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Verbal

2 months ago

Straight Male

0 miles · Colorado

Profile Stories

Forum

24 Aug 2018

Quote by sprite

actually, you can get all sorts of patterns and designs on them, like spirals, smiley emojis, skull and cross bones, etc. and yeah, it would be scary and there would have to be a lot of trust involved. i think that's kind of the point, tho.

and sorry, but what about me screams 'ordinary' and 'vanilla' to you?

Actually my theory is that you are a middle-aged housewife in New Jersey, happily if boringly married to a doughy, balding CPA, with a house and a yard and a white picket fence. You have 2 preternatually normal children and a three-legged dog named Muffin.

I get the fear/trust thing if you are wearing the contacts. It's the idea of fucking a Village-of-the-Damned black eyed demon thing that makes me want to run screaming from the room.

24 Aug 2018

Those sound crazy scary. Not only for the wearer, but the person looking at the wearer. Wouldn't they make your eyes appear full on black, like those demon children in horror movies? No thank you.

Why can't you just use ordinary vanilla blindfolds like the rest of us?

24 Aug 2018

Quote by vanessa26
I am excited that one of my stories finally went famous

I am excited for you! I will read it!

I am looking forward to the future. It's looking so bright, I gotta wear shades.

24 Aug 2018

I use OfficeLibre and have no problems with it. Best free office suite out there. I use MS Word for work and I can flip easily between the two.

24 Aug 2018

Quote by RumpleForeskin
TGIF greetings to all Rumplators with a special 'thanks' to Ms C for getting Big Bertha hot to trot.

Came across this caption on the BBC headline site:
Woman sues US border agents over seized iPhone
Photos of the woman "in a state of undress" were stored on the phone.

Which raises the logical question for Rumplators to ponder:
'What's on your iPhone and, most importantly, does this item have Lush story potential? ;)

My phone is as clean as a whistle, as my kids are always using it. LJ's phone, on the other hand....

And yes, the items have story potential, and yes, the potential had already been tapped.

Happy (belated) birthday Laura, and Godspeed on your next job.

Tonya, I regularly make trips into the land of make believe, and my kids are teens.

Glad it is Friday. Köffee please.

Layla says Hi!

24 Aug 2018

Quote by honeydipped
This post has been hidden as you have blocked this member.

Dude. Seriously.

23 Aug 2018

Gift her more horror movies! Maybe some old fashion Hammer Horror Dracula movies.

23 Aug 2018

Oh, yes.

smile

As the giver.

HYE been day-dreaming when driving and ended up taking the wrong turn and going someplace else entirely?

23 Aug 2018

It's hot here. Cold beer please. Popcorn sounds excellent too - thanks for sweet-talking the machine Sara.

One the home stretch of this story. I've been working on the Damned Thing for 2 frikkin months. I will be happy to finish. Asuming I do.

Glad you enjoyed the states, Scott. Sorry the smoke is bumming you out spritely. Wrong kind of smoke?

How goes the throne wars? I grew weary of the madness and made my out out by the "hot tub." Its an equal opportunity throne - anyone who wants to sit there may.

23 Aug 2018

This Venn diagram is your last one on dangerous mind altering drugs.

23 Aug 2018

When I was younger I'd get Joel Grey and Billy Crystal occasionally.

23 Aug 2018

Quote by IMPÜRETHOUGHTS

I have three.

Gav, JWren and Verbal.

Thanks Nat. I am fond of you, and your persona here, as well.

Dude, these are just a list of barflies who hang out at the bar at Rumps. Probably not the best pool of contestants smile

smile

. I'd vote for the great Rump himself, personally, were I allowed to vote.

23 Aug 2018

The waiter saw the flushed look on her face and knew.

23 Aug 2018

My reading queue doesn't work consistently. Sometimes it adds a story, sometimes it doesn't. I used to really rely on it. Is there a trick to this?

23 Aug 2018

Incredibly prolific (157 stories!?)

23 Aug 2018

Seems like a good, smart, nice guy. He like Pauline Kael! I used to devour her film reviews in the New Yorker back in the day.

23 Aug 2018

Quote by TrinityX
He should be patient, supportive and not squeamish
Relax
Use lubricant
Go slowly
Communicate honestly with each other throughout the process
Don't expect pleasure right away... but it's there and waiting

That really is well phrased and right on. You are a gem, Trin. smile

smile

Lying next to each other on the bed, side by side, can help too. Easier to get the position just right.

23 Aug 2018

Daily, and I am so glad it is working again. Generally the second thing I check, after the Timeline. I like to see what threads they are commenting on, what their blog post is, yadayadayada.

Then, like Scott, I pull up a barstool at Rump's and ramble for a bit.

23 Aug 2018

Quote by Gillianleeeza

You have my sympathies. I have had teeth extracted before. It is no fun, especially when you run into a complication. Don't drink out of a straw! You would think that would be a good option but it can cause a complication (dry socket) that I would not wish on my worst enemy. Luckily everything gets better with time. Take care of yourself.

I will take something cool and refreshing. I think I will have whatever drink Verbal had mentioned at some time. A Corona Frog or something like that?

Cheers Everyone!

A Corona Fog, dear Gill. A Coronoa with the neck filled with cheap tequila. Here, let me buy you one. A Coronoa Frog is the same thing, but made with pondwater, and is not nearly so enticing. Plus it has bugs and twigs in it and stuff.

High schoool starts at 9 this year!!! I feel so decadent sleeping til 8 on a school day. This bodes well.

Köffee please, barkeep. I've had a couple mugs already.

21 Aug 2018

We have carried on many in the past, and I'd love another one.

21 Aug 2018

Quote by browncoffee

*flips throne*

That'll make it easier to scrape the gum off the bottom.

21 Aug 2018

The way she smiles when she looks at me. Melts me every time.

21 Aug 2018

Quote by Sweet_Reese

Sorry, if I offended and that was not my intent....there are exceptions to every rule, and I am smart enough to realize that there are some fabulous men out there. i have just recently begun seeing a gentleman that is in fact a true gentleman. There are stereotypes about all people and I am sure there are beefs, that the guys have about women. No one is perfect, neither sex is perfect and there are good and bad in both. The purpose of this informal poll on the thread was just to see if women were having some of the same problems with men, or if in fact their particular situation was unique.

It's all good. I'm sure there are a lot of deadbeat men out there. But my guess is they are outnumbered by men who quietly do what needs to be done, everyday, 365/24/7. We tend to be invisible, while the boors and assholes take up all the air in the room, and sometimes it is frustrating. My frustrations clearly spilled into my post. Apologies.

21 Aug 2018

Quote by Sweet_Reese

Grown men are like children, they will do or not do, whatever you let them get away with....it took being estranged from my sister and several very close friends for a couple of years for me to learn this, but I learned it and will NEVER make that mistake again.

We're not all children. Until very recently (when my fiance moved here) I did nearly all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, dropping off and picking up from school/doctors/activities, bill paying, simpler house repairs, logistics and scheduling, yadayadayada, for two kids and my Dad, all while holding down a full time job. I drive to the ER for emergencies, I wipe away tears when boyfriends are mean, I celebrate all victories, I mediate all arguments.

I still do most of that, though I have some help now (thankfully).

Yeah, I still can't find the Worchester sauce bottle which is right in front of me in the fridge door. I ask my daughters or LJ. I suspect it has more to do with how men and women's brains are wired than laziness. Because the reason I'm looking for it is so I can make supper for everyone.

Sorry if I sound a little defensive there. But some men work HARD for their familes.

21 Aug 2018

Quote by AmeliaLeigh
Is it just me or has anyone else notice men can’t find things in the house even with things are literally RIGHT THERE in front of them ?

I agree totally - I can't find things that are in plain sight. Which is why I go through a 3 pack of reading glasses month.

For some reason the refrigerator, specifically stuff in the door shelves, is the worst (and I do nearly all the cooking!).

21 Aug 2018

I'd rather be caught having sex (though it depends on who does the catching). More of an exhiibitionist than a voyeur.

WYR enjoy a bright sunny day or a dazzling starlit night?

21 Aug 2018

Morning all.

Before sprite and BC start fighting over the throne it's worth noting that I continue to lick it each and every time I walk past. There's a worn and slightly shiny spot right next to the back legs....

Tired a f. Köffee please.

p.s. - I stick my gum on the throne sometimes too. But nowhere conspicuous. I am, after all, a gentleman.

21 Aug 2018

Hey, everyone! Welcome to Rumps, Ms. X. Hi Gill!

Sorry for mixing up your ailments Tonya and Larry. I hope you both have good outcomes.

Hope the smoke is clearing for everyone.

I am writing while the Mets are in extra innings on the radio. Perfection. I'll take a couple fingers of Bulleit to go with it.

EDIT: Dropped an easy fly ball in the top of the 13th and threw away the game. Fucking Mets. Wrote 500 words though!

20 Aug 2018

That pun was so bad it physically hurt me.

20 Aug 2018

I felt early on I wasn't going to be a respectable citizen.

- Cormac McCarthy