There have been a lot of 'relations' between almost all of the members of my friendship group at university. The situation verges on being completely fucked-up; it's a wonder we're all still such good friends.
Luckily, we are able to laugh about it all (although there are still one or two 'no-go' topics).
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clum
1 month ago
Bisexual Cis Male, 35
0 miles · Scotland
Forum
Clumeleon
Quote by Dudealicious
I have been told once you are fluent in one, you can pick the others up quite rapidly.
A teacher at my high school (fluent in four languages and learning another) told me there was an art to language learning. Once you've fully mastered one (besides from your native language) then others become much more easily accessible, and not necessarily just if the languages are similar. This is probably why many people are multi-lingual rather than just bilingual.
The romance languages that you mentioned are all deeply rooted in Latin so yes, learning one makes learning another much easier (or better yet, learn Latin). The same can be said of Germanic languages (English, German, Dutch, Scandinavian languages, etc.).
I think learning a language with a whole different alphabet, like Russian or Arabic, is extremely admirable. More impressive yet is when 'Westerners' learn an oriental language, because of the fundamental differences from our own, rather than just different words to mean the same thing.
Language is fascinating.
Clumeleon
Quote by Nikki703
And although I have seen guys here claim to be 3 or 4" thick, they are lying. Think of this, a DVD is acout 4 1/2" wide, enough said!
When guys talk about thickness, they're often referring to girth, or circumference, rather than width. In this case, 4 inches is quite plausible (about 1.25" wide). I don't think any guy professes to have, or even desires, a 4" wide cock. That man will face problems in life.
Damn, I was really hoping this wasn't going to degenerate into another discussion about penis size. C'est la vie.
Clumeleon
Quote by studintraining
Maybe this has already been mentioned or asked but what are the benefits of the friend zone for the uninterested person thats being pursued?
It's highly possible that they just enjoy your company and genuinely want to be friends with you (and that is from personal experience).
The Friend Zone, as WMM alluded to, is not a place to be feared or avoided at all costs. Better that, surely, than the Creepy-Guys-Who-Won't-Leave-Me-Alone Zone. Whereas I may not be the luckiest person in love so far, I consider myself very rich in good friends, some of whom have rejected my romantic advances in the past.
Some women may look at you as their 'back-up' - "If neither of us are married when we turn 40..." - but one shouldn't suspect everybody who rejects them and still wants them around of having ulterior motives. If they do see you like that, then what harm is done? At least they think somewhat fondly of you and would rather end up with you than be alone forever.
P.S. Sorry that I'm posting a lot on this thread. The 'Friend Zone' is a subject close to my heart, as you can probably tell. If you think this is bad, just wait until Olivia posts a 'Bitches Be Crazy' blog - I could write an essay!
Clumeleon
Thank you, "Alice", for shedding some well-informed light on the matter. I can't say my high school German teacher ever went quite so in depth when discussing the origins of words, but us Brits are notoriously bad at learning foreign languages (I'm not trying to cause a riot here, just stereotyping).
I think the subtle "difference" I thought I perceived was simply the formality of the word (I often get quite formal in my prose, even when writing smut). In which case, I feel justified in saying that sometimes one is more apt than the other.
The richness of language rarely fails to fascinate me. Perhaps I should have studied English or Linguistics rather than Mathematics (I take it back! I take it back! I love maths!).
I think the subtle "difference" I thought I perceived was simply the formality of the word (I often get quite formal in my prose, even when writing smut). In which case, I feel justified in saying that sometimes one is more apt than the other.
The richness of language rarely fails to fascinate me. Perhaps I should have studied English or Linguistics rather than Mathematics (I take it back! I take it back! I love maths!).
Clumeleon
I probably would walk around the house naked a lot more if there weren't always Polish workmen wandering around outside my house (nice guys, but a bit nosier than I would like).
As such, my nudity (and even time only in underwear) is fairly limited. To be honest, I don't have any great desire to be naked more than I have to be, it's more laziness than anything else. When clothed, I feel like I can be more productive and get on with my day. It's a psychological thing.
Far from finding nakedness freeing, it kind of puts me on edge, lest someone see me. Curse my modesty.
As such, my nudity (and even time only in underwear) is fairly limited. To be honest, I don't have any great desire to be naked more than I have to be, it's more laziness than anything else. When clothed, I feel like I can be more productive and get on with my day. It's a psychological thing.
Far from finding nakedness freeing, it kind of puts me on edge, lest someone see me. Curse my modesty.
Clumeleon
Honestly, no.
My first and, so far, only love is too dear to me now to ever think about messing it up by 'hooking up' with her, whether she was available or not. I still love her, but in a very different way now and I don't think I could ever have that kind of relationship with her.
With other girls in my past, I know there's a reason that we didn't hook up or didn't work out, so still no. I can't really see myself having a one-night stand with someone I have/had real feelings for - with me, it's all or nothing.
One person I probably would be willing to get together with, just for a night, would be the girl who took my virginity. It's the only realistic situation in which I can see no-strings sex being alright with me. She'd probably be game, I should give her a call...
My first and, so far, only love is too dear to me now to ever think about messing it up by 'hooking up' with her, whether she was available or not. I still love her, but in a very different way now and I don't think I could ever have that kind of relationship with her.
With other girls in my past, I know there's a reason that we didn't hook up or didn't work out, so still no. I can't really see myself having a one-night stand with someone I have/had real feelings for - with me, it's all or nothing.
One person I probably would be willing to get together with, just for a night, would be the girl who took my virginity. It's the only realistic situation in which I can see no-strings sex being alright with me. She'd probably be game, I should give her a call...
Clumeleon
This isn't something I've ever given much thought, to be honest, but I like the question.
I guess I agree with Stephanie, to an extent:
Like, a distinct sort of odour without suspecting her of being unhygienic; clean but natural.
I guess I agree with Stephanie, to an extent:
Quote by stephanie
A healthy, earthy, womanly bouquet....
Like, a distinct sort of odour without suspecting her of being unhygienic; clean but natural.
Clumeleon
In the course of writing a story, it struck me that I didn't know the real difference between 'while' and 'whilst'. I have always used both and felt I knew instinctively when to use one or the other.
When I researched the topic further, I discovered that they are widely considered interchangeable and that 'whilst' is thought to be a more archaic word used only in Britain (and even then, decreasingly so). Even so, I can't help but feel that there is a subtle difference, that they each carry a certain nuance. Sometimes, when I read a sentence back, one feels decidedly more fitting than the other.
So, two questions:
Do any of you non-Britons use the word 'whilst', or is it just us?
If you do use the word 'whilst', do you use it as synonymous with 'while' or do you, like me, feel there is a (perhaps imagined) difference in their meaning (and can anyone pin it down)?
[Of course, I refer throughout to the subordinating conjunction, not the noun, 'while', lest there be pedants amongst (similar situation?) you.]
When I researched the topic further, I discovered that they are widely considered interchangeable and that 'whilst' is thought to be a more archaic word used only in Britain (and even then, decreasingly so). Even so, I can't help but feel that there is a subtle difference, that they each carry a certain nuance. Sometimes, when I read a sentence back, one feels decidedly more fitting than the other.
So, two questions:
Do any of you non-Britons use the word 'whilst', or is it just us?
If you do use the word 'whilst', do you use it as synonymous with 'while' or do you, like me, feel there is a (perhaps imagined) difference in their meaning (and can anyone pin it down)?
[Of course, I refer throughout to the subordinating conjunction, not the noun, 'while', lest there be pedants amongst (similar situation?) you.]
Clumeleon
There was a discussion in another forum (Ask The Author, I believe) about writing in the present tense. Lots of people said how they found this style difficult to read, but others commented that it can be very effective when done well.
I think a lot of people might benefit (I know I would) from an article on how to write good present tense prose, when it is appropriate and what effects it can create. Just a thought.
I think a lot of people might benefit (I know I would) from an article on how to write good present tense prose, when it is appropriate and what effects it can create. Just a thought.
Clumeleon
Quote by DirtyMartini
Btw...I found a great Lesbian Pirate Porn site...
Just thought I'd mention it...
http://fapdu.com/lesbian-pirate.porn
That sounds like the worst porn website ever. I daren't even look.
Clumeleon
Quote by Olivia
Dearest Clum,
Unfortunately the diagnosis for this emotionally confounding situation is... You were in "The Rebound Zone".
Unlike the friend zone, the rebound zone is one where you will get an immediate rush and almost manic release of desire and affection from a person. The texting, public grinding and making out are examples of a woman that had decided to stick it to her to asshole 'on and off again' ex-boyfriend and move on. Unless someone is aware of these 'on/off again' exes lurking in the background, it's easy to take things at face value: That this hottie wants you and it's green-lights ahead.
Rebound Girls (and guys) are great for flings, quickies, fuck-buddies, or one-nighters. It becomes much more complicated when we start to develop feelings for them or have hopes of a relationship because they are usually emotionally unavailable. They are still going through the drama of their break-up or trying to resolve where they stand with their exes and run a very high risk of running back to them. They often act-out initially in a very sexually aggressive or even "high on new love" way with the target of their rebound because they have fragile or broken egos (from their previous relationships) and want the comfort of knowing that they can have it all again (and in record time!).
It seems like you were caught in the cross-hairs of this situation. Once things simmered down, it seems she realized she didn't want to jump into a new relationship yet and started feeling the tugs of her ex-bf. Basically this situation is like playing with an emotional grenade if you already have feelings for her.
You can enjoy the sexual and casual aspect of this relationship with her, but as you wisely realized this can run the risk of ruining your friendship. Until she has sorted herself out, she is not a good prospect for pinning your romantic hopes on.
It sounds like you are already ahead of the game and playing this perfectly. Well done!
Olivia xxx
Thanks for your response, Olivia. There was a bit more to it than it being a straightforward rebound (there were a lot of psychological considerations and she was all about the 'college experience' at the time) but you are essentially right. She picked a bad guy for rebounding, I'm all about commitment, and I think she realised that (if a little too late). Once she finally actually split from her boyfriend, she had a proper rebound period with more appropriate people.
Strange as it sounds, I'm just relieved I didn't sleep with her.
Thanks again, you're better than I had at first suspected.
x 
Clumeleon
Quote by studintraining
Ok, probably a dumb question but how do you avoid being put in the friendzone? I'm pretty much guaranteed to be in the friendzone if I can get a woman to talk to me for longer than 5 minutes and I'm tired of not being seen as a potential partner
Before you even say a word, grab her tits.
Works every time...
Clumeleon
So many of your points ring true with me, Olivia. Fortunately (did I just say that?), I have been in this situation so many times that I figured out everything you said a while ago and no longer spend long periods of time pining for girls that are never going to be interested. I consider myself the 'master' of the friend zone.
I have a peculiar example of this sort of thing, though. There was a girl who genuinely seemed more interested in me than I was in her to begin with (and that wasn't just in my imagination, trust me). On our second meeting, I got her number and she barely stopped texting me from then on. When we met again (by arrangement) at a 'disco', she was all over me and my friends actually double-took at me grinding and making out with her (so unlike me). She took me back to her flat and we spent the night together, although there was no sex.
Seeing as this sort of thing NEVER happens to me, and she seemed pretty much perfect for me (hot to boot), I quickly became infatuated. Already wary of my previous failings with women, I strived to stay out of the friend zone; I wanted to take the relationship forward. Unfortunately, there was an on-off ex-boyfriend lurking in the background, conversation about whom I purposely avoided. I was and am sure I was making my intentions clear but it still seemed like I was slipping into the position of confidante yet again. I was so frustrated.
Before I let myself get too far into the zone, I decided I would just have a flat-out conversation with her about it. When she expressed then that she didn't want that kind of relationship with me then, I said to her, "Should I just forget about it then?" and she said that she didn't want me to do that. I was so confused, but carried on. It wouldn't have been so bad if she hadn't left that glimmer of hope. The friendship became excruciating to me because of my attachment to her (especially seeing her being jerked around by her asshole (ex-)boyfriend). It was a very emotional couple of months for both of us, but I didn't make any more advances on her. Another long overdue conversation put me much more firmly in the friend zone, and I could finally start to move on properly.
A few weeks later, when she drunkenly came onto me, it took all my strength to resist her (I deserve a fucking medal, quite honestly). I knew I couldn't put myself through that drama. That nearly destroyed our friendship, but thankfully we got through it and are still very good friends to this day. I realise we weren't as compatible as I had myself believe and I'm quite glad nothing came of it in the end.
So be cautious - even when it seems like it could go somewhere, you can still end up in the friend zone. The important thing is, like Olivia says, to realise when you're there. It took me a bit longer in this case, but I put that largely down to her. Sure, I got hurt, but I learned a lot for future relationships.
Also, I take exception to you describing Broadway musicals as "boring". To be frank, I'd love it if more of my friends would invite me out on such 'dates'.
Love your work, O.
I have a peculiar example of this sort of thing, though. There was a girl who genuinely seemed more interested in me than I was in her to begin with (and that wasn't just in my imagination, trust me). On our second meeting, I got her number and she barely stopped texting me from then on. When we met again (by arrangement) at a 'disco', she was all over me and my friends actually double-took at me grinding and making out with her (so unlike me). She took me back to her flat and we spent the night together, although there was no sex.
Seeing as this sort of thing NEVER happens to me, and she seemed pretty much perfect for me (hot to boot), I quickly became infatuated. Already wary of my previous failings with women, I strived to stay out of the friend zone; I wanted to take the relationship forward. Unfortunately, there was an on-off ex-boyfriend lurking in the background, conversation about whom I purposely avoided. I was and am sure I was making my intentions clear but it still seemed like I was slipping into the position of confidante yet again. I was so frustrated.
Before I let myself get too far into the zone, I decided I would just have a flat-out conversation with her about it. When she expressed then that she didn't want that kind of relationship with me then, I said to her, "Should I just forget about it then?" and she said that she didn't want me to do that. I was so confused, but carried on. It wouldn't have been so bad if she hadn't left that glimmer of hope. The friendship became excruciating to me because of my attachment to her (especially seeing her being jerked around by her asshole (ex-)boyfriend). It was a very emotional couple of months for both of us, but I didn't make any more advances on her. Another long overdue conversation put me much more firmly in the friend zone, and I could finally start to move on properly.
A few weeks later, when she drunkenly came onto me, it took all my strength to resist her (I deserve a fucking medal, quite honestly). I knew I couldn't put myself through that drama. That nearly destroyed our friendship, but thankfully we got through it and are still very good friends to this day. I realise we weren't as compatible as I had myself believe and I'm quite glad nothing came of it in the end.
So be cautious - even when it seems like it could go somewhere, you can still end up in the friend zone. The important thing is, like Olivia says, to realise when you're there. It took me a bit longer in this case, but I put that largely down to her. Sure, I got hurt, but I learned a lot for future relationships.
Also, I take exception to you describing Broadway musicals as "boring". To be frank, I'd love it if more of my friends would invite me out on such 'dates'.
Love your work, O.
Clumeleon
This will probably be a common one:
Repeat (or very similar) threads, especially in the Personal/Relationships section, just because someone couldn't be bothered to have a look through old topics or, heaven forbid, use the search function.
Also, people who quote massive chunks of text, and that person's quote, and pictures and videos, so their post takes up a huge amount of room, and then they only reference one little part of it, or just say something like, "I agree."
Repeat (or very similar) threads, especially in the Personal/Relationships section, just because someone couldn't be bothered to have a look through old topics or, heaven forbid, use the search function.
Also, people who quote massive chunks of text, and that person's quote, and pictures and videos, so their post takes up a huge amount of room, and then they only reference one little part of it, or just say something like, "I agree."
Clumeleon
I used to know a reasonable amount of German, but I let it slip. I'd love to be able to speak fluently and then I would have the option of living in Germany, which I have often though about.
EDIT: Incidentally, I have a German-English dictionary of swear words ('Pardon My German').
I would also like to learn Gàidhlig, just because I love everything Scottish. Probably one of the least useful languages still alive today.
I did a little Italian in school, it's quite easy to pick up (in my opinion) but I was too busy then to put any real effort into learning it. It's the kind of language that makes a lot of sense, grammatically and stuff.
Best of luck with whatever you decide to learn.
EDIT: Incidentally, I have a German-English dictionary of swear words ('Pardon My German').
I would also like to learn Gàidhlig, just because I love everything Scottish. Probably one of the least useful languages still alive today.
I did a little Italian in school, it's quite easy to pick up (in my opinion) but I was too busy then to put any real effort into learning it. It's the kind of language that makes a lot of sense, grammatically and stuff.
Best of luck with whatever you decide to learn.
