Quote by MistressS
I was sent a question today that really got me thinking, and I'm putting it up for others to answer as well.

"Should the goal of a dom/me ever be to make his/her sub cry? this includes crying from physical.puishment and mental punishment and how should a dom/me react when a sub cries when its not planned?"

The scenario that was give n with this question was that a Dom/me is having to explain to their sub how they broke a rule, and during this the sub starts to cry.

The person was who sent me this had several feelings about this, upset of course for having made their sub cry, but also happy since it reassured them that their sub truly was sorry for breaking a rule.

For my answer, I personally never set out to make my sub cry, I don't know how to explain why, it just never something I would want or try to do , but like they described, sometimes she will start to cry if I am having to punish her, or explain I am upset with something and I get the same mix of feelings, I feel bad for making her cry, but I also feel reassured that she is truly sorry for breaking a rule or misbehaving. But when it gets to the point where she is crying, I always stop what I'm doing to comfort her and reassure her she's forgiven.

So I ask, anyone who is willing to answer the question themselves, or who just want to give their views to come forward, and thank you in advance.

I got the same question and, since my answer is non specific, i think i'll go ahead and share my POV on the subject from the other side of the equation as well...

"Should the goal of a dom/me ever be to make his/her sub cry? this includes crying from physical.puishment and mental punishment and how should a dom/me react when a sub cries when its not planned?"

No. That should never be the goal. Sure, it happens, and it's not always a bad thing. Sometimes the sheer release of emotions or of physical sensation will bring me to tears, other times frustration or pain may, but it's never the goal, simply a by product, and it's never a bad thing, at least in my experience.

Now, if we are talking punishment, yeah, once again, it's not the goal, the goal is to simply make your point and to swiftly punish your sub for her actions. Now, that said, yeah, when i know i've messed up? when i know that i have forced my Mistress to punish me, something i KNOW she doesn't enjoy doing (this is key, listen up - a Dom/me should never want to punish their sub, and most Dom/mes truly don't enjoy it - in fact, i feel worse about forcing my Mistress - be it Mistress Laura or Ms Kate - to punish me than i do about the actual punishment, because it's as hurtful to them as it is to me) then, yes, there are tears shed, it's an emotional thing for me, i truly feel badly and am remorseful.

you will feel bad when your sub cries. don't let that stop you from administering punishment if she's earned it. she NEEDS to be punished, trust me on this. explain to her why she is being punished, make sure she understands what rule she broke, that your expectations are clear, that you expect her to learn from this and not repeat the behavior, and then punish her. once done, forgive her, tell her you know she'll do better next time, assure her that you still want her, and then move on.

That all said, and i should have included this in my private answer as well, if she's breaking down into sobs, not just crying, but yeah, turning it into a sob fest, then it's time for a time out, hold her, comfort her, tell her it's ok, that you forgive her, make sure she knows that you still expect her not to let it happen again, but don't ever make her feel like you're going to
'discard' her or stop caring about/loving her. remember, in some ways, Sub's take on the characteristics of pets and you need to treat them with a little extra care. Just like you're not going to (hopefully) beat a kitten for making a mess on the floor, don't dump your sub, or even joke about doing it, if she messes up.

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