Well of course he did not wed the dad

I think that would have been rather sad

'T was the girl that he dated

And then impregnated

That he had to marry in stead

A fire ignited

It's burning out of control

Fed by our passion

My hips match the beat

Of my wildly beating heart

And your hips respond

Body to body

Two hearts beating together

As if they are one

Nipple

Rings

There once was a guy from Gibraltar

Whose attempts to seduce could not falter

All his parties were wild

Till he got one with child

And her dad dragged him straight to the altar

Come lie down with me

Let me hold you close to me

You're safe in my arms

Diced

Onion

Definitely nice (but naughty too).

Neither, I get sunburned very fast. The beach, to me, is just what I have to pass to get into the sea.

Lake or ocean/sea?

REMEMBRANCES

Remembering every moment eager men brought roses and nice chocolates, expecting salaciousness.

A man arrives at St Peter’s portal and behind a door he sees an enormous wall filled with clocks. On closer inspection he finds out, every clock has a name under it. He also notices that the clocks have only one hand, which moves at random. He goes to St Peter and asks him: “What are those clocks for?”
St Peter: “They’re lie-o-meters. Every time someone on earth tells a lie, the hand on his clock moves one second.”
“Oh”, says the guy and after careful inspection of that wall he adds: “I don’t see a clock for Donald Trump?”
“No,” says St Peter: “His hangs in the kitchen as cooling fan.”

Most of us probably know the biblical story of how Adam and Eve were created. What most people do not realise, is that that story is incomplete. It does not mention for instance, that Adam to two steps back when he saw Eve for the first time… He didn’t know how big he was going to get. Another thing not mentioned, is that Eve was still closed and hairless down there. Here’s the untold part of the story:

One day Eve was resting in the shade of a big tree when high up there a branch snapped and a monkey fell out of the tree. Since that day, monkeys have a bald arse and women have hair down there.

Eve decided to avoid trees from then on and laid herself down in a meadow. She was enjoying the sun when a passing stork got a cramp in its right wing and crashed right down on her. Since that day, storks have a red bill and women have a slit down there.

Of course that hurt, so Eve dove into the river to cool it all down a bit. It was all starting to feel a bit better when a big fish collided with her. Since then it is unclear if pussy smells like fish or fish smells like pussy.

Ablate - Battle

Drape - Pears

Quote by SinninForYou

Uhh, machine and gun are separate words ...

Perhaps in most dictionaries, but it's regularly written as one word by hordes of people, so I'll stick with it.

On second thought, machinegun, right or wrong, does not start with a N so:

SOON

She owns one nailclipper

SOON

She owns one machinegun

A krentenbol (raisin bun)

Roses are red

The taste of you lingers

And so does your smell

On my face and my fingers

True love does not own, claim or demand and it knows no jealousy.

The sun woke me up

My nose buried in your hair

Your taste lingering

My swimmers expelled

My refraction time lengthens

But my tongue still works

I'm sure that acts on your part

Came from goodness instilled in your heart

It was warm, it was pure

But you also made sure

That your loving caress made it hard

You lie beside me

The sun shining down on you

I cannot but rise

Thoroughly sated

But never too exhausted

For more sweaty fun

He feared that he broke it in two

But she really knew what to do

With the use of her tongue

It did not take long

To get it up again, feeling like new

Even when cooler

We might get sweaty again

From the heat we share

Opens - Snoop

Spiels - Sleeps

He said to her: I cannot hold out

Let's do it right here on the foldout

But the foldout bed broke

And clamped down on his poke

Man, I never heard someone yell so loud