Ever wonder how you are perceived by the people looking in?
I thought this would be a neat topic, maybe get to know more of the people here in Lush World!!!! If you are comfortable, please do online and real world!
Real life; cool, cautious, aloof, confident, a gem of a proper lady, demanding, stand-offish, intimidating, eccentric, crazy, a ball of energy, extrovert, intelligent, a push-over, overly confident in who I am and my abilities, child-like in the way I see life, someone who will go to Hell and back in bare feet for someone I trust and respect, but once that respect is lost I will still assist, be kind and polite, but there will be a cooler undercurrent. To some I probably appear always "high", but once my guard is lowered I become more me, quiet like. I don't get angry (well I do, its just rare), I sing, I dance, I have no problems walking up to a stranger when the mood strikes me to give them a hug, all while walking down the street by myself or with someone there. A smile is more of than not plastered on my face.
However; when the mood strikes me, I love to turn around and just floor the people I am around. I'll start talking about anal plugs, questioning about BDSM, handcuffs, then in the same breath, a political question or a biblical question, then about this new song I heard.
When I walk into a room, people are intimidated of me. This giant of a woman, with large eyes, who puts on a front of nonchalance, who doesn't really interact with anyone until I know all the players in the room. This is where the ones that know me get a kick. My mother used to complain that my personality is larger than life, and I am very disarming. People's first impression of me as I said is one of aloofness, icy, etc... within twenty minutes, I can have a room eating out of the palm of my hand. Which I am working on as I know it is not the best trait to have.
Online? Well that is a totally different ball of Gouda. To some I seem loud, obnoxious, crazy, overly confident, insane, wishy washy, talkative, the centre of all attention whores, man-seeking, oh what other adjectives can I think of? Let's see... in any case, sure. I can be all these things, sure, but can't we all?
Side note- what I find interesting, and utterly thigh slapping down right hilarious, is the women in the online world who call me a "man chasing whore". I do not chase, I do not seek out a man, they come to me.
Dealing with drama, I will let the part of me out that I don't like letting out to play- the harsh, cold, business woman out to demand I get it. There is enough drama in teaching at a university, working in foreign country that this, my escape place, I don't need any extra. Or just ignore it with a shake of my head.
Ok, I am very sorry to all who read this, I don't really have a clue how people see me. Bottom line is, I know how I see myself. And I like who I see every morning in the mirror as I brush my teeth, even if I have silly hair or a pimple on my nose. Take me or leave me, I live in a world where there is sunshine all the time, daisies and horsies with ribbons in their hair, where the music is always playing and every moment is to be lived. Even if I am working. Or should be working.