Sav couldn’t remember the last time she’d taken a deep breath. Adrenaline; that’s what had gotten her to this place. Adrenaline paired with a heavy dosage of fear. But unlike the fear she’d felt in previous months, pleasure was nowhere to be found. She wondered, for the millionth time, if she’d lost her mind, if she was making a mistake, if her humiliation held no bounds when it came to Celeste. But no, she wouldn’t let her inner critic win, no matter how loud it was insistent on being. Over time, Celeste had taught her how to quell her fears, harness her pain, and transform it into something otherworldly. She could do this. She would do this. In many ways, she felt that this was always the inevitable outcome. Her fate had been cemented since the day she’d first locked eyes with Celeste. Did her old roommate know this would be how things would end when they met all those weeks ago? As the door opened and Celeste appeared again before her, as easily as an apparition, Sav knew she had her answer.
“Savannah; what a welcome surprise,” Celeste trilled, the smile on her face belying even a hint of the surprise she claimed to have. “Please come in.”
Taking a deep breath, Sav stepped through the threshold certain that, no matter what, her life would never again be the same.
_____________
Sav lay with her head in Celeste’s lap watching the embers of the fire flicker in the early evening light. They were fully ensconced in Fall now, and the dramatic change in weather was enough to give her whiplash. Though she missed the long Summer days and warm, fragrant, evenings, there was something magical about Autumn in Maine. In all her life, she’d never seen colors so vibrant. It was distractingly beautiful to watch Mother Nature produce such a stunning death. Her paints paled in comparison to the palette that she saw every time she looked out the window at the trees and their falling leaves. She’d always thought that Summer was her favorite season, but as Celeste gently massaged her scalp, Sav said a silent prayer for the coziness of Fall. It felt like a gift to have any excuse to snuggle up to Celeste, and the crisp air had certainly provided her with that opportunity on more than one occasion. As her roommate expertly found tension she didn’t even know she carried and kneaded it away, she sighed into the drugging sensation.
Her mind wandering, Sav couldn’t help but think about how talented Celeste’s hands were. Capable of inflicting immense pleasure or intense pain, yet dexterous and nimble enough to create stunning works of art. To Sav, they were lethal weapons, despite their softness and grace.
The intimacy of the moment gave Sav the courage to ask a question that had been niggling at her for the last several weeks.
“Umm...Celeste?”
“Savannah.”
“What’s — what’s gonna happen when the retreat ends? You know with us.”
Celeste’s hand stopped moving. Sav stopped breathing. She felt the pressure of Celeste’s hand gripping her hair and, with a gentle tug, her head was turned and Celeste looked down into her eyes.
“What do you want to happen, Savannah?”
It was a question that Sav had been asking herself for weeks now. She’d gotten so close to Celeste on this retreat and learned so much about art, her needs, her sexuality, and, most especially, her desires. But, as time wore on, she realized that her feelings for her roommate went far deeper than merely being artistic peers or fuck buddies. They had a real bond, in and outside of the bedroom. They laughed constantly and Celeste, even with her exacting standards, made Savannah feel safe. Never before had someone been so invested in her. Never before had she felt so seen. That had to mean something, right?
But was she just being naive? Of course, things felt perfect in their little bubble of isolation; but this wasn’t exactly real. Eventually, they’d have to leave this place and get on with their lives. Yes, they were together now, but in just a few weeks’ time she’d go back to Los Angeles and Celeste would return to Portland. What kind of relationship, or even friendship, could they have with nearly 1,000 miles separating them? Did she even want a relationship? She’d just gotten out of one a few months ago and she’d certainly never had one with a woman. And was even considering a relationship presumptuous of her? All of these experiences might’ve been new and meaningful for her, but who knew if Celeste shared her sentiments. Frustrated that she didn’t have even one proper answer for her never-ending questions, she whispered the only truth she had access to.
“I don’t know.”
Celeste merely nodded and continued her massage, but Sav swore she detected a flicker of melancholy in her roommate's eyes.
“Then perhaps we should only broach this subject again when you figure that out.”
_____________
Celeste pressed a small note into Sav’s hand before giving her one last bruising kiss and hopping into her cab. Sav could only watch in stunned silence as the yellow car drove further and further away. When she could no longer see the vehicle, she collapsed on the porch of their once shared home and burst into tears. 12 weeks ago she’d said goodbye to her whole life and everything in it, yet none of it had caused her heart to ache like this.
Eventually, Sav decided that she needed to pull herself together. The artist’s retreat had come and gone, her flight was in just a few hours, and she didn’t have time to wallow. Opening the note she’d been clinging to, she found an address and three simple words. “Keep in touch.”
_____________
But Sav didn’t keep in touch. Days passed and every time she felt compelled to reach out to Celeste she lost her nerve. What did Celeste expect her to do with an address anyway? Was she nothing more than a pen pal for her former roommate? It wasn’t like they hadn’t exchanged phone numbers in the first few days they met. It was handy if one of them was in town and needed the other to pick something up. Did Celeste think Sav wasn’t worth more than three measly words? Days turned into weeks, weeks became months, and with no communications from Celeste, Sav started to wonder if she’d imagined the whole experience.
_____________
Panting, Sav followed Celeste into a charming house that boasted the same address from the now weathered keep in touch note burning a hole in her pocket. While she was sure that Celeste’s home was as exquisite as the woman herself, Sav could only focus on her former roommate. God, she’d missed her. Her beauty, her sensuality, her intensity, her potency. Being back in her presence was nothing short of intoxicating.
“What brings you to my neck of the woods, Savannah,” Celeste asked after whirling around to face her.
Sav had spent the entire drive up to Portland asking herself that same question. What was so urgent that she couldn’t have picked up the phone and said? Why did she feel like she needed to see Celeste in person? All the answers had evaded her until this very moment. Now that she knew, the answer erupted from her seemingly of its own volition.
“I’m in love with you.”
“I know.”
“Oh,” Sav said, feeling foolish. She’d come all this way only to discover that the only person she’d kept her feelings a secret from was herself. Celeste was, as always, two steps ahead. She hadn’t, however, accounted for her former roommate’s apathy.
“Want to know a secret?”
Sav shrugged, defeat evident in her posture.
“I’m in love with you too,” Celeste confessed, her most bewitching smile lingering on her lips.
Sav fell into Celeste, every part of her whispering confessions. “I need you,” her hands declared, ghosting over Celeste’s generous curves. “I want you,” her lips avowed, peppering her with kisses. “I love you,” her eyes professed as they peeked into the other woman’s soul.
“I missed you so much,” Sav breathed when she finally felt safe enough to put the smallest modicum of space between herself and Celeste.
“I missed you too, my Savannah. I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Is that why you gave me your address?”
“Yes, and it’s good I did because I only accept apologies in writing or in person,” Celeste crooned, looking positively sinister.
“A-apology?” Sav spat out, through the hitch in her breath.
“I specifically told you to keep in touch. Yet, it took you three months to contact me.”
“I didn’t know if you really wanted to hear from me…”
“And that, in and of itself, deserves correction,” Celeste said sharply as she grabbed Sav gently but firmly by the wrist and led her up the stairs.
Sav’s head began to swim. Is this what life would Celeste always be? Constantly being taken off guard and knocked off-kilter? She could barely dare to hope so.
Eventually, the pair arrived upstairs and Sav let herself be pulled into a large room. Claret in color, with a large four-poster bed, it was the very definition of a boudoir. Evocative art accented the space while rich colors and fabrics anchored everything together.
“Tell me your safe word,” Celeste demanded, quickly recapturing Sav’s attention.
“Acrillyic,” Sav obeyed.
“Tell me you belong to me.”
“I’m yours, Celeste.”
After giving Sav a tease of a kiss and guiding her towards the bed, Celeste slowly began unbuttoning the painter’s shirt. Once that was removed, she made quick work of her jeans. But as Celeste reached around to unhook the younger woman’s bra, Sav shot a quick glance to the windows. Sure the sun was nearly set and they were on the second floor without overhead lighting, but there was still a chance that someone could see them if they took the time to look. Part of Sav wanted to cling to her modesty and draw the curtains. The larger part, however, was practically daring someone to watch her and Celeste, if only to witness how beautiful they were together.
Before she could sort out her dueling feelings, Celeste removed her bra and tossed it onto the bed. In the next breath, her panties were off. Instead of casting those aside, however, Celeste chose to pocket them.
A shiver ran through Sav, the sensuality of the moment competing with the winter chill. Against her own volition, she shot another nervous glance at the window.
“Worried about being seen,” Celeste asked, once again reading Sav’s thoughts.
“Yes.”
“Then let’s focus your attention, shall we?”
Celeste reached up, removing the colorful scarf she’d fashioned into a headband. The move forced her breasts into Sav’s face and Sav sighed in delight, relishing the feel of the soft mounds once more. But before she could fully relax into Celeste’s curves, her former roommate tied the scarf around her eyes into a makeshift blindfold.
“Do I have your undivided attention now?”
“Yes, Celeste.”
“Good. You’re mine. If I want to show you off, I will. Understood?
“Yes, Celeste.”
A few pregnant moments passed before Sav felt her wrists pressed together. She concentrated on her breathing as they were bound with what felt like a soft rope. Stripped of her clothing and her sight, Sav felt completely exposed.
“Arms up,” Celeste demanded. Sav quickly complied and felt the cool pressure of the bedpost as her wrists were tied to it.
“Too tight?”
“No.”
“Good. There shouldn’t be chaffing as long you don’t squirm too much. Can you be good for me?”
“Yes, Celeste.”
“That’s my girl,” Celeste purred, running her hands down Sav’s flank and around to grip her pussy. “My gorgeous, wet, obedient girl.”
Sav’s moan of pleasure turned into a hiss as Celeste used her free hand to deliver an explosive smack to her left butt cheek.
“Stay,” Celeste ordered, her hands and body heat disappearing in a flash.
Sav felt grateful that her blindfold covered up her automatic eye-roll. Stay? As if she could go anywhere!
Her other senses heightened, she could hear Celeste putzing around the room. She swore Celeste was slowing down her normal pace just to build suspense and it was working. They’d played around with handcuffs during the retreat, but she’d never been tied up quite like this. Robbed of one of her most acute senses, she could do nothing but surrender to what was to come.
A slight breeze on her left side alerted Sav to Celeste's presence once more. A soft plunk in front of her sounded as an unknown object hit the bed. Then nothing. Nothing but pregnant silence. Straining her ears, Sav tried to locate the other woman in the room, but being in an entirely new space only added to her disorientation.
Suddenly, Sav felt something foreign tickle her upper back. It was soft like fabric, yet it had an undeniable weight to it. It traveled down her body like rivulets of water, skimming her shoulder blades, her spine, her ass, her legs, and even her sensitive achilles along its journey. Sav bathed in the unfamiliar sensation. Her body contorting in pleasure, writhing against the soft pressure.
Instantly, the material was gone. A whistle of air briefly disrupted the silence before she felt a slight burn on her bottom.
“Be still. I promise you, your flogging will hurt even more if I don’t warm you up first.”
Obediently, Sav ceased squirming. So it was a flogger? Clearly, Celeste was hellbent on continuing to introduce her to new implements and sensations. Not that she was complaining. She’d do anything to feel the gentle tickle again.
Up and down, pass after pass, Celeste teased Sav with the flogger. Confined to stillness, she could only embrace the pleasure through her breath. Syncing her inhales and exhales with the gentle caresses put her in a kind of hypnotic trance. The spell was only broken when Celeste removed the flogger and struck her once more.
This time, Celeste wasn’t content with one blow. She struck like lightning in a thunderstorm, with little pause and without hesitation. Before today, Celeste had confined all punishment to Sav’s behind, but today she was indiscriminate. Sav felt the blows on every inch of her back body. The flogger curled around her left shoulder before striking her right quad. It was agony. It was bliss. Unable to keep still, Sav hissed and bucked, but even her body’s uncontrollable undulations couldn’t stop Celeste from hitting her target again and again. Sav couldn’t keep up with the strikes. Time passed, or perhaps it ceased to exist altogether. Eventually, she found the eye of the storm, her body going limp with submission, her mind in that peaceful place that only Celeste could take her to.
Sav was so far gone that she didn’t realize that the blows had paused until Celeste brought the flogger around to her front side. The suede material ghosted over her nipples and she felt the tightness in her breasts as they became even more engorged.
“You’re lucky, Savannah,” Celeste whispered into her ear after biting down on her earlobe. “The next time we play, I won’t be taking it easy on you. Disobey me again, and I’ll flog these gorgeous tits of yours.”
Sav whimpered at the threat, the buzzing in her ears growing louder with each heartbeat. It wasn’t until she felt something foreign brush up against her clit that she realized that the buzzing wasn’t merely in her ears after all.
“Don’t you dare come,” Celeste warned as the buzzing ratcheted up another notch.
Desperate to follow orders, Sav tried arching away from the vibrator, but Celeste was having none of it. Instead, she pressed her own body into Sav’s tender back and anchored the smaller woman between herself and the bed. Tensing to fight off her own pleasure, Sav focused on any and everything that could stave off her orgasm. Wet socks. The Pythagorean theorem. Saltine crackers. Nothing worked. Her pleasure crested, becoming a wild, uncontrollable, thing. Feeling like a trapped animal rearing to break out, she did the only thing she could do.
“Please, Celeste!” Sav begged.
The vibrator pulsed even harder.
“PLEASE! I don’t want to disobey you, but I need to come.”
“You’ll come when I tell you and not a moment before.”
Keening, Sav saw the point of no return just beyond her mind’s eye. Like it or not, punishment be damned, she would go barreling over it any second now.
The vibrator stopped. The beating resumed. The flogger hit her again and again, jarring her body back from the edge of orgasm. But as the blows stacked on top of one another, her ecstasy grew until she, once again, reached that inevitable place. She knew, without a doubt, that she wouldn’t be able to fight it off a second time.
“Come,” Celeste commanded, her decree in perfect tandem with a soft strike that caught Sav right between her legs, grazing her pussy.
Sav shattered. Her soul left her sensitized body. In the distance, she felt the reverberations of her own scream. Her eyes moved in rapid succession in the back of her head. Her orgasm stretched on into dangerously unknown places. Every nerve ending felt lit up. She was just a thing. A thing for Celeste’s pleasure. What a beautiful thing to be.
Eventually, the fire inside her consumed itself. Slowly, she became aware of Celeste planting kisses on her shoulder blades, her shoulders, her neck. With infinitesimal gentleness, Celeste untied her wrists and began massaging them. Supporting Sav with her body once more, Celeste reached up and undid the makeshift blindfold. Sav had barely blinked the world back into existence when Celeste led her to her bed and pulled her down into it. The bed was as luxurious and firm as its owner and Sav led out a contented sigh as she snuggled in closer. In response, Celeste leaned in and kissed the last vestiges of breath from her tired, ravaged, body.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Sleep, my Savannah; you’ve had a long day.”
“What about you?” Sav asked, wanting to give back all the pleasure she’d just received.
“Don’t worry about me; we have all the time in the world. I’m keeping you forever.”
With that comforting thought, Sav’s eyes fluttered shut and she slipped blissfully into dreamland.
