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julie_slink
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 32
0 miles · Fort Worth
Forum
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Good afternoon all. Just stopping by for some afternoon coffee. Been a busy week and I could use a good jolt of caffeine. I missed the excitement of the contest winner announcements last week and I’m looking forward to checking out some of the entries I missed. When do you think they will announce the next theme? I’m super slow, but I’d like to enter the next one. Hope everyone is having a great day.
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Quote by Just_A_Guy_You_Know
It's getting slippery in here.
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Quote by Verbal
I have serious skills in creating convoluted turds of sentences. It's the simple ones that give me problems.
I was particularly proud of "newly mopped floor wet love cave."
His anaconda throbstick slithered lustily toward my swampy sex Jacuzzi and dangerously coiled its thick, hard length around my deepest, darkest fantasties, violently squeezing its rippling, masculine muscle to seductively drain every last drop of sweet, fragrant, sex juices from my needy, sopping fuckcave.
I'm way too pleased with this.
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Quote by Verbal
I think LOTS of adjectives and adverbs are the key, particularly if they all mean the same thing. Also many different words for cock and pussy, because it gets so repetitive otherwise. "He forcefully and vigorously took his enormous, red, pulsing, turgid, cum-soaked manrod and enthusiastically rammed it swiftly and deeply into her hot, shaved, twitching, soft, newly-mopped-floor wet love cave. Her sex cavern hungrily engulfed his large, stiff, throbbing, lovemeat and squeezed it like a tube of toothpaste."
This is great. I often end up wasting time constructing or writing stupid things when I should be spending that time on actual projects. It's so fun though. I look at this and think "wow, he actually expended effort and talent to construct such a convoluted turd of a sentence. This is an underappreciated and underrated art form for sure. I see that this was from a year ago, but I hope you've been keeping track of your adverb usage.
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Quote by Lauradj
Are you talking about that Shrek is love, Shrek is life thing? Because if so, oh wow, yes that was very creepy.
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Quote by Ping
I personally have never metaphor I didn't like.
Fours need lovin' too.
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Anyone else heard of this legend? I was 16 or 17 in high school and my English teacher told us this story. We laughed at her and no one really listened because we couldn't even buy booze. How would we stockpile it?
I had several nice bottles of wine disappear over Christmas a few years back and now I try to be careful with adverbs. Some are ok, but pay attention. It just takes one bad experience.
I had several nice bottles of wine disappear over Christmas a few years back and now I try to be careful with adverbs. Some are ok, but pay attention. It just takes one bad experience.
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I'm hoping to revive this old thread so I have a humorous excuse to make crappy memes and be a smart-ass.
So if you have some horrible (?) advice, please share it. I sometimes find that the worst pieces of advice contain a nugget of truth.
And I feel like it's never a bad idea to review the basics. I'll start with my favorite use of metaphors.
This is an very powerful tool when used correctly. Please use with caution.
So if you have some horrible (?) advice, please share it. I sometimes find that the worst pieces of advice contain a nugget of truth.
And I feel like it's never a bad idea to review the basics. I'll start with my favorite use of metaphors.
This is an very powerful tool when used correctly. Please use with caution.
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Quote by sprite
we have something like that, tho it got off to a slow start. lol
https://forum.lushstories.com/yaf_postst55697p2_Horrible-Advice-for-Talentless-Authors.aspx
Nice. Thanks, Sprite. This is exactly what I was looking for. I'm going to try and revive it.
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I was discussing a poem with a friend here and one of their suggestions led me to a realization. I exaggerated this “tip” for humor, but the underlying principle (keep it simple) actually helped me. I thought I’d share this and see if there are any other fans of this type of dry humor or those “terrible advice” memes.
I didn't see any, but are there any humorous writing threads around here? Threads that poke fun at cliché, bad advice, beginner writing mistakes, and the like? If not, I thought it could be fun to start a “Terrible (?) Writing Tips” thread, but I was hesitant because I have no idea how it would be received. To me, it's even funnier if the tips contain some amount of actually good advice and aren't 100% ridiculous. The often mentioned rules about "show, don't tell" and "don't use excessive adverbs" could make for some really funny advice quotes.
It might be a bit niche, but hopefully someone will get a kick out of this. I had a blast making it, anyway, and I couldn't stop audibly laughing at the blurry Comic Sans. Hoping to find some people in the community who share a similar sense of humor as me (which can be difficult to communicate online).
I didn't see any, but are there any humorous writing threads around here? Threads that poke fun at cliché, bad advice, beginner writing mistakes, and the like? If not, I thought it could be fun to start a “Terrible (?) Writing Tips” thread, but I was hesitant because I have no idea how it would be received. To me, it's even funnier if the tips contain some amount of actually good advice and aren't 100% ridiculous. The often mentioned rules about "show, don't tell" and "don't use excessive adverbs" could make for some really funny advice quotes.
It might be a bit niche, but hopefully someone will get a kick out of this. I had a blast making it, anyway, and I couldn't stop audibly laughing at the blurry Comic Sans. Hoping to find some people in the community who share a similar sense of humor as me (which can be difficult to communicate online).
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Quote by Verbal
Sold another flash piece.Domesticity, if anyone remembers that one. Drinks are on me. In real life what I got paid would not pay for more than 2 or 3 drinks tops, but hey, virtual drinks, virtual money!
That's 7 of them sold!
Good for you, Verbal! I'll buy you a beer (or whatever you prefer). It's a dream of mine to retire young and find a way to turn my weird, erotic thoughts into some side cash. From what I've heard, it can be very difficult to break into. Will have to check out your work soon.
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How I'm feeling reading this thread...
I'll take a lemonade if you got it. It's hot here.
I'll take a lemonade if you got it. It's hot here.
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I'd appreciate a shot of Bailey's. I'm fascinated by some of the more niche erotica categories that exist. Bigfoot, Nessie, Dinosaurs, Kaiju. There's even a niche for the New England fans. An Amazon review describes it as "the Iliad of our time."
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Quote by Verbal
It's a Rorschach test. It's whatever you want it to be. Porn, writing, dating, social, political, chat, cyber. It's all here. You see what you wanna see.
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I've been lurking around the forums for a bit and felt I should stop by and say hello to everyone. I've met a few of the frequent patrons already, but greetings to everyone else. I wandered in here quite curiously and overheard a discussion concerning bigfoot erotica. Such learned conversation convinced me to have a seat and order a drink.
Can I get a coffee, please?
Can I get a coffee, please?
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Just another brick in the wall
Leading the lady to her fall
Twas Pink Floyd made her stumble
Leading the lady to her fall
Twas Pink Floyd made her stumble
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A partner who indulges my existing fantasies while simultaneously bringing me to an emotional level that unlocks a new realm of unimagined possibilities to explore.
You are about to hook up with your crush and they do something, physical or non-physical, that completely kills the mood/attraction and makes you instantly leave. What's was the deal-breaker?
You are about to hook up with your crush and they do something, physical or non-physical, that completely kills the mood/attraction and makes you instantly leave. What's was the deal-breaker?
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For forming a deviant harem of bikers to terrorize the locals with exhibitionist exploits.
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And apparently the Old Spice guy (I'm on a horse - look at these diamonds commercial) is playing Mike. Super strange casting imo, but it kinda makes me excited for some reason.
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Quote by Verbal
There's a sequel!?
It is a great book (and movie).
There's no sequel to the book (though there is one for the Shining which I've been meaning to check out). I was talking about the second movie, which is set to release sometime next year. Jessica Chastain, James McAvoy, and Bill Hader have been cast as Bev, Bill, and Richie. So pumped!
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Watched the Cloverfield Paradox on Netflix last night. It had some really cool ideas, but the movie was just OK.