and some things are put to rest,
I made a list just for you.
You always did love the things
that were just ours to hold,
beautiful vignettes that lit your eyes,
dark scenes that clipped your heart.
I'd list last new year's eve,
your finger hushing my lip
before saying what can't
ever be taken back.
"Let's keep this simple and just
enjoy this lovely arrangement."
I never remained simple
in your warm proximity,
I lost myself in your details,
your soft strands like silken strings
against the clear and cold moonlight,
winter bringing out your skin's fair hue.
How your hand squeezed, just once,
as if to say you also know
the clock, continuous, counted down
something more important to me
than a flux of endless numbers.
"Let's not worry so much, dear,
and make the best of this."
Your lips near and part
and I only taste sweet wine,
the friction of hands through my hair,
rainbows exploding in the midnight sky,
each concussive boom muffling
the way my heart beat,
where it hurt the most.
As the year turned over
and some things were put to rest,
I made a list of what to tell you.
While some were expected sweet nothings,
some were too painful to keep holding alone,
some invoked your true longings,
no matter what denial was pledged,
even if they made you ache for me.
I'd list the spring and summer months
when I could never say the right words,
where we fled too slowly to notice
the strings between us unlacing.
"Let's keep this safe and just
know we'll find our way back."
The safety in those words,
in the proximity of arms cradling me,
all I listened to beyond there was
the thunder inside your chest calming
from the storms we coaxed earlier.
I'd lose myself in those details,
never the punctures before or after,
never the distance contradicting
such beautiful eyes in the summer mist.
How you clasped around me in ways
that promised more than just
skin wishing to claim, to keep me,
and the clock, continuous, ticked along
the edges of something far more potent
than a flux of knowing bodies.
"Let's not make too much of this, dear,
and put on a proper smile
before we join all of our friends,
give me a kiss before we step inside."
Your lips meet and depart
and an echo of sweet wine
lingers as if you taste decided
to tune itself to my bloodstream.