it not. If this land could survive four-years with a non-drinker in the White House, putting up with you is, by comparison, a snap.

Now about that new kitten and HER name. In the movie 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' wasn't Holly Golightly's feline named, 'Cat'?

Now the call for a celebratory cocktail or two would seem to be in order. anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all who gather together to celebrate 'Liberation (from Trump) Day.

*NEWS FLASHH* Trump has entered the Marine One helicopter and it has lifted off, taking him away from the White House, hopefully for the last time.*end of news flash*


Now back to porn and other more important and traditional Rumplation interests. I'm here to testify that I have read,enjoyed and can even recommend James's new biker gangbang story written at the behest of another, much shyer, Rumplator. Check it out.

Time for coffee, doughnuts and brownies and
some time at the corner table with Coma and Tose and savor the departure of Air Force One.

Anybody else need a drink?


.,
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Larry, anyone who shares a birthday with Dolly Parton is okay by me, for now. ;)

We 'senior' Rumplators (as in, you, Carl, and me) have put up with a lot to make it this far. I mean to say we're just : run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old porn writers who have been: beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up, who keep hanging around just to find out what the hell happens next.

Yeah, I copied that from my profile - but dang if it didn't seem to fit the occasion.
But seriously, more or less, here's hoping you have a most HAPPY BIRTHDAY

And I'll drink to that. Anybody else want a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all on this, the last Tuesday during the mis-rule of Donald Trump. ;)

My Saints lost to the Tampa Bay Bucks in the NFL playoffs on Sunday. The loss marks the end of the team's season and probably the 20-year career of quarterback, Drew Brees. He will be missed. sad

Thought this crowd might find this interesting:
Dr. Rachel Levine, a pediatrician, has been nominated to serve as Assistant Health Secretary by President-elect Joe Biden and would become the first openly transgender federal official to be confirmed by the U.S. Senate.

That's one more Rach for us to pull for. ;)

Think a mug full of Big Bertha's blessed brew along with a sampling of doughnuts and brownies should keep me going for the time being.

Anybody out there need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Carl's KC Chiefs got by a feisty Cleveland Browns outfit, 22-17 but the chiefs all-world young quarterback was knocked out of the game.

The Saints and Bucs game begins in a few minutes. If my Saints win, I'll probably check in after the game to gloat. On the other hands, if my Saints get robbed, again, by the refs or lose some other way I'll just go to bed and sulk.

So anybody want a drink?

.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Xander, go ahead and give that line a try. Maybe the age of miracles hasn't passed. ;)

Hang in there, Emma. Enduring this plague has been like being in a boxing match where you absorb a constant series of body blows. They hurt like hell and wear you down but don't show the damage.

Best wishes to Carl and his KC Chiefs in their playoff game this afternoon verses the Cleveland Browns who are a 10-point underdog. After that game outside in the cold of Kansas City, my Saints will face Tampa Bay inside the Superdome down in New Orleans.

Lucky, we've been needing more Chicago-land dragonflies around here. Glad you decided to land among us. ;)

So who needs a drink?
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