When I held my mother’s corpse in my arms, I knew I was next. I hadn’t felt much emotion since. I didn’t need to. Just had to work. There was nothing, no point to my life but that.

As I did every night, I thought of her when I stretched the obituaries out over the stained and shredding carpet. Newspapers had become smaller, the articles and photographs more compact since she’d been alive. But searching the paper was better than the alternative.

My mother had worked in a morgue. The dead were attached to their bodies or their loved ones, so the job helped her find them, but the day before she died, she told me she thought they were starting to figure her out. That she was too close, that the dead could see her face and knew her name.

She’d been right.

Sighing, I smoothed the creases of the paper.

“Calvin Allen,” I murmured, running my fingers over his bolded name.

The guy was forty-five years old, had a beloved wife and children. Active in church. Avid fisherman, hunter, and a supporter of the art museum downtown. Just rounded enough that he probably wasn’t a spirit to worry about. He’d get to the other side easily, and they’d take him from there.

Leaning back, I tightened my crossed legs and lifted the glass of Merlot to my lips. The acidic liquid pooled into my mouth, soaking into my tongue. I swallowed, letting the wine burn down my throat. Closing my eyes, I moaned.

“Fuck that’s good.”

The glass clinked as I set it back down on the coffee table behind me. I turned back to the paper.

Darien Mellor.

Familiar.

Lifting an eyebrow, I leaned forward. Just a mother listed, no other family. Graduated high school but no fuss about accolades or interests. Funeral in two days.

Possible one to worry about. But how do I know that name?

My knees burned as I stretched to the side and turned the pages backward to the first section of the paper. The blurry headlines screamed about murder and mayhem, but my gaze stopped midway down the second page.

The name again.

“Twenty-two year old Darien Mellor was killed early Sunday morning in an alleged robbery of the Kwik-E-Shop on King St. Another suspect was also killed but remains unidentified at the time of this publication....”

Shaking my head, I flipped back to the obits. A bank robber. Greeeat. Put him on my list.

Two others piqued my interest, without pictures. I googled them, looking them up on social media, and found that they in fact appeared to be prime candidates for nightmares.

Three more glasses of wine and I stumbled to bed. Pulling the sheets over my breasts, I squinted at the glow of my alarm clock. Made sure I saw the dot in the corner, the indication the alarm was set to open up the coffee shop in the morning. Then I shut my searing eyes, ready to fight.

When I awoke, I was standing in the living room. Opaque water rippled and licked my toes with the faint trembling of my apartment. The newspaper floated on top of it in front of me, still open to the second page.

I’m dreaming... 

I looked up. A man stood at the bookshelf beyond the paper, fingering a thin book from the pack. Unlike a ghost, his body was sharply lined and vivid. His T-shirt stretched across his sculpted upper back and rippled as he pulled the book down.

But a golden-violet halo quivered over the outline of his body.

“You have one too.”

His voice was deep, grainy. Familiar and not.

I stepped forward, trying to ignore the muddy waves lashing from my feet. “Who are you?”

“You don’t know?” He turned, focused on the open children’s book.

The man’s close cropped hair was dark brown, setting off his olive skin. Pink lips, the lower more full, framed an angular jaw and squared chin.

Darien Mellor, the dead robber from page two.

He was more beautiful than the gritty picture from the gas station camera could’ve captured. Deeply beautiful, as if his soul was pure and radiated from his body. Everything in me told me to go to him.

Which was why I opened my stance and folded my arms in wait.

“Have you ever read this book?”

The book?

I glanced at the thing in his hands. It was a step up from a picture book. My mom had read it to me every night when I was a kid until I told her I could read it myself, and she should save the world instead. I’d seen and read it a thousand times, but the only thing I could remember about the cover was that it had never worn throughout the years and that the spine was golden with violet colored swirls. In fact, I couldn’t remember anything else but that each thick page held two lines and none of them had ever made any sense to me.

“Your pairing will come.” Flipping to second page, his dark blue eyes met mine. “True love. Trust it, for there will never be another.”

His words ripped something inside my chest. Lips open, my mouth went dry. I knotted my trembling hands as I felt like every nerve in my body synapsed at once.

My flesh tingled. “What are you saying?”

“Just reading. I got a book when I was younger too. Just like this.” He shut it.

This isn’t possible. He’s a criminal. A dead one. I should be sending him where he belongs before he terrorizes the world. But his silhouette didn’t waver, his body seeming solid. Nothing like the apparitions I dealt with before.

The man's eyes burned into mine. “They won’t be coming tonight. And I’m not a criminal, despite what the paper says. It’s not the first time the news got it wrong and won’t be the last.”

He heard what I was thinking. I jumped back, cool water splashing under my feet and rushing my ankles. Stared at him. No. This isn't possible. 

“Open your mind, Natalia. I couldn’t believe it either until I saw you, and then this. Remember this book and everything it told you when you were a child. Believe it, and you’ll be able to hear my heart and mind too.” Arm extending, he offered the book to me.

I shook my head. Glanced at the reflection of his halo glimmering in the watery floor. It rippled over the mirrored flame and I looked up to see him stepping toward me.

“Stop!” Adrenaline shot through my veins. Snapping my arms down, I uncurled my fists. Rubbed my thumbs to my index fingers and ignited the ball of flames that had long been my protection. “Don’t fucking come any closer.”

“You’re scared. Don’t be. Take the book.”

“No. Get back. In fact,” I raised my fiery palms, “ get the fuck out of my dream and my apartment. Whatever you are.”

His lips pursed, the muscles in his jaw flexing. Dropping his arm, he let the book flutter to the ground, where it landed face down. A cry wrenched my sternum, the heat in my palms cooling as I watched water seep over its cover.

The criminal stepped forward, arms outstretched.

“No!” The flames burst higher from my hands and I grabbed his smooth forearm. Burned my hand into his skin until I smelled smoke. “Get out.”

Unflinching, he moved closer, shadows dodging the flicker of flame to dance over his face. His hands found my cheeks, pulling my grasp with them. The room hummed and vibrated as his touch soaked through me like the sun.

“You can no more hurt me than I you. Everything you’re missing, I have, as everything I lack is in you.”

Water sloshed around my feet, heat quaking my body. Another book shook from the shelf, splashing to the ground. I hung onto him, mesmerized by his glowing blue-violet eyes. My body felt weak and naked, fully human and unprotected.

“You’re no longer alone, and never will be again.” He smoothed my hair back, never breaking his gaze. “I’m yours. You’re mine. Look at me. Open the eyes behind your eyes, and see.”

Shifting my weight, I touched my toes to the water behind me and leaned back. But his hands kept me in place, leaving me no choice but to put my feet together again and stand in front of him.

I swallowed.

He nodded. “That’s it, my love. Look.”

Who are you? I thought at him.

Color seemed to crash like hypnotic waves in his eyes. Goosebumps shot up my arms and legs as the warmth from his hands melted into my face. Everything faded, the humming vibrations settling into silence.

I fell adrift.

Buoyancy crept through my body, bubbling my lips into a smile. Walls of peeling paint reclaimed the space surrounding me. Looking down, I saw a boy on a faded blue carpet reading a children’s book. Its spine creaked. I rubbed my fingers together, knowing that the pages between his hands felt thick and rough.

“Who is she?” the boy asked, looking up.

His deep set eyes were dark blue, and seemed to laser through me as if he were decades older than he appeared.

I knew him.

Sweat awoke my senses. The world shattered, hazing into my original dream as I focused again on those eyes, copied into the dead man in front of me.

No. Ducking my hands under his arms, I slammed my palms into his chest. Splashed backward as he did, until my back collided with the wall. Cold liquid wept down my legs.

Inhaling into my constricting throat, I watched his broad, muscular chest stretch and release his T-shirt with each breath. Muscles in his neck thickened and slackened. The shadow between his open lips made them look softer somehow, a direct contrast to his strong jaw.

“What are you?” My hands found the wall behind me.

“Yours. The book. It’s all true.”

I shook my head, never taking my gaze off of him.

He raked his fingers through his short brown hair, muscles bulging at his sleeves as he looked down at the water. A sigh hissed between his teeth. “I wouldn’t lie to you, Natalia. You’re my soulmate, and we only have tonight.”

“Soulmate?”

The word humidified the air, sprinkling over me in invisible mist. Every breath heavy.

“Don’t tell me you don’t believe in soul mates.” Those blue eyes met mine again.

The child version of him, reading the same book I had, pulled at the edges of my mind. Squinting, I concentrated on the wrinkles of his T-shirt and the fine spikes of stubble on his chin as I fought to maintain focus on reality. Or whatever this was.

“No. Of course not.” Despair possessed his tone. “You’re not the type of girl who believes in the happily ever after, are you?”

I walked my hands up the wall as I straightened fully. Letting go, I batted a lock of hair from my mouth. Took a deep breath. Shook my head no.

“Soulmates exist. We exist.” Sighing, he scoured a palm over his face. “Like your ghost hunting.”

“What do you know about that?” I glanced around, failing to see ghosts, then trained my eyes on him again.

“I wasn’t at that gas station to rob or kill anyone like that paper says. I’m not a criminal, Natalia.”

“No?”

“No.” Pursing his lips, he snatched the paper from the water and crumpled it in his hands before holding it up. Water dripped down his arm. “This crap? They just want people to buy the shit. They want drama, not the truth. Know what I was really doing? Trying to stop it from happening. But they’ll never tell you that.”

I tucked my hair behind an ear, raising my eyebrows. “You were trying to stop it.”

Nodding, he sighed. Walked the newspaper into the kitchen and threw it away. He stood with his back to me, the only noise the hum of the vibrating apartment.

I opened my mouth.

Water sloshed beneath him as he tuned around. His eyes met mine, the fatigue in his face making me swallow my unspoken words.

“If you really look at people, you can see the ones in distress. There's this sallow color in their face. Some of them don’t want to do wrong, but feel they have no choice. Like stealing bread to feed your family, except strewn in all sorts of ways.”

“That doesn’t answer my question. What do you know about ghosts?”

Frowning, he gripped the kitchen counter. Leaned against it and nodded to the window. “Those people I saved? All those maybes in the obituaries... there’s a reason they’re maybes and not positives.”

All the maybes... I shook my head. No. No way.

"Natalia," he whispered, closing his eyes.

"What?"

“My whole life... I waited for you.” His voice softened, so low I could hardly hear him. “Like the book said. Like your mother told me to in my dream.”

“What?” My heart leapt. Staggering, I flung my palm flat against the cold wall again. “What about my mother?”

He sagged against the counter. “I always thought we’d get forever. And now I’m dead and get one night to love you with everything I ever was, and you won’t believe me. You don’t even want to know.”

“Darien?”

A deep red dot stained his forehead, soaking outward.

“What’s happening?”

He said nothing. Did nothing. The blood dripped down his face.

No. Fuck no.

“Darien! Snap out of it.” Shoving off the wall, I ran toward him, pushing his chest. The blood continued to pour from his forehead. He slid down the side of the wall.

Ripping my shirt off, I leaned over him. Mopped his face. Pressing the saturated cloth to his forehead, I ducked, trying to catch his gaze but saw nothing but the bridge of his nose and thick eyebrows. Streaked with blood.

"No. No, no." Glancing down, I noticed his hands hanging down at his sides, the tips of his fingers curled to his palms.

I raised my arm. Hesitated, watching his immobile body. Then reached toward him.

His fingers were cold. I threaded my fingers through them anyway, cinching them as I tried to see his face again.

“Darien.” My heart ached.

Why do I need him to respond so badly? I sighed. Hanging my head, I looked at the water lapping at our feet. Trailed my gaze up to our joined hands and let what he said run through me.

Soulmates.

His hands warmed, his fingers tightening around mine. I listened to his breathing begin again, his hot exhale tickling my neck.

“Don’t think. Don’t listen. Feel. Please.”

I looked back up into the ocean of his eyes, feeling like a thousand bees stung my heart.

“Tonight is our only chance, Natalia. We were made to be together, but if you don’t believe in this or me, I cease to exist. And that’s it for both of us.” His fingers dragged down my cheek, leaving a burning wake that surged as his touch stopped at my neck. “Open your mind.”

Something throbbed inside me, the tremble of the room rising to a quake. But his hands were steady, embracing mine. Holding me in place.

“Trust me, Natalia.”

My blood soaked shirt slipped from my grasp, my hand sliding over his face as something inside me felt like it slid into place. Tugging in a shallow breath, I felt his fingers curl around mine.

The world around us faded into the shadows of his eyes.

His childhood ran through my mind, growing and changing throughout the years. I saw him as an older kid, getting back a “C” paper, and I felt the memory of his disappointment. Then scene changed to him as a teenager. Quicker eyes and less pudge around his features. He crouched over an older man, shaking the unmoving body and begging him to wake up.

The visions passed, the memory fading into a washed out convenience store. A Caucasian male, fifties. A cigarette box was in his weathered hand as he turned around. His bushy salt and pepper eyebrows rose, his mouth dropping open under the canopy of his graying mustache.

A lanky African American boy stood in front of Darien. Leveled the muzzle of a gun to the older man' face.

“No!” The sound burst out of Darien before he could think.

The barrel swung in his direction, the face of a teenager looking back at him. His wide, dark eyes jumped back and forth between the clerk and Darien. The gun trembled.

Darien put up his hands. “Don’t do this, man. It’s not you.”

The gun at Darien’s hip weighed on him, but I could feel that he didn’t want to draw it. It was too late--he’d been too surprised and had trusted the kid to make the right decision. Sweat slicked his armpits.

Time seemed to slow and narrow down to the pulse in his temples. It was feeling he knew the kid was probably sharing. Human to human. Life to life.

“Marquim, you will regret this. You aren’t this guy, man.”

Those young eyes widened further. His jaw worked, Adam’s apple bobbling in swallow.

A taller, thin man stepped up behind him. “It’s for yo’ family. Mothafucka, fuck this bitch. Be a fuckin’ man and waste him.”

The gun muzzle steadied. The kid’s eyes narrowed.

Darien’s hand flew to his own weapon.

A spark flashed in his face. An echoing blast. Blinding. Deafening. Warmth radiated from crushing pain. His fingers and toes went cold. Then everything fell into darkness, the connection with his body severed.

Fate.

The word spread through my marrow as his memory swirled into a tumbling crimson fog. He cascaded through its tunnel, blinded by red-orange flashes until the free fall slowed. Resistance fought back, harder and harder the further he went, constricting his soul. But it only propelled his determination.

Fate. Love.

With one last push of willpower, he floated into a weightless womb. Reborn free, into an overpowering feeling of love.

Darien’s grip on my hands tightened, strength funneling through his fingers and into the lines of mine. As if he were anchoring me to reality even as I fell through his memory.

Colors ribboned through the abyss, manifesting into the long and short lines of my bedroom. Sunlight strained through the blinds and I heard a groan.

Me. Brown hair a snarled mess, I’d slapped the alarm and clasped my hands over my eyes.

Recognition and euphoria exploded through the echo of Darien’s spirit.

“It was the first time I saw you. I felt like I’d known you forever, but I know you more now. I know your hatred of this job, your ache for a real life of your own. And how sunlight traps the aura hiding in your skin.”

Blinking away his memories, I refocused on his face. That crooked nose. The rosy color of his lips. Blue-violet eyes.

The blood had disappeared.

Joy rushed my hands.

“I felt like I died without a chance. Instead, I was sent to you.” He shook his head, his gaze on my mouth. “You’re everything. Just everything. I don’t know if my death was fate or a random occurrence. All I know, Natalia, is that I belong to you. My spirit, my love. You are my fate and my choice.”

Choking on a gasp, I searched his face. Then looked around us. Water parted around us and rushed, waves crashing into the walls of old paint and soot. Extraordinary in the ordinary, a dream without the threat of tempestuous spirits.

This is unreal.

“It is, but it isn’t,” he said. “Just like our dreams.”

I looked up at him. “Were you like me?”

“No.” A hand released mine, his fingers cradling my face. “Mostly, they found me in their dreams at the crossroads of their lives. Until a few nights ago, I was always successful.”

“Until a few nights ago.”  The words rang in my mind over and over. Closing my eyes, I shook my head, pushed the thought down, and concentrated on his words.

“You said ‘mostly.’”

Silence.

Furrowing my brow, I met his gaze again.

Darien pushed himself to his feet. Bent down to take my hands in his and helped me up. Looking down at me, he brushed flyaway hair from my face. “It only happened once. It was a fluke. Never happened again. Just what I said. Their crossroads.”

Every part of me wanted to lean into his touch, allow my body to be consumed by his love and affection. But I released his hand. Stepped back.

“You pled with me to trust you, to let you in, but you won’t do the same for me?” I shook my head, trying to measure my words before speaking them. “That’s not the way love works, even with just one night.”

“That isn’t important. Please trust me on that. Natalia...” Taking a step forward, he again reached for my hand.

“No.” I put my palms out, stopping him.

He searched my eyes.

“There’s no room for secrets. Not with me. Not tonight.”

His mouth closed, pursing with the strain of his face. A grunt overcast his sigh as he turned around to walk toward the window. Leaning at the side of it, he looked out at the city.

I watched his T-shirt expand and contract over his shoulder blades with every breath and remembered walking in on him at the bookcase. His back had been to me then too, like he couldn’t face me yet. It felt like another lifetime ago, but it was the same man.

Preparing himself for something.

My arms dropped to my sides. “Darien, talk to me. Trust me.”

His head dipped. Shook side to side.

Blackness stole my sight. I froze, curling my fingers into fists. Straightening my posture, I dug my fingernails into my palms. Focused on the pain and the rigidity of my spine to keep reality in check.

I knew the feel of his memories now.

The night faded into another night. Another dream. Red orbs hovered around him, only one with a face. It was the man Darien had been trying to wake up in a previous memory, but now the orb stabbed through the center of his chest.

Darien’s heart felt like it was being squeezed and torn through his sternum. A burning feeling raced through his veins, boiling in his palms.

Familiarity flooded through me. I knew that feeling.

He brought his hands up, flames churning and crackling from his palms. His muscles ached, body weak and failing. Just moving his arms was like trying to lift two cars, until the fireballs arched together in an inferno inside the orb. The fire raced through the sky, infecting the other ghosts, but Darien could only hear the scream of the dead in front of him as the man died yet again.

The flames from his palms extinguished but the burning recoiled, racing back inside of him. Betrayal filled his heart. Hate. Fear. The urge to destroy.

“No.” A woman’s voice, gentle and calm. Something warm and soft rested on his forearm. Her hand. “Fight it.”

As white heat blinded him, a gentle glow fought his singeing soul. Slowly, it made its way through, lifting the veil to his sight and healing the teeth of hate poisoning his heart. A woman’s face, angular and dark but soft with beauty, appeared before him.

My mother.

The memory faded and I was once again looking at his back. Clutching my chest, I gulped a lungful of air.

“He was my father. Part of him, that thing he became... It’s inside me still. Like a seed of hell.”

As I stared at his turned back, I remembered the way his blue eyes tinted violet, as if mixed with the crimson red of demonic ghosts.

“And you fight it.” I took a deep breath, letting the oxygen strengthen me. Straightened taller on exhale. “You fight it every day, just like my mom told you to.”

His only answer was a slight nod. He sighed.

“That’s when you began to have the dreams, isn’t it? At their crossroads?”

“Yeah. Because I’m a tainted soul myself.”

Walking toward him, I stopped just beside his elbow. Rested my hand on his back. “Darien, if you were that tainted, you wouldn’t be here. Not like this.”

“Yeah.”

I followed his gaze. The night sky owned our half of the world, its ancient reign warring the twinkles of electricity dotting the city. Television cast flashing beacons from a handful of windows. The brightness of the stars was dimmed by the electric mist, caught in the web of light pollution.

Out of the thousands of people out there, how many lives has he saved?  I wondered.

“How many have you?” His thoughts entered my mind, making me look into his eyes again.

He turned to face me. Tucked my flyaway hair behind my ear, then circled my waist. Tightening his arms around me, he pulled my hips meet his. His fingers rested at the small of my back.

I traced the dip between his chin and lips. Reached up. He closed his eyes as I trailed my fingers down the soft skin of his forehead. Over his eyelashes and onto the diagonal slope of his cheekbones.

“Jesus, Darien.” My fingers slid down his neck and onto his broad shoulders. Squeezed his biceps. “You’re real. This is happening.”

A buoyancy filled me, though heavy at the fringes. Love. His love, his heart, echoed in my chest.

He opened his eyes and smiled. “Natalia... I want to make love to you and hold you until you fall asleep. Real sleep. Deep and peaceful. Like you did before you had to battle spirits in your dreams.”

Dizzy, I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned forward, putting my head to his chest. Real sleep. What would that feel like?

He rubbed my back. “I want to give you everything. I wish I could give you a life with me, but this... being with you and being able to promise you a night of peace... that’s something I couldn’t do alive.”

“No regrets.” Pulling away, I skimmed my thumb over his lower lip. “No what ifs. We live in tonight.”

“Yeah,” he whispered.

He leaned down at the same time I rose on my tiptoes. I closed my eyes. His satin soft lips pillowed against mine. Lingered, then his mouth opened. The tip of his tongue slipped along my lips like a gentle question. Opening, I accepted his deep thrust and massaged his tongue with my own.

I pressed closer. His swollen erection ground against my mound as my soaked panties slid along my coated labia. Moaning, I lowered to the balls of my feet, hands clasped at the back of his neck.

He broke away. His gaze fixed on my throat, followed in seconds by his lips.

Tilting my head, I closed my eyes to drown in the euphoria of his mouth. The heat of his body. I grasped his head, his hair racing past my fingers as he moved. My eyes vacillated from open to closed, everything hazy. Above us, the white popcorn ceiling shuddered, then surged into a swirl of filmy translucence.

“Your neck.” He gasped between kisses. “So slender. Soft. So. Fucking. Beautiful.”

He crouched. His hands slid down my body and tucked under my ass. Hoisted me off my feet. Linking my wrists behind his neck, I let my fingers drape over the smooth flesh between his shoulder blades. He focused past me, water splashing below us as he walked us into my bedroom. Bliss bubbled inside me as I stared into his deep, blue-violet eyes.

I’ve never known true happiness until now.

Darien’s stride broke. He glanced at me. “I know what you mean.”

Reverence stretched around each consonant and vowel, gathering with my own only to pour through my flesh. He set me on the side of my creaking bed and pulled his hands from under me. Kneeling between my legs, he stroked delicate figure eights onto my thighs as he surveyed my skin.

“Exquisite.” The dancing helixes in his pupils twinkled as he looked up at me, then gleamed over my legs with his gaze.

Too weak to sit up, I dropped back on the bed. Stared at the gauzy ceiling.

Kisses whispered to the skin on my inner knees and trailed their way up. My body convulsed, abs contracting, begging me to pull up with every ascending kiss. I sucked in anxious breaths. Back arching, I drew up on my elbows and peered down.

He looked up at me, lines driving into his forehead as his lips opened and tongue slicked my skin. “I want to give you everything. The best of everything, and more.”

I knew every shadow and beam of goodness in his heart. Everything that made him human, and all that made him more than that. I knew it in my marrow: We were made for each other.

“Jesus, Natalia. Yes.” Darien’s words breathed against my skin.

He felt that. He felt what I did. It was as if the blood in my body surged to new levels, maxing out the width of my vessels and adding electricity to every synapse of my nerves.

His lips pressed against me, nose nodding along my thigh as his face moved forward. Warm hands eased between my knees, urging my legs wider. The halo over his skin flickered high, the air buzzing. Looking up at me, his indigo eyes swirled with glittering plum colored helixes.

Curling my toes against the mattress, I lifted my pelvis. His fingers hooked at the waistband of my shorts and slid them off my ass, watching me relax against the bed again before slipping my panties and shorts down my legs.

He watched my face as he tugged one last time, pulling the fabric from my toes. Caressing my heel, his hot breath soaked my foot. Hovering over them, he took the last three toes into his warm mouth.

“Oh, God!” I whispered, my body seizing.

His tongue molded to the curve of my toes. It seemed like all the blood inside me rushed toward his lips with every sweep of his tongue.

I rose further, abs burning, breath eluding my gasp. I felt my jaw tremble with every pull of his mouth. Every shift of his fingers. Until they skimmed up my calf as he leaned forward. His palms slipped to the sides of my hips, tucking under my ass and hauling me toward him.

Friction heated my ass seconds before his open mouth descended on my pussy, tongue slipping between my vulva as his lips pulled the kiss closed. Again and again, slipping and sliding over every part of my slit.

Then he nudged my clit.

My legs jerked, fireworks exploding from the apex of my thighs to the tip of my toes. Breaths shredded in my throat.

Pulling away, he tore his shirt over his head. His violet-gold halo sizzled around his skin.

Love dilated my heart, red hot lava coursing through my veins and steaming my flesh. His. Mine. All of it melted into his tongue on my clit, his fingers penetrating my pussy and sliding in deep. They backed out, only to thrust forth again. Over and over.

“I want you to know you are loved every day of your life.” Darien’s fervent thoughts ripped through me.

My right arm shook under the strain and collapsed. Grasping his thrusting wrist, I wilted to the side, drawing up him toward me.

He broke away, painting heat on my pussy with every panting breath. “Natalia?”

I tugged his hand in jerking blasts. Settled his palm around my breast before reaching for his torso. My fingers drifted over his smooth flesh, urging him forward without being able to hook onto him enough to pull him to me.

His eyes seemed to flash, casting their golden violet light over my skin. He was focused on my face, body immobile.

“I need you. On me. In me. I need to be immersed in you, your warmth, your scent...” My words seemed like whimpers and the desperation made my chest ache.

Darien stood, his chiseled chest looming over me. Flipping open his fly, he shoved his jeans down. Straightened. He kicked the pants off each foot, thick erection bouncing. The bed dipped as he walked his hands forward, his body over mine.

Mere inches away, he eased to his elbows, cock sticking against the wet slip of my pussy. Licked his lips and fingered a stray lock of hair behind my ear.

“You’re glittering,” he murmured.

I am? I glanced down, facing the golden halo of my skin, bursting and retracting light like an erratic pulse.

Static crackled around us as I looked up at him again. Wrinkles tented his pinched eyebrows. Worry poured from his heart as he traced a thumb over my lower lip.

“Is that a bad thing?” I cupped his face, stroked his light stubble. “The two of us glittering together?”

He met my gaze again, his fear settling into determination. Lips thinning, he shook his head. “We belong together.”

I sucked in a breath, the tips of my nipples grazing his chest.

“Tonight is ours, right, Darien? You’re mine.”

“Yeah. And you’re mine. Move up a little, Natalia.”

Sliding my elbows behind me, I rose. Felt our breath mix, pooling into a warm mist between our mouths. I brushed his lips with mine. Lingered on the brink of his pout. Arms straining, I lifted my ass from the sheets below and slipped further up the bed, releasing his lip before lowering back down.

Darien's neon purple eyes flashed. He lowered himself over my body until his tongue circled my nipple, followed by the clasp of his lips.

“Oh.” My back arched, hands fluttering around his shoulders and hair. “Oh, God.”

His answer was to flick my nipple faster, grazing his teeth alongside it. He sucked harder, teasing me firm, and pulling away until his lips smacked together. Smiling, he placed a kiss on the hard nub.

I shook my head and seized his ribcage, the bit of underarm hair tickling my thumbs as I pulled. He chuckled, his ribs protruding and retracting against my splayed fingers.

“Darien.” Jutting out my hips, I writhed against his abdomen. Slicked against the wet tip of his cock. “Please. Please.”

His head wrenched to the side, shining eyes dilated. One knee dipped into the mattress. Then the other. He knee walked up, fitting between my legs with his chest hovering just above me.

I tightened my thighs around him. Felt the warmth of his body against the insides of my knees, and stretched my arm down between us. Finding his warm, thick shaft, I slid my palm forward until the lip of it bumped my hand. Darien threw his head back, closing his eyes and sighing as I slid his cockhead up and down my slit. I fit it to my entrance, folding my legs around his ass and squeezing, urging his head inside.

“Oh, fuck.” I felt the strain on the middle of my neck as I arched my back.

He sank deeper inside me, spreading me like never before, and stopping only when his balls pressed against my ass. I clutched his arms, my pussy pulsing around him.

“You okay?”

Nodding, I licked my dry lips and cupped his face in my hands. Let the stubble rake my palms as I gazed into his eyes. “You’re perfect.”

He leaned down, lips meeting mine in a closed, soft kiss. Again and again, each kiss opening further. I lost track of my breathing. Lost track of everything. He pulled back from me only to surge inside again and I was lost.

Tongue caressing tongue, lips to lips, flesh to flesh. Heat scorched my pussy with every long thrust, blazing through my pelvis only to leave my body through every exhale until I could no longer control my lips.

Gasping, I broke away. Sucked in the cool air over his shoulder. Everything was hot. So hot, wet, swollen. I glanced down to see the muscles of his back flexing as he fucked me. Slowing his thrusts, his hand swept over my skin, brushing my nipple to squeeze my breast, then leaned down to suck it.

“Darien.”

I curved into him, wanting to meld with his body and live soul to soul.

“Natalia.” Raising from my breast, he kissed my lips again. “Yes.”

His lips brushed the word onto my mouth, like every part of him seeded inside my cells. Bit by bit, the enormity of love welded into my body, feeding the strength building in my marrow and flushing my skin.

We were indestructible, glittering with every movement and riding hard on the sharp edge of life, death, and bliss.

Darien’s hand slid down my body until his fingers found my slippery clit as he pounded harder inside me.

The scream seemed to come from the depth of everything I was. Limbs thrashing, every grasp a flail, I squeezed tight on his cock. Pleading for him to stay, praying for his love forever and begging for his sperm.

“Fuck, Natalia, oh fuck!” Slamming inside me, his cock bucked, exploding hot cum that seemed to sear to the crux of my body and soul.

I reared up, my pussy swallowing every inch of his shaft, labia pressing against his pelvis. His growl tore through my cries as we spasmed together in the heat of everything that had ever felt right.

He sank down, burying his face into my shoulder. Legs wrapped around his hips, I clutched his cock with my pussy and circled my arms around his torso. Felt his heart beat against my breasts.

“I love you,” I murmured.

His chest heaved against mine, sweat sticking to our skin.  “I love you.” 

Seconds passed.

I turned my head, felt his hair at my lips. Kissing him, I opened my eyes. Blinked the haze away.

My apartment had disappeared around us. The ceiling, the walls. It was all open sky and twinkling stars, save for the translucent red-pink blobs. The cloud-like red orbs floated to where the corner of the room should’ve been. Huddled together, their neon color brightened like a surge of electricity.

“No!”

A thousand unseen knives stabbed my belly. I cried out, holding my abdomen as Darien sat up.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t--” I moaned, rolling to the side as little slivers jabbed through my insides.

The red glow thickened, spilling into the room. Darien turned, looking up at the blobs and shielding his eyes. “Fuck.”

Another wave of imaginary knives assaulted me.

Then vanished.

When I blinked the tears from my eyes, Darien was standing in front of me. His skin beamed, fighting off the red glare. Past him, the blobs sharpened into faces and bodies without eyes or tongues, blurry at the edges of their beings.

“Darien.” My voice was small and shaky. Pitiful. For a moment, I hoped he hadn’t heard me.

A surge of love warmed my heart, my own golden halo circling my body again as he turned around. Falling to his knees, he took my hands in his. “I thought we’d have more time.”

“They’ve never come after me before. Why now?” I moaned, clutching my stomach and the echo of pain. “Dammit, why now?”

The beam around us suddenly flared red. He clasped my fingers tighter. The echo of his pain broke my heart.

“Darien,” I whispered. Curling my fingers around his, I tugged him toward me, but he remained on the floor.

“They want to kill you, Natalia, and take our child.”

Cold gusted through my veins. I couldn’t feel my lips as I opened my mouth. Gaped. “Our child?”

He kissed my hand again and finally met my gaze. The heat of his purple helixed eyes scorched my heart even as the rest of me froze.

“You came here to impregnate me.” Wrenching my arms back, I tried to pull away from his grasp to no avail. “You lied to me!”

“No! No, Natalia, listen to me! Feel my heart, feel everything I feel. You already know that’s not true! I fucking love you!” He dragged my hands toward him, pressing my palms against his sweaty sternum.

Desperation and love saturated my body. My arms jerked, trying to shove him away again. But they were weak, my anger sliding.

“I love you,” he murmured, his voice breaking. “I fucking love you.”

Grief tore through me, hot tears blinding my eyes as I tried to see his face. Blinking them away, I tried to wrap my head around what he said. “They’re going to take our child?”

“No. No, this I can promise you. They won’t take her.”

Her.

That strength. I felt it with every inhale. Stronger with each passing moment. My face felt tight. Wasted and cold. I pressed my hand against my flat belly.

Baby girl?

The strength seemed to flex within me, and I knew it was her. My daughter.

Our halo burned, bowing inward. I tasted blood.

Focusing on Darien, I felt his concern and compassion. His fear. I glanced back at the faces carved in red in the corner of what should’ve been my bedroom. Rolling over, his hands still clasped in mine, I sat on the side of the bed.

“What are we going to do?”

“There’s no ‘we.’”

The words were so low, I wasn’t sure I heard them right. I cocked my head, catching his eyes. “What do you mean, there’s no ‘we’?”

“I’m going to take care of them.” He swiped his pants from the floor, bent over, and tugged them on. Then he looked back at me. “I love you. I wish, with everything I am and ever was, that I could be with you for the rest of both of our lives. I need you to know that.”

“Darien...”

“Do you understand how much I love you? And how much I wish I could stay here, for you and our daughter? To love you both with everything pure inside me, and to protect you with everything I’m made of?”

Loss strangled my heart. My lips wouldn’t work, my body couldn’t function.

“Dammit, Natalia.” He dropped to his knees in front of me, his lavender eyes surging with white fire. “Tell me you know, tell me you believe me. More than anything, I need that. Please.”

“Don’t go.”

His face crumpled. He bowed his head. “If I could plan it all, I’d give you better than this. But now is all we have. Believe me. Please, baby. Believe me.”

I felt the longing inside him. The resolve, his protectiveness. My heart ached, my mind a wasteland. “I believe you.”

“You deserve more than me. More than this.” Eyebrows knitted, his gaze raised to mine.

Squinting around my searing eyes, I looked over his face. Those gorgeous eyes, the full lips, high cheekbones. The bit of stubble peeking over his jaw. Committed everything to memory.

“You’re everything I could want.”

A smile danced over his mouth before his lips met mine in a soft tango, breaking only as he stood. “I’m forever yours, even from afar.”

“I wish...” My nose flared, the jagged rock in my throat inflaming my eyes again. “Don’t go.”

His expression was a million lines I couldn’t read. “I wish too.”

Soul mates.

“Yeah.”

Redness surged in quakes around us. Water sprayed my thighs, the waves in its wake painting a glistening line where the walls of the apartment should have been. I fisted the fitted sheet below me, pulling my legs up and straining to stay on the shaking mattress. Held on tight.

Anger ignited inside me as I looked up at the orbs.

They were shadows of the normal ghosts I fought, but they were just as evil. I felt it in my bones.

Fuck this.

Turning over onto my hands and knees, I crawled, half-falling in the quakes, to the nightstand at the head of the bed. The onyx lined opal hilt of my mother’s athame glittered from the open drawer.

I lunged, curling my fingers around the handle. The knots of metal burned with power, adding whiter light to the halo surrounding Darien and I. Quaking diminished back to tremors.

Darien reached for my hand. Wrapped his fingers around mine. He tightened my grip on the handle as his glowing eyes seemed to pierce through me. “You are a warrior, Natalia. You’re brave and fierce. Save your power.”

The burn of anger inside my chest blew out, our halo dimming to its original sheen. Staggering, I gripped his outstretched arm as the echo of his anguish drove through me.

“No.”

“I am already dead.” The words were like gravel. “I won’t let you join me.”

“Darien,” I whispered.

“I’ll love you forever.” His lips met my forehead. Closing my eyes, I leaned into his kiss.

A crack ripped through the room like a bolt of lightening and the pressure of his mouth and the warmth of his body disappeared.

I stumbled forward, braced my fall against the hard wood floor as my athame clattered next to me. Pain screamed from my palms, but I stared at the floor.

Wood. Not water. I glanced to the side. The wall stood intact next to me. Looking up the wavering glitter of the sheer curtains, I saw the window was pushed open, the stars blinking down in the abyss of dark sky.

“Natalia.”  The thought, encased in Darien’s voice, wrapped my body in love.

I clawed my way to the window, raising on my knees as I clutched the sill. A brilliant light wove across the sky, dusting it with jagged streams of red-tinged green and yellow smoke. The colors breathed over the night, the incandescence lightening my heart with hope.

“Darien,” I pled to the sky.

The colors shifted, eking forward as if fanning toward me. “My heart is with you always.”

Trembling, I pressed a hand to my chest. The screaming silence of the night ticked away, replaced with crickets and the occasional growl of a car motor. But the second voice in my head was no more, the echo of Darien’s mind settling into memory.

Until I felt the echo of something else.

It was like a gentle strumming of every blood vessel I had, building into a flush of warmth that settled into my belly.

Our baby. Our little girl.

It’s real. Everything is real.

Clasping my hands over my trembling mouth, I blinked through tears, searching the sky for the father of my child and a love that would always be a dream. A whimper escaped my throat, pushing past the gate of my fingers to join the painted night.

Sniffling, I batted tears from my eyes and swallowed. Took a few shaky breaths as I focused on the shimmer of smoke above. I slipped a hand over my belly, the other drifting back to the sill.

“Aurora,” I whispered. “I’m naming her Aurora.”

Twists of gold tinged with the blue-purple color of Darien’s eyes paved my skin, linking up my arms and over my chest, dust sprinkling the air. I recognized some of the repeating patterns, things I’d seen on my own mother’s arms when she held me during my nightmares.

My inner wrist burned. Turning it over, I saw my daughter's name loop over my veins and disappear. The halo sparked over my skin like a reminder of Darien’s protection.

A crimson glow flashed outside the window. Snapping up a ball of flame, I flung it at the body of the ghost. The red orb went up in flames, disintegrated into golden ash, and spread over shadows, gliding into the planes of the burning sky.

I exhaled, breathing out the tension in my body. Watched the colors outside flex and let peace rinse my spirit. I smiled, my hand drifting back to my belly.

Whatever came my way, I had no regrets.