Man rings his boss first thing in the morning. "What's the difference between your daughter and this morning?"
Boss sighs "I don't know what?"
"I'm not coming in this morning"
:d/

Quote by WellMadeMale
I once ragdolled a man's girlfriend, on his rotating bed, while being filmed by his Super 8mm video camera...while he sat in a recliner some ten feet away trying to masturbate his limp mechanism.
He was also 6'5" tall, 240 pounds and dressed up to resemble Lil Orphan Annie, complete with plaid skirt, flaming orange - curly locked wig, manssiere, white thigh high lace stockings, facial rouge, lipstick, eyeliner, painted nails and some darling size 13, three inch platform - black patent leather shoes with nifty gold buckles.
He had that look down cold.
He was also quite possibly one of my upper vice presidents in the very large fortune 100 company we both toiled for, at the time. He divulged his identity to me, I gave him a fake name and phony employer.
I gave her...everything else.
Ahhh, the memories.