Letter # 2

Robert Baleful - Admissions Officer

North Dakota State College

2560 Weston Street

Cando, ND

    Re: Application of Jennifer Wakowski

Dear Mr. Baleful:

      I am a math teacher and coach of the boys' track team at Everheart Community College and I write this letter of recommendation in support of Jennifer Wakowski's application to be admitted to the social services degree program at North Dakota State.

    Jennifer has been a math student of mine for two years and served as my coaching assistant with the track team. Jennifer is a natural leader who attracts attention by her very presence. She stands out in any classroom due to both her healthy physique and her positive will-do-anything attitude. When teaching math, I often found it difficult to take my eyes off her. Even after counseling about proper school attire, her natural charisma still mesmerized her male teachers, including me.

     Although Jennifer received good grades in most of her classes, academic achievement does not come easily to her. She got A's in math, not through natural math ability, but by spending many evenings in my office receiving close-up hands-on tutoring. In those private sessions, I often worried that I was giving her more than she could swallow, but that was never the case. She is always wide open to learning and loves having new material thrust into her innocent young mind. Educating Jennifer has been one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life.

     Community college is not all about study and grades. Jennifer was as active in the social life of the school as she was in academics. At every football game, you could find her underneath the bleachers contributing to school spirit in her own special way. At homecoming, she may not have been elected queen, but she held a court of her own in the back seat of a Lexus in the parking lot, and those who she allowed a visit will remember Jennifer far longer than whoever became homecoming queen.

       As an assistant coach for the track team, Jennifer was invaluable to me. I could give her wet-behind-the-ears freshmen runners who were terrified to even be in community college and after a confidence-building trip to the woods behind the school with Jennifer, they came back competitors. I believe that for many of the boys, she was the sole reason they came out for the team.

     In conclusion, I think that Jennifer will be a welcome addition to North Dakota State. My suggestion is that you introduce Jennifer to your staff as soon as she arrives. She needs direction and discipline. Pin her down and drive home the importance of doing everything you ask of her. The harder the challenge, the better she likes it. If you do as I suggest, Jennifer will renew your love for education and remind you of the reasons you became a teacher.

 Sincerely,
 

Edgar Plowherd PhD

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Letter # 3

Director

Parks and Recreation

1234 SW Fifth Street

Everheart, North Dakota

Dear Director of Parks and Recreation:

    My name is Adam Longenfirm. I am a widower, and for ten years I have gardened at Plot Seven of the community garden in the Everheart City Park. The community garden is across the street from my home, and I have grown wonderful foods there over the years. For the last decade, the gardens have been tended by several widow ladies and myself.

    This spring a German woman named Agnes Hangensway moved into the neighborhood and reserved the garden plot next to mine. Mrs. Hangensway is a large healthy woman who lives alone, and at first I welcomed her warmly to the neighborhood and the community garden. But all has not gone well, and the garden is not as it once was.

    After I made the acquaintance of Ms. Hangensway, I noticed that every time I went out to work on my garden, she would come out of her house and start working on her plot. The problem was that Mrs. Hangensway had taken to wearing clothes that were increasingly inappropriate for gardening. I noticed it first a few weeks ago when she was on her hands and knees pulling weeds. She was not wearing a brassiere and had her shirt unbuttoned almost to the waist. Needless to say, this allowed anyone close to her an unobstructed view of her breasts. It was not inadvertent on her part. I know because she would wink at me and say that she never planted any melons because she already had plenty of melon, and I knew she wasn't talking about the kind of melons one grows in a garden.

    Then last week she came to do her gardening in a summer dress that was just as open in the front, but in addition, exposed her ample derriere every time she bent over. And she bent over a lot. In the dress she would get on her hands and knees facing away from me, and when she knew I was looking she would wiggle her behind. Just as she does not wear a brassiere, she does not wear underpants, so I could not help but see her buttocks and her privates. She would look over her shoulder and tell me how it had been a long time since there was a man around to plow her field, so these days she relied for companionship on the cucumbers she grew there in the garden. Once again, I knew she was talking about more than growing vegetables.

     About two weeks ago I went out to the garden in the evening to check for rabbits. I was surveying the garden when I was assaulted from behind by Mrs. Hangensway. She reached her hand down my pants, grabbed my penis, and said to do what she said or my prize cabbages would never make it to harvest. I was terrified for myelf and for my cabbages. She pulled down my pants and, dropping to her knees, took my penis in her mouth until it was hard. Then she pulled me down on top of her, and, calling me her Big Zucchini, pulled me inside her. I had little choice but to satisfy her lustful desires -- twice -- right there in the strawberries. When it was over, I staggered home, dirty and exhausted.

     The next day there was a thank you note and a casserole on my front porch. I went to the garden with trepidation because I could see that Mrs. Hangensway was not there. But the Italian lady, Gina Labitititti, and the Swedish lady, Helga Nockerson, were both there tending to their plants. They came over, both of them wearing much more revealing clothes than they had ever worn in the past, and questioned me at length about my zucchini. They would not leave me alone until I had visited both of them and paid them the same attention that I had given to Mrs. Hangensway.

     Since then I have not been able to garden at all without being besieged by widows. Mrs. Hangensway is always at my plot. I have more casseroles than I could ever eat, and I am constantly exhausted.

     I believe it is the duty of the Parks Department to put a stop to this. The garden is an absolute mess. Plants have been crushed, weeds allowed to grow, and articles of clothing litter the rows. A simple man should be allowed to tend his community garden without being harassed at every turn by Mrs. Hangensway and her insatiable widow friends.

    I think it incumbent upon your agency to immediately post a sign stating that the garden is for growing plants only, and is not to be used for carnal purposes, with violators prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. If you do that, I will monitor the garden, and report back if the sign succeeds in making the community garden a place of peace and serenity once again.

  Anticipating your prompt reply

Adam Longenfirm