Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
WellMadeMale
17 hours ago
Straight Male
0 miles · Kansas City
Forum
Constant Gardener
The older dude in the spectacles and blazer...collects roadkill and then prepares it for meals for his guests. Saw him on Nat'l Geo's series a few weeks ago. He has a fine recipe for badger casserole. 
Constant Gardener
I met her online. In person the sexual energy was mutual and instant.
The following mid-morning, after our sixth coupling of the previous 15 hours
she looked at me after 20 minutes of silence and a couple of smokes and
purred, "Can I be your personal cum-dumpster?"
As I wondered how often she might have uttered that line in the last few months,
I deferred and replied, "Anything is possible."
I then excused myself to use the head, and on the way to the bathroom, I
picked up my portable phone and dialed my work pager so that it would beep
and perhaps she'd tell me when I returned to the living room area.
She did, I made the lame excuse I had to rush to the office. She and I both
dressed and we parted ways in the apartment complex parking lot.
I never got her phone number and never saw her online again.
Thank fcking gawd.
The following mid-morning, after our sixth coupling of the previous 15 hours
she looked at me after 20 minutes of silence and a couple of smokes and
purred, "Can I be your personal cum-dumpster?"
As I wondered how often she might have uttered that line in the last few months,
I deferred and replied, "Anything is possible."
I then excused myself to use the head, and on the way to the bathroom, I
picked up my portable phone and dialed my work pager so that it would beep
and perhaps she'd tell me when I returned to the living room area.
She did, I made the lame excuse I had to rush to the office. She and I both
dressed and we parted ways in the apartment complex parking lot.
I never got her phone number and never saw her online again.
Thank fcking gawd.
Constant Gardener
Adultfriendfinder.com has a sister-site devoted to alternative lifestyles. I suggest trolling a personal ad at one of those websites which cater to such. I mean, you're not going to go looking for her in places she is not most likely to be are you? Unless you're directed and focused, you could go months or years before you meet her.
I've had some luck just outright asking around at parties and nightclubs: "You wouldn't be into wooden ponies would you? Flogging, boot-licking or collared sex slave submission 24x7 ring any bells for you?"
I've had some luck just outright asking around at parties and nightclubs: "You wouldn't be into wooden ponies would you? Flogging, boot-licking or collared sex slave submission 24x7 ring any bells for you?"
Constant Gardener
Quote by mazza
Oh and this probably isn't quite the firework display you had in mind but it is AWESOME!!!
Well, that was certainly a prime display of utter stupidity. I would think that a bomb squad would have a much less polluting method of disposing of fireworks than what I just witnessed.
Constant Gardener
Roses waiting for him to be picked up at the front desk, are always an appreciated item. Meh, worked on me once, anyway.
Constant Gardener
that his mobile butt plug had eased out and he was in danger of staining his brand new, designer khaki cargo shorts. But that's just one risk of free swinging, commando-style...the benefits far outweighed...
Constant Gardener
The lithe brunette's firm, denim covered ass, which had been backed up and shoved into the front of his pelvis. As he gazed down upon Miss Perfect Butt's delicious V-shaped torso, he noticed out of the corner of his right eye, that he was standing, barefooted in a large pool of...
Constant Gardener
Alice Goodwin has some fine tits.
So does Holly Peers.
Nice try though. Close, but no cigar.
So does Holly Peers.
Nice try though. Close, but no cigar.
Constant Gardener
Quote by Fugly
I may have been blocked also by others simply because I am a story verifier???
Why block you for something as fcktarded as that? Hell, they'd just go to your library of published stories and paint 2's all over 'em.
Constant Gardener
"Sure we could dance, except you'll have to do something with that wheelbarrow you're pushing...incidentally, is that to cart me away with or to carry your balls around in?"
Constant Gardener
The Running of The Yetis, in Timbuktu. As usual, there will be those who whine about the censorship occurring on a free, erotica-themed, adult networking site, while a sane man would realize that nothing is freer than the feeling of ...
Constant Gardener
Quote by hotlilvirgin
I think he had something like 4 accounts that he had made, just so i didnt know i was talking to him. I knew everytime who it was, every name he gave began with the same letter, his age was the same, his job was the same, he spoke the same. If you're gonna be a stalking wierdo, be a bit clever about it for god sake!
Wow, some great tips here. Constant Gardener
Heh, you like guys, she likes guys, what's the issue? Spill.
Constant Gardener
Quote by LittleBambi
This has got to be at least the 5th 'ideal cock size' post I've seen here in the tiny 6 months I've been a lush member.
I've been cruising Lush since June of 2009. Silent running for a few months, sizing up the environment, reading existing threads at that time, and familiarizing myself with the general denizens on hand at that time.
We will continue to observe the same phenomenon constantly. It is simply the easiest way for the lazier folks to introduce themselves to the community.
Like the Sun rising in the East every morning, it is going to happen and you cannot do anything to prevent it. I have learned to enjoy watching the spectacle, myself. Each sunrise is unique, Bambi.
Some can be hilarious.
Constant Gardener
I know a fellow, let's call him Kevin, who is fourteen years younger than me. He's also 3 inches taller and 40 pounds heavier @ 100 kilos total. For about eight years, he was living with a young woman, four years older than him, who I have been smitten with since I first met her in 1996.
Kevin is a handsome man, in a sort of hickish, country-bumpkin way. I just saw him last year at a shopping mall with his new wife of four years, sitting next to a stroller with his newborn resting inside. His young wife was inside a shop browsing at goods.
The child is Kevin's 2nd. His oldest is now a fifteen year old lad.
"Dude, what's up, long time - no see."
"I'm here to pick up some prescription sunglasses. How's life treating ya?"
"Well, this is pretty much it. Still working for IBM, got married two years after Michelle and I broke up."
"Cool beans, you happy?"
"At least my wife isn't a stripper." He said this flippantly with the beginnings of a sly grin, under his blonde mustache, forming.
"Your ex girlfriend hung up her dancing heels in 2005. You dug dating a hot babe who was way out of your league."
"You fucked her after we broke up, didn't you?"
"Uh huh...and about four times a year on average, when you two were living together."
Kevin just grinned. If he was upset, he was hiding it very well. He could easily have rearranged my various limbs and smashed my handsome face, but I knew he'd take my comment in stride, especially inside the public mall.
I had enjoyed pricking his frail ego over the years, with the odd off color comment, and he too, had always thrown a few back at me. Kevin knew I had a crush on his ex girlfriend. I was one of her better customers for many years, and he would often show up at a local reservoir where she and I had been catching rays, drinking cold ones, riding wave runners and enjoying our all day flirtations, during the summers between 1996 and 2003.
Kevin was not quite 100% full blown cuckold, but that's only because Michelle had never fully turned him.
Michelle knew a little bit about me - the moment she first plopped onto my lap, that first July evening, almost sixteen years ago now. She had often told me, after she got to know me, what strapping Manly Man, Kevin...was not packing.
About the size of her pinky finger. But I understand that he could/can...eat pussy like a madman.
But obviously it worked well enough to provide Kevin with a pair of offspring. Kevin, aside from be a bumpkin, is also a very good computer programmer within the Unix operating system world...and has always hauled in a nice weekly paycheck, and he's a pretty good carpenter too. I have seen his work. He's a perfectionist/craftsmen with saw, tape, hammer and screwgun. He owned a pair of Corvettes when he lived with Michelle. Imagine that.
The size of your dick is relative to the size of your ego and it's all relative to how healthy you are, mentally.
"Take it easy, Jeff," he said to me as I began meandering off. "When Michelle cries out my name the next time you are..."
I did not hear the rest of what he was going to say, as at that moment he noticed his pretty young wife approaching him and he killed his last words voluntarily.
He and I are not friends, nor were we then or are we now, rivals. He merely satisfied Michelle orally and financially. I was granted a small handful of occasional carnality, on the side.
Now she's some other poor bastard's problem.
Kevin is a handsome man, in a sort of hickish, country-bumpkin way. I just saw him last year at a shopping mall with his new wife of four years, sitting next to a stroller with his newborn resting inside. His young wife was inside a shop browsing at goods.
The child is Kevin's 2nd. His oldest is now a fifteen year old lad.
"Dude, what's up, long time - no see."
"I'm here to pick up some prescription sunglasses. How's life treating ya?"
"Well, this is pretty much it. Still working for IBM, got married two years after Michelle and I broke up."
"Cool beans, you happy?"
"At least my wife isn't a stripper." He said this flippantly with the beginnings of a sly grin, under his blonde mustache, forming.
"Your ex girlfriend hung up her dancing heels in 2005. You dug dating a hot babe who was way out of your league."
"You fucked her after we broke up, didn't you?"
"Uh huh...and about four times a year on average, when you two were living together."
Kevin just grinned. If he was upset, he was hiding it very well. He could easily have rearranged my various limbs and smashed my handsome face, but I knew he'd take my comment in stride, especially inside the public mall.
I had enjoyed pricking his frail ego over the years, with the odd off color comment, and he too, had always thrown a few back at me. Kevin knew I had a crush on his ex girlfriend. I was one of her better customers for many years, and he would often show up at a local reservoir where she and I had been catching rays, drinking cold ones, riding wave runners and enjoying our all day flirtations, during the summers between 1996 and 2003.
Kevin was not quite 100% full blown cuckold, but that's only because Michelle had never fully turned him.
Michelle knew a little bit about me - the moment she first plopped onto my lap, that first July evening, almost sixteen years ago now. She had often told me, after she got to know me, what strapping Manly Man, Kevin...was not packing.
About the size of her pinky finger. But I understand that he could/can...eat pussy like a madman.
But obviously it worked well enough to provide Kevin with a pair of offspring. Kevin, aside from be a bumpkin, is also a very good computer programmer within the Unix operating system world...and has always hauled in a nice weekly paycheck, and he's a pretty good carpenter too. I have seen his work. He's a perfectionist/craftsmen with saw, tape, hammer and screwgun. He owned a pair of Corvettes when he lived with Michelle. Imagine that.
The size of your dick is relative to the size of your ego and it's all relative to how healthy you are, mentally.
"Take it easy, Jeff," he said to me as I began meandering off. "When Michelle cries out my name the next time you are..."
I did not hear the rest of what he was going to say, as at that moment he noticed his pretty young wife approaching him and he killed his last words voluntarily.
He and I are not friends, nor were we then or are we now, rivals. He merely satisfied Michelle orally and financially. I was granted a small handful of occasional carnality, on the side.
Now she's some other poor bastard's problem.
Constant Gardener
Quote by ManOfWar
2,048px × 1,536px..? Think you enlarge the next photo you post to twice this ones size?
Yo, MoW...you can always edit it ...shrink it down on your pc and re-edit the post with the smaller image.
Constant Gardener
Quote by adeleeve
love this pic
I can tell that you're not a big fan of acquainting yourself with rules and regs of websites (these can be found during your Lush sign-up process too). There are also a few helpful threads in certain forum areas which can alleviate some of your frequently asked/voiced questions...with real working answers, too!
Enjoy yourself at Lush!
Constant Gardener
well...I about jumped out of my lounge chair and I was pretty sure what was coming. Although I thought that maybe one of them drunk bastards fell into the drink fighting the tarpon after spotting the hammerhead, instead.
Thanks for my Sunday thrill, Chef. Time for another cold one - OMG!
Thanks for my Sunday thrill, Chef. Time for another cold one - OMG!
Constant Gardener
Appears to be quite the ladies man. Oh, and you look rather noble and debonair in that suit. Maybe I should get me one.