First I need to say that I understand your feelings. It's not trivial and it's not easy.
There is no magic treatment that works for everyone. Proper medication sometimes helps, but it usually has to be tied to psychological approaches as well. You are a sexy girl from your pics, anyway, but feeling sexy comes about when you finally deal with the issues that are causing your depression. Happiness, enthusiasm, sensuality is not something you can achieve directly by trying for it, it comes naturally as you absorb yourself in your life. Perhaps you are trying too hard for specific things.
Just remember, the medication is not a cure but a kind of training wheels that you can use as you try to eliminate the feelings that are causing you pain.
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realz
Over 90 days ago
Male, 76
United States
Forum
I think the psychological criticism of 'slut' is driven by men's (and society's) fear of female sexual power.
There are different things meant by 'slut'. Sometimes it's the coldly manipulative types, which can be understandably negative. And other times it's used against girls who are simply doing what many men want to do, have a good time. There's nothing wrong with that and I have contempt for jerks (both men and women) who abuse them with the label 'slut'.
There are different things meant by 'slut'. Sometimes it's the coldly manipulative types, which can be understandably negative. And other times it's used against girls who are simply doing what many men want to do, have a good time. There's nothing wrong with that and I have contempt for jerks (both men and women) who abuse them with the label 'slut'.
Quote by sprite
*blushes* in a perfect world, instead of a ring on my finger, she'll put a collar on me. ... LOL
My ex wife did that with her new guy recently. They found a officiant who was cool with it, they exchanged rings and she collard him. Not my thing, but they're happy.
*laughter* well, we will need a touch of class, won't we. clothing will be optional, btw, a
Not the same wedding as above but I did attend a nudist (both participants and audience) wedding once. Bride wore a veil, groom a tophat, and the brides maids carried flowers. (think of the savings on bridesmaid dresses!)
We've both been married before, so we decided to have a truly schlocky wedding. Hooked up with a wedding mill in Gatlinburg TN (the Vegas of the east when it comes to weddings) and had a non religious (we're both atheist) on a mountaintop. The witnesses were the photographer and our dog. Afterward we went back and ate the supermarket wedding cake (part of the wedding package) in our camper.
It was great!
After it was all over, we told her daughter and my son.
It was great!
After it was all over, we told her daughter and my son.
It was never a specific goal, though a few years ago I was thinking back and realized about a quarter of the women I had been with in the past were married, though most were in separation. One got pregnant (from her husband, not me) and decided to get serious about being with her husband again.
I've been on the other side too. A couple of guys managed to seduce my first wife and I eventually lost her (not because of the sex, I wouldn't have dumped her just because she got seduced) when she fell in love with one of them. It was painful, but in the long run, it was better then keeping her in a relationship that no longer held her interest.
I've been on the other side too. A couple of guys managed to seduce my first wife and I eventually lost her (not because of the sex, I wouldn't have dumped her just because she got seduced) when she fell in love with one of them. It was painful, but in the long run, it was better then keeping her in a relationship that no longer held her interest.
Quote by Catnip
HOW do you strip?
It's easy to names songs and beats that are great to strip to but when it comes to the moves I look like a big Q.
I tried dancing once and looking sexy(on demand), I was laughed at. I really would like to learn but whenever I move, trying to look hot, it comes out very unnaturally.
Step by step tips. HOW do you do it, would be welcomed.
And not only in what order to drop the clothes but the actual moves and how they work best together.
(I have enjoyed many lapdances over the years, and savored what a good dancer can do)
It's mostly attitude. It's mostly attitude
It's f a psych game that makes it hot, not the details of clothes removal.
first, you must have confidence and be in control. It's one thing to be shy and passive in bed (the guy will simply take the lead in that case), but in the lapdance, it's YOUR game. You've got what he wants, you KNOW it, and he knows it.
With that in mind, don't try to copy some stripper you may have seen in a movie. You take stuff off as you wish, but keep eye contact. You're toying with his sex drive (that's the whole point), you're taking your time, and feeding back on his response. If he starts to get a little grabby (guys do that, especially with a partner they already know), you need to take charge. He's got to wait. Then you give him a little more at a time, just enough to keep him excited.
In the end he's going to be aching for the treat in front of him. But the reward is waiting until you're READY to give it to him.
That's what makes a strip sexy, tweaking a man's lust but keeping in control.
I love to give her full control. I'm not going to grab her head or 'take charge'. Instead I want to lie back and for her to explore me with her tongue, her lips, her fingers. Gentle, sensual. I want her to toy with me and to tease.
That scenario is all it takes to make me cum hard.
That scenario is all it takes to make me cum hard.
Well, I've been there.
When we started dating, she admitted to being bisexual. It was always a bit of a hinderance to our relationship. I was never comfortable when she openly eyed up girls when we were together (it didn't bother me much when she eyed guys). I never knew when I'd have to compete with a woman for her attention. I never quite knew what was going on when she hung out with friends. Eventually we parted and I have a straight woman now.
When we started dating, she admitted to being bisexual. It was always a bit of a hinderance to our relationship. I was never comfortable when she openly eyed up girls when we were together (it didn't bother me much when she eyed guys). I never knew when I'd have to compete with a woman for her attention. I never quite knew what was going on when she hung out with friends. Eventually we parted and I have a straight woman now.
There's an interesting balance here. Women can get sex much easier, but may have a harder time actually enjoying it with some random stranger, where a man can enjoy pretty much any attractive partner.
But the difference goes down to biology. We are mammals. When ready to reproduce, the female (or her body) sends out 'signals' to males, who instinctively respond, wanting to be 'the one'. The ones that don't respond quickly and with enthusiasm are quickly eliminated from the gene pool. She gets to have, ideally, her choice of males. That signal is really a one way thing. Her body is what triggers the male arousal, her body is what also determines when she is ready to mate. Male ''attractiveness' serves more as a mechanism to choose a genetically good mate (biologically she needs to be selective and rapid sexual response would get in the way), rather than initiating the process.
Now humans are also different from most other mammals an have evolved some additional strategies like long term mating, and sexual receptiveness in females even when not fertile, which complicate the picture a lot, but these too have evolutionary roots. But the basic difference is summed up in the above paragraph.
But the difference goes down to biology. We are mammals. When ready to reproduce, the female (or her body) sends out 'signals' to males, who instinctively respond, wanting to be 'the one'. The ones that don't respond quickly and with enthusiasm are quickly eliminated from the gene pool. She gets to have, ideally, her choice of males. That signal is really a one way thing. Her body is what triggers the male arousal, her body is what also determines when she is ready to mate. Male ''attractiveness' serves more as a mechanism to choose a genetically good mate (biologically she needs to be selective and rapid sexual response would get in the way), rather than initiating the process.
Now humans are also different from most other mammals an have evolved some additional strategies like long term mating, and sexual receptiveness in females even when not fertile, which complicate the picture a lot, but these too have evolutionary roots. But the basic difference is summed up in the above paragraph.
Quote by neversatisfied
Wow--- your answers surprise me. I guess I always thought men prefered au natural more. Will make me rethink my morning decisions!! Thanks and keep those great comments coming.
They're both great. My wife spends plenty of time both ways including with company (we're members of a nude swim club) but it's also a lot of fun to take off lacy panties.
I could not go 20 years (as some post here), or even less, sexless. Period.
So here I"m going to spill a little of my personal story. When sex started to dry up with my ex wife it caused a lot of tension. It was very hard to deal with. But we still had closeness to a large extent, though other than the fact we slept cuddled in the same bed, she was more like my sister. Since I was missing sex, not contact, the two became separate to me. I found that strippers, or an occasionally masseuse, would (for a price) provide the sexual release I craved then send me home to my wife. This was so much less of a problem than having an actual affair where a girlfriend would be expecting much more from me. Back home, I could sleep relaxed. Did she suspect? Maybe. But I was home every night, and there was no pressure on my wife to have sex. So it probably worked out for the best for both of us.
Eventually she discovered that she was craving a very different sexual style, a world where she could completely dominate a man (or sometimes a woman), I really wasn't interested. So we took up separate lovers. Rarely did we have sex, though we still slept cuddled in the same bed. Eventually we divorced to free us our separate lifestyles.
I'm glad I did not remain sexless and that I worked it out through discreet encounters. That was the therapy I needed. The frustration would have turned to anger, would have destroyed what we had left.
So here I"m going to spill a little of my personal story. When sex started to dry up with my ex wife it caused a lot of tension. It was very hard to deal with. But we still had closeness to a large extent, though other than the fact we slept cuddled in the same bed, she was more like my sister. Since I was missing sex, not contact, the two became separate to me. I found that strippers, or an occasionally masseuse, would (for a price) provide the sexual release I craved then send me home to my wife. This was so much less of a problem than having an actual affair where a girlfriend would be expecting much more from me. Back home, I could sleep relaxed. Did she suspect? Maybe. But I was home every night, and there was no pressure on my wife to have sex. So it probably worked out for the best for both of us.
Eventually she discovered that she was craving a very different sexual style, a world where she could completely dominate a man (or sometimes a woman), I really wasn't interested. So we took up separate lovers. Rarely did we have sex, though we still slept cuddled in the same bed. Eventually we divorced to free us our separate lifestyles.
I'm glad I did not remain sexless and that I worked it out through discreet encounters. That was the therapy I needed. The frustration would have turned to anger, would have destroyed what we had left.
I've dated girls with a wide variety of numbers, never bothered me one way or another. I never pushed for an answer.
I didn't ask for my (now) wife's number, but early on it came out when we were filling out some fun survey. I think she watched me to see my reaction, but I had no problem with it. After that she was a bit more relaxed with me.
I didn't ask for my (now) wife's number, but early on it came out when we were filling out some fun survey. I think she watched me to see my reaction, but I had no problem with it. After that she was a bit more relaxed with me.