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Demand the name and phone number of the babe in the red heels........or its a colonoscopy for Dude!!!
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mercianknight
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 64
0 miles · Evesham
Forum
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just trawling the threads and thought I wish Sprite all the best on this endeavour and thank you all for some great pic posts. Gotta admit that I'd never considered the concept of 'sexy' fairy tales.
I mean, really, getting a boner for Snow White or Cinderella seems so ...... wrong?
I mean, really, getting a boner for Snow White or Cinderella seems so ...... wrong?
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.........posted them on E-Bay and traded them in for a years subscription to "Prostate Examiner" under the illusion it was a US College Football periodical she could give to her buddy, DirtyMartini. Upon receipt of his first copy, DM, excited at the prospect of having Nic 'examine' him, decided to.......
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Ruby only made Santa's naughty list by stealing candies from babies.
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fist bump to celebrate the thought of getting a piece of Ruby
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Quote by Loislane
Okay I can see that the noodles might soak up the alchohol and the broth would rehydrate you...I'll stick to a greasy fry up
I always suspected Lois was a soul mate **sighs**
I've never managed to convince the wife of the benefits of a fry-up to cure a hang-over - she still clings to glasses of ginger ale the next morning.
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hug and deep kiss before coating her in chocolate ready to be dessert....yummy
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Once I rocovered my sense of gravity, I found myself agreeing with Felix - well said.
When I think about it again all that happens is
Oh darn....
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Thanks very much Gav. I am super grateful for this latest handy, dandy widget. 
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Quote by magnificent1rascal
Sorry, I'll whisper. I just thought, since it was clarified in the fourth message in the thread but everyone seemed to miss it, that perhaps I needed to raise my voice before.
Badges relate to games because in games you progress to higher levels and gain achievements or notoriety as you do. If Lush were a game, I would be a Level 6 Rapscallion, while you would be a Level 8 Wizard.
I once made the quarter-finals of the village 'tiddly-winks' championship, so what level does that make me?
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Nooooooooooooooooooooo!! Is nothing sacred? 
I'll never be able to enjoy the head-turning scene with my daughter ever again. Curse you WMM
I'll never be able to enjoy the head-turning scene with my daughter ever again. Curse you WMM
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Quote by chefkathleen
Man that's tough! We try to watch all of them just to get in the spirit through the month.
Some we also watch:
Elf
Scrooged
National Lampoons Christmas Vacation
It's a Wonderful Life
Bad Santa (Billy Bob makes me laugh)
A Christmas Story (You'll shoot yer eye out kid!)
Hmmm, I think Chef's been at the Egg Nog already. Confusing her films with her cartoons.Still love ya though.
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There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to 'God' with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.
The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.
Next Saturday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope.. Can you please help me?
Sincerely, Edna
The postal worker was touched.. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds.
By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.
All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?
Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was £4 missing.
I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.
Sincerely, Edna
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to 'God' with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.
The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.
Next Saturday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope.. Can you please help me?
Sincerely, Edna
The postal worker was touched.. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds.
By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.
All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?
Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was £4 missing.
I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.
Sincerely, Edna
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So, at last I now know it was Yuzar who stole my Abba collection, aided and abetted by Ruby.
Shoulda guessed it was an inside job
Shoulda guessed it was an inside job
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.....callled the Police Impound yard and asked the befuddled Officer on the phone if they had any vacancies for her Toads. Exasperated, she explained to the Officer that surely they must have a need for her Toad, if only to drive some of those 'Toad' Vehicles that she heard they store there, whereupon......
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Quote by SouthernerEroticer
No, not my style. I have been started on though, some people do go out looking for it.
ditto. Not cool.
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It's never been a topic for thought nor discussion for as long as I can recall. Pull it back to avoid dribbling down your leg when you shake dry.
Of course, pulling the skin back repeatedly, in public, whilst pleasurable will get you locked up!!
Of course, pulling the skin back repeatedly, in public, whilst pleasurable will get you locked up!!
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I have no problem with this thread simply because it is something I already do for my own wife. I know what I like and as long as the wife knows her outfit keeps me edgy all night, she has no problems complying. Oh, and just in case any of you ladies get the wrong idea and 'berate' me, be assured that I am always mindful and respectful of what is considered 'proper'.
The hardest events to dress for are the 'black tie' affairs. It is easy for the woman to be elegant and feel glamorous, however, that does not always translate to 'sexy' for your man so, despite my fondness for women in short skirts/dresses I would dress her as follows:
1. get the basics right. Jewellry to complement the skin tone and eyes, capped off with an inch wide satin choker. Hair worn up.
2. The tease. No bra, just the clear support cups if needed. Matching black lacy thong and garter belt, barely there (tan) lace top stocking, 4" stiletto black satin pumps;
3. the wrapping. Clingy, but not too tight, fitted black cotton-silk blend full length dress with cut-away deep V-cut to the front to reveal enticing amount of cleavage behind a covering of see-through tan lace adorned, discretely with small rhinestones. A single front split which naturally drapes fully closed when standing still but reveals acres of shapely leg, and barest glimpse of the bottom of the lace-top stocking, as she walks. The dress would be long-sleeved to negate the need for a shawl or wrap which would detract from the erotic, classical image.
Now THAT is sexy. Oh, and to confirm........ I am VERY visual (think 'Shallow Hal').
Just a regular night out with hubby would be another completely different outfit, and so on and so forth.
The hardest events to dress for are the 'black tie' affairs. It is easy for the woman to be elegant and feel glamorous, however, that does not always translate to 'sexy' for your man so, despite my fondness for women in short skirts/dresses I would dress her as follows:
1. get the basics right. Jewellry to complement the skin tone and eyes, capped off with an inch wide satin choker. Hair worn up.
2. The tease. No bra, just the clear support cups if needed. Matching black lacy thong and garter belt, barely there (tan) lace top stocking, 4" stiletto black satin pumps;
3. the wrapping. Clingy, but not too tight, fitted black cotton-silk blend full length dress with cut-away deep V-cut to the front to reveal enticing amount of cleavage behind a covering of see-through tan lace adorned, discretely with small rhinestones. A single front split which naturally drapes fully closed when standing still but reveals acres of shapely leg, and barest glimpse of the bottom of the lace-top stocking, as she walks. The dress would be long-sleeved to negate the need for a shawl or wrap which would detract from the erotic, classical image.
Now THAT is sexy. Oh, and to confirm........ I am VERY visual (think 'Shallow Hal').
Just a regular night out with hubby would be another completely different outfit, and so on and so forth.
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"I don't care how cold it is, next time you forget your sleeping bag on a camping trip you are NOT sharing with me!!"
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Granted....unfortunately, you set the bar too high for yourself and you are immediately arrested upon arrival and placed in quarantine for life.
I wish large/global corporations who spend a fortune telling us how much they care for their customers ACTUALLY meant and practiced what they preached.
I wish large/global corporations who spend a fortune telling us how much they care for their customers ACTUALLY meant and practiced what they preached.
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First up, let me say that I was drinking up to 10-12 mugs of coffee a day and it was all down to my profession. I never knew how 'addicted' to caffeine my body was until I read an article on the damaging effects of too much coffee about 5 or 6 years ago so decided to go 'cold turkey'.
OMG - what was I thinking!! I had the shakes, intense migraines, the works for about 2 weeks as my body cleansed itself. Don't even kid yourself that decaf works, it didn't.
Anyway, I still drink coffee, but deliberately limit myself to one, possibly two in the morning. That leaves me free to enjoy a cuppa tea at around 3pm.
Best of luck Nic.
OMG - what was I thinking!! I had the shakes, intense migraines, the works for about 2 weeks as my body cleansed itself. Don't even kid yourself that decaf works, it didn't.
Anyway, I still drink coffee, but deliberately limit myself to one, possibly two in the morning. That leaves me free to enjoy a cuppa tea at around 3pm.
Best of luck Nic.