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clum
1 month ago
Bisexual Cis Male, 35
0 miles · Scotland
Forum
Clumeleon
Quote by Magical_felix
There is all kind of stuff in this post that is idealistic and hard to believe just from what some mods have done publicly.. But since it's not unanimous - the vote - and since it just worked out that way - naturally - that the mods get ribbons then it is a waste of energy to continue on with this talk.
Fair point. I am a bit idealistic sometimes and I don't see the shit that's actually going on until someone physically points it out to me. I take most people at face value. What I have said is certainly true for myself, if that's any comfort.
Clumeleon
@MF - A lot of mods do get EPs but that is, as you said, because they tend to be very good writers. A lot of mods, like myself, got EPs and then later became mods.
We do have our prejudices but we can all recognise good writing when we see it, no matter what category it's in. We have our prejudices but, by and large, we act as professional as possible about these things.
The vote on EP nominations does not have to be passed unanimously (I think someone misspoke there) but by a majority (might be two-thirds, correct me if you know I'm wrong). I don't think any of the current story verifiers have any qualms about giving a No vote to a story that they just didn't think was all that, whether the author is a mod or not. We're all big boys and girls and I don't think anyone would be offended by that (unless they started making some really harsh comments).
I'm glad you are raising these points so that they can be clarified.
We do have our prejudices but we can all recognise good writing when we see it, no matter what category it's in. We have our prejudices but, by and large, we act as professional as possible about these things.
The vote on EP nominations does not have to be passed unanimously (I think someone misspoke there) but by a majority (might be two-thirds, correct me if you know I'm wrong). I don't think any of the current story verifiers have any qualms about giving a No vote to a story that they just didn't think was all that, whether the author is a mod or not. We're all big boys and girls and I don't think anyone would be offended by that (unless they started making some really harsh comments).
I'm glad you are raising these points so that they can be clarified.
Clumeleon
Quote by Shylass
Clum, just to make you feel better, I made a spelling mistake (not on purpose), and I can't believe nobody else noticed it!
I did notice but thought you might have done it on purpose so didn't want to point it out. It was more of a typographical error than a misspelling anyway.
My gingas are so yummy, by the way.
Clumeleon
Quote by DLizze
(All you writers should take note of the unusual space between the opening quotation mark and the first apostrophe. Normally, in writing dialogue, there would be no space between it and the first spoken word. But in this case it is necessary, to avoid "losing" the apostrophe in a sea of hash marks.)
Thanks, DLizze. That's something I would never have thought to mention but would probably have done instinctively. Take note, aspiring Shakespeares (pluralisation ⇒ no apostrophe).
Clumeleon
I have been delighted and encouraged by the reception my threads on punctuation have had thus far. My list of future topics is now a good length but I am always willing to take on suggestions.
Today's lesson is in the art of the apostrophe ('). This little nuisance is probably top of many Story Verifiers' I-Wish-They-Would-Get-It-Right lists. The problem with the apostrophe is that there are many cases to consider and, even after that, there are loads of exceptions.
I cannot possibly cover everything that needs to be said but hopefully I will give a good enough grounding that there will only be the occasional instance of having to look up the correct usage on Google. As with previous threads, I will be happy to answer your questions and respond to your disputes/objections.
Contractions
Apostrophes can be used, in some cases, to turn two words into one or to shorten a word to make it sound slightly different. This is (usually) done by replacing one or more letters with a single apostrophe. This technique, used outside of dialogue, gives quite an informal tone to your writing so bear that in mind when using it.
It is particularly common to do this with a verb + "not" or verb + "have" construction. It is important to note that the apostrophe should not (necessarily) be placed where there would normally be a space between the two words but where the letter(s) has been omitted.
Example 1
"You don't have to stop," said Fred, "But you could've told me you were going to stick it up my bum."
There are some strange cases, such as "shan't" and "won't", which do not follow the usual pattern and you should be aware of these.
Another common form of contraction is to remove the first or last letters of a word. This is very rarely seen outside of dialogue as it usually gives a colloquial way of saying something. Frequent examples involve dropping the "g" from a word ending "ing" or removing the "h" from the start of a word.
Example 2
"I'm tellin' you, Margaret, it was as 'eavy as a bag of sugar."
(I threw in a little bonus contraction for you there). Note, if your sentence begins with a contracted word then the first letter appearing should still be capitalised.
Please, if you can, avoid double contractions such as "wouldn't've"; they are utterly loathsome.
Contractions pop up all over the place. Make sure that, if you are using them, you're using them correctly.
Possession
The apostrophe is often used to denote possession. This should be done by adjoining an apostrophe and an "s" to the end of the noun (in most cases).
Example 1
Joey's dick was not nearly as big as Kenny's but it was huge next to everybody else's. His dick's thickness was something to be marvelled at.
Unfortunately, it is not always quite as straightforward as that - we haven't discussed what to do with words that end with an "s". As you read this, bear in mind that there are exceptions to almost every "rule" I give.
Singular nouns, including people's names, follow the usual rules.
Example 2
The witness's account of her boss's affair was music to Chris's ears.
This would be the natural way to say this sentence but people often stumble when writing because of the confusion around the many rules of apostrophes. My advice is to go with your gut but go cautiously.
Plural nouns ending in "s" do not require an additional "s" after the apostrophe.
Example 3
The ladies' performance was extremely arousing and the guys' dicks were soon taking a sound beating. The men's faces were a picture.
I have highlighted a particular irritant of mine - they are the faces of the men so the apostrophe comes after "men", not after "mens". In general, this is a good way to check if you are using your apostrophes correctly.
To illustrate some common exceptions, I provide an extra example.
Example 4
"For goodness' sake, Mairi," cried Fred, "Stop taking Jesus' name in vain when we're fucking."
Luckily, these don't come up very often. If doubtful, write what sounds best when you read it in your head. You might still be wrong but other people have a better chance of knowing what you meant.
It's vs. Its
This is something that so many people get wrong (and I can understand why) and just something that needs to be learned by rote.
If you are contracting "it is" or "it has", use the apostrophe in the way I have described above.
If you are indicating possession by "it" then no apostrophe is required.
Example
"It's this old back massager; I think its batteries need to be replaced."
In fact, other possessive pronouns also have this peculiarity: if it belongs to you/her/us/them then it is yours/hers/ours/theirs. The English language is weird like that.
Pluralisation
Apostrophes should NOT be used to pluralise nouns. Do not do it.
That's your lot for this evening. If you really do not know where or whether to use an apostrophe, try to rephrase your sentence in such a way that it is not necessary. They can be bothersome little buggars.
Thank you for your time. You may now return to the porn.
Today's lesson is in the art of the apostrophe ('). This little nuisance is probably top of many Story Verifiers' I-Wish-They-Would-Get-It-Right lists. The problem with the apostrophe is that there are many cases to consider and, even after that, there are loads of exceptions.
I cannot possibly cover everything that needs to be said but hopefully I will give a good enough grounding that there will only be the occasional instance of having to look up the correct usage on Google. As with previous threads, I will be happy to answer your questions and respond to your disputes/objections.
Contractions
Apostrophes can be used, in some cases, to turn two words into one or to shorten a word to make it sound slightly different. This is (usually) done by replacing one or more letters with a single apostrophe. This technique, used outside of dialogue, gives quite an informal tone to your writing so bear that in mind when using it.
It is particularly common to do this with a verb + "not" or verb + "have" construction. It is important to note that the apostrophe should not (necessarily) be placed where there would normally be a space between the two words but where the letter(s) has been omitted.
Example 1
"You don't have to stop," said Fred, "But you could've told me you were going to stick it up my bum."
There are some strange cases, such as "shan't" and "won't", which do not follow the usual pattern and you should be aware of these.
Another common form of contraction is to remove the first or last letters of a word. This is very rarely seen outside of dialogue as it usually gives a colloquial way of saying something. Frequent examples involve dropping the "g" from a word ending "ing" or removing the "h" from the start of a word.
Example 2
"I'm tellin' you, Margaret, it was as 'eavy as a bag of sugar."
(I threw in a little bonus contraction for you there). Note, if your sentence begins with a contracted word then the first letter appearing should still be capitalised.
Please, if you can, avoid double contractions such as "wouldn't've"; they are utterly loathsome.
Contractions pop up all over the place. Make sure that, if you are using them, you're using them correctly.
Possession
The apostrophe is often used to denote possession. This should be done by adjoining an apostrophe and an "s" to the end of the noun (in most cases).
Example 1
Joey's dick was not nearly as big as Kenny's but it was huge next to everybody else's. His dick's thickness was something to be marvelled at.
Unfortunately, it is not always quite as straightforward as that - we haven't discussed what to do with words that end with an "s". As you read this, bear in mind that there are exceptions to almost every "rule" I give.
Singular nouns, including people's names, follow the usual rules.
Example 2
The witness's account of her boss's affair was music to Chris's ears.
This would be the natural way to say this sentence but people often stumble when writing because of the confusion around the many rules of apostrophes. My advice is to go with your gut but go cautiously.
Plural nouns ending in "s" do not require an additional "s" after the apostrophe.
Example 3
The ladies' performance was extremely arousing and the guys' dicks were soon taking a sound beating. The men's faces were a picture.
I have highlighted a particular irritant of mine - they are the faces of the men so the apostrophe comes after "men", not after "mens". In general, this is a good way to check if you are using your apostrophes correctly.
To illustrate some common exceptions, I provide an extra example.
Example 4
"For goodness' sake, Mairi," cried Fred, "Stop taking Jesus' name in vain when we're fucking."
Luckily, these don't come up very often. If doubtful, write what sounds best when you read it in your head. You might still be wrong but other people have a better chance of knowing what you meant.
It's vs. Its
This is something that so many people get wrong (and I can understand why) and just something that needs to be learned by rote.
If you are contracting "it is" or "it has", use the apostrophe in the way I have described above.
If you are indicating possession by "it" then no apostrophe is required.
Example
"It's this old back massager; I think its batteries need to be replaced."
In fact, other possessive pronouns also have this peculiarity: if it belongs to you/her/us/them then it is yours/hers/ours/theirs. The English language is weird like that.
Pluralisation
Apostrophes should NOT be used to pluralise nouns. Do not do it.
That's your lot for this evening. If you really do not know where or whether to use an apostrophe, try to rephrase your sentence in such a way that it is not necessary. They can be bothersome little buggars.
Thank you for your time. You may now return to the porn.
Clumeleon
Just a little add-on that may be of interest:
I have a friend who just turned 21 last month. He is a very attractive young man: tall, dark and handsome. Of all my friends, he is the most intelligent (and I go to a good uni). He's funny, charming and just an all-round good guy.
He's a virgin.
Do we think any less of him because of it? Heck no.
My point? Even if you weren't as fat and ugly as you think you are, it doesn't mean you would've gotten laid by now. Everyone has good qualities; focus on yours.
I have a friend who just turned 21 last month. He is a very attractive young man: tall, dark and handsome. Of all my friends, he is the most intelligent (and I go to a good uni). He's funny, charming and just an all-round good guy.
He's a virgin.
Do we think any less of him because of it? Heck no.
My point? Even if you weren't as fat and ugly as you think you are, it doesn't mean you would've gotten laid by now. Everyone has good qualities; focus on yours.
)
Clumeleon
Quote by Droids
Now i'm 19 and still a virgin and i'll admit i've never kissed a girl.
Not a big deal at all; you'll probably find that there are a number of members here in similar positions. I got my first kiss at 18, lost my virginity at 19 but then didn't have sex again until I was nearly 21. Don't get hung up on it; we all go at our own pace. I believe (in the UK at least) that 19 is the average age people first have sex.[citation needed]
Quote by Droids
Why is this so looked down upon by most people?
Based on my own experience, I would have to disagree with your premise. Almost none of the people I know would think any less of a virgin of any age. Even my most jock-esque friends would have a few jibes and a laugh and then say no more about it (or take you out and try to get you laid).
If you are finding that a lot of people around you are looking down on you because of this then you probably need to surround yourself with different people. I get the feeling, though, that they are only looking down on you in your mind.
Quote by Droids
It's not my fault that my parents barely let me do anything let alone have a girlfriend or go out and meet girls.
A fair enough point but I warn against always blaming others for your own circumstances; it will not lead to a happy life. Having protective parents isn't always the terrible thing that people make it out to be. You may find that one day you look back and thank your parents for the way they were because it led to a much more fulfilling life for you.
Quote by Droids
Oh and please don't even try to Flame me or make fun of me it gets really old.
On Lush, it is very rare for this to happen. People are generally very accepting here.
Quote by Droids
And yes i've had girlfriends before i've just never done anything.
If you're not ready to kiss a girl who is supposed to be your girlfriend then you are definitely not ready to have any kind of sexual relationship. Baby steps, Droids; baby steps.
Clumeleon
Can I remind you all that it is against site guidelines to discuss or make mention of the subject of . I can see that the comments made thus far were harmless but let's please not continue the discussion in this vein.
Clumeleon
Quote by nicola
If you're on the front of the site, and press the [Random Story] button, a story say in the lesbian category is pulled up. Every subsequent press of the random button brings up a lesbian story only, no other categories.
Is that deliberate? I thought if you pressed a random story button, you'd get any story out of our 10K or so, regardless of category.
Or is this the only way to do it, so that if you want a random lesbian story only, having just read one and being in that category area, it will pull up those from that category only?If that's the case, you have to always go back to the home page first, and then press random again.
This is still the way the Random Story button is. Could it be changed so that it truly is random? Now that people can block certain categories from appearing, there shouldn't be a problem, right?