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WellMadeMale
1 day ago
Straight Male
0 miles · Kansas City
Forum
Constant Gardener
Quote by caraculo
Which one would you ask money from?
So, how much did you loan the gold digger, and is she dodging your calls and emails now? Probably should of been screwing her, instead of getting screwed by her, huh?
Constant Gardener
Have you ever...
Jerked off in front of a mirror. And does that make you a voyeuristic gay, or just an incredibly narcissistic exhibitionist?
Jerked off in front of a mirror. And does that make you a voyeuristic gay, or just an incredibly narcissistic exhibitionist?
Constant Gardener
Quote by Buz
Shave it into a design, landing strip or something that accentuates your pussy for the ultimate tease. As for as technique I don't know. Maybe an electric razor then use a regular triple blade safety razor to get it smooth.
I am already planning to carve & maintain the letter V or Triple I's using Tahoma font, on the next pudenda I am invited to manicure.
Constant Gardener
I wanted to use HumongousDickhead, but it was a bit too close to the truth and fortunately, also in use when I signed up. And, due to the limited number of characters we can use when choosing our own screen name, I could only label myself as that whom I wanted to be, when I grow up. NeedyHungryCodependent1960MustachioedCunt was a few letters too many.
In reality, I'm a hunchbacked, pre-operative transvestite - retired (2001) aspiring 2 handicap LPGA pursuant. I also have a few semi-diabolic, anti-social, manic-depressive tendencies, but I almost have them under control 16x7x365 with select self-medications and plenty of booze. I created all my photographs using Poser 5.0, Bryce 5.0 & Adobe 6.0 in 2003.
I chose dichotomy over factuality for my Lush personae.
In reality, I'm a hunchbacked, pre-operative transvestite - retired (2001) aspiring 2 handicap LPGA pursuant. I also have a few semi-diabolic, anti-social, manic-depressive tendencies, but I almost have them under control 16x7x365 with select self-medications and plenty of booze. I created all my photographs using Poser 5.0, Bryce 5.0 & Adobe 6.0 in 2003.
I chose dichotomy over factuality for my Lush personae.
Constant Gardener
I still wear the same 32x36 sized jeans as I wore when I was 23 years old. They are not even snug, and no belt required. Finding new 32x36 denim jeans, inside the retailing outlets of Cakeland is another story altogether.
Damned near fcking impossible.
Damned near fcking impossible.
Constant Gardener
I am beat like a redheaded step child, but you have any idea how hard it is to find THAT photo?
So, I settled for this raccoon on a stick, pic. From a classically bad, 1979 horror movie.
So, I settled for this raccoon on a stick, pic. From a classically bad, 1979 horror movie.
Constant Gardener
Quote by Curlygirly
Watching my guy masturbate for me is totally sensual, erotic, and wonderful. However, the guy in the car next to me jerking off while I'm driving home from work is a total wanker, and I'm speaking from experience here.
Constant Gardener
Quote by LadyX
Makes me wish I knew a good hacker. I'd love to take their precious website down.
Constant Gardener
Quote by RichardScott
Can someone tell me how to post an image? I thought you would just paste code
Check here, Richard
[url=Lush Sex Stories Forum » Erotic Stories Writing and Reading Forum » Site / Forum Guidelines ]http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_topics4_Site--Forum-Guidelines.aspx[/url]
More specifically - here.
How do I post pictures on the forums?
There's a treasure trove of hints and tips.
Constant Gardener
Quote by chris63
Hard weekend. Now I feel like this.
How do I add a pic from "my pics".
can some one tell me.
First you need to have established 20 forum posts, Chris. After that point...the Lush system unfolds for you and you'll see new controls inside the Post a Reply field.
Look for a small yellowish rectangle with a pair of triangular mountains inside it. Click that button (which you'll see after 20 posts), then find the image on your PC you wish to post. It's fairly intuitive. Only certain image formats are allowed. That is all explained as well.
You might try reading the forum area also, as these points are all covered by the Lush administration.
Here's a photo to cheer you up, Mate.
Constant Gardener
Most of us men appreciate your efforts, ladies. Please do not giggle at us if you catch us pitching a tent though.
Constant Gardener
Quote by LadyJava
Is that your testimonial on that box, dude?
You've a fine eye for the details, Lady.
This is what happens when you take off for a ten day vacation, & other people come play in your sandbox.
Constant Gardener
Man, now I'm really upset. 
Nobody has bothered to rip off any of my stories and pretend they wrote my stuff!
Nobody has bothered to rip off any of my stories and pretend they wrote my stuff!
Constant Gardener
Quote by Dancing_Doll
And Budwilliams, you are right. I clicked on a link on Fanfic and it crashed my computer.
MacIntosh security vs the Internet
Constant Gardener
I'd like her to drive to and then pick me up at the curb @ the airport, wearing nothing but a mischievous smile and a mid-thigh length fur coat. In heels.
I'd enjoy escorting her to VS to let her pick out an assortment of comfy panties and brassieres. She's the one wearing them, after all. If they are not comfortable, what good are they. Besides, it's the woman who makes the clothing sexy.
She's just as smoldering in a pair of comfy jeans, a pull over t-shirt and running shoes as she is, dressed to the nines in nightclub wear or some sheer teddy she has selected.
I've heard that most men would rather be caught baking a cake, then inside a lingerie shop (with or without their girlfriend/wife). I am not in that category of men.
I bake a mean cake, too.
I'd enjoy escorting her to VS to let her pick out an assortment of comfy panties and brassieres. She's the one wearing them, after all. If they are not comfortable, what good are they. Besides, it's the woman who makes the clothing sexy.
She's just as smoldering in a pair of comfy jeans, a pull over t-shirt and running shoes as she is, dressed to the nines in nightclub wear or some sheer teddy she has selected.
I've heard that most men would rather be caught baking a cake, then inside a lingerie shop (with or without their girlfriend/wife). I am not in that category of men.
I bake a mean cake, too.
Constant Gardener
Quote by Magical_felixQuote by tastyddsQuote by WellMadeMale
heheh...at least act like you've never swallowed before. Like it's the 1st time in your life that you ever even contemplated letting a man shoot his load in the mouth of the lovely woman you want 'us' to fall in love with.
Otherwise, some of us men are apt to think.........
"Wow, she really loves to eat cum." At which point the next logical thing to think is: "Hmmm, I bet she's swallowed more cum than the shower drain @ the local university's - football locker room, on gay-jack-off-contest-day."
You're not likely to be marriage material at that point in his thinking process lol
Me, I wouldn't give a second's thought to being your fuckbuddy going forward...or even kissing you. I know that you brush your teeth and gargle and it's probably been at least 24 hours since you last blew some dude, besides me.
But I'm not your average, ordinary guy.
Well… this is kind of being ignorant
Personally, the first time I swallowed, I probably acted like I was a well-coated "shower drain."
In fact, I probably acted like a total slut the very first time I fucked someone. They didn't believe that I was a virgin until they saw blood on the upholstery.
Guys: just because we're horny lil cocksuckers, doesn't mean we're slutty cocksuckers who need to be approached with a std-test kit or something.
The bolded is the part that's total bullshit. This wellmademan will take what he can get. He knows it, we know it.
Methinks some of us don't play with sarcasm in the same way as others of us do, and then we have our dancing parrot jump in and stomp on a man when he's down, with her heels!
Of course, Felix...I take it where I can get it. And I'm damned glad to even get a blow job, whether she swallows or not. Now if she's pretending she's a pencil sharpener, I might ask that she not break the skin at least.
Constant Gardener
Quote by nicola
Where is my invite?
Congratulations!
I'm sorry Mistress, I opened your mail and we were both invited, I simply forgot to tell you a few days ago. Forgive me?
Constant Gardener
Start selling tickets at my front door, urging voyeurs to come see the exhibitionist I have tied up inside. I would of course split the profits 66/33 and take the 1% handling fee as pay for the utility/gas heating rent.
Constant Gardener
If any of you blokes are into pubic hair and a challenge of your desires vs her desires, ask your significant other, fuckbuddy or the next woman you plan to hook up with...to lay down the razor and grow a Hitler Mustache or a landing strip - just for you.
Report back in a few months to us.
Report back in a few months to us.
