The clock on the wall showed 1:10 am. Sybil lay curled up in her bed. She glanced at the empty bed against the opposite wall. Eva was late. As usual.

Sybil sighed and turned around. She kept reading, as she had for hours already. She yawned. Her eyes grew heavy, but she forced herself to continue. She had to wait for Eva's return, and then listen to her report. Neither of them could sleep before Eva told Sybil all her misdeeds of the evening. As she always did. One more long yawn escaped her lips. She could not fall asleep, not now.

Eva had always been the rebellious one, and Sybil the obedient, at least on the surface. Eva had so many fights with her parents that Sybil felt compelled to assume the role of the good daughter. She didn't dare openly offend them, not wanting to fuel the conflicts. Sybil always believed there was a right way to live, and she would follow it, against all odds.

Eva and she were in their final year in school. Eva spoke endlessly about leaving the house as soon as she had finished school and started some work. Before their eighteenth birthday, the parents had forbidden Eva to go out and attend parties or meet friends. They were strict and feared Eva had no limits. As soon as she was an adult, Eva could no longer be reined in. Several times per week she had left the house in the evening and only returned late at night. Sybil had no desire to come with her; she didn't want to make her parents angry and was content with staying at home. Her time would come someday.

Through the window she heard a car approach and slow to a stop outside the house. 'Ah, there she is. Finally!' Sybil sighed in relief. She slid a bookmark into her book, put it onto the nightstand and stood up while stretching. Two car doors were slammed shut, that was unusual. When Sybil reached the window she could see a police car parked in front of her parents' house. Two officers approached the door. Confused and concerned Sybil left her room and went downstairs.

While still on the stairs on her way down she could hear the doorbell ring. She saw her parents exiting the living room. Sybil came to a halt behind them while her father opened the door. The two policemen with stone-like faces just stood there, looking as if they wanted to be everywhere else but here. Her mother didn't need any confirmation, she already started sobbing uncontrollably in the arms of her father. Sybil also already knew what this all meant, the answer was written on the policemen's faces. And still she needed to hear it to actually believe it.

"What's going on?" she whispered, uneasy.

One policeman addressed them with deep despair on his face: "Mister and Misses Banks, your daughter Evangeline passed away."

And with that, the floor tilted and rose to meet Sybil.

***

Sybil only noticed fragments here and there. Someone pushed food into her mouth. She wasn't hungry. She lay in her bed, not tired at all. At some point, someone shoved her under the shower. She didn't care. She couldn't even force her eyes to focus; everything was a blur. Even time itself. There were voices, but she didn't understand them. How much time might have passed? She didn't know; it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

The first thing she registered was the dark window. It was evening, she noticed that she was in her bed and listening, but no Eva would return. Uncomfortably, she turned around and started to cry into her pillow. She lay still, as if the world had stopped moving. For eighteen years she had been inseparable with her twin sister Eva. They had shared everything. Their personalities and appearances might have been different, but they had a deeply rooted bond. Which now had ceased to exist. The tears started flowing again. From now on, she felt alone in this world. Why bother with anything?

In this surreal time, Sybil slowly slipped back into her usual role. Her eyesight gradually sharpened again, slowly she noticed her surroundings and began following the instructions of her parents, her lifelong routine giving her some stability to hold on to.

At Eva's funeral, all kinds of memories popped up and Sybil collapsed once more. Again, her memory was missing.

She was on full autopilot, and no conversation left marks in her memory. Some time Sybil would have to attend school again - alone - but that was currently still out of the question. She was just barely recovering from the shock. At her parents' request she started counseling, but the sessions were just dull and hurting. Time progressed, but she didn't improve.

***

"Put that on!"

Her mother dropped a modest dress onto Sybil's bed. Usually she wore it on Sundays when they went to church. She hadn't attended church service since Eva's death. And she didn't want to change that now.

"I don't want to go," she weakly objected. This was unlike her, but true.

"You must. You have to do it for Eva."

That immediately caught her attention.

"What do you mean? A church service to remember Eva?"

"No, the trial of Eva's killer."

Only at that point Sybil realized she didn't even know how Eva had died.

****

There was press outside the courtroom. Cameras flashed. Journalists asked them for a statement. Sybil's father just shook his head and surprisingly the press respected his unspoken wish and stepped back. Inside the cramped courtroom, the best seats were reserved for them. The jury was already there. Soon after, the defendant was led in. Wearing an orange jumpsuit, and his hands and feet were in cuffs, connected with a chain. It felt excessive, as Sybil only saw a small, desperate boy. 'So this must be Eva's Nate.' Sybil just saw a young, ordinary face and his short brown hair. He avoided eye contact with anyone. Her mother made some sneers when she saw him and a general murmur erupted. It quickly faded when a door behind the judge's chair opened.

The bailiff announced: "Stand up for the honorable Judge Ellsworth."

Everyone quickly rose. An elderly man in a black robe with thinning white hair and keen eyes appeared. He sat down and told the audience to sit down as well.

The start of the trial was boring for Sybil. The judge read some legal documents, got confirmations from the prosecutor and the defense attorney. Sybil just watched that young man who had killed her sister. He too didn't really notice what was going on. He just sat there with shaking hands. Sybil recognized a kindred spirit who suffered from the same shock. How could that be?

***

Both Sybil and Nate barely followed the action when the prosecutor started his speech, addressing the jury.

"We will present the evidence to convict the defendant, Nathaniel Reynolds, a fellow citizen from Deerfield, for murdering Evangeline Banks in cold blood, to satisfy his perverse and bloodthirsty urges. He strangled her cruelly with his bare hands. He is a menace for society and will kill again if given the chance. Since he confessed his crime during questioning by the police, this will be a clear case. For such a heinous crime there can only be the death penalty."

Nate buried his face in his hands, much to the alarm of his defense attorney, who nudged him, but it was already too late. His immediate reaction just added to the overall impression of the jury. Sybil could easily read the room; the atmosphere was tense.

In the response, the defense attorney could not do much. The evidence was against Nate. His confession was against him. All his lawyer could do was argue that this was no planned murder, but some kind of accident. The jury didn't buy it.

While listening to the attorney, Sybil looked at the sad Nate and a memory bubbled up unexpectedly. Suddenly, it all fell in place and she had a revelation. Sybil now started to listen closely. Her interest was aroused. She realized that the jury was about to make a grave error. And only she could prevent that. She knew enough about trials that it was a bad idea to try to intervene, so she waited patiently until the session was over and everybody left the room. She told her parents that she still needed some time to process what she had heard. Then walking home in the fresh air would help. Her mother thanked her for having come to the trial with them and respected her wish.

When her parents had left, she stood up and approached the defense attorney. The courtroom was almost empty by now. Nate was already back on his way to prison, and his attorney looked hopeless. He just sat in his chair and had an empty stare. Once he saw who approached him, he quickly jumped to his feet.

"Oh, Miss Banks. I am so sorry for your loss. My condolences on the loss of your sister. And I can assure you, Nathaniel is also deeply sorry for all that happened."

He looked sadly into her eyes while Sybil just nodded, which confused the attorney.

"Eh, how can I help you?" he just asked.

"I want to testify in court. Can you arrange that for me?" she asked.

The attorney looked puzzled. "You want to testify, and need my help? May I ask what it is that you want to say?"

And then Sybil told him. What she knew with all the details. The attorney's eyes grew wider and wider as she spoke. His jaw dropped. When Sybil had finished, he needed a few seconds to recover.

"And you want to testify - that? Under oath?" he blurted out.

"Yes. That is my plan," she replied simply.

And for the first time today, some glimmer of hope appeared in the attorney's eyes.

"I'll draft the request for you to testify right away. You'll be on the witness stand as early as tomorrow."

"Thanks," she replied.

"Oh no, Nathaniel and I have to thank you. See you tomorrow, Miss Banks!"

Sybil just nodded and left the courtroom. It was time to walk home. She had a plan that required all her courage, so she needed to be well-rested for tomorrow.

***

The next day started similarly, but with less friction. Sybil was readily dressed and marched with her parents back to the courtroom. They found their places and the trial started on time. Without much ado, the judge made a statement.

"I have here a request from the defense attorney, Mr. Hayes, to ask Miss Sybil Banks to testify."

That sent a wave through the courtroom, which was quickly squashed by the judge.

"Silence! Miss Banks, if you really want to testify, then please come forward to the witness stand."

Her parents stared at her in disbelief, but unfazed she stood up and sat down on the proverbial hot chair, where she got addressed by the judge.

"Miss Banks, you know that as a family member, you are not required to testify."

"I know that, Your Honor, but I want to testify."

"In that case, you will be put under oath just as any other witness. There will be no special treatment for you. You will have to answer all questions by the defense and the prosecution truthfully."

"Of course, Your Honor."

Surprised by the events, the judge ordered the bailiff to put her under oath and looked at the defense desk. He motioned for the lawyer to come over. "Your witness, counselor."

Sybil gave him a little smile when she saw how nervous he was. Probably, he still didn't want to believe his luck. He started slowly.

"Miss Banks, Evangeline and you were twins?"

"Fraternal twins, sir."

"How close have you been with your sister, Evangeline?"

"Very close, sir."

"Did she confide in you about a lot of things?"

"We shared everything. We had no secrets."

"Also intimate affairs?"

"Yes."

"What did she tell you about Nathaniel Reynolds?"

"She told me that she had a boyfriend. She called him Nate. She was deeply happy with him. She said they both had fallen in love."

"What did she tell you about the sex they had?"

Sybil blushed at the question, but wasn't surprised. She had prepared herself for it.

"They were both pretty inexperienced, but they quickly learned. She trusted him a lot. She told me he was so kind, funny, and patient. Everything she could wish for."

"Was she ever afraid of him? Did she ever tell you about practices he wanted that scared her?"

"No. It was Eva who initially suggested having sex. And Nate never pushed her or did anything that scared her."

"Was there anything she didn't like about him?"

"She complained that he was quite reluctant. He didn't want to hurt her and was very careful. Too careful for her taste, as Eva sometimes wanted more action."

"What was the wildest thing she ever told you, in regards to sex?"

Sybil quickly glanced at her parents, whose disbelief was palpable, then she quickly looked back to Mr. Hayes, then to her feet. After a deep breath, she began:

"One night Eva told me about an incident. The bed was in chaos, and during sex a bedsheet had wrapped itself around her neck. It constricted her; she could barely breathe. She noticed Nate was close to an orgasm with his eyes closed, so he couldn't see her situation, and she kept still. Then she realized that the restricted breathing increased the intensity for her and she ... she ... said that she had the best orgasm ever. She was thrilled."

"And how did Nathaniel react to this?"

"When Nate saw her, he was shocked and apologized for not having noticed that. He promised to be more careful, but Eva said to him that was not his fault and she could have signaled him if she had been in real distress. Actually, she liked the feeling of the heightened sensitivity. From that point on, Eva wanted to have that feeling more often, but Nate objected. For him, it was too similar to domestic violence, so he didn't want to choke Eva. It took Eva a lot of persuasion. It was she who pressured Nate to lightly choke her during sex. Reluctantly, he agreed, but according to Eva, he just barely pressed hard enough and always watched very closely that she didn't faint."

"So the initiative was from Evangeline, and Nathaniel only did what she demanded from him?"

"Yes. He wasn't keen on choking her."

"No more questions, Your Honor."

One juror leaned back, frowning. Another scribbled busily notes. Their clear conviction was seriously shaken. Now she just had to survive the onslaught by the prosecution. Mr. Hayes left her and the prosecutor came closer with a sneer.

"That was a beautiful tale you just told us, Miss Banks."

"Objection!" shouted Mr. Hayes.

"Sustained. Prosecutor Muller, do not influence the witness and stick to asking questions."

"Excuse me, Your Honor." With that, he turned back to Sybil, and the sneer returned. "Miss Banks, do you have feelings for Nathaniel Reynolds?"

"No, sir."

"Then why did you keep looking at him during the whole trial?"

"I was curious what my sister's boyfriend looked like. I only knew him from what Eva told me."

That was just the opening. Sybil got question after question. She had to retell what Eva had told her several times, with the prosecutor trying to get her into some contradiction or cast doubt on her credibility. It didn't work. Sybil knew she had to remain focused and calm, and she did. Finally, prosecutor Muller gave up on her and addressed the jury.

"I stay with my assessment that the defendant's entire case rests on secondhand pillow talk. The shock of losing her sister made Miss Banks mentally unstable. The defense is asking this jury to believe an account that has no precedent in our experience and no corroboration beyond the testimony of a grieving sister. We all know the obvious truth of this case."

"Objection!" shouted Mr. Hayes.

"Sustained," answered the judge. "She testified under oath and does appear to be of sound mind."

"Then we need a second opinion to evaluate her statements. I demand that an expert be consulted in this case."

The judge had a short pause and then replied, "I adjourn the hearing and will involve a qualified expert."

Sybil's heart sank. They didn't believe her! And who knows what some expert would tell. It didn't go as planned, and Mr. Hayes looked less confident than just minutes before.

***

The next days were difficult. Her parents stopped speaking to her; they felt betrayed and didn't understand how Sybil could have shared such highly inappropriate details openly with the world. In their eyes, their daughter Evangeline had been made out to be a slut, and now the whole country knew that. The cold shoulder from her parents was unfortunate, but Sybil only cared for what the expert would say. Anxiously, she braced for what was to come on her way back to the courtroom.

There, a middle-aged, friendly man with short blonde hair and glasses entered the witness stand. He wore some tweed, which identified him as an academic. He looked peaceful and confident. The bailiff put him under oath and the judge started the cross-examination. Mr. Hayes began.

"Professor Haugen, you are an established expert on sexual deviations?"

"That is my field of study."

"Have you read the court protocols and could you come to a conclusion about the credibility of Miss Banks' testimony?"

"Yes, Mr. Hayes, I have."

"And what is your verdict?"

"I find her account plausible."

Sybil took a deep breath. Finally, someone believed her.

The prosecutor objected immediately.

"How can this be? There are no known cases of women who want to be strangled, but many women getting strangled against their will."

The professor objected. "That is not quite true. While it is correct that there are unfortunately sick men who kill women by strangling, the scientific literature knows of women who use light asphyxiation to have heightened sensitivity during intercourse."

"Mr. Reynolds is a brutal killer!" the prosecutor interjected.

Again, the professor wouldn't have it. "The evidence does not support that conclusion. I have read the autopsy of Evangeline Banks. Her neck didn't show any bruises; her trachea wasn't crushed. This was not driven by emotion and not the work of a perpetrator. A sexual pervert would not have been able to hold back and would have definitely caused bruises on the neck."

Now Mr. Hayes seized the opportunity. "So this was an unlucky accident?"

"In my opinion, yes. In some cases, asphyxiation can stop the heart, even in a young and healthy person. In that case, only an emergency medic can save that unlucky person. Miss Banks and Mister Reynolds could not have known that risk. Such things are not presented on television or talked about on the radio. I have read of documented cases very similar to what happened to Miss Banks. Actually, it is quite tragic because these women can develop an addiction to the sensation and crave ever more intense choking, which then leads to their untimely deaths. From what Miss Sybil Banks testified, it appeared Evangeline Banks showed every sign of being such a case."

The prosecutor again tried his best, but Sybil's testimony was now firm. Nate had admitted that he had killed Eva, but it was an accident. And now the jury believed him.

The prosecutor called more witnesses; the trial took two more days, but nothing significant happened. Then the jury retreated. After a short deliberation, the verdict was announced: a conviction for manslaughter in a less serious case. 12 months of jail time with the possibility of parole after 4 months. The prosecutor was fuming, but powerless.

Sybil's parents left without a word and she just kept sitting. Nate showed a timid smile in her direction and she nodded back at him. Then he was brought away. Mr. Hayes again thanked her profusely. They both knew she had saved a life, and Sybil smiled broadly. Everyone left the courtroom, but she kept sitting and could only think of Professor Haugen's words.

There were other women like Eva, and they were heading to a similar fate! So far Sybil hadn't decided what to do after school, but now she knew what her purpose was. And who could help her realize it.

***

After the trial, Sybil couldn't go home immediately. She had to tell Eva the news. She made a detour to the cemetery. It was the first time she dared to return there after her sister's funeral. She went with deliberate and careful steps, as if not to disturb the dead. A grey tombstone like the many others stood in a row on the large lawn.

It read: 'Evangeline Banks, born 03/05/1971, died 08/19/1989'

Sybil knelt down and this time she said goodbye properly.

"Farewell, my dear sister. I swear by your grave that nothing will stop me from saving others like you."

Her body shook, but no tears appeared, and she calmed herself again. The deal was sealed.

"And I know exactly where to start."

Sybil rose and left the cemetery with a confident, determined stride.

***

A knock on the door startled Professor Haugen. He sat in his chair behind the desk, which was cluttered with books, notebooks, papers and all the usual stuff which automatically accumulates in a faculty office. He braced himself for what was to come and took a deep breath, then focused on the door.

"Come in!"

It opened and an older Sybil entered his office. She approached the empty chair opposite his desk.

"Please sit down," he quickly added, while Sybil was already in the process.

He looked her in the eyes and grimaced slightly.

"Today is the day, Professor," she reminded him.

"I know, Sybil. I know," he replied weakly. "Did you rethink my offer? You could do that Ph.D. and help so many people in the process. Nobody is more qualified than you for that task."

"You know my stance on this."

"Yes, and I expected that answer," he gave back while lowering his head. "You do know that you have developed an obsession?"

"Yes, of course."

"That obsession is not necessarily something bad, as long as you channel that energy into something good. With your dedication and energy you are destined to write a dissertation on that topic."

"You know that I have no time for a dissertation. Time is of the essence."

Professor Haugen involuntarily shook his head. "You are stubborn."

"I have no choice. And I have to insist you fulfill your part of the deal."

"You were the best student I had in a long time. Not like these smug, intelligent know-it-alls who think they've nothing left to learn. I deeply regret losing you."

"I don't care. As you demanded, I finished my M.S. in Psychology, that is all that counts. Now tell me what I need to know."

"Yes, as promised, I will, but you won't like it."

"It doesn't matter. I need to hear it: How do I break the vicious circle?"

Professor Haugen rolled his eyes. "In a nutshell, the answer is: You do not. I am sorry to say there is no way."

Sybil looked disappointed and surprised. "That’s not quite what you led me to believe at the start of my studies! Give me the long version."

"The long version is that there is a way, but it has a catch-22. You succeed in the operation, but the patients have no real gain, as they necessarily die in the process."

"I am no freshman anymore. I can draw my own conclusions; give me the full story."

Professor Haugen looked at Sybil desperately, but her glance was unrelenting. He had no choice but to do as she demanded.

"I was speaking of a hypothetical way, not something feasible in real life. The required procedure is highly immoral and fatal."

"Specify it!" she commanded.

"Ugh... It requires a mixture of efforts. First, the brain needs to be turned malleable. Not just a little, but overall. The logical prefrontal lobe has to lose all control; the thinking turns into mush. This means putting the person under sustained massive stress, to the point of actual torture. You see that cannot be done in reality."

"The next step."

"You don't listen," he said desperately.

"I hear you very well. Continue," she replied coldly.

"Oh well... Once the brain is malleable, it needs to get the maximum impulse of the underlying desire - oxygen deprivation until the very end. In agony, the brain releases the full mix: endorphins, serotonin, glutamate, norepinephrine and the big hitter - DMT. A potent mix which could induce powerful hallucinations, if the brain was still receptive. It breaks the vicious circle by overload and the addiction vanishes. Unfortunately, by then, the brain is already dying and shutting down for good. The result is that the addiction is gone, and so is the patient."

Sybil thought about this a little. Professor Haugen's eyes brightened at this pause.

"You see? You won't succeed. First, as a preparation, you would make the patients suffer immensely, and then you would kill them. It is a theoretical solution only."

Sybil raised her unyielding gaze to the professor.

"Thank you for this explanation. Now I see more clearly."

"Sorry that I couldn't give you what you wanted."

"It's fine, Professor Haugen. You gave me everything I needed to know."

Agitated, the professor raised his voice: "You cannot seriously think ..."

"Professor, I have sworn a solemn oath. I will help these poor women. If that means I have to kill some people, so be it."

With that, she rose from the chair, went to the exit and closed the door.

Professor Haugen watched her leave, resigned to his fate. His face had turned grey.

"Mercy on our souls," he whispered. "I created a monster."