My wife, Clara, has a Christmas problem. She starts playing Christmas music before Halloween and she makes me put up our tree on the first day of November. By the time December rolls around, Clara exudes this weird cheerful demeanor that borders on neurotic. If you think I’m exaggerating, consider the fact that she owns fourteen different Christmas sweaters.
Even worse, her entire family is just as obsessed with Santa, reindeer, and elves. Last Christmas, we traveled to her brother’s house in Tennesee to celebrate, which is where this story truly starts.
First, a little background. Clara and I have been married for seven years. We used to have a healthy sexual relationship but things have cooled off over the last few years. I hate to admit this but the reason why our sex went south is because of Clara’s Christmas addiction. She even started wearing those damn Christmas sweaters to bed every night, and they are the opposite of sexy.
Clara even wanted me to start role-playing as Santa. Her fantasy was to sneak into our living room while I was eating milk and cookies where she would seduce me and go for a ride on my candy cane. It probably would have been fine but when Clara walked out of the bedroom, she was dressed as an elf in full costume. She even wore pointy ears. I started laughing, which apparently ruined the mood. I guess Santa doesn’t joke around when it comes to fucking his elves.
Anyway, we arrived at Clara’s brother’s house a few days before Christmas. The entire scene was my worst nightmare. Kids were running around in every direction screaming at the top of their lungs. Clara’s brother, Al, was already drunk on malt liquor. I swear to Saint Nick, that every single person in Clara’s family was wearing one of those goddamned Christmas sweaters.
All except for me and one other person. That other person is Al’s wife, Natalie. If it weren’t for Natalie, my wife’s family would be easy to mistake for a Norman Rockwell Christmas painting. When we walked in the front door, she stood like a sentinel of sanity amidst the psychotic sea of Santa disciples scurrying about the living room.
Natalie is the only person in the entire family with black hair. She’s also 5’10” tall, which also makes her the tallest person in the family except for me. For a second, it almost seemed like Natalie and I were standing in Santa’s workshop, surrounded by elves. If Santa really does fuck his elves, my brother-in-law’s house would have been one massive Yuletide orgy fuck-fest.
I hugged my way through parents, grandparents, cousins, nephews, and nieces until I finally made my way to Natalie. I’m only a couple of inches taller than she is, but Natalie was wearing heels that made her taller than me. The heels were black, and so was Natalie’s dress, which clung to every curve on her luscious body.
As we hugged she whispered in my ear, “Thank baby Jesus you’re here.”
At first glance, nobody understands why Al and Natalie are married. Al is your typical pickup-truck-driving overweight southern redneck and Natalie is a physically fit statuesque beauty that teaches yoga. The long and short of it is that they were high school sweethearts. Al knocked Natalie up in their senior year and the rest is history.
Now their kid is seventeen and Natalie and Al are both thirty-four, the same age as me. While most of my wife’s family think Natalie is the oddball, in truth their entire family is mentally deranged.
Natalie and I have always gotten along during Christmas because she hates it as much as I do. In years past, we’ve snuck away to drink beers, smoke some weed, or just enjoy another normal human being who isn’t possessed by the Christmas demon.
This trip was no different. Not an hour had gone by when I saw Natalie motion for me to come to the kitchen. I excused myself and met her by the back door where we slipped out unnoticed.
My brother-in-law’s backyard is essentially the woods, so Natalie and I took a short walk and smoked a joint. We were only gone about twenty minutes but it was enough time to catch up a bit. Right before we walked back into the house, Natalie said, “In one more year Ruby (her daughter) is going to be eighteen. I’m planning on filing for a divorce.”
It was quite a lot to lay on me right before rejoining the circus but I can’t say it came as a surprise. It was something I’d heard Clara and her mother speculate about on more than one occasion.
Eight long hours later, everyone was finally in bed. Al and Natalie have a nice house but one of its best features is the basement, which is decked out with a huge couch, giant television, and a beer fridge. It’s also entirely sound-proof.
I didn’t want to risk waking anyone up, so I crept down into the basement, cracked open a beer, and turned on the TV. A half-hour later, I was watching porno on my phone. I was doing searches for tall brunettes and started fantasizing about Natalie. It was a fantasy I’ve enjoyed more than once. Then I pulled out my cock and rubbed one out.
The following morning, I was pouring myself a cup of coffee when Natalie walked in. She was wearing a silk robe that covered everything but was somehow still sexy as hell.
“Good morning, Nick,” Natalie said. “How was your evening?”
“Great!” I answered. “I watched a little TV down in the basement and enjoyed time away from all of this wonderful holiday cheer.”
Natalie smirked and said, “You know, I had the same idea last night but when I walked down the stairs, I noticed you were already there.”
Surprised, I said, “I didn’t even notice…”
Natalie interrupted, “You were busy.”
I was at a loss for words and felt a wave of embarrassment that undoubtedly made me blush redder than Rudolph’s nose. Then Natalie added, “Don’t worry, Nick. I only watched until you came.”
Then Natalie turned and walked right out of the kitchen.
My embarrassment almost immediately changed into desire but with Santa’s minions all over the house, it seemed highly unlikely anything was going to happen with Natalie. Plus, I’d never cheated on my wife.
A few minutes later Clara walked into the kitchen wearing her ugliest Christmas sweater and those fucking elf ears and I started to wonder why I hadn’t ever cheated on her. A holly jolly romp under the mistletoe with Natalie was sounding like the Christmas cheer I needed but all I could do was shake my head and walk out of the kitchen. As I left, Clara said, “Nick, you are such a grouch. When are you going to find some Christmas cheer?”
It was the day before Christmas Eve. Natalie was at work all day, so I was stuck in the house with drunk Al and all the family rugrats. That night, I was laying in bed next to Clara, who was snoring louder than the Polar Express, when I got a text message from Natalie.
“I owe you one. Come to the basement and watch a show.”
Was Natalie inviting me to watch the Charlie Brown Christmas Special or was she inviting me to watch something a bit more personal? Fairly confident it was the latter, I slipped out of bed and made my way to the basement. Careful to close the door behind me, I walked down the stairs until I could see Natalie on the couch.
She was laying back against the armrest of the couch, wearing only a button-down blouse. Natalie’s legs were spread and she was using both hands to get herself off. I remained motionless as she fucked herself with two fingers while furiously rubbing her clit. Her head was tilted backward, eyes closed, and she let out these soft moans that were making me go wild.
When she lifted up her blouse and her perfect titties spilled out, it was all I could take. I pulled Santa’s little helper out of my pants and put him to work. Matching Natalie’s pace, I stroked my raging hard cock until it was obvious we were both about to cum.
Right at that moment, Natalie opened her eyes and turned to head to face me. Our eyes met and we exploded simultaneously. I shot my load halfway across the room while Natalie’s legs vibrated and she growled one long, “Fuuuck!” Our eyes remained locked.
Then she winked at me and smirked. I gave her a knowing look and made my way back up the stairs to the guest room. I was still so fucking horny that I jerked off in bed next to Clara, fantasizing about her sexy sister-in-law the entire time.
The next day was Christmas Eve. I never once saw Natalie until we almost ran into each other walking into the dining room for Christmas dinner.
The entire family was already at the table adorned in their formal Christmas attire, which was nothing more than their most obnoxious Christmas sweaters. My wife and her brother were also wearing plush reindeer antlers.
