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Verbal
1 month ago
Straight Male
0 miles · Colorado
Forum
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Haven't gotten too sucked into the baseball playoffs this year. Rooting or the Dodgers, but mostly theoreticallly as I will at most watch a game or two.
Started season 4 of American Horror Story. The first episode is worth the price of admission for the version of Bowie's "Life On Mars" that Jessica Lange sings (or lip-syncs anyway). Good show. Uneven but good.
My writers group told me All The Things I was doing wrong with Amazon keywords. So, my advice is, if you read something on a Reddit thread, make sure you get corroboration first.
Tired. Köffee please.
Just put a quater in the juke.
Started season 4 of American Horror Story. The first episode is worth the price of admission for the version of Bowie's "Life On Mars" that Jessica Lange sings (or lip-syncs anyway). Good show. Uneven but good.
My writers group told me All The Things I was doing wrong with Amazon keywords. So, my advice is, if you read something on a Reddit thread, make sure you get corroboration first.
Tired. Köffee please.
Just put a quater in the juke.
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
“The next suitable person you’re in light conversation with, you stop suddenly in the middle of the conversation and look at the person closely and say, “What’s wrong?” You say it in a concerned way. He’ll say, “What do you mean?” You say, “Something’s wrong. I can tell. What is it?” And he’ll look stunned and say, “How did you know?” He doesn’t realize something’s always wrong, with everybody. Often more than one thing. He doesn’t know everybody’s always going around all the time with something wrong and believing they’re exerting great willpower and control to keep other people, for whom they think nothing’s ever wrong, from seeing it.”
― David Foster Wallace, The Pale King
― David Foster Wallace, The Pale King
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by sprite
give your woman a kiss for me. can be chaste. can be not so chaste. i'm easy.
Well, it started out chaste....
I am glad to see Scott and Bill state their cases so eloquently over on the word-that-rhymes-with-clue site. I thought the decison controlling, officious and a little moralistic, though I do understand the reasoning behind it. Thanks you two, for getting her to soften her tone. I'm a bit of a newbie there, so won't add my two cents. I don't really do the Forums there (execpt for the thread where everyone but me was saying that foul language has no place in writing or in speech, which seems about par for the course).
It's a good site, with good writing.
Saw a great play this weekend--The Boys Next Door--about four developmentally disabled adults living iin a halfway houuse-ish sort of place where they learn how to navigate society. Moving and funny.
Off to do lawn work. I'd love a cold beer upon my return.
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by RumpleForeskin
Which reminds me to warn all Rumplators who frequent Stories Space, that the use of 'blue' and 'red' as alternative shorthand for SS and Lush will now be met with extreme dis-approbation and become subject to having those terms replaced with something along the lines of 'this site' or 'another site'. Any feedback should be directed to the site's administrator-in-chief.
Srsly?
That's a bit, um, anal. Is it the azure site that does not approve, or the vermillion site?
Date night was yummy. Layla--laying next to me as I type this--says hi.
Kòffėę please.
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Thankd for the jo, Tonya.
Curvy, you changed your avatar!
Went to my writers group last night. Great group of folks. We don't critique, we talk aboout writing problems, marketing, genre issues (they are mostly sci-fi, horror and fantasy, but see erotica as just another genre, which makes me feel comfortable). I learned a bunch about release dates, pre-sales, keywords (in a nutshell, Amazon gives you 7 keyword slots, go for the narrowest search terms you can think of, find your own very specific niche).
I described my first roadblock in the Serious Moonlight project (the Shards, since renamed) over on the Shardoverse thread. https://forum.lushstories.com/yaf_postsm3149555_The-Shardoverse.aspx#3149555.
There's also a link there to a free Selling Erotica on Amazon webinar.
So, yeah, kinda obsessed with writing lately. But toniht is...DATE NIGHT! And we are seeing a play tomorrow.
Köffee please.
Hope everyone has an excellent weekend.
Curvy, you changed your avatar!
Went to my writers group last night. Great group of folks. We don't critique, we talk aboout writing problems, marketing, genre issues (they are mostly sci-fi, horror and fantasy, but see erotica as just another genre, which makes me feel comfortable). I learned a bunch about release dates, pre-sales, keywords (in a nutshell, Amazon gives you 7 keyword slots, go for the narrowest search terms you can think of, find your own very specific niche).
I described my first roadblock in the Serious Moonlight project (the Shards, since renamed) over on the Shardoverse thread. https://forum.lushstories.com/yaf_postsm3149555_The-Shardoverse.aspx#3149555.
There's also a link there to a free Selling Erotica on Amazon webinar.
So, yeah, kinda obsessed with writing lately. But toniht is...DATE NIGHT! And we are seeing a play tomorrow.
Köffee please.
Hope everyone has an excellent weekend.
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
So. Hit my first road block. It concerns Amazon standards for erotica.
I watched a full two hour presentation on selling erotica on Amazon. Really useful. https://amyharrop.com/pages/jjerplay/ There is a counter up top counting down two days, so the link may disappear in two days.
Anyway. Turns out there are few things that can get you in Amazon jail (banned or excluded from search results) as far as content, and they are about what you'd expect: beastiality, , non-consent (the cool kids call it non-con for short). BUT...covers are trickier. No nudity, no implied nudity (hands covering breasts), no side boob (that made me laugh), no sexual situations (silouette of two people fucking, implied oral sex). AND...no ropes, chains, or handcuffs, because that implies non-consent. Which totally fucks me over because my cover image was gonnna be this:
This gets trickier. The image below WAS allowed, even though it is far racier (and stupider) than my image, because while it contains handcuffs, they are not attached to anything, so non-consent is not implied. So you can use ropes, chains, or handcuffs, if it doesn't look like they someone is being controlled. Not sure if my image will pass or not. The woman is holding her own chain, so that shouldn't imply non-consent.
We are gonna try for a tamer version of the original cover.
In other news: launch date is in February. Here is my social media line-up.
I have a website: https://jgcain.com/
I have an amazon author page: https://www.amazon.com/author/jgcain (probably need to change images on this too) (the book cover is my own clumsy beta attempt, it will not be the one we use)
I have a fledgling Tumblr: https://jgcain.tumblr.com/ (I gotta remember to not simply reblog a pic, but try to point some traffic to the site)
I have a FB: https://www.facebook.com/jgcain23/
Okay. More later.
EDIT: Ooh, one more thing - Julie Slink pointed out the Reddit thread on erotica writing to me, and it has a TON of useful info on it. https://www.reddit.com/r/eroticauthors/
I watched a full two hour presentation on selling erotica on Amazon. Really useful. https://amyharrop.com/pages/jjerplay/ There is a counter up top counting down two days, so the link may disappear in two days.
Anyway. Turns out there are few things that can get you in Amazon jail (banned or excluded from search results) as far as content, and they are about what you'd expect: beastiality, , non-consent (the cool kids call it non-con for short). BUT...covers are trickier. No nudity, no implied nudity (hands covering breasts), no side boob (that made me laugh), no sexual situations (silouette of two people fucking, implied oral sex). AND...no ropes, chains, or handcuffs, because that implies non-consent. Which totally fucks me over because my cover image was gonnna be this:
This gets trickier. The image below WAS allowed, even though it is far racier (and stupider) than my image, because while it contains handcuffs, they are not attached to anything, so non-consent is not implied. So you can use ropes, chains, or handcuffs, if it doesn't look like they someone is being controlled. Not sure if my image will pass or not. The woman is holding her own chain, so that shouldn't imply non-consent.
We are gonna try for a tamer version of the original cover.
In other news: launch date is in February. Here is my social media line-up.
I have a website: https://jgcain.com/
I have an amazon author page: https://www.amazon.com/author/jgcain (probably need to change images on this too) (the book cover is my own clumsy beta attempt, it will not be the one we use)
I have a fledgling Tumblr: https://jgcain.tumblr.com/ (I gotta remember to not simply reblog a pic, but try to point some traffic to the site)
I have a FB: https://www.facebook.com/jgcain23/
Okay. More later.
EDIT: Ooh, one more thing - Julie Slink pointed out the Reddit thread on erotica writing to me, and it has a TON of useful info on it. https://www.reddit.com/r/eroticauthors/
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Wow, just Googled it, and it sounded like the dead republican brothel owner is very likely to win.
Got my ballot in the mail yesterday. Been waiting 2 years for thee mid-terms. Filled out everything but the judges, who are always a pain to vote for, cuz there's no way to research them. I did vote "Yes" on making slavery illegal (it's still on the books here as cool) and "No" on all the vaguely worded oil and gas company initiatives to allow them to keep drilling and fracking wherever the fuck they want.
Slow writing week, but I got a big chunk of writing done while watching baseball last night. One thing nice about abandoning the shards - I can give my characters names again!
Köffee please.
Got my ballot in the mail yesterday. Been waiting 2 years for thee mid-terms. Filled out everything but the judges, who are always a pain to vote for, cuz there's no way to research them. I did vote "Yes" on making slavery illegal (it's still on the books here as cool) and "No" on all the vaguely worded oil and gas company initiatives to allow them to keep drilling and fracking wherever the fuck they want.
Slow writing week, but I got a big chunk of writing done while watching baseball last night. One thing nice about abandoning the shards - I can give my characters names again!
Köffee please.
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
A lovely sight to see - Tonya, Sara and Grace sharing a pot of tea over in the corner.
Thanks for setting things up, Ms. Tonya. I'll have a köffee, please. Sorry you had a rough night.
It's fun to be writing erotica again. I keep having to remind myself NOT to put a scary face in the mirror or a dead bird in the attic.
Weekender, you beer pairs well with Crème brulee, cheesecake and chocolate-covered cream puffs stuffed with vanilla pastry crème? Sadly the only thing I pair my beer with is beer nuts. Or popcorn. The occasional shot of bourbon.
Hey, whatever happend to Jimwillhavefun? I kinda liked him.
Have a great Wednesday, everyone.
Thanks for setting things up, Ms. Tonya. I'll have a köffee, please. Sorry you had a rough night.
It's fun to be writing erotica again. I keep having to remind myself NOT to put a scary face in the mirror or a dead bird in the attic.
Weekender, you beer pairs well with Crème brulee, cheesecake and chocolate-covered cream puffs stuffed with vanilla pastry crème? Sadly the only thing I pair my beer with is beer nuts. Or popcorn. The occasional shot of bourbon.
Hey, whatever happend to Jimwillhavefun? I kinda liked him.
Have a great Wednesday, everyone.
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Thanks for the köffee Curvy. Extra-sludgy today! Nice!
Tonya, I watched the first two seasons and stopped, but my youngest convinced me to watch season 3 with her. It's kind of hit and miss but overall it's a pretty good show. The Freaks season is next.
Welcome back, Hannah B. Of course we noticed your absence. We missed you. And you've got an ebook on Amazon! Yay! You've got a new story up too, with an RR - I loook forward to it. I licked your throne not at all. I have changed my ways, and now lick Terrence the tarantula, who seems to enjoy it.
I have a new horror flash up on Blue: https://www.storiesspace.com/stories/flash-fiction/clockwork.aspx.
Hope everyone is doing well.
Tonya, I watched the first two seasons and stopped, but my youngest convinced me to watch season 3 with her. It's kind of hit and miss but overall it's a pretty good show. The Freaks season is next.
Quote by browncoffee
Hey everyone. I'm back, I think. Did you notice I was gone? I hope verbal didn't lick my throne too much. I'm going to catch up on everyone's stories asap. Köffee, please.
Welcome back, Hannah B. Of course we noticed your absence. We missed you. And you've got an ebook on Amazon! Yay! You've got a new story up too, with an RR - I loook forward to it. I licked your throne not at all. I have changed my ways, and now lick Terrence the tarantula, who seems to enjoy it.
I have a new horror flash up on Blue: https://www.storiesspace.com/stories/flash-fiction/clockwork.aspx.
Hope everyone is doing well.
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by PhilU
https://forum.lushstories.com//yaf_postsm2857301_Swimming-pool-or-hot-tub-of-cum.aspx
Always happy to help...
Actually, nothing to add... just didn't want Hannah to miss the link
YOU ARE A GOD! We are not worthy.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for finding this thread. I have looked a few times, with no results. I thought I remebered there was a swimming pool involved.
Can we make this a sticky thread? Please? So it will be forever remembered?
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by Psychedelic420
Brutal lol
Sorry for hijacking your thread, dude.
As for the "hot tub of cum" thread, I can't find it, and it may have passed into a Lush Urban Legend at this point.
I'm pretty sure CuriousMonkey started it (and has ben good-natured about my obsession with it). You could ask him.
