Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Good morning you lovable scoundrels, is there a term for female scoundrels. Hmm. I Don't know.
Anyway I'm getting off point. Time to work off my bar bill once again.
Slips behind the bar, empties Big Bertha, keeps the dregs and gets her ready for another busy day.
The kettle gets refilled and started boiling, and the bar gets a good wipe down.
Honestly at least there aren't boot prints on it this time.
Right I have Apple flapjacks, little Portugese custard tarts and because Carl needs something substantial after the game some lovely chicken and ham pies.
Puts a small sign on the bar -The Witch is- and slides the window across -IN-
Bring me your troubles, your naughty girls needing a spanking and your drinks orders folks.
Now Terance you've been a good spider so I brought you a plate with crickets, locusts and a stunned mouse or two.
Yes you're a very polite spider and if you keep being good the treats keep coming.
I hear Carl might be a little tender this morning so I'm keeping a few extra large hugs for him today.
Yes Kimmi no snickering from the back there. You may have beaten your sister but Carl is my poetry coach and if he's too shook up to kick my ass into gear I won't get my comp entry done. So be nice.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Hi Erin, welcome to Lush.
Writing is a solitary thing and it can feel lonely at times.
I highly recommend you pop over to the Pub Forum and visit Rump Bar.
It's full of writers who really love to help us new arrivals to find out feet, give us a place to let off steam and make some wonderful friends.
Do pop along and visit us, I'd love to introduce you to the folks down there.
Your first drink is on me.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
I love you people, thank you for sparing me lots of wasted time.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Yes but I'm terrible at poker.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Happens for me too but I figured it was my dodgy web link.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Skips joyfully in, gets behind the bar and starts tinkering. Big Bertha is carefully emptied, the sludge kept for Carl. Fresh spring water poured in a new bag of fresh coffee beans poured into the hopper to make superb coffee. The big kettle gets a good scrub and a refill, before being put on the boil. All the glasses,mugs and plates are carelessly thrown in the sink when it's all full a ripple in the air as the fumes, smoke and dust form into a figure that scrubs every single item spotlessly clean, putting it neatly away.
Puts a tray of properly authentic Turkish sugar preserved fruit on the counter.
The pink ones have rose water, the orange ones orange blossom, the green ones have pistachio and the blue ones are just fruit flavoured.
Places a tray of buttermilk scones, plain and with dried fruit.
Because of the day that's in it I very nicely asked a friend to make me a huge batch of Kansas BBQ coming in later today.
In honour of the superb Carl I'm going to support Kansa today. Go Chiefs!!
Right folks, I'm giving Miss Curvy a morning off what can I get you drunken animals to drink?
Terence don't twitch your hairy legs at me like that, I changed the heating element last night so it didn't burn your little hairs.
Yes I know it feels different, it also doesn't make the place smell like burnt fur.
I brought you a treat, I brought a plate of crickets for you to munch. See I'm not all bad you know, yes you can eat them.
No please don't try and give me a hug. We're not that kind of friends. I'm being very brave Terence and not running away sobbing or reaching for my compressed air canister and zippo. Just saying.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Aaahhhhh. I see. Thank you!
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
I may be a very Silly Goose but I cant find how to send an invite to join a group.
I could set the group to being open but I'd prefer to know who is popping in.
I haven't seen anything on how to do that but I might just be looking in the wrong place.
Anyone able to nudge me where to go for this?
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
I'm in a daring mood, kiss your ass.
Just to see how you respond.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Gets the beers in, thirsty work playing all this pool.