CHAPTER 7: The Studio

Luca’s studio was on the second floor. Luca walked in, and Naamah followed. Two tables occupied the corner. Two large monitors stood next to each other on the tables. A laptop computer rested in a well in one of them.

“Four terabytes,” said Luca proudly, describing the computer.

There were separate boxes for pencils, pens, and markers. A three-drawer file cabinet sat in a corner. A set of shelves held a small library of reference books. The studio decorations were prints featuring work by Alphonse Mucha, Eugène Delacroix, and Gil Elvgren.

“I’ve got some stuff almost ready to go,” said Luca. “This easel has one of the pieces.” The single panel showed Pinocchio, complete with a long nose, talking to an unnamed man on the street. The caption read, “I don’t mind the length so much, but when the wife comes in to take care of my morning wood, she keeps trying to suck off my nose.”

“There it is. Mavis at ‘Man’s Monthly’ is going to love it.”

“I don’t get it.”

“What?”

“Why does that guy have a nose that long?”

“Because he’s Pinocchio.”

“What’s a Binokyo?” she asked. “Is that near Tokyo?”

Luca patiently explained the story of Pinocchio.

When Luca finished, Naamah said, “I still don’t get it. Why would his wife suck on his nose?”

Luca sighed. “Because his nose is so long and straight that his wife mistakes it for his penis. Naamah, after several hundred million years at the Eternal Orgy, haven’t you ever met anyone with a sense of humor?”

“Of course I have. Let me tell you a joke,” Naamah said.

“Go.”

“Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Luca smiled. “Okay, why?” he asked. These jokes can be pretty good when done cleverly. He smiled and got ready for the punchline.

“To slay the Persian king and bring his army to its knees.”

Luca’s smile vanished. “What?”

“Ally told me that one.”

“Ally.”

“Alexander of Macedon. Alexander the Great. I call him Ally.”

“Naamah, that’s not funny.”

“Of course it is. Picture this little chicken swinging this gigantic sword, trying to slay the King of Persia. And picture the entire Persian army kneeling before this chicken.”

“Okay, maybe the part about the army has possibilities. But what could be funny about a chicken crossing a road to kill somebody?”

“Nothing. That’s why it’s funny,” she replied victoriously. “You can have that one for free.”

“Thank you,” he replied, using up all the sincerity he could muster.“Moving right along, this next one is for ‘Let’s Have Fun,’ which is a monthly for kids under ten.”

The layout of the cartoon image was unchanged, but the style was more cartoony and less realistic— Pinocchio, with his long nose, talking to an unnamed man. This caption read, “I don’t mind the length so much, but I hate cleaning up all the sawdust after I sneeze.”

“I don’t get it,” she said.

Any more of this, and Luca knew he would not be able to control his irritation. “Naamah,” Luca said calmly, "here is your homework assignment for when you get back to the Otherworld: find and talk to Mark Twain, James Thurber, Will Rogers, and Art Buchwald.”

“Who?”

“Just find these guys and talk to them for a while. When you’re finished, come back and tell me a joke.

“I don’t see why. My jokes are pretty funny already. But yeah, I’ll track these guys down.”

“Fair warning, my friend. No joke, no mana.”

“No mana! What? We have an agreement!”

“Not a drop, ounce, or teaspoon of this stuff, or however it’s measured.”

“Well, okay. See you later, Mr. Mana Man,” she said enthusiastically. “I am off to find this Mark Twine, James Burglar, Will Bloggers, and Art Whatshisname. And then I will come back and tell you a great joke.” She transported Luca to the living room sofa, then vanished with her customary whoosh.

Luca despaired over his relationship with Naamah. The succubus knew sex; that much was clear. She knew what made a man happy. However, when it came to doing things in the real world, she had no clue. He wondered if their relationship would survive even the two or three more days until his passage.

CHAPTER 8: A timely visit

Dawn gradually brightened the room. Luca lay on the sofa. After an hour or so, he gathered his strength and sat up. After losing so much mana to Cleopatra, he felt unsteady. He could not yet walk. By lunchtime, hunger drove him into the kitchen.

Luca sat and ate. Then he prepared for his mortal death. Luca wrote notes of friendship and love to those whom he thought would be among the first to find his remains. He went online and updated his will.

In the course of his preparations for his mortal death, Luca thought about the trade-off between life and its temporary pains, and death and its eternal pleasures. He daydreamed about Naamah.

The knowledge that, despite his personal success and his age, there was yet no woman in his life almost brought him to tears. He smiled at the thought that in a few days, he would have all the women he wanted for all eternity.

And if he had Naamah, Cleopatra, and Helen forever, that would mean he was already dead. This thought yanked him back to reality and to the serious matter at hand.

The doorbell rang.

Luca looked at the Bling app on his phone. At the door was his sister, Kate. “Yikes,” said Luca. He rushed to hide all traces of Naamah. He ran the home security system video on fast forward to see if Naamah was in any of the images. She was indeed, and he quickly deleted the security footage.

The doorbell rang again.

He opened the door. “Kate!” He exclaimed, “How wonderful to see you!”

“I was here only last weekend,” Kate said. She looked at Luca suspiciously. “You okay?”

“Who? Me? Yeah, no, I’m fine.” He replied.

Kate walked into the kitchen. “Dad’s birthday is coming up this weekend. Mom, Brad, and I want to give him a trip to one of the sports Halls of Fame. You in?”

“Oh, yeah. Sports are great.” Luca made a mental note to give Kate money to cover the trip in a new revision of his will. “Count me in.”

Kate looked at him. “You sure you’re okay? What’s going on?”

“Nothing, dammit. Now cut it out.” He replied.

Kate spotted a sticky note attached to the stove hood. She took it down. “Read the letter on the dining room table,” it read. Kate recognized Luca’s handwriting.

Kate looked at Luca. Luca moved to block the door to the dining room. Kate pushed him aside and headed straight for the letter. She began to read:

Dear Dad, Mom, Brad, and Kate,

I have found a beautiful woman. I am going away with her forever. My body is in the studio. Note that I am smiling. This is because I am going to a place where I will be happy for all eternity. Do not be sad for me. No tears. There will come a time when we are all together again.

Sincerely and with love,

Luca

“Luca! No! There is too much for you to live for!” Kate said.

“Kate, it’s not what it looks like.”

“It ‘looks like’ you are suicidal. In your letter, you are saying goodbye forever to your family. Luca, I am making no judgment here. I haven’t seen any alcohol around. Have you started drinking?”

“No.”

“Any street drugs?”

“No.”

“Luca, do you have a gun?”

“No.”

“Are you depressed?”

“No. Well, I wish I had a girlfriend. But that’s always true, and anyway that’s none of your business.”

“Yeah, but your preparation to take your own life is my business,” Kate replied. “Luca, I do not understand what is happening, but the phone number for the national suicide hotline is 988.”

Kate walked to him. She touched his cheek. “Dear Luca, don’t leave us. There are four of us who love you.” Kate kissed him on the nose. “Remember that?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he answered, “I’m five years old again.” He smiled.

“It’s good to see the smile again,” Kate said. “But I am still uneasy about this. I am not leaving you here alone tonight. Your support for Dad’s birthday trip was bullshit, wasn’t it?”

“No, it wasn’t,” Luca replied, stretching the truth.

After checking the downstairs bathroom closet for sleeping pills and finding none, Kate settled into the spare bedroom on the first floor.

CHAPTER 9: Picture of a funeral

Night fell. Around two in the morning, Naamah materialized into Luca’s living room. Kate remained asleep. Naamah got right to the heart of the matter. “Well, Mr. Mana Man, ready for a round?” she asked an empty living room.

Naamah checked the kitchen. She checked the entryways and looked around the backyard. Luca was not there.

He’s not a runner, Naamah thought. Guys don’t run from succubi. Guys have died on me, yeah. But in two eons, only about a dozen men have ever declined the Eternal Orgy.

On her way through the living room, Naamah read Luca’s farewell note lying on the table. The note said goodbye, love you all, I have found a good woman, etc. Yeah, she thought to herself, the mortals should understand that.

Still, Naamah felt that the note should have a happier tone. There should be something to the effect that, despite appearances, he was happy man and would be so forever. She sat down to write. To adopt a style, she thought about writers she had known over the eons. She settled on Jane Austen as someone who could produce good characters and, most importantly for purposes of the note, give these people a happy ending. Besides, Naamah and Jane were personal friends.

Luca was a snacker. On the table sat an empty can of Diet Bloke and the remains of a bowl of potato chips. Naamah reached into the bowl for one of the “wafer thins,” as she thought of them. Her fingers stung immediately.

“Ow!” She yelled. She looked in the bowl for a lizard or even a scorpion. She saw the square crystals of sodium chloride. “Salt!” She said. The bane of the Otherworld, salt was universally hated alike by incubi and succubus, by the Big Guy and the queen, and by all the non-royal denizens of the Otherworld. Salt hurt.

“I shall have to talk to that man,” muttered Naamah as she held her stung hand under the running water of the kitchen sink faucet. Her addition to Luca’s letter was never written.

Naamah continued to look for Luca. She tried the studio. Curious about why she could not find him, she asked herself, What makes this guy tick? She began looking through the studio drawers.

There were acres of drawings in sketchbooks. Luca had dated his sketches; the earliest one, a picture of a cartoon duck, dated from when he was fourteen years old. Naamah estimated that Luca must have drawn a sketch almost every day from about the time he was about fifteen.

Another drawer contained a pile of Japanese pornography, as well as all manner of adult material, including catalogs for sex toys. Naamah was unsurprised at the adult stuff; it was the mark of a man who had no woman in his life. She now had a clearer picture of the man she was seducing: he was devoted to his art, and he was one lonely dude.

Naamah finally found him. Luca was curled up in a ball underneath the typewriter well on his desk. Near him on the floor were several draft cartoons. Most were the pencils. A few were in ink.

Naamah picked up several pages of the inks. The first page, marked “splash page” in pencil, consisted of a single panel. In the picture, a man stood on a hill. He wore a sweatshirt marked with a large letter L.

The Luca character’s arms were outstretched, and a big smile spread across his face. He was saying, “Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! I’m here at last.” Below him, to the lower right, an orgy was underway. Women with large breasts were sucking off men with large penises. Women with dripping vaginas were enjoying men with long tongues.

The next one was marked “page 3,” divided into four panels. In the first, the Naamah character appeared, indicated by a large letter N on her t-shirt. She had taken the Luca character by the arm. “Welcome, Luca! Welcome to the Eternal Orgy. Enjoy! Enjoy all these women forever!”

That’s not exactly what I say to the newbies, thought Naamah. Also, Luca could have drawn my nose a little better.

The second panel showed the Luca character striding through the orgy, very full of himself. “Hey there, stud,” a large-breasted woman shouted at him, “come here and take me.”

In the third panel, the Luca character proclaimed he would explore the many regions of the Eternal Orgy and find the delights that each had to offer.

In the fourth panel, at the lower right-hand corner of the page, a voice balloon from off-camera said, “Oh, this is so terrible.” A second such balloon said, “What was wrong? He was still a young guy.” “So much of life ahead of him,” said a third. The Luca character startled and looked to his left (the reader’s right). The Naamah character said, “What’s that?”

Page 4 was one large panel. The panel showed a man lying on his back in a long box, with his eyes closed and his hands folded across his stomach. Nearby stood two men and two women. The older man was holding the older woman, and the younger woman had buried her face in her hands. The younger man wrapped his arm around the younger woman’s shoulder. No one on the page spoke.

What is this guy in the box supposed to be doing? Is he sleeping? Naamah thought.

“Like it?” Luca asked, still beneath the desk.

“Hi there, Mr Hidden Man. I like Pages 2 and 3, which look a lot like the actual Orgy.” Naamah replied. “But this Page 4 I don’t understand at all.”

“Page 4 shows my funeral.”

“Your what?”

“My funeral,” Luca said. “Do you know what a funeral is?”

“No. What is that?

“Well, a funeral is like a little meeting,” Luca said. “The point of a funeral is to pay respect to the dead. They put the dead person’s body in a large box. People who come to the funeral are mostly family and friends who were close to the dead person.

“So in this picture,” Luca continued, “that is me in the box. The older man and woman are my parents, and the younger man and woman are my brother Brad and my sister Kate.”

“What is your sister supposed to be doing? It looks like she is washing her face.” Naamah asked.

“Naamah, she is crying.”

“Crying?”

“When humans are sad, often a watery liquid drops out of their eyes. The drops are called tears, and the whole process is called crying. They are sad because in the picture, I have died by suicide.”

“Well, so what if the mortal you is dead?” Naamah replied, “Now the immortal you is alive. Like in the first two pages you drew here.

“I saw your note to your family. Write it again. This time, put more emphasis on your still being alive somewhere else so the mortals understand that you are happy.”

“Naamah, hold it down,” Luca whispered. “Kate is sleeping in the bedroom downstairs. She thinks I am committing suicide.”

“Well, aren’t you?” Naamah whispered back. “True, it’s more of a transition than a death. But you will get something for that. In fact, you’ll get quite a lot.”

“You’re not helping,” Luca replied. “Because I have committed suicide in the picture, my family is sad. Naamah, fer chrissakes, in the eighty-five bazillion years you’ve been around, haven’t you ever been sad?”

“Rarely. As a succubus, I have seen a lot of sad people. When murder victims first arrive in the Otherworld, they are always sad. So are the war dead. And I’ll admit to being irritated with my sister Eisheth fairly often.

“But Luca, I have never been to one of these ‘funerals.’” As she spoke the word “funerals,” Naamah made air quotes with her fingers. “I am always part of the Otherworld welcoming committee, and I have to be waiting at the Eternal Orgy. If something happens to the mortal after he dies, I never see it.”

“Even for the murdered and the war dead?”

“During a war, people are streaming into the Otherworld. I am only one succubus. I am immortal, but I can still only be in one place at a time. During wartime, the place for me is the Otherworld’s processing center. As for the murder victims, those are individuals. I never see what happens to the mortal’s remains.

“As for ‘crying’ — again she used air quotes—“the only time that my eyes drip water is in the presence of salt. Salt’s awful. Those of us in the Otherworld can’t stand the stuff. I tried to touch your stupid potato wafers a few minutes ago, and the salt stung my hand something fierce. My nuptial rose is maybe not as sensitive to sodium chloride, but the rest of me sure is.”

“Naamah, ” said Luca. “I’m trying to use whatever talent I’ve got to understand what is about to happen. You’re saying that I will die and be happy. And that I will leave behind a living family who should be happy for me, too. All that is hard for a living mortal to understand.

“The cartoon shows my family at my funeral. My sister is crying at my death,” Luca continued. “My mother is leaning against my father because she is sad.”

“Luca, that is stupid. There is no other word for it. They are sad because somebody else is going to be happy.”

“They love me,” Luca said. “Do you?”

“No. It’s always been strictly business,” Naamah replied. “You’ve got mana. I want it. You get a forever membership at the Eternal Orgy. I get mana and a shot at the Otherworld’s top spot.”

“Wait! What?” said Luca. “You’ve never said anything about a shot at a top spot. What is that?”

“You already heard from The Big Guy. Well, I want to be the first Big Girl. I want to run the whole show. I need your mana to do that.”

“No love for me at all?”

“Not a bit,” Naamah said.

“You have been using me, dammit. You humorless, clueless, loveless harpy. Get out of here! And take your shot at becoming the Big Girl with you.”

“Watch who you’re calling a harpy, Mr. Mana Man. Remember, we’ve got a deal, you and me.” Naamah began to vanish.

“Naamah, wait!”

“What now?”

“I’m sorry. For the insults, I am genuinely sorry. But I do not like being used.” Luca said.

“You’re a little late with an apology,” said Naamah. She vanished. But this time her “whoosh” sounded more like a buzz saw.

CHAPTER 10:  Eisheth returns

Eisheth materialized immediately in Luca’s bedroom. “Hi there, Luca. I’m Eisheth. Remember me? I’m the girl who wanted to give you a cock down to your knees,” Eisheth said.

“Now I want a lot of lovin’. I want it slow, easy, warm, and comfortable. And abundant. Especially abundant. Lots and lots of abundant.”

Luca looked up at Eisheth. After Naamah’s behavior, Luca thought, This has possibilities.

Eisheth shouted into the air. “Naamah, conjure up a table for me! And a cushion!”

Naamah rematerialized into the bedroom. “Yeah, Eisheth, what do you want?”

“Well, sister dear, the word around the Eternal Orgy is that you broke up with your boyfriend.”

“Eisheth, that was only three minutes ago!” Naamah said.

“The Orgy’s rumor mill runs on fast forward,” Eisheth said. “Anyway, I came here to fuck your old boyfriend, and I want a comfortable place to do that. And don’t forget that “a comfortable place” includes a knee-length cock for my Lover Boy, here.

Eisheth’s demand irritated Naamah, but reluctantly she conjured a table and a cushion. Naamah grew Luca’s cock to his knees and inflated his testicles. Eisheth leaned over the table on the cushion. Her genitalia, already dripping wet, left a puddle on the floor.

Eisheth placed her hands in front of her, palms down, and rested her head on them. She turned and looked at Luca. She winked at him. “Do me,” she sighed, smiling.

He instantly became hard at the sight of her. His cock slid easily into her warm and well-lubricated pussy. In someone from the real world, a penis as big as his would destroy her internal organs. As a visitor from the Otherworld, Eisheth only moaned.

Lying across the table and enjoying his strokes, Eisheth thought of all the mana she was about to harvest from Luca, of Lilu’s beaming face as she presented the mana to him, and of her future coronation as Queen of the Eternal Orgy. She wondered about what to wear to her coronation. She thought about the bed, located in The Big Guy’s palace, that she and Lilu would soon share. The fact that she was in the midst of being “done” became secondary.

Luca moved faster. She felt his member enlarge, and she felt the head become hard. “Here it comes!” Eisheth shouted.

At Eisheth’s words, Naamah felt jealous but did not understand what was happening. Her irritation with Eisheth had grown to an affirmative desire to hurt her. Naamah felt guilty about her own feelings, which she could not shake off. What happened to the freedom from sadness that a succubus is supposed to enjoy? Naamah thought. And what is this guilt?

Luca felt he had released a river. He let himself rest inside of Eisheth. He pulled out.

Eisheth turned, arose, and kissed him. “Thank you,” she said.

Naamah thought about what had just happened and tried to estimate how much mana she had lost to Eisheth and Cleopatra. Naamah figured half went to Eisheth and a lot to Cleopatra. So more additional time had to be set aside before Naamah could take Luca’s mana that she needed to become The Big Girl.

For his part, Luca was repulsed at the gargoyle that now hung between his legs. Naamah never asked me for such nonsense, he thought. Naamah thought I was fine as I am.

“Oh boy, do I feel good!” Said Eisheth to Luca.

“Oh,” said Luca. He felt weak, as though he had a bout of the flu.

“Hey! Who wants the knee-long cock?” Boomed the Big Guy’s voice.

“That would be me,” said Eisheth enthusiastically into the air.

“Talk to me later in my bedroom,” said the voice. “I got what you need.”

“Yes, sir!” said Eisheth.

Some men who were newly recruited to the Eternal Orgy materialized and stood near Naamah. The men were all smiling in anticipation of having sex forever.

“Look at these guys,” Naamah said to Luca. “They’re all smiling, right? Because each of them is going to be happy forever, right? How come your family couldn’t do that? How come you couldn’t do that? Now go fuck that lying slut Eisheth, idiot!”

Well, it was nice while it lasted, thought Luca. Whether it has to do with humor or death, this succubus does not have a clue. Goodbye, Naamah.

By now, it was late morning. Kate arose and made herself breakfast. Over breakfast, Kate asked Luca about that buzz saw that she had heard a few hours earlier. Luca replied vaguely about a trash pickup and did not mention Naamah.

During the day Luca researched online what a mortal man can do to protect himself against a succubus. He found a website and a BlueDude video that recommended a clean lifestyle, including pure thoughts. In particular, the website promoted a meat-free diet.

He smiled weakly at the thought that his life alone was about as clean as it could possibly get, and laughed out loud at the thought that his life without a companion should become part of a cleanliness defense strategy. On the theory that too much is enough, Luca began researching a vegan diet.