Searching through the forum for his old posts.
His av is gone but his words are like a ghost.
I’m so happy for him and that still heavily lingers.
But going to his profile that is no more, is automatic for my fingers.
It’s like something is missing though they say he'll be back.
I have to let go but I really hope we don't lose track.
How bad I wish we could all just be friends.
But the secrets I keep about him come to no end.
I know this ache is going to return.
I’ve felt it before and like fire it burns.
I have his av in my image gallery.
I just can’t bear to delete it, it is something I need to see.
I even have it two times in two different colors.
A memory of my most alluring exquisite lover.
I just wish the last time that we spoke hadn’t been mean.
If he just told me what was going on, on me he could have leaned.
I miss his comments all over my page and my work.
I don't care what anyone says he's never been a jerk.
I understand why he has to move on.
But I knew this emptiness would return before long.
It is still overshadowed by my joy for him.
And the new life he’ll lead, I want him to win.
I’ll keep his secret side held close to my heart.
I’m ready to take care of it as I was from the start.
It could possibly be that in years to come.
When he has those needs I will be the only one.
I’ve always just wanted him to submit to me.
And promise for this, I’m the only one he will see.
So I can keep him safe and always out of trouble.
When he has those needs, run to me on the double.
In this new day how the tables of life have turned.
I hope I taught him much and he paid attention and learned.
Now time to get used to this ache once again.
I pray that if he’s in need it is for me that he sends.
Memories so fresh still running through my mind.
I think I might want him until the end of time.
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