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WellMadeMale
6 hours ago
Straight Male
0 miles · Kansas City
Forum
Constant Gardener
Quote by bigguns
Ok so i was at the movies with my Gf and some of her girlfriends tagged along. i was fine with it until the movie started to go on for like forever
Please don't tell us you got roped into attending a chick flick, just to get kicked to the curb?
The proper response in that situation would've been to not say anything, get up and stroll over to the theater showing Moneyball or Contagion. Hell, you could've driven to the local titty bar instead. Her and her support-system friends could've thumbed a ride home from the cinema.
Constant Gardener
Quote by yellowdragon
Point taken about the negative stereotypes. I apologise for considering using them up but they're used so commonly in erotica, especially with regard to racial minorities (eg:thuggish blacks, whimpy Asian men, etc.), that I thought they were more or less acceptable. Also, with regard to Aussies, what negative stereotypes exactly did I raise? If you point them out, I'll refrain from using them as well. And yeah, it is a fantasy but then again, that's true with most erotic stories. However, is there any way that I can make it less revolting to one's sensibilities, if you will? Again, thanks.
It might be your liberal use of derogatory adjectives to describe every ethnicity or culture on the planet? What is erotic about racism, Chief? And what erotica have you been reading?
Does the John Birch website have an erotica section?
Constant Gardener
Quote by Buz
2 straight guys and 1 chick. Sandwich the girl and/or take turns over and over even until she cums her ass off. Absolutely NO touching between the guys. That would end it for sure.
More than 2 guys and its just a gangbang. Stand in line, drink a cold beer and watch while you wait your turn. Cheering is permitted.
Hand me the remote, man. The Huskers are playing the Georgia at 2pm in Lincoln, maybe it'll be your turn at halftime and mine after the game's over. I'm making a fridge run, what's your flavor today?
Constant Gardener
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first one tells the bartender he wants a beer.
The second one says he wants half a beer.
The third one says he wants a fourth of a beer.
The bartender puts two beers on the bar and says "You guys need to learn your limits."
The first one tells the bartender he wants a beer.
The second one says he wants half a beer.
The third one says he wants a fourth of a beer.
The bartender puts two beers on the bar and says "You guys need to learn your limits."
Constant Gardener
Quote by Buz
Rock. Something heavy.
With a solid bass riff. Rhythmic. Metallica, Rush, ZZ Top, REO, Van Hagar...that's the ticket
Constant Gardener
Quote by Beckey
If all else faiuls dump her, why be miserable the rest of you life?
Gotta like someone who cuts through the fluff and gets right to the point.
Constant Gardener
yes
yes
yes - but only if I was about to unload on his wife or girlfriend's tits, tummy or hungry cunt. And he was sitting in the corner, silent as a church mouse.
yes
yes - but only if I was about to unload on his wife or girlfriend's tits, tummy or hungry cunt. And he was sitting in the corner, silent as a church mouse.
Constant Gardener
I'm feeling a little lazy today. Worked my skinny ass off the last few days.
I think I might just chill out and become Ultra Bum.
Say hello to my little friend!
I think I might just chill out and become Ultra Bum.
Say hello to my little friend!
Constant Gardener
You're not actually getting this forum concept are ya?
Perhaps a moderator could relocate this question and post to a more appropriate thread than an area reserved for posting images?
Perhaps a moderator could relocate this question and post to a more appropriate thread than an area reserved for posting images?
Constant Gardener
A handful of years ago, before I'd ever even stumbled across Lush, I'd had an AdultFriendFinder personal ad running a slow troll through the churning waters of my local area.
I had changed my profile interests a few times over the previous few years, but at that moment I was a Straight Man in search of Women and interested in...
Discreet Relationships, 1-on-1 sex, Miscellaneous Fetishes, Other 'alternative' Activities and Group Sex (3 or more).
By placing too much on your profile, you ran the risk of scaring women off...but by not outlining what you were game for, you stood the chance of meeting vanilla cupcakes all the time...At least that was something I had figured out quickly.
Anyway, Mary replied to my ad. Mary identified herself as Bi-curious, in her profile...and she'd been a member for just a short two month timeframe. No photo's on her profile, which indicated to me that she was discreet, didn't have a scanner or digital camera or was as attractive as a mud fence.
In her 1st greeting to me, she claimed he was a volleyball coach at a local area high school, 40 years old...taking care of her long term partner (a 56 year old female whom she had been in a life-long, monogamous lesbian partnership with - the woman approached Mary when she was 18 and on the college volleyball squad, and they'd become fast friends). Her partner had developed some muscular degenerative disease at the age of 48 and there was little intimacy between the two of them for the last 6 years. Mary had become a caretaker and she still loved her partner...
But you can draw your own conclusions, just as I had to, as well.
Mary had never had penetrative sex with a man. No boys or men had ever even fingered her. She made out with just a very small number of young men before she decided that she was 100% lesbian and lived that way for the next 22 almost 23 years.
Mary was propositioning me to become her 1st fuck.
When I replied back, I informed her that I was flattered. I also replied that I'd never been with, to my knowledge... a virgin in that aspect and was quite hesitant. I ticked off a few of my reasons and ended the email with... My friends call me Jeff, maybe we can be friends first?
Mary sent back four photographs of herself.
She was Hot Bro. 5'10", blonde, blue eyed, racked and stacked, tanned, athletically lean and quite tasty looking. Lipstick femme was my first visual impression. My mind immediately swayed towards......... Um, well maybe I can, ummm, overlook my own bias just this once. There I was, 46 yrs old and thinking with my dick, again.
I replied with: "You're a very attractive woman, Mary...but you've lived as a lesbian your entire life. Your partner is still alive, I understand your sexual frustrations, but have you considered how you might feel if you cheated on her for the 1st time ever? I'd have to be that guy and then watch as you careened emotionally with demons which I had a hand in feeding.
I then reiterated a few key points to consider, such as... I was not looking for a life partner, but more a fuck buddy type of casual relationship, as I was still interested in pursuing more playmates. I wanted a stable of women to fuck...one for every day of the week, if possible. I attempted to paint myself as quite the rogue.
I was tossing her grenade back into a sack of crap and lobbing it back into her sports car. I knew it was risky, as I might have to actually man up at some point in time.
Mary was not to be put off. "Yes, I have thought long and hard about my decision. I first ran an ad on AFF 2 years ago and met a few men, but none of them, in the end...could pull the trigger, so-to-speak. They all wanted a trophy lesbian girlfriend, but had no clue how to give me a hard cock. I became disillusioned quickly, but the point now is I am fucking tired of my gawddamned Rabbit, no physical touching, being the nursemaid to my girlfriend who cannot really now remember even who I am...her death is imminent and I've made my peace with this too. Do not worry, I have considerable thought put into my searching and you won't be the first person I've had who has penetrated me, just the first one with a real, hard penis...which I hope to experience and then swallow your cum as you treat me like the whore I want to be treated like. Even if only for a night...or perhaps, I could be your Wednesday night slut?
Mary grabbed the bag of crap, with the grenade inside and loaded it into a mortar shell and fired it back across the bow of my aircraft carrier...knocking a flight of F-18 super hornets into my churning waters.
Now which man here could resist such bold talk and dare I say...confidence being issued forth and fucking challenging his masculinity?
Okay, so maybe there is some hyperbole on my part, but that is the basic crux of her last reply to me, before I caved and agreed to meet her...one week before xmas 2006.
While I was shopping at Bed Bath & Beyond. Ya gotta pick the right venue, don'tcha? I did not want alcohol to come into my decision, and I wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible too. Who knew...maybe we'd meet and (hopefully) she'd have a third eyeball growing under her left armpit or something. Mary could help me pick out presents for sisters-in-law, such as the proper bath towels or frilly scented soap baskets...and we could if nothing else, become friends.
No fucking sex to follow.
In the end she wore the DebonairRogue down. She did in fact assist me with purchasing Christmas gifts for all the females in my immediate family that evening...and she did indeed show me how she wanted to suck my cock, when she pulled her familiar Rabbit from her purse, while we were standing in an isolated area...expertly showing me that she'd been practicing her deep throat techniques with it... No gag reflex.
You guys know how long and thick those vibrating dildos are, right? The are slightly bigger than I am and she almost wrapped her lips around the whole fucking thing!
Back to my place as fast as I could check my cart full of gifts out.
Turns out, fucking Mary was like fucking a virgin for the 1st time. Tighter than hell...needed additional Astroglide...and reminded me of when I as 19 and messing around with 17 and 18 year old young women. Had not clue one how to move or glide or grind or thump and I felt as if I was going to break her in half...with all her shrieking, finger nail clawing - I think she dug furrows in my upper shoulder blades!
In short...the worst fucking sexual experience I'd endured in over 25 years.
Mary loved it. She started climaxing the moment I got myself fully inside of her...three strokes and she had turned into Linda Blair's character in The Exorcist. Complete with head spinning 360 degrees and calling me a fucking mother fucking mother fucker! She had to learn about talking sexy too...and I wasn't really in the mood, at 46 years of age...to break a virgin in...and train her...to my preferences. Even a woman as fucking fine looking as Mary was/is.
She wanted to spend the night cuddling. I wanted no such thing as I could tell where this was heading...Mary was in-fucking-faturated to the Nines, and already calling me her version of pet names...sweetykins, honeypie, babydooodle, sugarbritches, etc...
I had done gone and fucked up but fucking good, gentlemen.
I managed to convince her that I was one who woke up at 4 am...(in 6 short hours) to get ready and be in my office by 5:30 for work. And that she'd sleep a lot better in her own bed, etc. I practically had to push her out of my house with a scoop shovel, then hold her hand to walk her to her car in my driveway.
Teen infatuation in full bloom. She was striving to become my Wednesday, Thursday and Friday night slut whore bitch!
I had violated the Rogue's rule number 1. Some fantasies are better left - a fantasy. And hell was left to pay, yet.
Mary pestered me every day and night for the next three weeks, until I finally answered her 47th phone call one evening and just laid it all on the line.
"Mary, you're a lovely person, but you're too fucking much for me. This is not what I wanted and told you before hand...I was not relationship material at this point in my life...you're a likeable and personal woman...and very sexy...and you'll make the right fellow extremely fortunate. But I am not the right fellow...Let's be friends. Not to put this all behind us...what happened happened, but I'm seeing three other women (I wasn't) and between them and you...I am flat worn out...in a good way, but still...you're wanting a 24x7 relationship, and I am not."
She got that message.
Last I heard from Mary via email in the late spring of 2007...she was engaged to be married to a man from Omaha...some 180 miles away from our town. I wished her the best of luck...and she disappeared from everything but my memory.
Dudes...some fantasies are best left...right inside your brains.
I had changed my profile interests a few times over the previous few years, but at that moment I was a Straight Man in search of Women and interested in...
Discreet Relationships, 1-on-1 sex, Miscellaneous Fetishes, Other 'alternative' Activities and Group Sex (3 or more).
By placing too much on your profile, you ran the risk of scaring women off...but by not outlining what you were game for, you stood the chance of meeting vanilla cupcakes all the time...At least that was something I had figured out quickly.
Anyway, Mary replied to my ad. Mary identified herself as Bi-curious, in her profile...and she'd been a member for just a short two month timeframe. No photo's on her profile, which indicated to me that she was discreet, didn't have a scanner or digital camera or was as attractive as a mud fence.
In her 1st greeting to me, she claimed he was a volleyball coach at a local area high school, 40 years old...taking care of her long term partner (a 56 year old female whom she had been in a life-long, monogamous lesbian partnership with - the woman approached Mary when she was 18 and on the college volleyball squad, and they'd become fast friends). Her partner had developed some muscular degenerative disease at the age of 48 and there was little intimacy between the two of them for the last 6 years. Mary had become a caretaker and she still loved her partner...
But you can draw your own conclusions, just as I had to, as well.
Mary had never had penetrative sex with a man. No boys or men had ever even fingered her. She made out with just a very small number of young men before she decided that she was 100% lesbian and lived that way for the next 22 almost 23 years.
Mary was propositioning me to become her 1st fuck.
When I replied back, I informed her that I was flattered. I also replied that I'd never been with, to my knowledge... a virgin in that aspect and was quite hesitant. I ticked off a few of my reasons and ended the email with... My friends call me Jeff, maybe we can be friends first?
Mary sent back four photographs of herself.
She was Hot Bro. 5'10", blonde, blue eyed, racked and stacked, tanned, athletically lean and quite tasty looking. Lipstick femme was my first visual impression. My mind immediately swayed towards......... Um, well maybe I can, ummm, overlook my own bias just this once. There I was, 46 yrs old and thinking with my dick, again.
I replied with: "You're a very attractive woman, Mary...but you've lived as a lesbian your entire life. Your partner is still alive, I understand your sexual frustrations, but have you considered how you might feel if you cheated on her for the 1st time ever? I'd have to be that guy and then watch as you careened emotionally with demons which I had a hand in feeding.
I then reiterated a few key points to consider, such as... I was not looking for a life partner, but more a fuck buddy type of casual relationship, as I was still interested in pursuing more playmates. I wanted a stable of women to fuck...one for every day of the week, if possible. I attempted to paint myself as quite the rogue.
I was tossing her grenade back into a sack of crap and lobbing it back into her sports car. I knew it was risky, as I might have to actually man up at some point in time.
Mary was not to be put off. "Yes, I have thought long and hard about my decision. I first ran an ad on AFF 2 years ago and met a few men, but none of them, in the end...could pull the trigger, so-to-speak. They all wanted a trophy lesbian girlfriend, but had no clue how to give me a hard cock. I became disillusioned quickly, but the point now is I am fucking tired of my gawddamned Rabbit, no physical touching, being the nursemaid to my girlfriend who cannot really now remember even who I am...her death is imminent and I've made my peace with this too. Do not worry, I have considerable thought put into my searching and you won't be the first person I've had who has penetrated me, just the first one with a real, hard penis...which I hope to experience and then swallow your cum as you treat me like the whore I want to be treated like. Even if only for a night...or perhaps, I could be your Wednesday night slut?
Mary grabbed the bag of crap, with the grenade inside and loaded it into a mortar shell and fired it back across the bow of my aircraft carrier...knocking a flight of F-18 super hornets into my churning waters.
Now which man here could resist such bold talk and dare I say...confidence being issued forth and fucking challenging his masculinity?
Okay, so maybe there is some hyperbole on my part, but that is the basic crux of her last reply to me, before I caved and agreed to meet her...one week before xmas 2006.
While I was shopping at Bed Bath & Beyond. Ya gotta pick the right venue, don'tcha? I did not want alcohol to come into my decision, and I wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible too. Who knew...maybe we'd meet and (hopefully) she'd have a third eyeball growing under her left armpit or something. Mary could help me pick out presents for sisters-in-law, such as the proper bath towels or frilly scented soap baskets...and we could if nothing else, become friends.
No fucking sex to follow.
In the end she wore the DebonairRogue down. She did in fact assist me with purchasing Christmas gifts for all the females in my immediate family that evening...and she did indeed show me how she wanted to suck my cock, when she pulled her familiar Rabbit from her purse, while we were standing in an isolated area...expertly showing me that she'd been practicing her deep throat techniques with it... No gag reflex.
You guys know how long and thick those vibrating dildos are, right? The are slightly bigger than I am and she almost wrapped her lips around the whole fucking thing!
Back to my place as fast as I could check my cart full of gifts out.
Turns out, fucking Mary was like fucking a virgin for the 1st time. Tighter than hell...needed additional Astroglide...and reminded me of when I as 19 and messing around with 17 and 18 year old young women. Had not clue one how to move or glide or grind or thump and I felt as if I was going to break her in half...with all her shrieking, finger nail clawing - I think she dug furrows in my upper shoulder blades!
In short...the worst fucking sexual experience I'd endured in over 25 years.
Mary loved it. She started climaxing the moment I got myself fully inside of her...three strokes and she had turned into Linda Blair's character in The Exorcist. Complete with head spinning 360 degrees and calling me a fucking mother fucking mother fucker! She had to learn about talking sexy too...and I wasn't really in the mood, at 46 years of age...to break a virgin in...and train her...to my preferences. Even a woman as fucking fine looking as Mary was/is.
She wanted to spend the night cuddling. I wanted no such thing as I could tell where this was heading...Mary was in-fucking-faturated to the Nines, and already calling me her version of pet names...sweetykins, honeypie, babydooodle, sugarbritches, etc...
I had done gone and fucked up but fucking good, gentlemen.
I managed to convince her that I was one who woke up at 4 am...(in 6 short hours) to get ready and be in my office by 5:30 for work. And that she'd sleep a lot better in her own bed, etc. I practically had to push her out of my house with a scoop shovel, then hold her hand to walk her to her car in my driveway.
Teen infatuation in full bloom. She was striving to become my Wednesday, Thursday and Friday night slut whore bitch!
I had violated the Rogue's rule number 1. Some fantasies are better left - a fantasy. And hell was left to pay, yet.
Mary pestered me every day and night for the next three weeks, until I finally answered her 47th phone call one evening and just laid it all on the line.
"Mary, you're a lovely person, but you're too fucking much for me. This is not what I wanted and told you before hand...I was not relationship material at this point in my life...you're a likeable and personal woman...and very sexy...and you'll make the right fellow extremely fortunate. But I am not the right fellow...Let's be friends. Not to put this all behind us...what happened happened, but I'm seeing three other women (I wasn't) and between them and you...I am flat worn out...in a good way, but still...you're wanting a 24x7 relationship, and I am not."
She got that message.
Last I heard from Mary via email in the late spring of 2007...she was engaged to be married to a man from Omaha...some 180 miles away from our town. I wished her the best of luck...and she disappeared from everything but my memory.
Dudes...some fantasies are best left...right inside your brains.
Constant Gardener
Mazoo - think ya can find those images in a little bit larger file size? I love having to
scroll three page lengths across on my 23" wide flat panel monitor in every thread you post in.
scroll three page lengths across on my 23" wide flat panel monitor in every thread you post in.
Constant Gardener
Quote by anonymous1526
thankyou for all your posts, and olivia if i was in the boat situation i really wouldnt know who to choosE!!!
This is a fine time to float a test balloon with each man. To find out if either one of them loves you enough to give you that which you really crave.
DP. Fem Domme, or some variation of M/F/M or F/M/M three some, fun adult activities. Now you just need to communicate verbally/orally with each man and find out where he stands with regard to his full blown affections for you - the love of his life.
Constant Gardener
I dunno Buz, I think I'd throw a whole mind blowing scenario back on this acquaintance's doorstep as an affirmative answer to him that yes, I would like to engage also.
Then I'd describe a possible series of sexual deviations for him to consider, where he would be...(well, some things should not be discussed in public or on Lush).
Ya get my drift, man? Make it so absurd and cringe worthy that nobody in their right mind would accept the offer. As Aunt Olivia suggested...these are not the medieval ages, but what the acquaintance is suggest certainly sounds like it...so, go with the flow and suggest perhaps an all male gangbang-circle jerk-bukkaki festival. With the casual acquaintance as the guest recipient of honor! Just tell him that this is something you've wondered if you'd ever be able to engage in again with another willing participant...and that is what you were in fact, considering.
Something along those lines. The only problem is...that you may have to follow through eventually.
We humans are a funny lot of mixed up emotional and mental gadgetry. I think you'll learn Mickey, that you're capable of going places which you currently have not even considered.
I've found that when someone tosses an outrageous hand grenade in my direction, rather than running off or ducking for cover, it's often much more effective to merely place that firecracker in to a paper sack full of dog crap and launch it back into their Bentley, so-to-speak. The ball is then in their court and the onus is on them to respond. It often slams the door shut.
Then I'd describe a possible series of sexual deviations for him to consider, where he would be...(well, some things should not be discussed in public or on Lush).
Ya get my drift, man? Make it so absurd and cringe worthy that nobody in their right mind would accept the offer. As Aunt Olivia suggested...these are not the medieval ages, but what the acquaintance is suggest certainly sounds like it...so, go with the flow and suggest perhaps an all male gangbang-circle jerk-bukkaki festival. With the casual acquaintance as the guest recipient of honor! Just tell him that this is something you've wondered if you'd ever be able to engage in again with another willing participant...and that is what you were in fact, considering.
Something along those lines. The only problem is...that you may have to follow through eventually.
We humans are a funny lot of mixed up emotional and mental gadgetry. I think you'll learn Mickey, that you're capable of going places which you currently have not even considered.
I've found that when someone tosses an outrageous hand grenade in my direction, rather than running off or ducking for cover, it's often much more effective to merely place that firecracker in to a paper sack full of dog crap and launch it back into their Bentley, so-to-speak. The ball is then in their court and the onus is on them to respond. It often slams the door shut.
Constant Gardener
Quote by ArtMan
Totally bald is getting a little boring. I like to see a little creativity.
I second that idea...Morse code landing strip, from clit hood towards tummy. (or from right to left if you've got a major brush pile)
. .- - (dot space dot/dash space dash) - you translate it.