"Anal, anal, anal. That's all my now ex-boyfriend, Rick, wanted from me," Scarlet, my best friend since the beginning of high school, complained to me about.

"I'm really sorry to hear that, Scarlet. It sounded like he didn't respect you or listen to what you wanted out of the relationship," I replied in a comforting tone.

"Exactly! I mean, I love anal, and he was really good at it. But a girl likes to suck and dick every now and then, you know what I mean, Rory?" She said, elbowing me and causing me to wince.

"Not really, but okay."

"Anyway, I broke up with Rick and came here. Well, after we had the customary breakup sex. Anal, of course. So that's the update on my love life. How's yours?"

She had told me all of this, unprompted, and started speaking as soon as she sat down, interrupting a conversation I was having with my mom about arrangements for my grandmother's funeral. However, this was the nature of Scarlet and I's close relationship. She told me everything because she trusted me more than anyone else in the world. Sometimes I wish she told me a lot fewer details about things, like how many orgasms her latest fling brought her to. "Have you ever cummed three times while getting anally destroyed by a guy you just broke up with? Cause I have!" She proudly informed me. I smiled and congratulated her. I was in the middle of lunch, but I was always happy to have Scarlet join me.

Our friendship started when she took care of a bully who was bothering me. Seeing me cower before the guy, she stood up for me and ensured he would never bother me again. She and my ex-bully broke up three weeks later, after having customary anal-break up sex, or so she told me in extreme detail. Since then, we have developed a deep, emotional connection that the many guys she hooks up with only wish they could have and are totally jealous of me. I'm sure when they are railing her and watching her massive D-cup breasts heave as she yells out in orgasm, they are wishing they could have been the one to listen to her complain for three hours about her last boyfriend and how he and his roommates got cum in her hair. Which is funny because during those three hours, all I could think about was her heaving D-cup breasts.

But my deepest, darkest secret is that I have been harboring feelings for Scarlet. I think she's the most beautiful woman I've ever met. I want nothing more than to treat her like the princess she deserves to be. If she chose me to be her man, I would tell her every minute of every day how I feel about her and how special she is. And when she inevitably tells me to shut the hell up with the constant stream of compliments, I will take a break and work on my many shrines I have made to her that, despite what my mom says, are not creepy and deeply concerning. But for now, I haven't found the courage to tell her how I feel, and she continues to find emptiness in the arms of these shallow strangers that make her cum 3 to 5 times on average based on the thorough information she provides me.

"Do you think if I blew the assistant manager at Wendy's, they would unban me from using their restroom again? Mmmmm, probably not, considering I was banned this latest time for blowing their last assistant manager in that restroom. Hey, can you pick me up from Taco Bell at 10pm tonight? I got a date with one of their employees," she asked.

I agreed, of course. I'm sure my parents would tell me this was just another example of Scarlet taking advantage of me, but that's just not true. Throughout our friendship, I've established many boundaries. Last summer, she borrowed my car every Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night for four months straight. Eventually, I got tired of cleaning up the used condoms her dates would leave on the backseat, and I nervously asked if she could do something about it. She agreed to no longer require her dates to wear them, and based on the stains that quickly arose on the upholstery, I knew she was telling the truth.

But now I had a plan for my own cum to stain the fabric of my back seat instead of my old high school gym teacher or the many other teachers from our old high school that Scarlet dated during that odd phase she went through last year in college. I'll reveal how I feel to her with such charm and refinement in the most romantic of settings that she'll finally see me for what I really am: her soul mate and ideal lover. Then we'll date and fall in love, and I'll finally learn what a girl's butt feels like.

"Can you cover for me in US history class tomorrow? These cute guys I saw at the gym usually show up and start playing basketball during that time. I have a different type of ball game I want them to play...," Scarlet said, smiling.

"US history was last year, remember? I attended every lecture for you and took the final for you, which I got an F on because I obviously couldn't take two finals and naturally took yours. I think you are asking me to cover for you in chemistry, which I can do," I said, knowing she would be forever grateful for doing this for her.

"I'm going to give them hand jobs while I massage their testicles. That's what I meant when I said a different type of ball game," Scarlet clarified.

"Yeah, I know. You make that same joke every time you plan on giving hand jobs to random guys you saw playing basketball at the gym."

I took a deep breath, but ended up coughing up a storm as I forgot I was in the middle of eating one of the few French fries that Scarlet hadn't stolen off my plate. After regaining my composure, I asked my future soul mate the most important question of my life. "Scarlot... Scarlut... I mean Scarlet... I was hoping you would join you... I mean me... for a walk. I mean, it doesn't have to be a walk, and you can say no if you want to, because I know you are really popular and I think that's cool. But... maybe you and I walk in the park, if that doesn't seem dumb, tonight?" I finally remembered to take a breath and put my face on the table. That was nothing like I had practiced with my dad over the past two weeks straight. I completely forgot to read the quote from the movie 'The Hottie and the Nottie' that Scarlet has had me watch 14 times with her. Dang it, I ruined everything.

"Sure. Now that I've broken up with Rick, I don't think I'm obligated to dance at his brother's bachelor party anymore tonight. Pick me up at 7. Maybe afterwards we can go to Wendy's." She grabbed my cheeseburger off my plate and began eating it.

I... I did it! I asked out Scarlet on a date. Well, maybe not a date but rather a hangout. This was actually the first time, I realized, that I had ever made a suggestion to Scarlet. Usually she proposed all our activities, which commonly involved me buying food for her and her dates after they banged in the back of my car. But this time I got to make the plans, and I probably won't have to wipe some dudes cum off my steering wheel afterwards! I'll bring wet wipes just to be sure.

I arrived at her place just on time and only had to wait forty minutes for her to be ready. During that time, I got the chance to get to know some of her roommates better. "I think she's in the shower," her roommate, Gary, told me.

"Wait, I thought Rob and Ted were showering," Todd questioned.

"They are," Gary responded, giving me a look. I thought that was odd, as I knew their apartment had only a single shower. Eventually, though, she was ready. I was taken aback by her chosen outfit. She wore blue jean shorts that exposed all of her legs, while her crop top left much of her... ample upper bosom free. It was a very alluring outfit. Although it was rare she didn't wear something that her boobs and butt weren't exposed to a degree.

On the car ride there, I tried to nervously start a conversation. "You look really lovely tonight, Scarlet. Like a rose in the moonlight covered in butterflies that the world's greatest artist painted their masterpieces on their wings," I said.

"God, my face still feels sticky. I am so mad at those construction workers. I specifically told them to spray it in my mouth, not my face. I'm only going to send them half of the pussies pictures they asked for tonight as retribution. Oh, and thanks, I guess? I don't like butterflies, though. They're like mosquitoes but bigger. Gross," Scarlet replied in not quite the reaction I hoped. I kept quiet for the rest of the car ride.

At the park, I was delighted to find the weather perfect. The sun was just above the horizon, making the sky a gorgeous orange and pink. I would have to somehow put into words how Scarlet's beauty puts even the sunset to shame. Hopefully, she didn't think sunsets were gross either. I suggested a stroll around the lake, which she agreed to, and she hoped to find a Mai Tai drink vendor on the way.

After a bit of wheezing, I finally found the courage to speak my mind. "Scarlet, we've been friends for many years now, and they've been the greatest of my life. From personally rehoming those 7 pit bulls you bought after realizing the cute veterinarian you were trying to impress only had an eight-inch cock, to being your guinea pig to see what guys at the bar are gay, I've loved it all with you."

"My roommates still laugh at the story about how your first kiss was with that fifty-five-year-old guy I thought was moderately good-looking at that bar on the west end," Scarlet added, unhelpfully.

"What I'm trying to say is that I'm madly in...," but before I could finish my deceleration, Scarlet seemed to recognize someone we were just walking by.

"Taylor? Oh my gosh, it's been so long," she said before running up to him and hugging him.

"Scarlet? Oh man, I almost didn't recognize you without your face covered in my..."

"Hi, I'm her closest friend, Rory," I said, sticking my hand out. He shook it vigorously, causing me to squeak like a mouse that had been kicked in the balls.

"Oh yeah, I remember her telling me about you and how nice you are. And that's saying something considering how I rarely didn't stick something in her mouth when we were together," the guy said while tussling my hair.

"That's funny, she never mentioned you at all. I guess you weren't worth mentioning to me, her best friend," I said in a total power move that would cement me as the alpha in the eyes of Scarlet.

"Yes, I did. Remember when I told you about that guy who made me cum so hard I forgot about your birthday? That was Taylor," Scarlet added.

"Hey, we should catch up sometime. Come see my rugby game this weekend," Taylor suggested.

"And then afterwards I can massage your muscles, including your longest one," Scarlet asked, anxiously. I wondered why she was so concerned about making sure his sartorius muscle would loosen up after the game, but then I remembered this was Scarlet, and as she means with almost everything she says, she was talking about the penis. Before I could lecture her on how a man's genitals are not a muscle, the two of them were already finalizing plans to meet and gave each other a goodbye hug. Well, less of a hug and more of a massage... of his longest muscle.

I pulled her away from him, and we continued our walk. A walk that would forever change our lives. "What were you going to tell me?" Scarlet asked. "Something about you being mad at that middle-aged guy you kissed? Did he give bad head or something?"

"No, that's not it. I mean, his blow job skills weren't bad. Not that he blew me or that I wanted a blow job. I mean, I do want them, but not from middle-aged men. I mean, from any man, regardless of their age," I stuttered. I was trying to ask Scarlet out, and instead, I was talking about receiving oral pleasure from men, which was not going to help me get her to agree to starting a relationship. Although with Scarlet, it might. She once signed up for a timeshare after convincing the two salesmen to peg each other. A timeshare that I agreed to buy from her.

"What I was trying to say before was I have feelings for...," I started to say, only to have her attention drawn to another handsome young man we were walking by.

"Kevin? Is that you? It's me, Scarlet! I haven't seen you in months. Not since we decided to try for a baby, but then gave up after two weeks cause we got bored," she said, jumping up and down like an excited puppy.

"Yeah, I remember you, Scarlet. By the way, it's not Kevin, it's Greg," he explained.

"You were trying to get impregnated by a guy, and you don't even remember his name?" I asked in disbelief.

"It was a phase I was going through. I thought having a kid with a stranger would convince my mom to let me drop out of school. Greg was like one of the ten guys I was having unprotected sex with. Nothing came of it, though, so there were no consequences to my fun! As usual," she said, weirdly proud.

"You... you wanted to get pregnant so you could drop out of school last semester? But I did so much work for you to help you get your grades up and..." My head was spinning.

"Oh, hey, you're Rory. Yeah, I remember Scarlet talking about you. Are you still dating that middle-aged man you met at the bar?" The guy asked me.

"If you'll excuse us, we were having a private conversation," I replied, urging Scarlet to continue walking.

"Bye, Kevin or Greg. I'm threatening my parents that I'll get knocked up unless they buy me a Coach handbag, so I might be calling you later," she said as we finally moved on.

This was not how I thought this walk would turn out. I mean, I kinda thought this could happen given Scarlet's past, but still. "What were you saying before Rory? Something about how that middle-aged man's tongue felt while you kissed at the bar?"

"Rough yet tender. I mean, no! I wasn't talking about him, and please stop bringing him up in every conversation we have. No. I wanted to tell you something very important that I've been feeling for a long time now. I...," but before I could finish, yet again, Scarlet's attention was diverted to a passing guy.

"Hector? Oh my gosh, hi!" She started to say as she went in for a hug with the guy. But I wasn't having it.

"No! Scarlet, I'm trying to tell you something important, and I don't need to hear how you let this guy bang you for two hours while being recorded by some Chinese tourists for fun! I don't care how he covered your chest in so much cum that you smelled like it for a week. Right now it's not important that he fucked you anally while you sucked off a group of guys trying out for the Harlem Globetrotters!" I yelled out, speculating on what terrible act she had committed with yet another guy we came upon. This was supposed to be a night about me professing my love, not learning that Scarlet has done double penetration.

"Rory. This is Hector, my dad's business partner and my family's closest and most trusted friend," Scarlet informed me. My face dropped, and I remember hearing about him. This was the man who had saved her father's business and potentially kept them from financial ruin. Her father would frequently tear up when talking about this man; that's how important he was to them. And yet I had just assumed he was another man whore that my future girlfriend partook in.

"I'm... so sorry, Hector. I didn't know. Please accept my apology for my inappropriate outburst. I have no excuse for my actions," I said, dropping my head in shame.

However, Hector extended his hand and had a smile on his face. "Rory, right? It's good to finally meet Scarlet's best friend. Thanks for everything you do for her," he said, warmly. I looked up at him and felt relieved. I shook his hand and felt like a weight was lifting off my chest. "By the way, they were Korean. Not Chinese," he said.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Also, it was more like five hours of fucking. Scarlet gets mad at me if I don't manage to cum inside her at least five times when we have sex. But man, those Korean tourists were so excited to see a live American slut in action," he said. Scarlet nodded in agreement.

"I think it's time I take you home," I said to Scarlet.

That evening, I admitted to myself that the park was a terrible idea. I needed some place a bit more isolated where we couldn't keep running into her many... past partners. So I came up with the idea of a romantic dinner at a fancy restaurant. I've seen this happen in so many movies. The guy takes the girl to a nice place to eat, and then just at the perfect moment, he proposes to her. I can't remember a single time when the scene was interrupted by a guy walking up and describing how good the girl's mouth felt on his balls.

Even so, I decided to be extra clever. I made reservations at an expensive French place that I had never been to. The time I reserved was 8pm, but I planned to not show up until 9. That way, Scarlet will have been there for 20 minutes and can use that time to go down sexual memory lane with the likely 3 – 5 men there she had gotten with in the past. But when I arrive, all that will be done, and she will focus just on me. I'll profess my love for her, and those 3–5 guys will realize I'm the true alpha male wolf thingy that my internet videos keep telling me I should be.

I arrived at the restaurant, Les Femmes Salopes S'amusent, and saw Scarlet inside, talking with a tall, handsome man. Given her very obscene hand gestures, it looked like a conversation I was glad to be missing. But soon they exchanged a goodbye kiss that was in theme with the French restaurant, and she sat down. I walked in and joined her at the table.

"This place is amazing. I'm really surprised you suggested it, Rory. I didn't think you were into places like this," Scarlet said. I looked around at the elegant art on the walls, which I thought might be from the Neoclassical era of European art, given that they seem to depict stories from Greek and Roman epics. Scarlet pointed to a painting and commented, "The chick in that painting has amazing tits. I bet she could give a hell of a tit job." I laughed at her crude understanding of classic art. Glancing at the scene depicted, I could tell it was showing a moving scene from Antigone, the classic Greek play by Sophocles.

"Thank you for joining me here tonight, Scarlet," I said, deciding to get right to the heart of the matter. "You and I have been deeply connected. By friendship, by trust, and by law, given that you used my car to purchase blow from those undercover cops last year," I said to her while looking her deep into her eyes.

"Yeah, but I was cleared of all charges when I revealed I was asking to blow them, not buy drugs," Scarlet pointed out. "Oh, and also because I blew them. That also helped me get out of trouble."

"Right. But I think we should cement our deep connection. What I'm trying to say is," but as usual, I was interrupted. But this time it wasn't by a guy who knew what Scarlet's pussy felt like when they came inside it, at least I think not, but rather by a man in a tuxedo talking through a microphone.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Gabriel, your host tonight. As is usual on Thursday evenings here at Les Femmes Salopes S'amusent, it's amateur night! So all of you lusty ladies out there looking to show off your skills, you are in luck!"

Scarlet cheered loudly, and I looked around, confused. What kind of French restaurant was this? Amateur night? Were they going to let non-professionals cook our food? And why would he call out lusty ladies? Are horny women better cooks than those that aren't in the mood for sex? "Scarlet. What's going on? What is he talking about?"

She leaned over the table so that I could hear her over the cheering patrons. "Normally, they have their professional girls do all of the stripping and sex games, but tonight, they let anyone volunteer for them." I looked stunned and still confused, and she added, "It's a sex club themed on French Neoclassicism."

I jolted in my seat and looked closer at the painting we had admired earlier. It wasn't a depiction of Sophocles' Antigone at all. Instead, it was a big tittie girl eagerly awaiting to get showered in cum by the three guys masturbating over her. And the painting I thought was a clever take on the classic French play La Tour de Nesle was actually just a painting of a girl getting railed from behind by a buff dude. Even more shocking was the revelation that the impressionist painting I was certain was of the pivotal scene from Shakespeare's Richard II was just two girls 69ing. I was really doubting my knowledge of classic literature.

"Maybe we should go. You really liked walking in the park before. Let's go do that again. Perhaps you'll run into that guy you blew when we went to see The Muppet Movie re-released in theaters," I suggested, as I knew staying would not lead to anything good for me.

"Sure, but let's stay for at least one game. That slutty girl in the corner looks really eager to show off her asshole for the crowd, and I want to see where that leads." Having never changed Scarlet's mind once, I settled into my chair, eager for this night to be over.

"I'm going to need a volunteer girl," the announcer said. "However, I should warn you that our first game will not involve you showing off your butthole," he added. The girl in the corner, who had been eagerly raising her hand, then slammed it onto her table and put on a pout upon hearing that.

"Yes, you! You like you can handle what we have in store." It was then that I realized Scarlet had been enthusiastically trying to get the host's attention and had succeeded, as she was the girl he had chosen.

As she got up to join him up front, I tried to dissuade her. "Are you sure you want to do this, Scarlet? This place doesn't look clean," I said in a lie. The place looked immaculate, and given her love of Wendy's restrooms, I already knew this was a faulty argument.

Standing next to Gabriel, she looked happy and energetic. "What's your name, sweetheart?" the host asked.

"Scarlet."

"And, Miss Scarlet. You do realize that the game you will be playing will involve... interactions with men. You don't have a boyfriend or husband that will be upset if they find out you did this, do you?"

"Oh, no. In fact, I've been taking a break from men for a while," she said. This morning, Scarlet had texted me a long story about how the night before, she had banged three guys because they liked the same color as her. But that was 12 hours ago, so maybe to Scarlet, that meant she had been taking a break from men for a while.

"Well, I think that break will soon be over, given what we have in store for you. I want you to meet our three busboys, nicknamed King Dong, The Schlong Emperor, and Nick," Gabriel announced. Nick grabbed the microphone and told us his nickname comes from his full legal name, Nicholas Largecock. "If you, Miss Scarlet, are willing and able to get all three of these men to cum inside your mouth within three minutes, you'll win our first prize of the night!"

Before the timer could even be started, Scarlet was on her knees and had King Dong's dong in her mouth. In a brilliant move that I wish she hadn't had the experience to think of, she started stroking the penises of the other two men. King Dong had to be braced up by the other two men, given the intense blow job my future girlfriend was giving him. Within thirty seconds, that veteran member of the sex club was depositing his seed into her mouth. Given the head start she had gotten on the other two men, she only needed another minute to finish them with her mouth.

"Holy cow, Scarlet. I think that was a record for our club. What's your secret?" He said, handing her the microphone.

"Believe in yourself. That's the key to everything I do. That, and the fact that I have never paid for a drink in my entire life."

"Wise words from a wise woman. Well, you have earned your prize, which is a date with the busboy of your choice!" I felt that was a weird prize to give out, especially to a woman who had just blown all three of their busboys. But Scarlet was over the moon excited, and that's all that mattered.

As she joined me back at our table, I congratulated her on the blowjobs. Which was weirdly far from the first time I had done so. But with that side activity out of the way, I could do what I came here to do. "My love for...," but just as I was about to sweep her off her feet, Scarlet volunteered for another contest, which she was, of course, picked for.

Over the next two hours, my love won a contest involving making herself cum within two minutes, making three older patrons cum using only her boobs, showing her pussy to the most people, making three random people pulled off the street cum using only her vagina, and a Lord of the Rings trivia contest.

"Estë, wife of Irmo, slept on the Lake of Lórellin during the day," Scarlet proudly answered the final question before wiping some cum off her mouth. With that win, she had now won dates with the entire club staff. Thankfully, that was also the last of the games, and Gabriel retired for the night, leaving us in peace. However, I wisely thought that professing my love for Scarlet, while having the cum of nearly a dozen men currently resting on and in her, wouldn't be in my best interest. After she returned from speaking privately with Gabriel in the back for about thirty minutes, I took her home and made my next brilliant plan.

However, I struggled to think of it. My initial idea was to have a group get-together with her and my other guy friends. Except the last time I got Scarlet and them together, I ended up sleeping on my couch that night, and my bed ended up covered in their cum and her... juices. I appreciated that Scarlet didn't want to risk our friendship by sleeping with me, but I wished she would value other friendships enough to also not risk them by having them cum inside her mouth, ass, and pussy repeatedly while recording videos of it to send to my other friends who weren't able to make it that night.

However, I then realized what I should do. My parents were my go-to source for advice. In particular, when it came to Scarlet matters. They had long known my feelings for her, and at first were very encouraging of me to tell her how I felt. However, after I relayed some of her stories to them, they were less encouraging. Mom in particular suggested I was better suited for the priesthood than dating such a girl, despite the fact that we were Jewish. Dad kept telling me to not put it in crazy. They just didn't know her like I did.

But that would all change with my plan. I would invite her to join my parents and me for dinner. There would be no chance of her running into any of her old sexual partners and no sex contest either. I even asked my mom specifically to make sure she had no blowjob competitions planned, which led to a lot of follow-up questions from her that made me wish I hadn't brought it up. Regardless, Scarlet would show my parents how awesome she is, and then I would find the opportunity to tell her how I feel. There was no way anything weird could happen that would make me regret ever thinking up this idea.

"She's probably late cause she's banging some stranger she met on the street," my mom complained as we waited around the front of the house for her. I had told her to arrive at 7, even though dinner wouldn't start until 8. It was now 8:40.

"Mom! This is my best friend you are talking about and the love of my life," I complained.

"I know, honey. I've seen your altars," she replied.

"They aren't altars, Mom. They are... 3D scrap books," I lied. I made sure to hide them earlier today, just in case.

Finally, I saw her pull up the driveway in her car. Or rather, my car. I told my parents I was going to go meet her outside and bring her in.

"Sorry, I'm so late. I was driving down Main Street, and I saw this hot guy walking along, and I just had to feel him unload all of his potent...," she started to say as she got out of the car.

"That's fine, Scarlet. Please do me a favor and don't tell my parents that you are late because you had sex with a stranger. Can you make up another reason why you are late?" I pleaded.

"Fine. But after that, I need to use the bathroom, or I'm going to make your parents' dining room smell like your bed after the last board game night I did with you and your friends."

"Hi, you must be Scarlet. Rory has told us so much about you," my mom said as we entered the house. They exchanged a small hug.

"Sorry, I'm late. I was having anal sex with a guy that I've known my whole life in the parking lot of that K-Mart that went out of business on Main Street," she said. Well, she did what I asked, I guess. After ten seconds of silence, I suggested we proceed to the dining room.

"Holy fuck balls! Are we having a casserole? I love casserole! I get so horny after I eat them," Scarlet said, taking a seat at the table.

"Oh, good. I'm glad we found something to increase your libido," my mom commented sarcastically. I remember Scarlet also claiming that a lot of other foods made her randy, including burgers, salads, chewing gum, and any beverage...

"So tell us, Scarlet. What are your plans after college?" My dad said, trying to evoke a topic of conversation that wouldn't end up with my future girlfriend speaking for ten minutes straight about how good this guy's cum tasted.

"I'm torn between two ideas. I really like the idea of becoming a neurologist. The connection between the brain and our entire body is fascinating, and I would love to increase our understanding of it." My parents' eyes lit up as they were starting to see a side of Scarlet they never expected.

"My other idea is to be the mistress of a rapper. The idea of following him around to his concerts and fucking him when his wife isn't around is amazing to me. And when I'm not fucking him, he could pass me around to his entourage. Oh! Speaking of neurology, I was sucking this doctor off last night. Or, well, he was less of a doctor and more of a drug user. Anyway, I was sucking him off and..."

Ten minutes later, she ended her story with "... cum tasted amazing. I'm so glad I agreed to hang out with those carnies." Seeing that we had barely eaten any of the food we had plated, Scarlet helped herself to seconds.

"Scarlet. Where do you see your relationship going with my son?" My dad boldly asked. I looked at him wide-eyed and embarrassed, but he paid me no care.

"Rory? Oh, he's my best friend. I suspect we'll stay that way forever," she said with pure genuineness. My mom gave me a look that like she was right in suggesting I give up on the idea of a relationship with her.

"Only best friends? Nothing more?" My dad asked in a follow-up.

"More than best friends? Like super duper, omega-level, Frodo-Sam tier, friends? I don't know... maybe!" My mom's look intensified.

I had hoped to wait to do this in private after dinner, but I sensed I needed to confess now. "Scarlet, being your best friend has been awesome. But I have more to give. If you agree, I would like to be..."

"Oh, that reminds me, Rory. You can have your car back for now," she said, handing me my keys.

"But heads up. It smells strongly of Wendy's and carnival clown cum," she added. I knew exactly the smell she meant.

"Rory, you are picking up your aunt and uncle tomorrow from the airport. I would rather they didn't... experience such a scent. You should go clean up the car now," my mom suggested.

I excused myself and taking my usual cum cleaning supplies, I headed out to the car. Thirty minutes later, I had successfully removed the offending materials and headed back inside. However, I found no one by the table, and I worried, having left Scarlet alone with them, that my parents had gotten into an intense argument with her. It was vital to me that they get along with Scarlet, no matter how.

"Slam that cock deep into me, Mr. Forbes!" I heard the voice of Scarlet yell from upstairs. I slowly made my way up the stairs and heard her next yell out, "God, your pussy tastes magical! I can't wait for you to taste mine. Just as soon as your husband cums inside me for the third time." I think my parents had found a way to get along with Scarlet.

Over the next twenty minutes, my parents' bedroom was bursting with the sounds of lustful activities. Grunts, moans, wall slams, and even sounds similar to that of barnyard animals were emanating from it. Having no desire to hear such things, I retreated to my room, but the sound carried far.

"Oh god, Mrs. Forbes. That's the largest dildo I've ever had inside me!"

"Holy shit, my face is drenched in cum! But that's nothing compared to what you did with my pussy, Mr. Forbes."

"This is my favorite two-sided dildo that you've had me try, Mrs. Forbes. I can't believe we got it to fit in my ass. Lucky your husband's cum is a great lubricant!"

As I was lying on my bed in my room, thinking about how tonight didn't really work out as I had hoped, my dad peeked into my bedroom. He looked very sweaty but quite happy. "Hey... buddy. I just wanted to let you know that your mom and I now see how great a girl Scarlet is. So sorry about all the mean things we said about her before. So... could you make us some food? We've been at it for a while now and don't show any signs of stopping. You know how it is. Well, I guess you probably don't, but just trust me."

I sat up, looking to my dad. "Are you kidding me, Dad? I brought my love here tonight to get to know my parents better before I confess my feelings to her. And now you want me to make you guys food so you can continue to have sex with her uninterrupted all night?" After a moment of silence, I continued. "Of course I will! You know how much I love cooking! Give me thirty minutes, and I'll have some of the tastiest snacks you can imagine."

After accepting my cooked goods with a distracted thank you, they sounded like they went late into the night with their bonding activities. The next day, the three of them joined me for a late breakfast, where Scarlet recounted the whole night's event in vivid detail while my parents held hands and looked at each other lovingly. "... came in me so much that you might have a half-sibling on the way," she said, finally ending her story.

Mom and Dad left for upstairs, telling Scarlet to join them once she finishes her coffee. With it just being the two of us alone, an awkward silence fell. Considering she had just had an all-night threesome with my parents, I was beginning to think that maybe a relationship wasn't in the future for Scarlet and me. But that was okay. I could accept being her best friend. A best friend who will spend his life yearning after her.

"How many people do I need to have sex with till you get a clue and ask me out?" Scarlet said, giving me an annoyed look. All I could do was look back at her with a dumb, confused look. She rolled her eyes and said, "When a girl fucks a ton of guys and tells her guy friend all about it, it's because she liked him and is trying to make him jealous. Rory, how dense are you? Ask me out already!"

I couldn't believe it. She actually likes me. But wait. "I've never heard of a girl having as much sex as you just in an effort to get a guy she's friends with to ask her out. That's not a thing," I replied.

"It totally is! How do you think my parents got together? Now, do I need to also have sex with your older brother, or are you going to ask me out?"

I went into a slight panic, trying to remember one of the many speeches I had written for just this reason. "I... Scarlet... Rory, I mean... do you go out with me?"

"Yes!" she replied to my mumbled question.

She gave me a small hug and then stood up. "Now, if you'll excuse me. I promised your dad I would peg him while your mom hides in their closet and masturbates."

I watched in amazement as she walked up the stairs. I had a girlfriend!