I was stunned when my wife asked me for a divorce. It's not like I hadn't cheated on her before. Every time she caught me, I would apologize and promise to never do it again. Then, she would forgive me, and everything would be fine until the next time she caught me. Why divorce now? I cheat; she forgives. I mean, how is that not a perfect marriage?

I will admit, sleeping with her sister made this time different. It's not like she caught me in the act. During an intimate moment, I called her by her sister's name. Hey, like I told my wife, it was an easy mistake. Their names are so similar. As far as I'm concerned, the only difference is the spelling, the number of syllables, and the pronunciations.

Unfortunately, my wife didn't buy it. Eventually, I had to admit it. I did try to butter her up by telling her that calling her by her sister's name just shows how great she is in bed. After all, her sister was dynamite. Now, you would think she would be pleased to hear that, but no. Instead, she got even angrier. Seriously, she needs to take compliments better. At least I didn't call her by her mother's name. That woman was dead in bed.

Seriously, I thought she stopped breathing right in the middle of it. Talk about almost being a mood killer! Hey, have you ever tried to check a woman's pulse in the middle of having sex with her? I imagine it would be pretty difficult. Don't get me wrong; I checked for one after... I smoked a couple of cigarettes, drank a couple of beers, and watched my favorite game show I recorded earlier... twice.

The point is, I eventually checked. So, you can't say my heart wasn't in the right place. I will admit I should have called 9-1-1 when I couldn't feel one. No, she wasn't dead. It just turns out that sticking your finger in a woman's a-hole is not actually the correct way to check for a pulse. It's almost enough to make me believe there are no real doctors in porn.

Anyway, that experience left such a bad taste in my mouth that I'm seriously considering never having sex with anyone who even looks close to death. I wonder if my wife would change her mind about the divorce if I told her that. Then again, probably not. Women can be so hard to please. What was I to do? I honestly didn't know.

So, I asked my wife what it would take for her to take me back. After all, I am a man and men need sex. What am I supposed to do when she's at work? Get a job? Let's get real here. I'm man enough to admit I'm not completely blameless. But when she tells me she better not catch me cheating again, then she needs to stop coming home early from work without calling first. That's on her! It's like she's trying to catch me! How is that my fault, exactly?

My wife looked me in the eyes and said, "I'll make a compromise with you. I've accepted that you are not a one-woman man. I can accept that you will cheat on me again. I just need you to promise that you will not sleep with any of my relatives... ever."

When she finished, I couldn't help but wonder, where was the compromise? My wife just stared angrily at me. That's when I remembered this terrible habit I have of saying, out loud, what I'm thinking.

"Ever, like in never?" I asked.

After nodding her head, she said, "I mean it. No relatives. If you can promise me this, and keep it, we'll stay married. Agreed?"

Of course, I had to. What else could I do? If I wanted to save my marriage, I needed to make a sacrifice. I looked her in the eyes and said, "Sheryl, I promise, from now on, relatives are off limits." And I meant it too. And I'm proud to say I kept that promise... for almost the whole rest of the week. And mind you, we had that conversation on a Tuesday.

So, it was the next day, while my wife was at work, when the doorbell rang. I opened the door, expecting to see a door-to-door salesman. I couldn't have been more wrong. Instead, I saw two gorgeous women, wearing very little clothing: just the tiniest white t-shirts and extra, and I mean extra, small denim shorts. At first, I was so focused on their fit bodies that I didn't realize their faces were identical. Twins!

I couldn't believe my eyes. I tried to say something, but couldn't find my voice. Who were they? Why were they here? I got my answers when one of them spoke.

"I'm Connie, and this is Cheryl"

"Sheryl?" I asked. "That's my wife's name."

"We know," Cheryl responded. "Only my name and hers are spelled differently. I guess, being cousins, our parents thought it would be best to prevent later confusion."

"Cousins?" I asked, with both acknowledging me by nodding their heads.

This was news to me. I didn't even know she had cousins who were twins. Why was I just now finding this out? On one hand... wow! On the other hand, why did she keep this from me? More importantly, why, oh why, did I make that promise to my wife when I did? The timing couldn't have been worse. I mean, what are the odds? I promise not to sleep with any of her relatives, and just like that, out of the blue, her cousins show up at my...

That's when it hit me. My wife was testing me. She sent them to trick me into cheating on her. There was so much going on in my mind that I actually forgot about the twins standing in front of me.

"So, can we see Sheryl?" I heard one of the twins ask.

"Sheryl's not here. She's at work."

The twins looked at each other as if they were confused about something. Connie asked Cheryl, "Today is Thursday... isn't it?"

"I think so," Cheryl answered before they both turned to look at me for confirmation.

"Sorry, ladies. It's Wednesday. What did you want to see Sheryl about?"

Connie answered, "We were going to spend some time at Sunset Lake. She was going to drive us."

Cheryl added, "Not a cloud in the sky, too. Today would have been perfect. Too bad our car stopped working. If only we had a way to get there."

There was no doubt in mind now. This was a trap. Her cousins show up out of nowhere and just happen to need a ride to, of all places, Sunset Lake.

Sunset Lake was where Sheryl and I met and fell in love. She was there with her family. I was there with my girlfriend. From the first moment I saw her, I knew she was the one... until I saw Sheryl. Then Sheryl was the one. There was just something different about her. For the first time, I wasn't looking at a woman for the purpose of sex. I can't even be certain the fact that my girlfriend and I had sex ten times earlier that day had anything to do with that.

I ditched my girlfriend. It wasn't that hard. I saw a ditch and pushed her into it. Boy, was she mad. Of course, she broke up with me, which was my way of breaking up with her. Once I was free, it was time to get to know Sheryl better.

We spent the afternoon walking and talking along the shore until we found a secluded spot next to a rather large log that extended into the dense vegetation surrounding the lake. It was there, for the first time, that I made love to a woman. Not sex, mind you. It was love. From that point on, that area by the lake was our special place. A place that only belonged to the two of us. It was so special to me that I only cheated on her with three women there. That's how special it was.

And now, my wife was going to use our special place against me. She was probably hiding there now, waiting for us to show up so she can catch me in the act. Well, if that's what she thinks, she has another thing coming. I was determined to prove that I was up to the challenge.

"Cheer up, ladies!" I shouted to the twins. "I'll drive you to the lake!"

"Woo Hoo!" they shouted together as I got my keys. Then, we got in the car and off we went for the two-hour drive to Sunset Lake. I'm not going to lie. It was hard to focus. The twin in the front seat kept turning to talk to her sister in the back. When she did, she spread her legs enough that I could see up the leg opening. It was clear she was wearing nothing under her shorts. If that wasn't bad enough, the twins switched seats in the middle of the drive. When the one in the back climbed over the seat, the one in the front had to give her room and backed towards me with her backside inches from my head. What did I get myself into?

Finally, we made it to Sunset Lake. The only thing harder than driving to it was getting out of the car. I didn't think that stiffy was ever going to soften. The twins were already out and running along the shore. They both turned to me and motioned for me to come with them. We walked along the shore until we reached that familiar log that marked that special place. I stopped and looked around, trying to see if I could tell where Sheryl was hiding. If she was there, I couldn't see her. The twins stood right at the lake's edge, letting the water cover their feet.

After some time, I decided to sit on the log, occasionally checking around for any signs of Sheryl. I was wondering when the twins were going to try to tempt me. They seemed to have no interest in me at all. How was I going to prove myself capable of resisting if they didn't try something? Could it be possible this wasn't a trap? Watching the twins pay me no mind was certainly making it look that way. They were off in their own little world.

It was at that moment when one of the twins told the other she needed to pee. She did a quick look around and, while still out in the open, undid her cutoffs and let them drop to her ankles before stepping out of them. She didn't even squat down. She just stood and let it flow... right in front of me. The trap was being set.

When she was done, she looked at her sister and said, "Great. I don't have anything to wipe with."

Her sister responded, "Don't look at me. I didn't bring anything either."

Then they turned to me as if to ask if I had anything. I decided to play along. "I've got something." I then pulled off my t-shirt and, while still seated, offered it. She came to me and took it from me. She folded it into a rectangular shape, but instead of just wiping herself, she placed it on one of my legs. Then she turned away from me and lowered herself until she was straddling my leg. I certainly wasn't expecting that.

She started, slowly at first, in a back-and-forth motion. As she picked up the pace, I could feel her pressing down harder. All I could think of was just how unfair this was. A beautiful woman's bare bottom was right there, as close as close can be, and I'm expected to leave it alone? How was I going to get through this?

Her pace slowed until one final pump of her hips. She just stayed in place for a few moments. As she did so, I saw her sister, naked from the waist down, taking a pee herself. She came over to us and said, "My turn." Her sister got off my leg and was replaced with the other. Unlike her sister, she was facing me.

She looked me in the eyes as she began her movements. At first, she had her hands on her knees. As her movements intensified, she wrapped her arms around my neck and placed her head on my shoulder. I could feel her warm breath on my skin as she uttered a soft moan. One final thrust, then it was over. I got through it. Or so I thought.

After she got off me, her sister said, "Now I'm horny."

The other agreed and added, "If only there was a man around." Then they both turned to look at me. My wife sure does know how to test me. How much more can a man take? Of course, the twins got down on all fours in front of me. As if there wasn't enough temptation.

I tried thinking about my marriage, but all I could see was two perfect backsides staring back at me. I tried to justify what I was about to do. I mean, isn't there a law that says twins can only be related to each other? If there isn't, there should be. And what is sex anyway? I mean, scientifically speaking, do penises and vaginas even qualify as body parts? If they do, they shouldn't. I made up my mind. She forgave me all those times before. What's one more time? I took off the rest of my clothes, and after deciding which teen to do first, I got in position, and just as I was about to enter, I heard a scream.

We looked in the direction it came from. It was Sheryl. Why? Couldn't she have waited just a tiny bit longer? She just turned away and said in a slow, measured tone, "I said no relatives." I tried coming up with some clever excuse, and just as I was about to say something, I heard the twins say together, "We know." One twin added, "We did it because you wouldn't leave him. You claimed your marriage was over a long time ago. How long are we supposed to wait?"

Wait, what? You mean she's been cheating on me the whole time I've been cheating on her? How could she? For crying out loud, she's a married woman! And with her own cousins?

Sheryl ran over to Connie and Cheryl and hugged them. All three burst into tears, completely ignoring me. Sheryl told them she was going to do it. I wondered what she meant by that.

One twin asked, "For real? You're going to divorce him?" Sheryl just nodded her head, unable to speak.

I was unable to speak too. The three of them began to walk off together as I tried, in vain, to put my clothes back on. My pants kept falling around my ankles as I struggled to keep up. I was finally able to find my voice and shouted after them, "What about me?"

Sheryl turned to me and answered, "I'll send you the divorce papers. Make sure you sign them." Then she turned and the three continued on their way. I watched them as long as I could see them and even after I couldn't. My wife left me. The only woman I could ever love was leaving me for the, two other, only women I could ever love. I was convinced that no pain could hurt worse than the one I was feeling at that very moment.

I looked up to the sunny, cloudless sky to the man upstairs. "Lord." I began. "What, what I ask, did I do, that was so bad to deserve this?" I waited... nothing. Then, in a flash, it came to me. The sudden realization of just how wrong I had been.

Getting struck by lightning hurts much worse!