The sender's name on the new message notification read 'TheChatWhisperer.'
The drink in the recipient's hand went airborne.
Shauna, who was still a bit groggy after the intense dream she'd been reluctant to leave, could hardly believe her eyes. Or her luck.
Burton? Is that you?
She was wide awake now and eager to reconnect with the mysterious, supernatural stranger who appeared in her flat from out of thin air only that very evening.
Her mood had been vexed after the uber hot, sublimely fuckable SexyBrit22 proved a no-show for several consecutive days on their chat site. Consequently, at first she was startled and belligerent at the stranger's intrusion. But the dark eyed, attractive man - at least, he looked human - remained calm and deferential.
He introduced himself as the Chat Whisperer.
He called her Miss Shauna (he knew her name, without asking!), and told her she could call him Burton.
Intrigued, she found herself drawn deeper under his spell as their conversation progressed, until she was quite smitten.
Then just as he revealed he would be her personal mentor in the art of sex chat, she suffered the cruel awakening. Thirsty, exhausted and disappointed, she sought refuge in a cold Moxie.
When her screen chimed, she saw hope in a white box. Her nipples hardened with excitement and fought their way through the damp, form fitting t-shirt.
Could it be? Oh Burton, please let it be you!
Ignoring the cola-colored wetness splattering her keyboard from the soda she'd spilled in her momentary shock, Shauna clicked the message link with trembling, equally sloppy hands. She held her breath and waited for the page to load.
Just as her face was starting to turn purple, it did.
As she read, she could hear his soothing baritone in its undefined Crown colony accent so clearly that she glanced around the room, expecting to find his otherworldly handsomeness in a corner she might have missed.
She was alone, except for the soundtrack of his voice, as she read his words:
Dear Miss Shauna,
It was a pleasure to meet and spend time with you.
As I explained during our little talk, I wish to be of some assistance in your future endeavors here. To that end, allow me to offer the following:
You may accept friend requests from FunWithMyDick, 1whackingoodtime, iheart_fucking, and fingerstofapwith. No need to write notes. Each of these members has at least a dozen new adds daily. Wait until your name disappears from their visible activity feed, then simply delete them. No one will be the wiser.
Add Texan4travel, but do not make yourself available yet. Observe him and remain quiet. You will have to weigh his self-centeredness against his creativity. I believe you will make the right decision.
Steer clear of Tonight_we_kiss. The user isn't really a 35-year-old man, but a 300-pound woman old enough to be your grandmother.
You will find FreedomFlyer, getshortyjones, and sailaway2fun to be pleasant company on occasion. Yes, they're players, but they won't make you feel that way.
Handsome69 passes his younger (and better looking) cousin's photos off as his own, and he will never reply to your story comments.
Be sure to block SongOfMyDong, a_bird_in_the_hand, cumsplashedknickers, and charley_horseplay. They are all residents of various correctional facilities and currently serving time for stalking pretty young lasses like you.
While you're at it, block down_underhanded. Rude chap, to say the least - and that's when he's sober.
You'll be wasting your time with chivalrous_dude. He's a decent fellow, but still types by hunt and peck, which explains his minimalist profile bio. You would be waiting until the Mariners win the World Series before you receive your first reply.
Le_Quebecois is not only intelligent, charming and funny, but a true gentleman. I highly recommend him, as he is a close personal friend.
9_inch_Tim's real life nickname is Three Tooth Tris, a fitting moniker he earned during four seasons playing goal for the Oshkosh Otters. The latter also reflects a far more accurate summary of the fellow's personal measurements.
DashingJohn41 has fetishes you are better off not knowing. I implore you to trust me on this.
You may be friends with, but never chat with, anyone who has already chatted with Diva_Venus. Her roleplay skills are phenomenal and her partners will be spoiled rotten. Converse about anything else, but go no further.