I shook like a leaf as I hid in a stand of thick bushes. Eric Cross walked slowly across the playground in front of me, his dark eyes darting about. He was dressed, as always seemed to be the case, in tattered jeans and a t-shirt for some metal band. He was not someone I wanted to meet when I was alone. The guy had at least one conviction for assault that I knew of and probably some minors to boot.

Eric and his ilk, along with the general homophobia of my small Ontario hometown, kept me in the closet back in the eighties. The very existence of gay teens like me seemed to provoke Eric, as if we threatened him in some way. At seventeen years old, I had only recently started to come to terms with my orientation and had no interest in exposing myself to that kind of abuse.

The bully did not seem to notice me. I hoped it stayed that way.  There was no reason to believe he knew about my orientation. I was only out to my friend Mike, who was himself wrestling with being bisexual. Still, Eric had taunted and pushed me around enough times for other reasons to make me avoid him when at all possible.

As I watched, I realized something strange. Eric looked nervous, maybe even afraid. The brusque self-confidence that normally marked his facial expression and movements was gone. Instead, he seemed like a naughty schoolboy caught in some misdeed.

An older man, perhaps my Dad’s age, entered the park from the South. When he saw Eric, the man smiled and walked towards him. Eric returned the smile, his nervousness seeming to fade a bit. He walked to meet the newcomer. They ended up very close to my position. I merged deeper into the bushes but made sure I could still see what was happening.

“Good boy. You’re even on time for once,” the man said, his voice just audible from my position.

“Thank you, sir,” Eric replied in a hushed tone.

The man stroked Eric’s face tenderly. Then, to my shock, he leaned in and kissed the bully. It was a protracted kiss, apparently with lots of tongue. I had recently kissed Mike that way for the first time and found it incredibly arousing. After kissing Eric, the man put his hands on the bully’s shoulders and forced him to his knees.

Eric bowed his head and waited obediently as the man unzipped his slacks. He pulled out a lovely cock that had my own mouth watering. I suddenly felt strangely jealous of Eric.

“Now,” the man commanded.

Eric said nothing, simply took the man’s cock in his fingers and guided the head to his lips. The teen kissed the tip, then wrapped his lips around the head and began sucking. I was stunned. Was I really seeing a gay-bashing bully give head to a man? It seemed like some kind of freaky dream.

“Deeper,” the man said. He drove his cock further into Eric’s mouth. Eric looked like he was about to puke but seemed to get it under control.

By this point, I had undone my pants to get my right hand down to my cock. It was hard and I began playing gently with it as I watched. Sheer lust had overcome my fear of discovery.

“Jesus Christ, boy, you’re fucking good at this,” the man finally roared. His body rocked, clearly in the throes of a climax.
Eric barely flinched, diligently swallowing the man’s load. When he finished, he released his partner’s cock and sat back.

“You were good today,” the man said softly, tousling Eric’s hair, “My house is available on Friday. Come at noon. You know what to prepare.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir,” Eric responded, hanging his head.

Eric remained kneeling as the man zipped up. Only after the man had turned and started walking away did Eric rise and walk away in a different direction.

As he walked away, I climaxed. There was no time to get my pants down so I soaked my underwear in cum. Somehow, I suppressed any noise beyond a gasp. Eric was just about at the park’s Eastern exit anyhow, too far to hear anything.

That night, I fell asleep wondering what would happen at the man’s house. Then I dreamt of Eric kneeling in front of me and sucking me off. I awoke as my cock erupted.

“Are you fucking serious?” Mike gasped when I told him what I had seen in the park.

We were laying on my bed talking and cooling down after playing basketball on my driveway. It was a warm, lazy Sunday afternoon a few days after the incident in the park. My parents had driven to a neighbouring town with friends from church and would not be home until dinner time.

“Quite,” I replied.

“And Eric swallowed the guy’s cum?”

“He did.”

“Fuck, wow.”

“That’s just between us, though, okay? If word gets out and Cross traces it back to us…" I warned, knowing I didn’t need to finish.

Mike nodded.

“Did it turn you on? Seeing two men doing that?” he asked.

“Came in my pants,” I confirmed.

My friend reached out and massaged the bulge in my gym shorts.

“Do you want to try doing it?” Mike said in a soft, suggestive tone.

My friend and I had made out and jerked each other off a few times already but hadn’t gone further.

“Sucking cock?”

“Yeah. What else?”

I grinned and slid my shorts down, letting that be my answer. Mike did the same and we were soon naked. He caressed my cock and pressed his mouth to mine. As our tongues explored each other, I found his cock with my hand and stroked it.

“Ready?” he said after a few minutes of kissing and stroking.

“Go for it.”

I lay on my back and opened my legs. Mike got down between them. Tentatively, he kissed the head of my cock.

“Nervous?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“Just do it. I’m sure it’ll be good.”

He flashed me a smile, then wrapped his lips around the base of my cock’s head. After gently sucking a bit, Mike tentatively took more of me into his mouth. As he sucked, his tongue explored me.

“How does it feel?” he asked after a few minutes.

“Terrific,” I answered, “Warm and wet.”

“Want to try me?” Mike asked.

I thought for a minute.

“I’ll bet we can do it to each other,” I mused.

“How?”

I slid down lower on the bed.

“Get over my face backwards with your cock over my face. If you get down, your face should be close to my cock.”

Mike grinned and assumed the requested position. I wasted no time, quickly taking him into my mouth.  Nervous but eager, I gave his cock a few tentative licks, then tried sucking it. He returned to doing the same on my cock. We soon had a nice rhythm going as we sucked each other. I don’t think either of us had actually heard of a sixty-nine yet, it just seemed to be the logical way we could share the experience.

As I sucked Mike, my hands were on his ass. I caressed and kneaded his buttocks, even touched his crack. From reading, I had discovered the existence of anal sex but wasn’t sure either of us was ready to try that. Still, there was a thrill in even touching Mike’s bum.

Suddenly, my friend’s mouth left my cock. I guess I should have realized that was a warning.

“Oh shit,” he gasped at the same time as my mouth and throat filled with his cream.

I struggled to swallow it and somehow avoided both gagging and choking. Releasing him, I lay back. His cock dangled over me, dripping down onto my face.

Mike returned to my cock, redoubling his efforts and taking me further into his mouth. Another couple minutes of that and he was the one swallowing a load as I climaxed with a gasp and a shudder. He kept at me until I was drained, then turned around and lay alongside me. We kissed, then lay there letting the bliss of the moment wash over us.

“God, I feel good,” Mike whispered.

“Me, too.”

We kissed some more, then pulled the covers over our naked bodies and cuddled until close to dinner time. Finally, knowing my parents would be home soon, I reluctantly ended our tryst by slipping out of bed and starting to get dressed.

I practically jumped on Monday afternoon when the lower hall of our school filled with shouts and screams. They sounded like they were coming from the atrium in front of the lunchroom. I had been on my way out, but, curious, I went for a look.

A huge male student was screaming homophobic epithets and hitting someone who was down on the floor. The guy’s name was Luke Carson but I didn’t know much more about him than that. Well, other than knowing that he was another one to avoid. I moved in closer to see who the victim was. To my shock, it was Eric Cross.

It had only been a week since that afternoon in the park. Clearly, someone else had found out his secret. I had only shared my story with Mike, who was unlikely to have divulged it to the likes of Luke.

Luke stopped punching and started kicking. Eric was in tears, trying to shield himself while others just stood by. I suspected that few people were very sympathetic, having seen Eric do the same to others in the past. But, somehow, his plight awoke something in me.

“There but for the grace of God go I,” rippled through my brain.

I dropped my books and carefully lined up my attack. If I hit Luke’s legs just right, he would probably topple like a tree. I took a deep breath and steeled myself. Pain would be involved but somehow it seemed right to do what I planned. My legs kicked into action as Luke raised one of his for another kick, putting himself off-balance.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Carson roared as he tumbled to the ground, his one supporting leg knocked out from under him by my tackle.
Stunned by my move and with the wind knocked out of him, Luke lay still even as I picked myself up. Eric got up as well. Quickly and quietly, he left the scene. Teachers had finally arrived and witnessed my actions. They stepped in. While they let a lot of bullying slide, an outright attack in the halls could not be ignored. I was limping a bit, too, but still managed to get away after giving my story.

“I just can’t stand seeing someone hurt like that, even a guy like Eric,” I explained, careful to not mention my deeper kinship with Eric.

Eric was out in the parking lot having a smoke when I finally got out of the building. He looked a bit calmer, though he jumped a little when I came out. His right eye was surrounded by black and blue.

“Thanks, man,” he said softly, “Why?”

“Because it could have just as easily been me on that floor if he knew my truth.”

Eric looked at me.

“You’re gay?” he asked, sounding surprisingly nonchalant about it.

I tensed.

“I am,” I answered, sensing that this wasn’t going to lead to a beating.

He nodded and grinned.

“I’ve suspected for a while,” he responded after a long drag on his cig, “But I kinda like you so I wasn’t going after you. How did you know about me?”

“Saw you with your friend last week. In the park. I’m not the one who told, though.”

He shook his head.

“Luke found out from Jess Porter, apparently. They’re fucking. Not sure how she learned it.”

“Want a lift home? My Dad’s away on business so I have his car,” I offered.

“Sure.”

I had never dreamt I’d be driving home with Eric Cross in my car, let alone that we’d have become sympathetic allies. We reached Eric’s place and he looked at me.

“Want to come in? No one else is home. I can reward you.”

“Reward me?”

He grinned and patted my crotch. I grinned back. If Eric gave me a blowjob or something, that would give me even more control in the relationship. And, to be honest, I had been fantasizing about him ever since witnessing the scene in the park.

Inside the house, Eric turned to me smiling. Slowly, he sank to his knees as he had with his older lover. I stared for a moment, not sure what to do. Then I clued in. I unzipped and pulled my cock out. It was already getting hard just at the thought of what was coming.

Eric wrapped his lips around the head and sucked gently. His tongue swished around my head. Slowly, he took me in deeper as my cock swelled to full size. I was almost seven inches fully erect. Yes, I had measured.

Placing my hands on Eric’s head, I played with his hair as he sucked my stiff rod. He was very good, much better than Mike had been. Privately, I wondered how long he had been pleasuring the other man. Eric’s lover had mentioned “being prepared” for a meeting at his house. Had they fucked? Suddenly, I found myself filling with desire to finally cross that line myself.

My orgasm erupted, sending my cum pouring down Eric’s throat. He swallowed it quickly and easily as I shuddered and moaned. When it ended, he let me go and got up.

“Should I do you?” I asked.

He looked at me in surprise, as if no one had offered him that before. Maybe his lover used him and didn’t give anything back.

“No. Not right now,” he said quietly, sounding almost embarrassed.

I went home after that, wondering why Eric would refuse the pleasure he had given me.

A week passed without seeing Eric. He had not been in school since the incident with Luke. Then, one morning, I found a note slipped into my locker. It was an invitation to the park where this had all began. That afternoon, I skipped last class and sat quietly on a bench waiting for Eric.

I had been tempted to skip school for a few days myself. Guess I was too diligent a student or something. There had been interviews with the principal, the cops, and a school board superintendent but things had quieted down eventually. Carson had been expelled and was facing charges so was not around to bother me.

“Hey, man,” Eric said as he dropped on to the bench beside me, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

He looked down at his feet and explained in a soft tone, “You asked if I wanted you to blow. I turned you down. That was fucking stupid. Of course, I wanted it.”

“Then why did you say ‘no’?” I asked.

Eric looked like he was going to cry for a moment.

“Because no one ever offered it to me before,” he answered, “I was in shock, I think. It’s like, I’m a fucking man slut who gives, not gets.”

“That how it is with the man?”

“It was. I’m done with him,” Eric responded, briefly sounding angry, “Waste of my fucking life that was.”
“Sorry to hear. We all make mistakes.”

I put an arm out and patted him on the back. He looked at me and smiled.

“Yeah, we do,” he sighed, “I’ve just made some really fucking bad ones. Including the way I treated people who were really just like me.”

“You mean gay guys? Like me?”

“Gay. Like you,” he confirmed, “What a fucking asshole I am.”

“You can still change. They say recognizing the problem is part of solving it.”

“Maybe. Look, Terry, I have a place we can go. For privacy.”

“Why? You want to do it with me again?” I asked, hopeful of an affirmative answer. Eric had been haunting my fantasies ever since the blowjob.

“I want you to fuck me. If you want to, that is. And I’ll definitely let you make me come this time.”

I smiled, getting nervous at the thought that my first time was imminent.

“Show the way,” I answered, feeling my cock stir, “It’ll be my first.”

“I’ll try to make it special, then.”

The place was his older brother’s apartment. His brother worked odd shifts and would be away until after midnight. Eric led me to the smaller of the two bedrooms.

“My room. I come here when I need to get away from home,” he explained.

There had been rumours of abuse in the family. Eric having a refuge with his brother seemed to confirm that something was awry.

My host stripped off his t-shirt. He was in better shape than I expected, with a smooth, lightly muscled physique. I caressed his torso, enjoying the warm, soft flesh beneath my fingers. Then I stripped off my own t-shirt.

We stared at each other for a moment, seemingly entranced. I had never thought of Eric as beautiful but now he seemed almost radiant in his beauty. Moving close, I put my arms around his bare torso and pressed my mouth to his. He responded eagerly, or so it seemed.

“No, not that,” he suddenly said, pulling away.

“Why not?”

“Kissing is about love, man. This is just about sex, isn’t it?”

“I’ve kissed other male partners,” I pointed out, careful not to mention names. I doubted that Mike wanted Eric to know about our explorations.

“It just feels wrong. I’m sorry,” Eric said, looking a bit sad.

I caressed his chest again, then leaned in and kissed his flesh.

“It doesn’t to me,” I said quietly, “We can show some affection for each other even if it is just about sex, can’t we?”

Eric stared at me as if I had dropped a stunning revelation. I realized in that moment that sex for him had probably never been about anything more than servicing his man’s cock. Perhaps he was having a first time of sorts, too.

I began to undo my jeans. Eric took the hint. We ended up dropping our pants and underwear almost simultaneously. My first sight of Eric’s cock made me smile. It was short and thick, or so it looked soft. A large scrotum dangled behind it. I was now eager to see Eric get hard.

Stepping closer, I took his cock in my hand and massaged it.

Eric watched what I was doing, then looked me in the eye. Taking my cock in his hand, he caressed me back. He was shivering and I wasn’t sure if it was cold, nerves, or excitement. Suddenly, Eric kissed me, his tongue sliding into my open mouth.

“I want to suck you,” I whispered after the kiss.

“Please,” he said, looking almost ready to cry again.

I knelt on the floor and put Eric’s cock, now half-erect, between my lips. After my encounter with Mike, I was not a total amateur, but I was still not confident about my oral skills. A strange feeling of contentment came over me as his cock swelled in my mouth and stretched towards my throat. Was this how Eric had felt sucking his man’s cock?

“Damn, that feels good,” he said in a dreamy voice, “So fucking good.”

It was not easy at that point. Fully erect, Eric’s cock was quite thick. I was glad he had asked me to fuck him and not the other way around. Taking his thickness in my virgin ass would have been a challenge.

“Shit, I’m coming,” he said with a sob.

Cum flooded my mouth and ran down my throat, almost making me gag. I got it under control and managed to swallow most of the river of thick cream.

Picking myself up, I embraced and kissed Eric. My boner was rock-hard, eager for some attention of its own. Eric stroked it with his fingers as we continued a long, lingering kiss.

“I want you in me,” he finally said.

“Then let’s do it,” I replied.

He opened a night table drawer and pulled out condoms and lube. I was nervous and excited as I watched him lay out the bed the way he wanted, with a pillow to lift his ass up a bit.

“Use your finger and lube me,” he said when he was settled in his preferred position.

This was all new to me then, but I squeezed out some lube on a finger, then slid it in.

“Yeah, man, like that,” he said, eyes half closed.

I squeezed a bead right on to his ass and worked it in with my finger again. The hole was so tight, I was getting nervous about how I would get my cock inside. I was not as thick as Eric but it seemed to me that even a skinny little dick would have trouble.

“Go ahead, that’s probably enough,” he finally instructed, “Just put some lube on after you’ve gloved.”

Eric helped me put on the condom, then I coated it with lube. I mounted my lover with my cockhead at his hole. Slowly, nervously, I penetrated him.

“Fucking hell, that’s good,” Eric moaned when I was in, “Now move back and forth. Fuck my ass.”

I did as Eric asked, enjoying the tight squeeze of his little hole around my cock. His cock stiffened again, somewhat to my surprise. Eric lubed his hand, then began to masturbate as I fucked him. That got me even more aroused.

Finally, I gave way. My body shook and I groaned loudly as my cock spasmed in Eric’s ass. It was a long, strong orgasm that left me breathless. When I finally pulled free, I quickly disposed of the condom, then lay next to Eric on the bed. He was still stroking his fully erect cock.

Smiling, I took his hand away from his cock, replacing it with my own. I lubed my hand thoroughly and began sliding it up and down his thick shaft. The thought of letting Eric fuck me crossed my mind but I was still unsure if I could handle his thickness. Moment later, Eric let out a moan and his cream poured out over my hand.

We lay side-by-side recovering for a while. Finally, Eric left and came back with a wet washcloth. He gently, almost lovingly, cleaned my cock.

“How was it, Terry?” he whispered, “Did you enjoy your first time?”

I smiled, answering, “Very much. Thank you.”

He kissed me, leading to a brief bit of making out. Then we quietly prepared to leave.

The throaty rumble of an unmuffled car engine startled me as I walked to school the next morning. I turned to see Eric driving a beat up old Chrysler.

“It’s my bro’s,” he explained, “Get in. I need to talk.”

I nodded and got in the passenger seat. We were silent as he drove out to a parking lot far away from our neighbourhood.

“I’m going,” he said when we stopped.

“Going where?”

“Toronto.”

“Why?”

“Too dangerous around here with Luke gunning for me,” he explained.

“I’m not exactly out of his sights,” I pointed out.

“You’ll be fine,” Eric said with a shrug, “Luke’s pissed at you for stopping him but it won’t last and he’s not likely to hunt you down. Me, on the other hand, he sees as a traitor. I’m fucked if I ever meet him again.”

I nodded, still not sure if I was as safe as Eric seemed to think.

He went on, “I’ve heard there’s a big gay community in Toronto. Guys who can help me find my way and give me a start. It’s a place where I can be ‘out’. Be myself.”

I sighed and looked at him. Memories of the day before flooded in.

“I’ll miss you but I get why you’re doing it,” I finally said, “I’ll probably have to move someday, too. I can’t keep this secret forever.”

“I’ll miss you, too. Yesterday was fucking awesome, man. And you’ve got a better future ahead than me. With your grades, you’ll go to university. I hear there’s more tolerance for us in places like that.”

“Just wish I could have you for company when I do.”

“You’ll find someone better, man. I’m not what you need.”

A tear ran down my cheek but no more words came. We hugged and kissed, then Eric dropped me off in a discreet location that was walking distance to school. As his car rolled away, I realized he now had hope for himself. And, maybe, so did I.