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TheDevilsWeakness
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female
Canada

Forum

I've done both.
I posed for art students at a college a few years ago and my ex-boyfriend and I owned our own photography studio for five years.
I have a charcoal sketch from one of the students that I love. I framed it and keep it on the wall in my bedroom.
I used to have my own pics on my profile page at one time, but pulled them down for various reasons.
The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration."
"You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine."
"The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed.
He wondered if he had anything to live for.
He had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person.
He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
The big problem was that he felt as if he was no longer a "whole man".

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... A new suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said.
Joe tried on the suit; it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"
Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see... 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck."
Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years."
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop, and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"
Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure."
The salesman said, "Let's see... size 36."
Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."
Quote by Magical_felix



This made my penis soft.


Penis?!?! Who said anything about a PENIS?
I thought this was about cooking a bird...
Quote by Magical_felix
How do you like cock?


big or small?

Cute or manly?

Cut or uncut ?



And does size really matter?


Hmmm... how do I like it? Roasted or BBQ'd
Size? 8 or 9lbs is suffice
Cute or manly? Plucked is always better, I say - Less mess
And I can cut it... I have a good sharp knife

Quote by sprite


we should have a contest: guess the next profession biggrin


I think I'm gonna go with nicola's stalker since he keeps coming back

Oh wait you said GUESS the next profession...
Quote by Dudealicious


Oh babe I totally hear you on that one. Don't worry babe, I got your back


You're strange, but you're not a stranger PumpkinBooBooPrecious!
And I know ALL about you "having my back"

Maybe I'll just stick with Smart Ass as your pet name, its easier to type
I agree with LittleBambi and CG...
You better be a close friend to get away with it or expect the reprecussions...
I've been known to get snarky when called "Babe" by a stranger
Quote by MissyLuvsYa
He should be thankful that I was kind. I had a little pistol on my purse and I didn't shoot him.


HAHAHA!! There's a story in there somewhere Missy! I wish I had one of them on this date...

Back in my bartending days, I was setup with this guy, through friends. (I'm still wondering if they were my friends)
When he picked me up that night he made a comment about how the backseat was off limits *wink, wink* since he had 2 tires sitting in it (makes me wonder what he had in the trunk of his car if the tires were in the backseat) and could I take off my shoes since he didn't want me to mark up his new floormats. (They were nothing special as far as I could see)
Normally, I won't make any judgement on how people look, but for godsakes shower, comb your hair and wear clean clothes. I think he doused himself in Febreze and shitty cologne before picking me up.
He thought appropriate first date conversation was to talk about his "bitch whore ex" all the way to the restaurant.
He blew his nose and picked his teeth at the table while sucking back whiskey after whiskey. I lost count after the 6th one.
He was rude and surly to our server. He left a $2 tip on a $110 bill. As a bartender and a customer, the server did absolutely nothing wrong except tolerate his behaviour, but then so did I.
After dinner was over (I offered to pay half - just so I could slip the server an extra $20 for putting up with this dick) he insisted he pay since I'd "owe him", but I could buy the first round of jagerbombs and beer at the local dive bar he planned on taking me to.
I didn't have to fake an upset stomach - the guy was literally making me sick - I bolted from the restaurant and flagged down a cab.
I was told "You're just another stupid bitch" when I turned him down for a second date. I figured I'd be the stupid one if I said yes.
I have a certain weakness for red-headed guys. (Eric Stoltz comes to mind...)
I don't know why, I just find some of them sexy as hell. I can sit and stare for hours.
Toss in some icy-blue eyes and I'm totally hooked...
Sorry LM
but I've been extremely offended by the whole thread and the garbage spewed by the now deleted acct against some of our more forgiving members at Lush...
It would be nice to get back to the original topic at hand and have some fun again - just my opinion - take it or leave it
Boys... really?
An innocent question by the OP and this turns into a flamewar with everyone dissecting what everyone says.
Go haunt your own thread in Ask the Guys... or better yet... go get heavy in the Think Tank with this shit!

This is making it no fun to play in the forums
Quote by alrightalright
I'd remove the "contact us" service cos it's useless. I sent there a message recently but "Pixie" couldn´t bother to answer.

I'd use the same system as Literotica on the audio stories, ie, each story should be read by his/her author. (got nothing about that lady, but it gets boring after a while)

I'd ban Nicola for being a pain in the ass and being obsessed about her "ownership of the site" power trips.

Do it and you'll have a great site in no time.

PS. Ban Dudalicious too, he seems a bit corny with that Colin Farrel avatar.


Uhhh and how is this Lush Etiquette???


Damn... someone's testing the new years resolution, aren't they?
chanting to myself Breathe in through the mouth and out through the nose
Once I've finished a complete and in-depth study of all races and how they are in bed I'll get back to you with my preferences.
I've kept it completely fair and started with A... working on J, K, L and M now.

For now, lets just go with - I like men... Period.
I think of Lush as a great big Wedding Reception...
All different kinds of generations and cultures mingling, laughing and partying

If your gonna crash the party... Get to know the people there.
Put on your best attire and attitude.
Only grope the Bride/Groom if they ask for it.
Don't pee in the fake potted plants.
Don't pick your nose.
Keep your elbows off the table.
Don't wait to be asked to dance... get off your ass.
Get to know the Bridesmaid/Groomsmen before taking them home (they could be )

And IF you get drunk and do something stupid. We will, eventually, forgive you.
... BUT we won't ever let you live it down
Quote by Dudealicious


I must ask you if you have told your current partner about our effing hot cyber sessions at all muffin?


Ummm... it was him the last time... I wasn't home
Quote by gpjunk
I don't think the moves that work for a woman, swaying hips, bending over, etc, work for a guy.

So what would be your idea of a good lapdance from a guy?


It could work if you feed me alcohol, have change for dollar bills and maybe have a few of my friends around.
Better yet, get a few of your friends and make it a lapdance competition.
I'll be the judge. Who else is with me?
Quote by Beck
Thanks. Its like this. If she asks me I'm going to be honest and open with her. I'm not gonna go meet the person wherever they are.
I may not be very bright but I'm not that stupid.


IF SHE ASKS???

How can she ask about it if you HIDE it from her?

I'm always open and honest about it with my partner. BECAUSE I TOLD HIM. Thats being open and honest.

If I was your partner and you never mentioned it and I found out about it - I'd kick your ass to the curb - What else are you hiding if you can't come right out and tell them what you're doing?

Maybe its your choice of words but I'm not entirely sure about the stupid part if this is how you're thinking...
Quote by WellMadeMale
There's a slut-test on OKCupid? That site was lamer than lame a decade ago. Sounds like they are trying to become the new Plenty of Fish !


Oh pffft... your just jealous cause they took your question and answer sheet and called it the slut test
BTW I upgraded... here's your copy of my newest questionnaire


Great question...

I've always been baffled by the ever-so-great position of '69'
I don't get "it"?
I have no issue with giving or receiving oral.
But really? At the same time?
Maybe I'm not that great of a multi-tasker or I prefer to concentrate on one thing at a time but I always find it awkward and never really enjoy giving or receiving while doing it.
While online and on my computer and browsing the forums - I was randomly logged out of Lush when flipping from one section to another
I was still logged into the forums... but no access to my mail or anything
Just thought I'd mention it this quirk...
Good girl? Meh... probably not.

By day, I'm a strong-willed, loud and opinionated woman. I have a filthy sense of humor and I'm not afraid to show it.
I work with men, bossing them around all day. My best friend is a guy. And I've never been your typical "suzy homemaker" type. But I'm the 1st one they come to for a recipe or if they need something hemmed or fixed. (Men are helpless sometimes)
What MIGHT surprise them is the fact I'm quite submissive behind closed doors...
The question is:
Do you hide this activity from your partner? If its yes, its violating the trust you have with each other and I would consider that cheating.
If, like me, its a no. My partner fully understands I may engage in it from time to time to keep myself "amused".
Its not a replacement for our sex life but an enhancement or a temporary solution for times we're apart.
I don't bring other men to bed, but while the cat is away this mouse is allowed to play. At a distance.
I never got to know LMB personally but I always loved reading her comments in the forums.
I hope she's doing well and can come back (sometime) and join us.
All the best to her. smile
Many of the fabulous authors on Lush.
I don't have to name names because I've voted and made comments on their stories.
I'd like to see if their imagination is as great as their story telling.
Male and female alike. I'm sure I could be taught a few things. And vice versa.
Quote by sprite


lol - damn these different time zones! *hops on the 9:05, beads holstered* ima comming, hold the boat!


Wait.. wait... WAIT!!

We should be selling tickets. We should, at the very least, be making a quick buck or two out of this.
Quote by sprite


the anal bead champ? *giggles* i demand a bead off! anal beads at high noon, girl! biggrin


Its ON like Donkey Kong!
And its now noon... I'm waiting!!