Mark and Zach left the showers. There was no conversation. Mark toweled off and quickly got dressed. He stormed toward the office hoping that Coach was still around. He approached the door and gave it a knock. He heard a voice say, “Come in, son.”

Mark walked through the door trying to figure out what he wanted to say. Just as he got ready to speak, Coach said, “I’ll bet you have a lot of questions for me right about now, huh?”

Mark jumped in, “Yeah, I do. I have a lot of questions. What in the hell is going on around here? I feel like I am being set-up and I am not going to be anybody’s pawn. Not anymore.”

Coach said, “I know that you aren’t. And that’s why I admire you. Just give me a chance to explain myself, please. Every member of this team and staff is here because they either have or had repressed homosexual urges. I recruit young men and create a safe space for them to explore their sexuality so they can leave here and have a healthy life going forward. And, sometimes, we play basketball.”

“So, I am here because you knew that I was gay? It didn’t have anything to do with basketball?” Mark asked.

“Well, to be honest, not really on both accounts. When I visited your school, I could see how deeply repressed you were. I can see it from a mile away, mostly because I have lived it. To be honest, I didn’t really know if I could help you. I thought that you might be too far gone, but I was wrong, as wrong as I have ever been about anything or anybody. You have already come further than I thought that you ever could. And, yeah, I am sorry to say that it had nothing to do with basketball, but sometimes you get lucky and stumble into a player like D.J., or Zach. I have also had some years where it was a total shit-show out there, so I’ll just sit back and enjoy the fact that I have a competent team,” Coach explained.

“I guess that I don’t understand why you do this. Why are you wasting your time trying to get a bunch of college students to explore their sexuality?” Mark asked.

Coach hesitated for a minute. He started to speak and then stopped. He began to cry and tears started to flow down his face. He was shaking visibly. “Coach, are you alright?” Mark asked nervously.

After a minute, Coach started to speak as tears continued to stream down his face, “I used to be a basketball player here, just like you. I was pretty good too. I was probably just dreaming, but I really thought that I could be a pro someday. I was also a repressed homosexual.”

“One night after we finished playing a game, I was in the showers with several of my teammates including the team captain, Mike. He was a sexy-beast of a young man, not terribly unlike your friend Zach. Unfortunately, he caught me staring at him and he called me out in the middle of the showers. I lied and tried to act like I wasn’t staring, but they knew.”

Coach was struggling to speak but he continued on, “They called me such…such horrible things. Then they all beat me down. They bound my wrists and ankles with athletic tape and…” Coach completely broke down. He was clearly unable to speak about what had happened to him, even though it was many years later.

“A janitor found me unconscious and taped to a bench the next morning. He called for an ambulance. I had several emergency surgeries that day. I had to have both of my testicles amputated from lack of blood flow from the athletic tape. My penis remains but is severely disfigured and discolored. I also had to have surgery to mend some injuries that were causing internal bleeding.”

Mark was in shock. He felt like he had just been very selfish in demanding an explanation from Coach. Mark tried to back away, “Coach, I…I had no idea. I don’t know what to say. That is fucking horrible. What did they do to them?”

Coach sighed, “They didn’t do anything to them. Back then nobody cared if some ‘queer’ took a beating. A lot of people felt that I got what I deserved. I could count on one hand the number of people that offered me encouragement. But that was many years ago. I know that people are much more accepting these days, but I also know that there is still a lot of hate in this world.”

Mark asked, “So what did you do then?”

Coach continued, “I dropped out of school and it took me more than a year to reasonably recover. When I did, I made an appointment with the athletic director here. I told him that he was going to make me the head basketball coach here, so I could make sure that nothing like that ever happens again. He fired the old coach and gave me the job, I’m sure trying to avoid a lawsuit. They give me a few scholarships to hand out every year and as long as I keep to a tight budget, they don’t pay any mind to what goes on around here. The school never made any money on the basketball program before, so they weren’t really out anything.”

“God, you must think terrible things about me and my recent…escapades,” Mark said shamefully.

“Son, you have been the greatest success that I have had in this program. You are beginning to live your life the way that you want to and that is the way that it always should be. If you feel the desire to have your bit of fun, then so be it. Just be mindful of the feelings of others,” Coach added.

Coach was shaking and still crying. Clearly, the memory of that night was still incredibly painful for him. Mark reached across the desk and held Coach’s hand. He looked Coach in the eyes and said, “So, what is it that you need from me?”

Coach said, “I need you to be the new captain of this team in every way. Zach will be leaving soon and so will Devon, D.J., and Trey. I know that you can handle this responsibility because you have already accomplished an incredible amount.”

“Are you referring to the game tonight, or…?” Mark asked.

“The game was terrific son, but that’s not the important part. When I sent Zach to tempt you the other day, I expected that you would run like a rabbit, but you didn’t. You stayed strong and let your true self emerge. Then, when the team showed up, you were emboldened with confidence. The very next day, you actually got Justin to have an interaction with you. I have tried over a dozen times to get Justin to even scratch the surface of his repression. Every time he ran. Every time…until you. Then, the very next day, Justin sought you out when he was feeling overwhelmed. But, most of all, Zach,” Coach explained.

Mark replied, “Zach, I thought that he was your captain. What do you want me to do with Zach?”

Coach answered, “Zach is like a son to me, and Zach has made progress in a lot of ways, except one. He has been tremendously giving and has really embraced his sexuality, but he will not allow himself to feel anything for other men. I owe it to him to help him before he leaves this place. I need you to show him that it is o.k. to care about somebody else. It doesn’t have to be love. That’s such an unpredictable thing. You have already gotten closer to Zach than anybody has before. That beautiful moment that you two shared just a while ago. It truly warmed my heart. It’s the kind of moment that I always wanted to have. But, my memories of that bench are a bit less pleasant.”

Mark’s face turned bright red as he asked, “Coach? Did you see that? Me and Zach?”

“Son, along with players like Devon and Zach that keep me updated on what’s going on out there, I also have a handful of video cameras around the area. I know that it isn’t exactly on the up-and-up, but it is the only way that I can be sure that you boys are kept safe,” Coach explained.

Mark added, “I am not sure how I feel about that now. Being watched like that. You aren’t just recording us for a thrill are you Coach?”

Coach responded, “Son, I have seen a lot of beautiful things, and a lot of heartbreaking things happen around here. And while I do get a fair amount of satisfaction from the good things, I don’t exactly have an outlet to get a “thrill” anymore. To be blunt, it barely is any good for pissing anymore.”

“I need some time to process all of this Coach, but I will do what I can. Just don’t ask me to do anything that I am uncomfortable with,” Mark requested.

“Son, I would never. Well, I might ask, but I would never push you to do anything that you didn’t want to do. Zach didn’t proposition you because I asked him to. He did it because he already wanted to. I just gave him an opening to do something that he already wanted to do. You know, as hunky as you might find Zach, you are just as appealing to his type. I will have to find a new hunk after he is gone, though. Hopefully, you will approve of him when that time comes,” Coach explained.

“I think that we have an understanding, Coach. I need to be going. I think that there is probably a very large hunk of a man out there waiting for me,” Mark quipped.

Coach shouted, “I am very proud of you, son!” as Mark reached the door.

Mark turned back and said, “Coach, we are all in this together,” as he shut the door.

Mark took a deep breath and headed back to the locker room. As he opened the door he found Zach sitting at the end of the bench staring at Mark’s locker. “How’d it go?” Zach asked timidly.

As Mark walked toward Zach he had no idea what he was going to say. Zach slowly stood up, clearly fearing the worst. As he neared Zach, he began to shout in a high-pitch as he stormed toward Zach, “The other day…he…sent you in here…he sent you in here…to fuck me…because…he…thought…he thought…that it was…what I…needed…and he was right.” Mark grabbed onto Zach’s shirt and pulled him down and gave him a long kiss. He placed his head on Zach’s chest and whispered “Thank you.”

After a few minutes had passed, they gathered themselves and grabbed their gym bags. They headed down the hall and as they passed Coach’s office, each of them shouted, “Thanks, Coach!”

They heard a voice shout, “Don’t be late for practice, boys!”