2052. The Bunker.

 The last thing I should be doing is thinking about him. I need to leave this rotten city. If they find me, I’m dead. I should get out of this disgusting mattress this very instant and do something useful. Why the hell do I keep thinking about him instead? The man who ruined me. The man who made me his slave. Viktor Volkov.

I stand up in a rush and ensure the bunker doors are sealed. The image of his piercing, pale blue eyes comes to my mind while I peruse the shelves looking for a knife. Stop. I need to stop. I shouldn’t think about the man who took my virginity… and my humanity. I shouldn’t be thinking about his muscular arms, his dark hair drenched with sweat, the way he would say “Lucy” under his breath, his moans of pleasure when I put my lips to his naked chest and ran my hand down to his waist until I reached… No. The sweeter the memory, the more acute the pain.

Why do I keep doing this to myself? Even now, hundreds of years later, I remember every little detail. Especially those first weeks and that fateful night when I succumbed to him, his fangs penetrating my skin, the blood pouring hot from my neck.

I should hate him for it. I should hate Viktor. Every shitty thing that happened to me after that night was because of him. And yet… I wish I could feel his skin against mine once more. I wish he were here to take me away.

CHAPTER ONE
Married to a Vampire

1825. Volkov Manor, Scotland.

My life felt like a bad dream, and I wished someone would wake me up. I raised the lantern and peered through the carriage window, taking note of the dark woods along the quiet road. 

The sharp calls of birds from afar and the ambience’s quietness told me no human inhabited the environment. I wasn’t quite taken aback because Viktor Volkov was the weirdest man I’d seen in my entire life. Just when I thought I would remain the oldest single lady in England—after James jettisoned me on the altar—my father had to compel me to marry a mysterious man I only met twice. A foreigner with a Russian accent and beautiful eyes who seemed completely uninterested in me.

It was simple. My father was in debt and had to marry me off to a man who was fairly flushed in the pocket. That way, he’d pay all the people he owed and also marry me off to avoid ruining the family’s reputation. I couldn’t blame my father since I wasn’t sexy and pretty enough to keep James; at least, I could help him by consenting to the marriage just to save the Goldman from the scorn and disdain they got since James eloped with his bewitching maid on our wedding day.

The truth was, I was more abashed by myself than my father was. Even though I detested this Viktor and at times pondered on how to abscond—here I was, traveling several miles away from England to his manor in Scotland. I presumed my past was behind me, and now, I couldn’t stop wondering what the future had in store for Viktor and me.

My thoughts halted as soon the carriage stopped moving. When I gawked through the window again, it was twilight. Curiously, I gathered my dress’s hem and stepped out of the carriage, gazing at the dark orange manor before me. It had tall, thin windows with a small pane of glass, and huge oak trees stood by the sides. As I walked near the door, a strong earthy smell wafted into my nostrils, making me feel like someone lost in the forest.

Silence lingered in the air like a tomb, except for the starling’s blaring chorus. Just behind the manor was a mountain cliff that made the environment sightly, but I couldn’t stop wondering why he chose to reside in isolation. Under the dark blue sky, I saw some magpies dancing from the garden to the footpath as if delighted with my presence.

It was so strange! What sort of man resided in the forest where birds and other creatures were predominant? My eyes darted to where the coachman was, but he had disappeared; he must have left after offloading my luggage next to the wall. Intense fright gripped me when I realised I was alone in the garden. Quickly, I knocked at the door, anticipating my handsome but odd husband’s presence.

I had only seen him twice. Once, when he visited my father late at night to discuss a few details about the wedding. I had to spy on them to see the kind of man my father was marrying me to. He was undoubtedly attractive —pale skin and dark hair, tall, strong and impeccably dressed. The second time I saw him was the day of our wedding. The ceremony was held almost in secret, with none of his family attending. After the vows were spoken and the deal was sealed, he left in a rush. He didn’t even bother to say goodbye. Would his behaviour towards me be different this time?

I was shrouded in a fitted white dress, with a poofy upper sleeve, over an elbow-length pair of matching gloves. To maintain an acceptable beauty standard, I pulled my blonde hair into a simple bun, and my face was framed with a series of small curls. Despite my glittery hair embellishments, fitted dress, smooth pale complexion, and red-tinted lips, deep down, I didn’t feel beautiful enough. If I were appealing, James wouldn’t have abandoned me on our wedding day, and Viktor would have at least lustily gawked at me. However, it seemed I wasn’t good enough for any man.

Standing in front of his door reminded me that I was nothing but the product of a successful business transaction. My heart leapt when the door flung open. I thought Viktor would show up to welcome me, at least, as a sign of respect, but a pretty lady with corn-coloured hair stood before me. She wore a neat and simple attire, and her hair was packed into a ponytail.

“Welcome, ma’am. Please, come in.” She curtseyed and moved aside before I stepped inside the massive chamber. Judging by the accent edging her English, I could tell she was French.

The high ceilings, exotic chandeliers, pillars at the room’s centre, colourful artworks on the wall and furniture in the great chamber said so much about Viktor’s attention to aesthetics—the first humane thing I knew about him.

“I’m Eponine, the maid of the house.” The maid’s voice reached my earshot, and I spun to face her. “Your chamber is this way, ma’am.” She gestured to the stairs, and I inclined my head.

“Thank you, miss Eponine.”

She led the way to the top floor, and I trailed behind her, still gawking at the comely chamber.

A moment after strolling in the passageway, she stopped in front of a door. Just then, another door in the passageway swung open, and Viktor stepped out, looking as handsome as the first day I had set my eyes on him.

He wore a tailored jacket, waistcoats, pants, and a linen shirt with an attached cravat around the neck. His dark curly hair was well-groomed, and he retained a few artfully arranged locks over his forehead. He had broad shoulders and a strong jaw. His icy blue eyes held my stare, and goosebumps covered me from head to toe. I expected him to say something, but he was silent. I bit my lip in anticipation. He was even more dashing than I remembered, and I cursed him for that.

Eponine turned the doorknob and stepped inside the room, making us break our eye contact.

“Please.” Eponine stood aside and gestured that I enter the room.

When I was about to say something to him, Viktor suddenly turned around without a word, his shoes resonating in the hallway as he strolled away. I looked back again, wondering why Viktor ignored me. A throbbing twinge on my knees told me I needed to rest, so I stepped inside.

“Your meal is ready, miss. Come to the dining room when you’re willing.” She curtseyed and walked outside. When she shut the door, I gazed at the wide, neat bedchamber for a while before collapsing on the bed. The maid sounded overly dutiful and unamiable. I couldn’t understand why she acted in that manner. Did I do something to offend her? Well, I was in the house already, and perhaps, I needed to take a relaxing bath before thinking of what next to do. One thing was certain; I was the house’s mistress but not of Viktor’s heart.

***

I had the most vexing dinner of my life. Although the food smelled delicious, I had to wait a whole hour for Viktor to even show up at the table, so everything got cold. When he finally sat at the table, he didn’t address me or even look at me. Instead, he poured himself a glass of red wine filled to the top and started drinking as if I wasn’t in the room. I was expecting him to apologise for being late, so I asked if he had been attending some business. He shrugged, and that was the end of our conversation. After he hurriedly drank the entire glass of wine, he left almost immediately without touching any dishes served. Was I invisible to him? Did he despise me? I felt so ashamed and angry that I couldn’t make myself swallow any food.

Hot with rage, I drew out my gown, tossed it on the bed and pulled off my corset. Still a bit teary, I massaged my breasts, wondering why no man wanted me. I walked near the mirror beside the bed, gazing at my nude body. No man had ever touched my breasts, let alone made me feel like a woman. I was in decent shape, and my skin was flawless, yet my husband, Viktor, hadn’t said a word to me, much less held me against his tense body.

Suddenly, the door flung open, and Viktor was standing by the door when I spun around. His chiselled torso was naked and glittering with sweat, and I could only imagine feeling his turgid body on mine. Honestly, I was befogged at how I simultaneously loved and hated this man. My heart rolled in my chest as his eyes fell on my breasts. Oh, God! It’s going to happen…

His full lashes flapped when his eyes draped to my thighs, and I wondered if that was longings or anger. He stared at me up and down for what felt like an eternity. He was enjoying himself, taking his time. I stared at his groin area, searching for a sign of desire, but I saw nothing. I didn’t know whether to be delighted or melancholic that he had no interest in me.

“You should rest,” he said in a coarse, brisk tone. “Good night.”

Without taking a second stare, he walked out of my room. Despondently, I gawked at the mirror, quite perplexed my nudity did not affect him after all. “Am I unattractive?” I questioned my reflection in the mirror in disappointment. It was unimaginable that a man wouldn’t even get a bulge after staring at me. Perhaps, that was why James had eloped with a sexier lady—because I was not much to look at. That was my reward for being twenty-three and unworthy.

I changed into my nightwear, climbed on the cozy bed and grabbed my pillow to comfort me and keep my cold body warm. The first night at Volkov Manor, I cried myself to sleep.

***

One week later, my attraction for Viktor was undeniable, and so was the rage I felt for him. Ignoring me as if I didn’t exist was a sign of profound cruelty, and I loathed him for it.

I had taken my afternoon bath and donned a round gown with long sleeves. A pair of half-boots were around my feet, and a brightly coloured shawl of cashmere was wrapped around my shoulders to keep my body warm as the cold weather was often extreme during dawn and twilight.

While staring at my reflection in the mirror, I rolled my hair into a neat bun and donned a lace cap. I planned to walk around the manor again—something I presumed would help me adapt to the new environment. I walked outside my bedchamber, heading down to the great chamber through the steps. I hadn’t seen Viktor during the day. I’d been walking around near his room to get a little insight into his whereabouts in the morning. Still, he was nowhere to be seen.

I strolled inside the great chamber, heading outside the manor. The sun was about to set, and the sky shone with a reddish light. One could see the magpies hopping excitedly in the garden. The starling was singing as usual, and somehow, it reminded me of those happy moments I had spent with my sisters in England. I was the Goldman family’s eldest daughter, and I’d often protect my sisters from anyone who would dare hurt them. Especially cruel men who would break their hearts.

Unfortunately, I ended with one. If my father’s business hadn’t gone crippled, I was sure I wouldn’t have ended with a man as inhumane as Viktor. Regardless of my unhappiness, I couldn’t blame my father. At least, thanks to my marriage, he could provide for my sisters, and now they could get married and be happy. What else could I wish for?

James’s disappearance had ruined my reputation in England; however, I still had my sisters’ company, and not one day passed that I was ever lonely. They stood by me and reminded me that James’s unfaithfulness wasn’t my fault; he was a lousy man with no soul. Even I knew that. And yet… it still hurt. I still missed him sometimes. His blond hair and honey-colored eyes, the way he would grab my shoulders and made me feel safe. Gently, I walked by the house, gazing at the mountain cliff and the patches of clouds above it.

“The dinner is served, ma’am.” The housekeeper’s voice made me spin immediately. Eponine never wore a smile, and I wondered why. At times, I had the hunch she wasn’t too pleased to have me in the house, just like her boss.

“Thank you. Have you journeyed out of these walls before? Somewhere akin to that cliff?” I asked her.

“My duty is not to journey about. It is to care for the house, ma’am.” Her response was sharp and malicious. I was befogged about why she sounded displeased and mean.

I sat around the table, gazing at the honey cake, French bread, roasted chicken, two bottles of red wine and a kettle of tea. If Viktor wasn’t the type who ate, why had he instructed her to make all these meals? Maybe that was why she was mad at me. However, since I’d stepped foot in the manor, my appetite had worsened because the house was devoid of love. What would often happen was that I would wait for Viktor to show up. Minutes stretched into hours, and Viktor wouldn’t come, or when he did, he left almost immediately. I’d never seen him during breakfast. And the question coursing through my mind was how did he leave the house without my knowledge because I was awake before anyone. Or was he in his room? Didn’t he have work to do, business to attend? I gawked at the stairway, again as if that would change anything.

As usual, I was prepared to start eating by myself. Still, to my surprise, I saw Viktor standing at the foot of the stairs; then, he walked gallantly like a warlord through the steps to the dining table. Damn him for being so handsome! His neat attire and well-groomed hair spawned him a swell of the first stare. He pulled a chair back and sat. I grabbed the cutlery and began to fork the sliced chicken, stealing glances at Viktor. He gazed at the food for a moment, poured himself a glass of red wine, and he repeated the same process until he emptied a bottle.

A few minutes later, he dabbed his mouth’s corners, set the napkin on the table and got up. He gazed at the table as if pondering, and our eyes met. It seemed as if he whispered something sweet to my soul, pulling at my heartstrings. He broke our stare, shoved his chair backwards and walked away. For God’s sake, how did he survive without eating? And the wine never made him drunk. Who was this man? I pondered as I placed the teacup between my lips. Some minutes later, I dabbed my mouth with a clean napkin and got up, heading to my room.

I had left my door open every night, but Viktor hadn’t shown up in my room again. Why did he even marry me in the first place? If I were to run away, I was sure he wouldn’t even notice. I should’ve been glad he was ignoring me, but I wasn’t. I hated him because I shouldn’t care about what he thought or did… and yet, he was always on my mind.

***

That night, a fierce storm emerged, and I hurried to the windows, shutting them. I hated storms. A clap of thunder rumbled in the house, and goosebumps covered me like a garment. I changed into my light nightwear gown and climbed onto the bed. On nights like this, my sisters and I would climb into my bed and hold each other. Still, now I was alone. A bolt of blaring lightning struck outside, and soon it started raining heavily. I was chilled to the bone and couldn’t bear it any longer. My gown was almost transparent with sweat, stuck to my body, and my hard nipples were visible through the thin fabric. Nervous butterflies fluttering in my stomach, I headed to the passageway. Everything got eerier when I noticed the great chamber was dark. Involuntarily, I treaded around Viktor’s room. Why was I even here? My arms were wrapped across my chest as I paced back and forth around his room. Should I enter?

Then I realised something wonderful. His room’s door was slightly open, and I felt something I hadn’t quite yet felt before… Something I couldn’t name yet. My stomach was warm, my breathing was heavy, and my nipples grew erect with anticipation. My vagina was pulsating, and when I slipped my hand below my gown to touch it, I noticed it was wet. Thinking about Viktor alone in his room at night made my clit hurt.

The last thing I wanted was to appear wanton, but my clit seemed not to care. I gazed at my nightwear, a transparent gown that left nothing to the imagination. My hard nipples were so big and obvious that there was no way he wouldn’t notice them. Hunger permeated my entire body, causing me to peep through the opening. At that very moment, lightning struck. Through the bright light from the lightning, I saw Viktor lying naked on his back, reading a book, and his legs were spread out. I grabbed my breasts in misery when I saw his firm torso and large cock.

Desperately, I pushed the door completely open and stepped in. Viktor lifted his head, but when he saw me, he laid back nonchalantly, leaving the book on the bedside table. I could swear I saw him staring at my nipples. Intense rage blended with huge hunger, and a gush of fear saturated me, so I jumped on the bed beside him. He got up immediately and stood bewildered in front of me. Unashamedly, I rolled up my gown and faced him, ass naked. I laid down, spread my thighs and rubbed my clit. “I’m your wife, aren’t I?” I said when he looked at me. My voice quivered as I spoke. And even though I felt I’d made a mistake, I still massaged my wet vagina, feeling hornier. His eyes darted to my pulsating, rosy and moist slit.

Though he appeared displeased and angry, his cock was hard, and I was dying to get it. In the blink of an eye, Viktor climbed on the bed, crawling to me. Between his sturdy legs was his manhood, getting increasingly closer. In excitement, I massaged myself more, making my wetness pool out. Leaning, he placed one of his strong arms at my side while his other hand, cold and rough, rested on my belly. His firm torso was pressed against my breasts and his intense, icy blue stare pierced into my soul. The tip of his penis brushed against my right thigh. His mouth was so close that I felt his warm breath’s ticklish sensation around my neck.

My chest heaved as the hunger heightened. We had never been this close. His armpit was near my face, and his smell was so intoxicating that I was tempted to grab his cock. However, I controlled myself.

“Do you know what your name means?” he whispered in his deep, raspy voice, and I couldn’t comprehend what he meant. I was out of myself. “Your name means light. Something I desire, yet cannot have.”

His hoarse voice was so soothing that it made me even hornier. My heart flopped when his lips moved close to mine. In anticipation, I opened my mouth for him to gain entrance. Yes, I hated him. Still, what wouldn’t I have given for getting his fat cock inside me? Enraptured, I closed my eyes while he inserted a finger in my mouth and put his lips on my neck. He rolled his tongue from the start of my neck to behind my ear, and an electric current made all my hair stand on end.

He moved both his powerful arms under me and grabbed me tightly by the waist. I expected him to part my legs and shove his cock inside my sheath. Instead, he was lifting my body. I opened my eyes, entranced by his beguiling blue eyes. Abruptly, he pushed me out of his bed.

“Leave. Don’t ever come to my room again.”

I couldn’t believe what had just happened. Tears rolled out of my eyes as I pushed down my gown’s hem and walked out of his room. Back in my room, I lay on my back and pressed my eyes shut. My heart was heavy with frustration and rolled with rage. Why? Why did he do that to me? It seemed he was about to… Finally, I made him hard. How could he be so cruel?

My anger didn’t halt the hunger I felt. The picture of his hard cock filled my head, so I parted my thighs, massaging my moist clit tenderly. The more I rubbed, the harder my clit got. My chest heaved as pleasure spread all over my body. I slid my middle finger into my hole, fingering myself, and imagined his chunky and erect cock thrusting in and out of me. Intense ecstasy overwhelmed me, and I moaned, twisting my hips towards my fingers. I cupped my breasts in my hands, tormenting my nipples with the tip of my tongue.

My stomach tightened, and my toes curled and uncurled. I bit my lower lip as I finger-fucked myself more rapidly. My wetness made it smoother and more exciting. It was the first time I masturbated, and it was great. My stomach clamped, and I moaned aloud as an orgasm washed over me. Extreme calmness spread all over my body, and my chest heaved. However, tears reeled out of my eyes when I remembered the disgrace and rejection I encountered in Viktor’s room. I fell asleep and dreamed of his blue eyes.