Nearly three weeks later…

Schedules and life kept me from hanging out over at Travis’ place.  He did let me know when I bumped into him on campus that he scored a couple more DVDs.  I couldn’t wait to see what new people and scenes there would be.  Three weeks of waiting and still a few more hours even after class to make sure his parents wouldn’t come knocking on the door.  I still hadn’t decided if I was going to tell him about my newly discovered superpower.

Had it really been only three weeks?  It felt like a lifetime since that night on the couch. I still hadn’t quite decided on my own perspective of it yet.  On one hand, I felt a little weird that I had sucked my own dick.  On the other hand, I had jerked off more times than I could count by now.  Was that really any different than sucking my own dick?  At some point, I decided “fuck it” because it felt amazing, and if something feels that good, then it can’t be bad, right?

I say at some point I decided this because for the first few days afterwards, I stuck to just beating off and using a towel or something else convenient for the jizz.  But by midweek, my mind kept drifting back to the scene where the blonde was giving her guy a blowjob.  It was so hot, and the way she used her lips and hand to stroke his cock made me incredibly hard. When she coyly smiled at him and then turned toward the camera so she could show it in her mouth, it was intense. Don’t get me wrong. A girl asking a guy to shoot his load on her face or across her back was so satisfying, especially when timed with your own climax, but nothing compared to knowing she just swallowed it.

I think the first thing that really started me back down the path was the absolute convenience of the cleanup process.  That night didn’t require any tissue, towel, or sock.  It didn’t necessitate hiding the embarrassing evidence from anyone.  It was without a doubt the easiest ‘mess’ I started looking forward to cleaning up.  The last couple of nights, I had quietly grabbed tissues for my nightly jerking off sessions and then stuffed them deep into the trashcan before anyone else was up and then heading off to my college classes.  This night would be different. 

I started off getting out of my boxers and then thinking about that blonde.  I thought about how hard her partner got when she started massaging him.  In parallel to this, I started massaging myself. As I got harder, I started thinking about her lips around his member.  I sat up and leaned forward and felt my lips part as I pushed mine into my mouth.  That strange thought popped back into my mind; I’m sucking a dick.  Not ‘I’m getting a blowjob.’

I used one hand to massage my balls while my lips moved slowly up and down my dick.  Her guy ran his fingers through her hair and played with her nipples.  As soon as I touched my nipple, I literally felt my dick swell even more than I thought possible. It felt amazing. Every sensation.  I loved everything about this. I could taste the slightly salty precum.  I could feel the head of my penis and the tightness of the skin around the shaft. Lightly pinching my own nipples. Soon, I could feel that tingly sensation that meant I was getting close.  Once again, I didn’t pause or even slow as I felt it building.  Then suddenly I could feel my jizz pulsing through my cock and exploding into my mouth. I heard myself let out a low, audible moan as I enjoyed feeling it run down my throat. Fuck this feels amazing.

For the next few weeks, I went back and forth between swallowing or shooting my load onto my chest.  I never used anything else for cleanup again.  I still debated with myself about how I felt and came back to two things each time.  The first was the thought of sucking a dick, even if it was mine.  I jerked off, and that’s my dick as well.  But when it came time to act, it was always the same thought; it’s ‘sucking,’ not getting a blowjob.

The second thing was the swallowing part.  Once again, it’s my jizz.  So what, right?  Well, not so fast there.  If there was one thing that separated a guy from a girl, it was who swallowed the jizz.  All guys play with themselves.  We all masturbate.  How many of us could suck our own dick?  No idea there.  So, back to swallowing, and what does it mean?  I grew up when gay and lesbian stuff was out there and slowly becoming more mainstream.  Bisexuality?  Never heard of it.  Locker room talk always broke things down simply.  There were us guys, girls, or girlfriends, and the gay things.  A minor exception could be made for those of us who had sisters.  We might call each other gay at times, but none of us knew someone who was actually gay. 

So where did I fit in?  I think this is the point where I decided “fuck it” and I’d just keep it a secret.  I mean, everyone was still at the stage in life where we used our towels in the locker room till the last possible second to hide our dignity and avoid embarrassment.  That’s the life of a college freshman; avoid embarrassment and the senior classmen at all costs lest you be given a nickname and run out of the locker room to never play college football again. Letting anyone know my extra step in masturbation would most definitely cause my demise from embarrassment, not to mention depriving the team of my modest talents as an up-and-coming player.

Free of my final class, I headed to Travis’s place.  When I arrived, I said hello to his parents on my way to Mecca.  As I was walking up to the trailer, I noted several voices of the usual crowd that would be there from time to time.  Ryan and Grant must have come over directly from classes based on the books and notebooks lying around.

“Hey, Eddie,” Ryan said.

“Sup, dude,” Grant quickly followed with.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

Travis looked up and replied, “Trading test answers for some beers.  Want one?”

“Hell yes!  What are we having tonight?” came out before I could even think.  Alcohol wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to come by for us, but I knew Ryan’s older brother was always hooking him up. I needed to bug my older sister again to get more, now that I thought about it.

“12 pack of the finest Coors and a small bottle of Jim Beam,” Grant quickly threw back in reply.

A couple of hours later, Ryan and Grant left.  Travis and I settled in to eat some pizza and watch a movie.  As the time inched closer to eleven, I could tell the mood was shifting.  His parents should have been in bed for some time now and definitely wouldn’t be making the trek out to the trailer from the house.  Neither of us seemed to be paying attention to the movie.  As Travis turned on the couch, I could see his shorts tented up.

“Think we could check out one of those new DVDs?” I asked.

Travis jumped up from the couch and moved over to the small window facing the house.  He stared intently for a couple of seconds before turning back.  “Yeah, we’re good, I think.”

Moving back from the window, he made his way back to the couch and slid a hand under, searching.  After a few seconds, he sat up with a handful of DVDs and a big grin.

“Wow, how many do you have?” I exclaimed!

“Four new ones! I went to the gas station and waited till no one else was in the store.  I grabbed these and went to the cashier.  I really thought he was going to say something or ask for my ID or something.  But he just took my money and said have a good night.”  The redness on Travis’ face told me that, despite all his bravado, he was still super embarrassed.

“Which one?” I asked.

Looking at all five, we quickly discarded the original one.  After that, we both looked at the four remaining ones.  Finally, we both gravitated toward the cover of two girls who looked like they might have been about to make out.

The first scene started off with two girls who seemed to be roommates for the purpose of the story.  The boyfriend of one arrives and tells a story about how the double date isn’t happening.  From there, the scene moves on to him and one of the girls making out on the couch.  After a few minutes, they invited the roommate into the make-out session under the guise that they felt bad she was alone. Lord, these stories were terrible.  But we weren’t watching these for the storyline.

“I need to bust,” Travis said suddenly.

“I’m not stopping you,” I quipped back.

He laughed and ran to the bedroom.  Within seconds, he was back with some tissues.  Settling back down on the couch, I stared at Travis.  “Are you going to do it right here!”

“Yep, I want to cum the same time he does,” Travis said, referring to the TV.  With that, he slid his boxers down and sat there in just his socks and t-shirt. “I’m not missing this, and I’m not watching it and then running to the bedroom.  Sorry, not sorry.”

With that settled, we went back to the movie.  By this time, the scene had progressed to the guy lying on his back with the girls facing each other, one riding his hard cock and the other on his face, with him working his tongue over her clit.  I was completely entranced by this.  It was the first scene I’d watched with more than two people.  I was incredibly turned on.

With a little thought of Travis sitting just a couple of feet away from me, I slipped my shorts off as well.  It barely registered that I was sitting naked next to Travis, both of us slowly stroking our cocks.  I guess the desire to nut finally overrode modesty. 

Suddenly, Travis broke the silence between us. “Fuuughhh,” he moaned as he shot several loads awkwardly into the tissues.  Twisting to turn his back the way he did, we both knew it broke the thoughts of a girl doing the things that would make a guy nut.  Relaxing, he looked over at me, “Hey, get some tissues or something before you make a mess!”

Without looking away from the TV, where both girls were now on either side of the guy.  They each ran a hand over his chest while one stroked his cock, and the other massaged his balls.  His solidly hard cock was going from one mouth to the other.  I said, “I don’t need anything.” As the guy started to groan, I bent down and stuck my cock in my mouth.  As the guy started shooting loads of cum into each of the girls’ mouths, across their faces, and in their hair, I shot my own jizz into my mouth. 

As I started to cum, my eyes closed.  Several audible moans escaped.  I moaned in ecstasy.  My imagination for the last couple of weeks was one thing, watching it on the screen, and then experiencing it was another level.  As I came down from this sexual height, my eyes slowly opened back up.  That’s when I remembered.  My eyes slowly slid over to the right.  And right there was Travis.  He sat there looking back at me with my own dick in my mouth.  His eyes were wide as he struggled with what he had just watched.

“How… how did you just do that?’  Travis’s eyes moved from me to his own still-hard cock.  As my dick slipped from my lips, he bent over and moved his face as close to his own cock as possible, finding himself an insurmountable distance between it and his outstretched tongue.

“I just sort of did it, I guess,” I replied.

“And you swallowed your own jizz?” he asked.

"Yeah… It's not really any different than jerking off,” I said defensively, wondering what he was going to say.

“Yeah, but… I mean, it’s still… I don’t know,” he stammered.  “Do you still like girls?”

“Yeah, I can’t wait to feel a pussy!  Boobs are amazing.  I can’t wait to fuck a girl!” I told him.  I waited…

“Well, you can’t be gay if you like girls.  I just wish I could do that,” Travis said sheepishly.  “What’s it like getting a blowjob?” he asked.

For the next hour, we watched a little more of the DVD while I explained how I felt about sucking my own cock.  I told him I couldn’t really describe it as getting a bj.  We finally tired and decided to call it a night.  Over the next couple of months, it didn’t really come up again.  When we’d jerk off to the DVDs, Travis would watch anytime I sucked myself.  To me, whenever I caught him looking, it made me a little harder.  When we were hanging out with other friends, it secretly turned me on knowing that while the guys laughed and joked about their questionable exploits, I was actually experiencing something real.