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WellMadeMale
5 hours ago
Straight Male
0 miles · Kansas City
Forum
Constant Gardener
Quote by Guest
Hello Olivia
I don't agree with your advice - but hey that's what makes this a fun and exciting world... differences of opinion...To the next post and beyond!
As with any advice/guidance provided here, it is for the reader to decide what next steps they are to take..to take on board the advice or not to take it on board.
We all have different world views and frames of reference..ours are simply different...and that is ok..life would be a little boring if we all agreed with each other...wouldn't you agree?
Til next time...)
Now this is the correct way to get your point across, Mr. Secretsandlies. Everyone else take note.
Declare your opinions in a snarky manner...then delete your account so you don't have to face any possible rebuttal. This is a smooth move, Ex-lax.
Constant Gardener
You know, this is not just a phenomenon that is relegated to men coming on to their lady friends.
I've experienced a small handful of women over the last 30 years who wanted more than friendship. And that moment is quite awkward. Even more complicated when it occurs in front of other people you both may know.
Like leaning over close for the pre-kiss dreamy eyed look (only to not have it returned). It did not help that she was the younger sister of a woman I was deeply in love/lust with, 20 years earlier. Eh, I managed to salvage that friendship by blaming it on the booze she and I had consumed. She never tried that shit again.
A 50 year old woman sitting across a table from me, while my best male friend sat to my right. The 36 year old woman sitting close to my left who I'd been banging occasionally for the last 7 years (was her daughter). When the mother proclaimed after her usual four Long Island Tea cocktails...
"I bet I can suck your dick better than my daughter can!" She boasted this verbally, while leaning back in the chair, spreading her legs and flashing me and my friend her snatch - in commando mode under her skirt.
Mom was pretty good looking...but her daughter (who is not easily stunned nor embarrassed) was slack jawed and I think I heard her jaw hit the table top in front of her. My friend was in the middle of sipping his Jack & Coke...and I think he almost spilled it on himself.
I just sat there and felt the small hairs on the back of my neck - shoot straight up and out.
There was no recovery possible on that occasion.
So this isn't just a Beta move, which is foisted on women by the less experienced men of the world.
I've experienced a small handful of women over the last 30 years who wanted more than friendship. And that moment is quite awkward. Even more complicated when it occurs in front of other people you both may know.
Like leaning over close for the pre-kiss dreamy eyed look (only to not have it returned). It did not help that she was the younger sister of a woman I was deeply in love/lust with, 20 years earlier. Eh, I managed to salvage that friendship by blaming it on the booze she and I had consumed. She never tried that shit again.
A 50 year old woman sitting across a table from me, while my best male friend sat to my right. The 36 year old woman sitting close to my left who I'd been banging occasionally for the last 7 years (was her daughter). When the mother proclaimed after her usual four Long Island Tea cocktails...
"I bet I can suck your dick better than my daughter can!" She boasted this verbally, while leaning back in the chair, spreading her legs and flashing me and my friend her snatch - in commando mode under her skirt.
Mom was pretty good looking...but her daughter (who is not easily stunned nor embarrassed) was slack jawed and I think I heard her jaw hit the table top in front of her. My friend was in the middle of sipping his Jack & Coke...and I think he almost spilled it on himself.
I just sat there and felt the small hairs on the back of my neck - shoot straight up and out.
There was no recovery possible on that occasion.
So this isn't just a Beta move, which is foisted on women by the less experienced men of the world.
Constant Gardener
Nah, this isn't about shacking up.
My focus here is how do you and your lover...sleep together?
Do you share a daybed, queen or king mattress? An inflatable air mattress such as you might see at the pool or lake with a sleeping bag tossed on top of it? On the floor / rug /carpeting sharing a bottle of swill?
Do you snuggle together in the comfort of one another? Or do you absolutely require no physical contact with another human body...so you can get your mind to dreamland?
Do you find that if you do share a mattress, you need to get to sleep before your mate does - to avoid the snoring or squirming/kicking that you know is going to come soon?
I like to snuggle, preferably in spoon - either side, it does not matter to me...I can follow her preference on this small matter.
The last few women I've spent overnight time with....did not want to touch a man (either after rambunctious sexual play) or just going to bed after spending the evening cozying up on the couch watching some tube or reading a book.
Do you have a television set in the bedroom which you or your significant other must watch or have on...so you can drift to sleep? I have one myself, but I rarely watch it anymore. I've felt the bedroom is for two things, and neither includes watching Jay Leno or David Letterman.
My focus here is how do you and your lover...sleep together?
Do you share a daybed, queen or king mattress? An inflatable air mattress such as you might see at the pool or lake with a sleeping bag tossed on top of it? On the floor / rug /carpeting sharing a bottle of swill?
Do you snuggle together in the comfort of one another? Or do you absolutely require no physical contact with another human body...so you can get your mind to dreamland?
Do you find that if you do share a mattress, you need to get to sleep before your mate does - to avoid the snoring or squirming/kicking that you know is going to come soon?
I like to snuggle, preferably in spoon - either side, it does not matter to me...I can follow her preference on this small matter.
The last few women I've spent overnight time with....did not want to touch a man (either after rambunctious sexual play) or just going to bed after spending the evening cozying up on the couch watching some tube or reading a book.
Do you have a television set in the bedroom which you or your significant other must watch or have on...so you can drift to sleep? I have one myself, but I rarely watch it anymore. I've felt the bedroom is for two things, and neither includes watching Jay Leno or David Letterman.
Constant Gardener
What's up with this phenomenon I've only seen at Lush?
I surf profiles of women and men. I have found (and met in an online sense only) a lot of interesting people using this method of pre-stalking.
I have also laughed my ass off a great deal.
But one thing which jumps out at me is how some people proclaim. "I'm a Marine's girl/wife!" -or- "I love my Dom!"
Can someone explain this. Are 'you' in love with the man (who may happen to be a US Marine or a retired US Armed Forces dude)...or are you in love with being in love with a guy who happens to be a member of the Corps?
Nowhere else do I notice anyone proclaiming the admiration and undying love for 'My Harvard/Oxford Student'....or 'My PimpDaddy'....or 'My Fortune 100 CEO'.
Seems pretty materialistic and/or...insincere to me.
I surf profiles of women and men. I have found (and met in an online sense only) a lot of interesting people using this method of pre-stalking.
I have also laughed my ass off a great deal.
But one thing which jumps out at me is how some people proclaim. "I'm a Marine's girl/wife!" -or- "I love my Dom!"
Can someone explain this. Are 'you' in love with the man (who may happen to be a US Marine or a retired US Armed Forces dude)...or are you in love with being in love with a guy who happens to be a member of the Corps?
Nowhere else do I notice anyone proclaiming the admiration and undying love for 'My Harvard/Oxford Student'....or 'My PimpDaddy'....or 'My Fortune 100 CEO'.
Seems pretty materialistic and/or...insincere to me.
Constant Gardener
Quote by DirtyMartini
I know all about carbon paper and stuff, long before the Xerox machine came out in 1960...
I'll be gawddamned, you really are older than I am. You don't look a day over 34. What's your secret, man?
Facial creams?
Clean living?
Lotsa pussy eating?
Constant Gardener
Quote by Bellayan21
I've only been with women but after discovering this site I've had a curiosity about men, should I just give in? or is it worth it? Men and women both please respond
No offense, Bella...but this has got to be a Lush 1st.
Nicola, you can trumpet that in addition to Lush enjoying the privilege of introducing so many long lasting new relationships amongst couples...now your wonderful site has managed to turn a lesbian into a bisexual.
What else can this site do? Deliver babies, preside over weddings? I'm still waiting for scratch n sniff profile photos. Complete with audio!
Gav?
Constant Gardener
Quote by Nikki703
Why do guys obsess on cock size? Women dont obsess on boob size, do we?
No Nikki, we obsess on boob size too. And ass size and waist size.
We pretty much obsess on dimensions...which leads to dementia.
I do not know what women obsess upon, however.
Constant Gardener
Quote by Magical_felix
I find it extremely hard to believe that these broads didn't fall for that wellmade charm. Did you show them the pictures of your ass? The sexy ones where you're on the bed? Time to pull that ace out if your sleeve man.
A couple of 'em even got to see Big Ed, my cloaked, multi-hued, eleven inch spitting anaconda.
Shot down in flames, each time. It was bad, bad, bad.
Constant Gardener
Quote by chefkathleenQuote by gabby212
yes, i am in love with someone right now but they have chosen to ignore me. it hurts bad , so guess im just quiting
It happens to everybody sometime Gabby.
Yes it does, Gaborino.
Me, for instance. I met and fell madly in love with ChefK. Then I learned she was married. Fawk!
Then I fell in love with Pixie. Then I learned she was married. Double Fawk!
Then I fell in love with Lisa. I learned she was pregnant with her - yep, Husband's child. Gawddamnit!
THen I fell head over heels for Ali. Ahhh, sweet Ali. We almost cybered I was so in love with her. Til I learned that she too was happily married.
About the only one left to fall in love with was the woman I looked at like an Aunt to me. I don't do nor women who live on the other side of the globe, down under.
So...
I thought about falling in love with Rocco, but he kinda wasn't into that sort of thing.
Then along came Dancing_Doll with her WMM crush to ... I thought - save me and I started to fall for her, but she dumped me for DamonX.
MUTHERFUCKER!!!!All the other women of Lush I've fallen under the spell of...pretty much immediately deleted their accounts after I professed my undying love to them.
It just sucks I tell ya, Gabby. Hang in there bud. There are some heartbreaker's out there, but...Maybe we can start a lonely hearts club? Women welcome too!
Constant Gardener
Quote by CuriousButterfly
...and even if you don't post I know this will make some of you chuckle
The only act I can think which involves both a cassette tape & a pencil - is shorthand dictation.
I've never seen it performed, only depicted in some 1950's and 60's movies.
Constant Gardener
A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise.
After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss
the preacher’s expanding salary. A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the clergyman's
additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.
After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, “Children are a gift from God,
and we will take as many gifts as He gives us”.
Silence fell on the congregation.
In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, 'Rain is also a gift from God, but
when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers.'
After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss
the preacher’s expanding salary. A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the clergyman's
additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.
After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, “Children are a gift from God,
and we will take as many gifts as He gives us”.
Silence fell on the congregation.
In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, 'Rain is also a gift from God, but
when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers.'
Constant Gardener
A small-town mayor is under investigation after finally giving his wife a nice, big rock.
Stay Classy!
Stay Classy!
Constant Gardener
The friend zone is not the horrible place which some paint it to be. It is not some purgatory where you are meant to be in emotional limbo.
I feel that I'm fortunate to have enjoyed several female friendships over the last 30 years. Those ladies all have had a substantial circle of friends too.
Farm and cultivate the friend zone, I say...you may well be glad that you did. Be a gentleman and a rogue. At appropriate moments.
And eventually, you may even bone a few of your close female friends. It just happens on their time-table and not the one you may have once desired.
Patience, young dudes.
I feel that I'm fortunate to have enjoyed several female friendships over the last 30 years. Those ladies all have had a substantial circle of friends too.
Farm and cultivate the friend zone, I say...you may well be glad that you did. Be a gentleman and a rogue. At appropriate moments.
And eventually, you may even bone a few of your close female friends. It just happens on their time-table and not the one you may have once desired.
Patience, young dudes.
Constant Gardener
I've a female friend who will not consider marrying a man unless she has an opportunity to...
a. Shack up with him for at least a few months.
b. Spend a few weekends or weeks, living in sin at each other's habitat.
I am of a similar train of thought as well.
For instance, much like a Hollywood produced movie which asks me to suspend belief in the possible, probable or impossible - I know and hope (in the back of my mind) that your bowels work excellently and regularly.
I simply do not need visual, audible nor olfactory evidence of such, to endear you further to my heart.
I'm your boyfriend and I love to lick you from starfish to clit hood with great regularity. I'm not your Gyno.
When I shack up with a woman, I do insist on separate bathrooms (and she can have the larger more comfortable one). Just keep that sumbitch clean, will ya? I'm talking tub/shower enclosure, toilet bowl, any carpeted areas, sink and counter top.
I'm not a slob and my girlfriend - if she is one, will not be my girlfriend for longer than the initial lease period.
Then it is on - to the my next victim.
Excellent thread, Olivia - but you could've had a top 10 dozen!
a. Shack up with him for at least a few months.
b. Spend a few weekends or weeks, living in sin at each other's habitat.
I am of a similar train of thought as well.
For instance, much like a Hollywood produced movie which asks me to suspend belief in the possible, probable or impossible - I know and hope (in the back of my mind) that your bowels work excellently and regularly.
I simply do not need visual, audible nor olfactory evidence of such, to endear you further to my heart.
I'm your boyfriend and I love to lick you from starfish to clit hood with great regularity. I'm not your Gyno.
When I shack up with a woman, I do insist on separate bathrooms (and she can have the larger more comfortable one). Just keep that sumbitch clean, will ya? I'm talking tub/shower enclosure, toilet bowl, any carpeted areas, sink and counter top.
I'm not a slob and my girlfriend - if she is one, will not be my girlfriend for longer than the initial lease period.
Then it is on - to the my next victim.
Excellent thread, Olivia - but you could've had a top 10 dozen!
Constant Gardener
Infatuation - many times. And thank gawd for that.
Fallen in love? Nope.
Falling is generally an accident.
Fallen in love? Nope.
Falling is generally an accident.
Constant Gardener
The perfect pussy is whichever one belongs to the woman who I am enthralled with - at the moment.
Feels like home, to me.
Feels like home, to me.
Constant Gardener
Quote by CharlotteRusse1
This is probably a common response but I would never write about ... !
Sheesh, people around here must have extremely well-preserved and sexy parents. By the time I was old enough to masturbate, mine were not all that appealing to me. I just don't get it. Never had the urge to get it on with my sisters either, though we were all o.k.
Spanking? I think my Mom turned me off to it. Always associated it with extra chores piled on afterwards.
So, Charlotte, if I were to send you a black-box pop up window request, suggesting some lewd mutual cyber chat...where I was dressed as a pirate and you a slave girl...involving some reddened-rump (yours) spanking with my sword, whilst sucking upon your toes and you screaming "Thank you Daddy, may I have another?"
I would gain no traction other than a quick cyber boot-to-my-butt, from your Lush friend's list?
I am glad that I waited until I checked this thread first.
