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Tashtego
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male
United States
Forum
Advanced Wordsmith
JEM,
Obviously, I don't know you so I'm not qualified to comment on what your problem might be if, in fact, you have one. I did want to offer a couple of thoughts.
You asked about the role of self esteem and confidence on the male side of the equation. There is definitely something to that. As civilized and enlightened as we all think we are, I don't believe we can avoid the primal aspect of sexual relationships. Most men just want to feel like the Alpha. I believe being with a higher earner would bother most guys at some level. Some guys can deal with it; others can't, or don't want to. It is probably a more frequent situation in this shitty economic environment. Just another strain that couples have to deal with.
You didn't mention where you go to meet men. Sounds obvious but, if you want to meet a certain type of man, try to figure out where they are. I don't mean bars. Well, not necessarily, that is. For example, if you like men who are socially conscious and active, join those organizations. Like the artsy type? Well, start hitting gallery openings. Bottom line: get out there.
Final comment. It is probably not a coincidence that you met a compatible guy once you resigned yourself to stop trying. What does that tell you? I don't mean that you should become a shut in (see previous paragraph). I mean that you don't want to give off a desperate or needy vibe. Guys do NOT want to be cornered. They want to be the pursuer (see paragraph two).
Anyway, that's my two cents. You sound great, by the way. I am new here so I haven't read your stuff yet. I plan to do that very soon.
Best,
T
Obviously, I don't know you so I'm not qualified to comment on what your problem might be if, in fact, you have one. I did want to offer a couple of thoughts.
You asked about the role of self esteem and confidence on the male side of the equation. There is definitely something to that. As civilized and enlightened as we all think we are, I don't believe we can avoid the primal aspect of sexual relationships. Most men just want to feel like the Alpha. I believe being with a higher earner would bother most guys at some level. Some guys can deal with it; others can't, or don't want to. It is probably a more frequent situation in this shitty economic environment. Just another strain that couples have to deal with.
You didn't mention where you go to meet men. Sounds obvious but, if you want to meet a certain type of man, try to figure out where they are. I don't mean bars. Well, not necessarily, that is. For example, if you like men who are socially conscious and active, join those organizations. Like the artsy type? Well, start hitting gallery openings. Bottom line: get out there.
Final comment. It is probably not a coincidence that you met a compatible guy once you resigned yourself to stop trying. What does that tell you? I don't mean that you should become a shut in (see previous paragraph). I mean that you don't want to give off a desperate or needy vibe. Guys do NOT want to be cornered. They want to be the pursuer (see paragraph two).
Anyway, that's my two cents. You sound great, by the way. I am new here so I haven't read your stuff yet. I plan to do that very soon.
Best,
T