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rxtales
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female, 35
0 miles · United Kingdom

Forum

Quote by bikebum1975


The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.


It will however make cats dizzy.


Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.



Poor Kitty!
I remember seeing these when I was last in Germany and they would always give me a good chuckle. I will give you translations.

Fits On Every Cucumber:



This Certainly Makes Amusing (Yeah I know bad english):



On Into The Pile:



Also For You Vegetables:

lol. We got our second kitty (a boy) a year ago, and he still hasn't quite learnt to bathe yet. So we have to bathe him on a regular basis. Now he is big and able to fight back, but when he was little he just sat their and looked very cute. After his first bath:

Quote by lexylove
Quote by rxtales
I asked him to hit me. What I should have said was slap me, because he actually punched my nose really hard. This caused to me to bite his penis softly and this caused him elow me off the bed somehow breaking my ribs.


Holy Shit, Rx! That definitely falls under the heading of 'disappointing', and then some!

I'm picturing some bastard punching his girl in the nose while she blows him....he's damn lucky to have a cock at all after that!


Yes he is...
oops...

When I saw the title I thought it was going to be another sat nav caused accident
I can think of two that were equally as bad. I used to go out with this guy and the sex was terrible (always). One night it was especially bad and I couldn't get comfortable. I kept squirming around just hoping that he would finish soon, when all of a sudden he raised my arm and pinned it above my. I felt this shooting pain in my shoulder and shouted in pain... and he would not get off of me, i think he thought I was shouting out of pleasure. Once he realized I was in pain we stopped. THat night ended up in A and E and I had a dislocated shoulder.

I also had a sexual encounter where I ended up breaking 2 ribs and my nose. I asked him to hit me. What I should have said was slap me, because he actually punched my nose really hard. This caused to me to bite his penis softly and this caused him elow me off the bed somehow breaking my ribs.

Oh and there was the sexual encounter with myself where I broke my wrist. My boyfirend and I have a long distance relationship, and one night we were talking on the webcam. I then decided to play with my self while he watched. I then put my hand back on the bed at an akward angle and broke it.
The Morning After - Gwyneth Herbert
Nothing I do - Jamie Cullun
Taylor - Jack Johnson
Running On Sunshine - Jesus Jackson

Book: Tied between the Count of Monte Cristo and Gone With The Wind

Luxury Item: Hair Tie
Quote by Loislane
Quote by rxtales
Quote by Loislane
I let and ex video me from his mobile while I was on top of him having sex...I never knew if the clip was on a sex site somewhere or being passed around to all his friends...scary...never again


not knowing is better. When I broke up with my ex he put 3 videos of us up on the net and emailed it to all his friends and me as well.


that's bloody terrible ..do you want me to gypsey curse him ???


no thankyou... I am not too angry about it anymore