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WellMadeMale
10 hours ago
Straight Male
0 miles · Kansas City
Forum
Constant Gardener
Quote by thepainter
Oh goodie, another one of these threads!
Play along, bad boy.
Constant Gardener
A member of Congress was seated next to a little girl on an airplane, so he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the congressman. "How about global warming, universal health care, or stimulus packages?" as he smiled smugly.
"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"
The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care, or the economy, when you don't know shit?"
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the congressman. "How about global warming, universal health care, or stimulus packages?" as he smiled smugly.
"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"
The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care, or the economy, when you don't know shit?"
Constant Gardener
Quote by magnificent1rascal
I began by removing a personal attack on another member by the instigator, and everything was so linked up that in the end it was easier to remove the root of the problem and the replies tied directly to it.
It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it. Thanks Mag!
Constant Gardener
Quote by YahtzeeQuote by steve_columbo
[About manners?]--Yahtzee, it's not polite to mock someone. & to copy & paste what I said when you're the next comment is futile.
bursts out laughing ......
I am waiting for WMM to post a comment on that one! ..... Where is he??
My cooking in this thread is not required. It's a too many Chefs kind of thing, yanno?
Constant Gardener
But, maybe he has blue eyes. Kind of hard to tell. Think we need a close up.
Constant Gardener
indication that he has more than two nickles to rub together. Melanie often walked her housebroken 160 pound mountain lion, in The Everglades while...
Constant Gardener
quite the figurative and sometimes literal pain in the ass. I was fortunate that he could provide me with a spur of the moment diagnosis, although...
Constant Gardener
everyone knows that khaki on top of khaki is a little boring. What we really need is more pink...
Constant Gardener
You might think about selecting a story or four from the Lush library. There are several fine tales here.
Something with the general theme which turns you on greatly...and email your man the web link or the actual story via email.
If he reads it and likes it...you'll probably know. Likewise, if you freak him out...well, there ya have it.
Something with the general theme which turns you on greatly...and email your man the web link or the actual story via email.
If he reads it and likes it...you'll probably know. Likewise, if you freak him out...well, there ya have it.
Constant Gardener
I'm at a loss to describe it. I need some assistance.
Anyone, Bueller?
Anyone, Bueller?
Constant Gardener
The robotic conversation quickly evolves -or- devolves in a direction I would not have guessed.
Constant Gardener
Quote by LadyX
"quit your fucking whining"?
Jesus Christ, start your own advice column if you just want to routinely dress other guys down here. The "beta" labels and manhood attacks are getting a little old.
Where did I place that BRF at? Anyone else have a copy. I suddenly feel a need to file a formal rebuttal!
Constant Gardener
Quote by Kornpopper
In my eyes those snobby/bitchy women are the ones just looking to get a free drink from the guy who wants to buy her one and then chase them off.
And yes I agree with you that it would be better to meet those women with the same social style as you. It is also so much harder for the introverted people to meet others if they do not like to go out for the night.
Korn, you need to wake up, man.
You're the male. It's how things are done, dude. Please reign yourself in and quit fucking whining. Just do what is the manly thing to do, or quit being such a little bitch.
You think Cro-magnon man or Mr Neanderthal thought the same fucking way you think? Dude, you'd be exfuckingtinct.
PS...you'll get laid more often and you might even meet HER and fall in love.
Man the hell up.
Constant Gardener
I knew a girl who wanted to probe my prostate and milk me into an ice cube tray. Freeze the cum cubes and use them in her cocktails.
Was she whack or was I, for declining to be a part of that game?
I never had the urge to lick my ejaculate off the floor, towel or off my keyboard.
Creampies though are a different story.
'Guilty, your honor!'
Was she whack or was I, for declining to be a part of that game?
I never had the urge to lick my ejaculate off the floor, towel or off my keyboard.
Creampies though are a different story.
'Guilty, your honor!'
Constant Gardener
Jay has great hair, decent fur and makes more sense with fewer words than most people can comprehend. Maybe my antenna is just set to his wavelength?
Constant Gardener
Quote by LadyX
harsh.
Sorry Pixie, I won't talk straight shit no more.iH623sPHVoft07t1
Constant Gardener
Quote by ShesHotBro
Okay, so I know most women would take one glance at this question and roll their eyes; But, if you can give us men a few tips, I'm sure I speak for us all, when I ask
Please don't take this personally and please don't judge me for asking such a question, it just seems like I do the wrong thing alot.
No, I don't take this personally, but please...in the future, speak for yourself and don't try to cloak your own insecurities by including your beta personality with the rest of us men, because no, you do not speak for us all.
Maybe by the time you're 21 or 22, you'll have figured this age old mystery out.
Men are from Earth and women are too. Deal with it. (tyvm George Carlin)
FFS's
Constant Gardener
For all lushes, but especially you, Scooter. I found a new occupation, and I'm on the way!
Constant Gardener
Quote by nicolaHe probably hadn't thought of that.
Or maybe he liked the attention for a while, until it got unbearable - the 65,000th call was the one that broke the camel's back!
I'm thinking I'd have been changing my number and making it unlisted/private - around the 25th undesired phone call.
I've a friend who was a single father of a young son in 2000. He met a young woman about his age, a single working mother...at a daycare which they both frequented.
He doesn't do rejection very well. Neither rejecting nor being rejected. He asked her to lunch, then to another lunch, then a movie, then something else...and within a few weeks they were happily banging and spending a lot of free time with one another. In the process of this dating ritual...she did or said something which made him back away and then actually find a new daycare center...she had been emailing him, at first...a few times each day. Something he found endearing at first.
That grew to ten, then twenty then thirty times a day. Apparently she was emailing him twitter-style, years before Twitter was even thought of and rolled out.
He told me about her in 2010.
"She's still emailing you 30 times a day?"
"Closer to 100 times a day, man."
"You're shitting me...and you haven't seen her since 2000?"
"You notice I quit using that email account name, haven't you?"
"Come to think of it, I haven't seen S0larisJedi email in a few years..."
"Yeah, I set up a separate email server in my house. It's my son's old Pentium III computer with a 160Gb hard drive."
"Just to handle her incoming email chatter?"
"Yeah. Last time I checked it, last month...there were over 130,000 emails received from Jana since April 2001, that's when I set up that dedicated server and quit using that account name."
"And how many before then, had you received?"
"I dunno, maybe 2,000. She emails me about 40 fucking times a day. Usually it's just a wink or an icon of her blowing a kiss."
"Whack."
"She's had four or five boyfriends and two long term relationships all during this time and keeps me informed and updated as to what she's doing or how she's feeling."
"Does she tell you when she's having her period or how many condoms some guy used on her?"
"Heheh...she tells me every fucking intimate detail of her life. I've got a ten year diary on my server, man."
"What are you gonna do with all that crap?"
"When I'm bored and feeling like my life is shit, I dive in and read someone's collection of dreary tales and I feel better about my lot in life."
Constant Gardener
STOCKHOLM (AP) — A seemingly intoxicated moose has been discovered
entangled in an apple tree by a stunned Swede.
Per Johansson says he heard a roar from his vacationing neighbor's
garden in southwestern Sweden late Tuesday and went to have a look.
There, he found a female moose kicking about in the tree. The animal
was likely drunk from eating fermented apples.
Constant Gardener
Quote by Shinzon
Okay LJ, I give up. I've looked at this one from different angles and can't figure it out. What am I missin here?
Neck meet shoulder
Constant Gardener
As long as it holds still for them.
It Wasn't Just Neanderthals: Ancient Humans Had Sex with Other Hominids
It Wasn't Just Neanderthals: Ancient Humans Had Sex with Other Hominids