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Verbal
1 month ago
Straight Male
0 miles · Colorado
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Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by sprite
Real reason I'm a lesbian. Lesbians have skillz. today's project, replacing the workings in the toilets. mission accomplished while managing to look hot the entire time. envy me. hardest part, dealing with two cats who needed to help. for hire: cat wrangler.


I'll wrangle your cats (not a euphemism) if you unclog my toilets (also not a euphemism).
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Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Nope.

HYE walked in on your parents having sex?
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by curvygalore


Erm, *looks in cupboards* I have Summer Fruits and Orange and Mango high juice squash, with plain or sparkling water and ice. That do??


I'll buy both of you lovely women a drink, if you care to join me. I am almost done with yard work and I need a cold beer.

Thank you for the kind words, Curvy.

BILL IS BACK! A toast!
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Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by RumpleForeskin
Greetings ans salutations to all Lush lovers and lickers, especially those who wandered in after hearing the bar's cranky old blind fart of a barkeep was AWOL. But as you were warned, not unlike a three-week old fish taco of uncertain provenance,eaten after midnight while suffering from a headcold and the infamous marijuana munches, I have come back on you. Consider yourselves warned.

Details will follow but only if the neat little program that let's honest degenerates bypass sanctimonius firewalls decides to work again in the morning out here in the desert.

Meanwhile, congrats to England and Croatia.

Later, probably.

Rumpled old Bill ;)



BILL IS BACK! YAY!!!!!! We've missed you!

I will have a celebratory köffee, and whatever Bill is having.

New story is about to go up. I'm oddly nervous.
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by seeker4


My God, that's even more depressing than the ending I kicked for being too depressing. It was a good ending for the story, but for a "Sizzling Summer" comp, I figure they are looking for something a bit lively and joyous, not a bummer with a glimmer of hope.

An evening whiskey please. Where's that bottle of Jameson's got to?


Everybody cums? Is that better?

My new story, which I hope I am not mangling through over-editing, is a) the filthiest thing I've ever written, b) has the darkest ending I've ever written (though this is only part one, so part two will hopefully take them to a happier place by the end), and c) when combined with part two will be the longest thing I've ever written for Lush.

Tryinng to end the Shard narrative with a bang!

Hey, Milik - off to read one of your stories now. Hey, Ping, you magnificently cartoonish bastard.
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by seeker4
An ending, an ending, my kingdom for an ending! (and that's all you need to know about how my story is progressing).



Everbody dies? No loose ends that way!

I will graduate form köffee to beer too. Hot out there!
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
World Cup, tennis, yadayadayada. We all know the most important sporting event is the utterly meaningless match between non-contenders at 2 pm: Mets vs. Rays!

Safe driving LYF. Congrats on the new fridge, Scott.

Curvy-G, don't bother washing my cup, I think of Old coffee stains in the cup as seasoning.

About to delete 3 Shards from Lush today so I can submit them: Click, Sexhair, and Domesticity. You have about 20 minutes to read them!

After that: mow the lawn while my daughter weeds.

Enjoy your Saturday everyone. Kôffëē please.
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by Jimwillhavefun


I will not be entering in the comp against all of you great writers. I need a lot more practice before I can compete with all of you.

Can I get an Iced Tea please? Thanks.


There are no great writers, only appreciative readers, who all have different tastes. You practice by writing, so why not enter? Build a fan base!

Quote by Ping


I hear Verbs is about to release a lengthy story, some 7000+ words. Does he realize that he fell asleep on his keyboard and that seven pages of llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll does not count?
Just joshing. Looking forward to what you have created.



And that's only part one! The whole thing will be around 12,000, but will take forever to finish.

It's 6900-ish words now, but I'll probably cut 500 by the end of the weekend. I can be a little...um...verbose at times.

Long frikkin week, but work is over, I am about to grill some chicken, and the Met's best pitcher, deGrom, is taking the mound for what may well be the last time, since the Mets suck DEEPLY and need to trade him for some young, cheap players if there is any hope of ever having a winning season again.

Beer please, extra cold. It's hot af out.
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by Beffer
Think positively. She may just need a longtime guy friend with a sympathetic ear to listen to her bitch about her jealous and suspicious boyfriend.


You made me laugh with that. smile

OP, what everyon else said. Your girlfriend gets to have male friends. Some women prefer men as friends. I prefer women as friends, and it doesn't bother my girlfriend. It's allowed. It's even healthy!
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Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Tonya! Thanks for the coffee! I am sorry you couldn't sleep. That happened to me last night too. I listened to a talk show about giant sharks and the Loch Ness monster. Didn't help me sleep, but it was kinda fun to listen to.

The story is, I think, done. I might post today, I might wait til Monday. I have an idea for a flash comp entry I might start playing around with.

Bill, we miss you!

Happy Friday all! Köffee please.
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by browncoffee
I imagine the "guys" who post are female in RL and keep accidentally blowing their cover. (Except Verbal, he's just strange.)


I used to be strange. Now I'm washed af, fam.
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Lots of times I see a thread pop up in the changing banner up top, or in the Friends Activity feed, and I answer without noticing it is in the Ask the Gals section. I used to apologize every time I did it and noticed, until I realize it's pretty commonplace, and people don't seem to mind.

I apologize for posting in yet another Ask the Gals, but I figured I'd give you my reasons for doing it.
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Laura's back! Woo-hoo! And Bill has been found! O frabjous day!

Thanks for starting up Bertha, Curvy! And for being a second pair of eyes on the new story. I am currently at 7000 words and climbing - probably give it one last edit over the weekend.

There is a slight chance I will join the comp (I hear Hannah shouting in triumph from here!). I had an idea for a flash suddenly occur to me last night. The almost-done story has priority, but if I finish in time I might give a summer-related flash a shot. I don't even know the deadline.

We had a very chill but pleasant 4th. Drought conditions and ironically, a lotta rain, kept the fireworks pretty tame. Fine with me - still tired and recovering from the Texas trip.

Köffee please.
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
A shirt. Assuming the bar sells shirts. If not, I'll buy him a beer.
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Yay for Trin! One of my first true friends on this site. Her kindness and openness and generosity meant a lot to me then, and means a lot to me now. You are truly deserving of this award.
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Back from the land of Texas, safe and sound. There is real healing power in the loving presence of extended family. We had a great time, though it was hot as fuck. There were a couple little political skirmishes too. smile. I imagine that was/is/will be happening in quite a few back yards and livings rooms this week. I steered clear. (for the most part).

Hi to everyone!

Fuzzy, I too have a great admiration for flag and country and the Great Democratic Experiment known as the United States. I think we are strong enough to survive the current political tempests. A toast to the fourth! With your Jameson's of course. :)
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
How beautiful the river flows and the birds they sing
But you and I we're messier things
Ain't no one leaving this world buddy
Without their shirttails dirty and their hands a little bloody

- Springsteen
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
We are off, assuming I can get my youngest to wake up (about to go down there again).

Enjoy the long weekend all.

Anyone make coffee? I'm not allowed to after the putting-dirt-in-Bertha-for-flavor incident

Köffee please, if there is some!
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by sprite


you're just not going to the right porn sites then. lol


There are wrong porn sites?


Hey Seren, hey Sara. Hey Bill, wherever the fuck you are.

Me, the girls and my Dad are flying off to the deep South tomorrow for a family reunion, and will be back the 3rd, so everyone have an excellent weekend.

I will hopefully return with a new story.
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by sprite


that's our octopus! smile if you keep an eye out you might see me there at some point. i'll wave. lol


Message me the next time you go, I will look for you! It will be the sprite/cephlapod cam! Yoou don't see that category on too many porn sites. :)
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Angel hair pasta broken into smalll pieces, sauteed in butter and garlic so it browns slightly before adding the water, then adding chicken and various veggies. Soorta like homemade Rice-a-Roni!
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Thanks for the köffee, Tonya. I'll take a YUGE mug.

My writer's group started calling me 50 Shades of Flash last night. It was kinda funny.

Not much else to report. New story is being recalcitrant. I am unsurprised.
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by TonyaL
Good morning. I am blindly setting Bertha up for y'all. I'm not quite awake yet but am going to a kiddie amusement park today. My littley will love it. I'll just get exhausted lol. As I listen to bertha perk and smell the coffee, I'll sit over here and try to wake up with a cup of hot tea. Hope everyone has a great day.


Thanks for setting up Bertha, Tonya, the coffee is extra tasty today. Enjoy the park - I know how exhausting they can be. But at least she'll be all tired out by the time she gets home!

Hey, Zen. Sorry you are sick.

Seren, you seem like a fine fellow, but who in God's name is Alan Cummings?

Köffee me, please.

EDIT: I Googled him. Talented guy! And I've seen him in several movies it turns out (and almost in a play - I saw Bent in London but he was not in it).
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Steak and corn on the cob from the grill. I love summer!
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