Redhair' beautiful asscheeks
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marcosurbina
Over 90 days ago
Male, 75
Mexico
Forum
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Well, shameless, it's your turn now to find the differences and similarities in both pictures about this housewife. Be specific, please!
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There was a prostitute on the beach without any arms or legs, and crying. A man came along and asked her what the matter was. She tells him that she has not been hugged before, so he picks her up and hugs her.
The next day she is still there crying, the same man comes along and asks her what the matter is. She tells him that she has not been kissed before, so he picks her up and kisses her.
The next day she's still there crying, and same man comes along again. He asks her sternly what the matter is and she tells him that she has not been fucked before. So the man picks her up, walks to the end of the pier, and throws her in the sea and says: "Now you're fucked."
&&&&&&&&
I never worry about action, but only inaction. Winston Churchill
The next day she is still there crying, the same man comes along and asks her what the matter is. She tells him that she has not been kissed before, so he picks her up and kisses her.
The next day she's still there crying, and same man comes along again. He asks her sternly what the matter is and she tells him that she has not been fucked before. So the man picks her up, walks to the end of the pier, and throws her in the sea and says: "Now you're fucked."
&&&&&&&&
I never worry about action, but only inaction. Winston Churchill
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Not always, Mr. Rococol (Italian name). Let's listen to this:
Why do nice guys marry Thai prostitutes?
Back home, it would be unthinkable to marry a prostitute (Would you pay your own wife for a hand-job behind the bottle-bank?). In Thailand, however, to ask a stranger how he met his partner would be crassness bordering on Tourette's Syndrome. Ex-hooker wives and girlfriends seem to be the norm here.
In fairness, many of them are lovely girls and you would never guess the secrets of their lurid past but others are as rough as fuck. Kind-hearted guys arrive in Thailand each day and there are plenty of damsels apparently in distress to choose from. The widespread belief that hookers want to be saved is typified by headlines like "37 prostitutes rescued from massage parlour" but they have a rather hollow ring to them.
When a Thai bar girl says "I want leave bar go school get good job", what she really means is "fund me a life of idle luxury so I can be more selective about the guys I fuck for pleasure and profit behind your back." She already has a cushy number with great pay and perks. It's her straight-laced sisters slaving away in factories and rice paddies that deserve our sympathy. Most guys already know this, so why do they still choose a Thai hooker?
Why do nice guys marry Thai prostitutes?
Back home, it would be unthinkable to marry a prostitute (Would you pay your own wife for a hand-job behind the bottle-bank?). In Thailand, however, to ask a stranger how he met his partner would be crassness bordering on Tourette's Syndrome. Ex-hooker wives and girlfriends seem to be the norm here.
In fairness, many of them are lovely girls and you would never guess the secrets of their lurid past but others are as rough as fuck. Kind-hearted guys arrive in Thailand each day and there are plenty of damsels apparently in distress to choose from. The widespread belief that hookers want to be saved is typified by headlines like "37 prostitutes rescued from massage parlour" but they have a rather hollow ring to them.
When a Thai bar girl says "I want leave bar go school get good job", what she really means is "fund me a life of idle luxury so I can be more selective about the guys I fuck for pleasure and profit behind your back." She already has a cushy number with great pay and perks. It's her straight-laced sisters slaving away in factories and rice paddies that deserve our sympathy. Most guys already know this, so why do they still choose a Thai hooker?
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Quote by shameless009
Man I love a good looking REDHEAD
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Saucylady is not wishing to be my friend anymore after she sees my photo. I'm too old, 58 yo.
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The primary raw materials used in the manufacture of the body of motorcycle are metal, plastic and rubber. The motorcycle frame is composed almost completely of metal. The seat is made from a synthetic substance, such as polyurethane. Good for this riding ass!!
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A truck driver stops at a whore house. He tells the madam heres $500, give me 2 sandwichs, 2 cold beers, and the fattest, ugliest woman you have. The madam replies, sir for $500 you can have any woman here. The truck driver says I'm not here for sex, I'm home sick.
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I liked that one a lot, Shameless009. Never heard of it. Let's listen to this oldie:
Little Boy in a Whorehouse: A chain of events is a number of actions and their effects that are contiguous and linked together.
There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it."
The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?"
Of course the Madam said no.
He said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want."
Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door. The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?"
He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant for dinner, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitters, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and HE'S the son-of-a-bitch who ran over my FROG!"
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Little boy's mom to get a disease soon.
Little Boy in a Whorehouse: A chain of events is a number of actions and their effects that are contiguous and linked together.
There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it."
The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?"
Of course the Madam said no.
He said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want."
Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door. The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?"
He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant for dinner, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitters, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and HE'S the son-of-a-bitch who ran over my FROG!"
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Little boy's mom to get a disease soon.
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Yes, of course, Mr. Shameless, Eve Angel Santa is good for you too this year.
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Mr. Shameless009:
My wife says that the best thing about making your own Christmas quilt is that once it is finished you get to share it with your family and friends! She wants to share it with you too.
She says that a quilt can be used by someone on a day-to-day basis and serve as a constant reminder of the love, care and attention to detail that went into making it. My wife also maintains that making your own quilt is a very hands-on process that is very much a blend of art and skill. To make a quilt from start to finish can be a time-consuming process but it is not overly difficult to do as long as you do not try to rush it.
The result at the end of the day is almost always worth the effort so remember just to relax and take your time! Here she’s preparing to lay down on it for you to see!!
My wife says that the best thing about making your own Christmas quilt is that once it is finished you get to share it with your family and friends! She wants to share it with you too.
She says that a quilt can be used by someone on a day-to-day basis and serve as a constant reminder of the love, care and attention to detail that went into making it. My wife also maintains that making your own quilt is a very hands-on process that is very much a blend of art and skill. To make a quilt from start to finish can be a time-consuming process but it is not overly difficult to do as long as you do not try to rush it.
The result at the end of the day is almost always worth the effort so remember just to relax and take your time! Here she’s preparing to lay down on it for you to see!!
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In a fancy Paris restarant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth. If you lie, you disappear. On day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror. The brunette goes first.
"I think I'm the smartest on earth."
"POOF! She disappears.
The red head goes up to try. "I think I'm the prietties woman on earth."
"POOF!" She disappears.
The blonde goes up.
"I think..."
"POOF!"
&&&&&&&&&&&
Ha, ha, ha. The brunette gave it a try: "I think I'm the smartest on earth."
"I think I'm the smartest on earth."
"POOF! She disappears.
The red head goes up to try. "I think I'm the prietties woman on earth."
"POOF!" She disappears.
The blonde goes up.
"I think..."
"POOF!"
&&&&&&&&&&&
Ha, ha, ha. The brunette gave it a try: "I think I'm the smartest on earth."
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Mr. Shameless009: you're more worried about the quilt, yes she made it herself,but you should worry more about the panty instead. It's made of silk. You won't ask me if it's wooden door, will you?
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Unlocking your car
Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue:
Blonde One: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde Two: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder! it's starting to rain, and the top is down!
Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue:
Blonde One: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde Two: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder! it's starting to rain, and the top is down!
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Farmer`s Mercedes
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, 'I think I can stand over the hole!' So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, 'Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up.' And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
%%%%%%%%%
Ha, ha, well, I'm Marcos and I'm hung like a horse!! I have my Mercedes though. I'm taking Nicola for a ride around Caracas!!
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, 'I think I can stand over the hole!' So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, 'Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up.' And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
%%%%%%%%%
Ha, ha, well, I'm Marcos and I'm hung like a horse!! I have my Mercedes though. I'm taking Nicola for a ride around Caracas!!
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The top 50 things to do or say when you wake up to your roommate having sex...
50. (the obvious) "Ooooooo."
49. "That works better the other way around."
48. Sniff, sniff. "Is something burning?"
47. "Damn, that's complicated"
46. "Wait, wait, here take my pillow."
45. "All right, already. _I_ came!"
44. "You guys need a value pak."
43. Smoke a pipe, every once in a while wave it around and say, "Good show, old bean!"
42. "Is that sperm or a mudpack?"
41. "You've got something stuck in your teeth."
40. "4 out of 5 dentists say that's bad for your enamel."
39. Go to the fridge, break open a cold one and pick up the remote. Point and click. Complain when they don't change position.
38. "You know, they say that three's a charm."
37. Suggest your favorite position.
36. Shine a flashlight at them. "This is a citizen's arrest, assume the positition."
35. "Bring in the Gimp!"
34. "Hold that pose!"
33. Sit up and bounce vigorously on your bed, clapping and squealing with joy.
32. Start singing Meatloaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light."
31. Sing "Shake your bootie."
30. "A little to the left."
29. "Is that a penis in your girlfriend, or are you just happy to see me?"
28. "Is there room for two in there?"
27. "Two words: penis extension."
26. Invite others in as a cheering section.
25. Charge admission at the door.
24. Make and hold up score cards.
23. All of them should read 6.9.
22. Whip out pen and paper and take notes.
21. "Maybe it would help if you..."
20. "That reminds me of a joke I heard."
19. "That's what you call erect?"
18. "Let the chicken go, he had nothing to do with it!"
17. Hold up two bags and say, "Paper or plastic?"
16. Roll over, grunt and say, "I'd rather be fishing."
15. "Use the Heimlich; she's got something caught in her throat!"
14. "May I cut in?"
13. "That's illegal in Arkansas."
12. "Holy whips and chains, Batman!"
11. Scream at the top of your lungs. When they ask what's wrong say you thought you were having a nightmare.
10. "Look, if you insist on me being part of this, let me at least get her for a few minutes!"
09. Take pictures. Explain that it was a Kodak moment.
08. Recite Condom Month slogans. i.e. 'Pack you wiener before you bean her.' and 'Wrap you wacker before you pack her.'
07. "Let's make a sandwich!"
06. "Is that hard enough for you?"
05. "I'm going to the water fountain, can I get you anything?"
04. "I think you dropped something."
03. "So, you like to eat at the Y?"
02. Grab your camcorder and ask, "How much do you think they'd pay to see this on Pay-per-view?"
01. "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?"
&&&&&&&&&&
What would you say if it were your case? Answer, please!!
50. (the obvious) "Ooooooo."
49. "That works better the other way around."
48. Sniff, sniff. "Is something burning?"
47. "Damn, that's complicated"
46. "Wait, wait, here take my pillow."
45. "All right, already. _I_ came!"
44. "You guys need a value pak."
43. Smoke a pipe, every once in a while wave it around and say, "Good show, old bean!"
42. "Is that sperm or a mudpack?"
41. "You've got something stuck in your teeth."
40. "4 out of 5 dentists say that's bad for your enamel."
39. Go to the fridge, break open a cold one and pick up the remote. Point and click. Complain when they don't change position.
38. "You know, they say that three's a charm."
37. Suggest your favorite position.
36. Shine a flashlight at them. "This is a citizen's arrest, assume the positition."
35. "Bring in the Gimp!"
34. "Hold that pose!"
33. Sit up and bounce vigorously on your bed, clapping and squealing with joy.
32. Start singing Meatloaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light."
31. Sing "Shake your bootie."
30. "A little to the left."
29. "Is that a penis in your girlfriend, or are you just happy to see me?"
28. "Is there room for two in there?"
27. "Two words: penis extension."
26. Invite others in as a cheering section.
25. Charge admission at the door.
24. Make and hold up score cards.
23. All of them should read 6.9.
22. Whip out pen and paper and take notes.
21. "Maybe it would help if you..."
20. "That reminds me of a joke I heard."
19. "That's what you call erect?"
18. "Let the chicken go, he had nothing to do with it!"
17. Hold up two bags and say, "Paper or plastic?"
16. Roll over, grunt and say, "I'd rather be fishing."
15. "Use the Heimlich; she's got something caught in her throat!"
14. "May I cut in?"
13. "That's illegal in Arkansas."
12. "Holy whips and chains, Batman!"
11. Scream at the top of your lungs. When they ask what's wrong say you thought you were having a nightmare.
10. "Look, if you insist on me being part of this, let me at least get her for a few minutes!"
09. Take pictures. Explain that it was a Kodak moment.
08. Recite Condom Month slogans. i.e. 'Pack you wiener before you bean her.' and 'Wrap you wacker before you pack her.'
07. "Let's make a sandwich!"
06. "Is that hard enough for you?"
05. "I'm going to the water fountain, can I get you anything?"
04. "I think you dropped something."
03. "So, you like to eat at the Y?"
02. Grab your camcorder and ask, "How much do you think they'd pay to see this on Pay-per-view?"
01. "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?"
&&&&&&&&&&
What would you say if it were your case? Answer, please!!
Active Ink Slinger
Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass!"
Too late - he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.
"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem ... If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car!"
Too late - he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.
"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem ... If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car!"
Active Ink Slinger
A couple were in their bedroom and the girl says to her boyfriend, "I wish I had bigger tits".
The boyfriend says "Well what I recommend is to get some toilet tissue and rub it between your tits for 2 months".
"How will that help to make my tits bigger?" asks the girlfriend.
"Well it worked for your ass" says the boyfriend.
The boyfriend says "Well what I recommend is to get some toilet tissue and rub it between your tits for 2 months".
"How will that help to make my tits bigger?" asks the girlfriend.
"Well it worked for your ass" says the boyfriend.
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Mr. Shameless009 is always inquiring about what might be my wife's pic among so meny. Luckily you can know her now. Soon she'll display her face, not her ... instead. Sorry if she's ugly, but she was too beautiful at 16.
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The Mormon pilot and copilot were on their final approach to an unfamiliar airport when the following conversation was overheard:
"Copilot, do you see that runway? I've never seen one so short before, you'd better give me full flaps!"
"Aye Sir, full flaps as ordered."
Just before touchdown the pilot again turns to his copilot, "Damn that's short! Standby to reverse thrust, lock down the brakes, and drop the stern anchor if you can find one, this is going to be a rough one!"
Moments later after a very abrupt and unpleasant landing, the pilot again exclaims, "Oh man, have you ever seen such a short runway?"
The copilot turns to his left, gazes into the distance, then turns to his right, then answers, "No sir....but isn't it wide!"
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She can't. She's a sexy mormon!!
"Copilot, do you see that runway? I've never seen one so short before, you'd better give me full flaps!"
"Aye Sir, full flaps as ordered."
Just before touchdown the pilot again turns to his copilot, "Damn that's short! Standby to reverse thrust, lock down the brakes, and drop the stern anchor if you can find one, this is going to be a rough one!"
Moments later after a very abrupt and unpleasant landing, the pilot again exclaims, "Oh man, have you ever seen such a short runway?"
The copilot turns to his left, gazes into the distance, then turns to his right, then answers, "No sir....but isn't it wide!"
%%%%%%%%%
She can't. She's a sexy mormon!!
Active Ink Slinger
Discovering infidelity, or deception by a loved one, creates a lot of uncertainty.
A policeman sent his wife and child to a sea resort for a vacation. After a week he joined them in the hotel. As soon as he came to the hotel room he wanted to make love with his wife.
"No darling, we can't do it here, what if the kid wakes up?"
"You are right, lets go to the beach."
They went to the empty beach and start to make love. All of a sudden, a policeman run into them.
"Put your cloths on immediately, shame on you, you can't do that in public."
"You are right", said the husband, "but it was a moment of weakness. We didn't see each other for a week. By the way, I am a policeman too and it would be very embarrassing if you fine me."
"Don't worry, you are a colleague and it is your first time. But this is the third time I caught this bitch making love on this beach in the last week and she will have to pay for it."
A policeman sent his wife and child to a sea resort for a vacation. After a week he joined them in the hotel. As soon as he came to the hotel room he wanted to make love with his wife.
"No darling, we can't do it here, what if the kid wakes up?"
"You are right, lets go to the beach."
They went to the empty beach and start to make love. All of a sudden, a policeman run into them.
"Put your cloths on immediately, shame on you, you can't do that in public."
"You are right", said the husband, "but it was a moment of weakness. We didn't see each other for a week. By the way, I am a policeman too and it would be very embarrassing if you fine me."
"Don't worry, you are a colleague and it is your first time. But this is the third time I caught this bitch making love on this beach in the last week and she will have to pay for it."
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Mr. Shameless and Rocco: she's a model who was raised in Los Angeles. She's half Guatemalan, half American. She's a guard in the first picture if you pay attention to details, but you wouldn't try escape from this Alcatraz prison, sure wishing to stay forever with her as a guard.
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1. A product of the fine arts, especially a painting or sculpture.
2. Something likened to a fine artistic work, as by reason of beauty or craft. Now, take a look at an art of the work. On the other hand, a sculpture is three-dimensional artwork created by Marcos, such as statues.
2. Something likened to a fine artistic work, as by reason of beauty or craft. Now, take a look at an art of the work. On the other hand, a sculpture is three-dimensional artwork created by Marcos, such as statues.
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Oh, come on, Shameless. You're nevere satisfied. You're not a bricklayer anymore, are you? By they way: where's Marcos'
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A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house. She heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found he husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing.
"Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much.
"Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant, when you were 16? ...And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?"
"Yes, of course," she replied.
"Well, I would have been released tonight."
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Work or Prison?
In prison, you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. At work, you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
In prison, you get three meals a day. At work, you only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.
In prison, you get time off for good behavior. At work, you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
In prison, a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. At work, you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
In prison, you can watch TV and play games. At work, you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison, you get your own toilet. At work, you have to share.
In prison, they allow your family and friends to visit. At work, you cannot even speak to your family and friends.
In prison, all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required. At work, you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
In prison, there are wardens who are often sadistic. At work, they are called managers.
"Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much.
"Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant, when you were 16? ...And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?"
"Yes, of course," she replied.
"Well, I would have been released tonight."
%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Work or Prison?
In prison, you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. At work, you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
In prison, you get three meals a day. At work, you only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.
In prison, you get time off for good behavior. At work, you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
In prison, a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. At work, you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
In prison, you can watch TV and play games. At work, you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison, you get your own toilet. At work, you have to share.
In prison, they allow your family and friends to visit. At work, you cannot even speak to your family and friends.
In prison, all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required. At work, you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
In prison, there are wardens who are often sadistic. At work, they are called managers.