'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
We were fucking like rabbits, both pissed on the Grouse.
My stockings were strewn on the back of a chair,
And my legs were akimbo, both feet in the air.
My husband was fucking me hard on the bed,
When, “I’m cumming! I’m cumming!” he finally said.
He finished inside with a moan and a grunt,
Then he slept before making me cum - what a cunt!
I was still feeling horny and down on my luck,
When a noise from outside made me say, “What the fuck?!”
Away to the shutter I flew like a flash,
Our juices still wet in my cock-hungry gash.
I opened the window, peered out in the snow,
And focused my gaze on the garden below,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a fucking great sleigh and eight randy reindeer!
The driver wolf-whistled and flashed me his dick,
And I knew in a moment, it’s naughty St. Nick!
As soon as the sleigh stopped, the amorous deer
Started rutting; each bull took a cow from the rear.
First Dasher, then Dancer, then Prancer and Vixen,
In Comet, in Cupid, in Donner, in Blitzen!
On the top of the porch! On the top of the wall!
There was no way to stop them, no method at all!
As deer-spunk and faeces bespattered the lawn,
I knew I’d be cleaning it up, come the dawn.
Then, up to the housetop the reindeer they flew
With the sleigh full of sex toys, and Naughty Nick too—